Same universe as my previous story
Lots of inward thinking Lena psychological stuff. If your into that. Also her decision to go to therapy...again
Moving On Up
It hadn't been long after midnight when the blonde hero reached across the bed for her partner craving that special warmth. Instead her hands came up empty. Tilting her head up off the pillow her eyes confirmed that she was alone in bed. With a grunt she forced herself on her feet and made her way out into the condo in search of the insomniac she had come to pair had been living together a little over three months after deciding they were both ready for the next step. They had chosen Lenas penthouse over Kara's studio apartment for many reasons. It was bigger, had better security, and Lena owned the whole building.
Her bare feet padded across the cold marble floor from room to room. She checked on the balcony where she often found the girl looking at the stars or waiting for her to come home. She wasn't on the couch. Not in the kitchen. Kara rolled her eyes on her way to the last possible place her girlfriend could be. The office. Kara had a no work at home policy which Lena rarely followed. The girl was sneaky.
She chuckled at the sight in front of her as she stepped across the threshold. Lena was slumped over on the floor surrounded by papers. Reports, charts, business summaries, brochures, and other important papers littered the floor. The woman had fallen asleep with a pen in one hand and a Twizzler in the other. Kara was the one with a sweet tooth but she knew Lena kept a stash in of Twizzlers in her desk at home. Just for the occasional urge of something sweet.
Kara quietly began collecting the papers into a pile so as to not wake the other woman. She shuffled around until all the papers were stacked nicely on Lenas desk. She easily rolled Lena over and hoisted her in her arms in bridal style. The girl mumbled something incoherent as she snuggled into the stronger girl's chest. Kara easily walked through the condo to the bedroom and laid Lena down gently on her side of the bed. Kara knew Lena was awake now as her breathing pattern changed. She crawled underneath the covers wrapping the girls midsection with her powerful arms.
"I wasn't just doing work. I was looking at brochures for vacation as well" Lena mumbled quietly in the dark bedroom.
"I know. I'm not mad. I just want you to get some rest" the girl said reassuringly as she moved closer into Lena's back.
"You take such good care of me" Lena said as she shifted her body around facing her partner. She reached in the dark where she knew Kara's face was and placed a chaste kiss to her lips. Her body was cold from being on the floor but Kara's body was a furnace. I guess it can do that when your literal source of energy is the sun.
"I don't know how you do that. Fall asleep anywhere" Kara inquired.
"I'm not sure. I guess I learned to fall asleep in office chairs, on the floor, and in the back of limos as a kid when my parents put me on the back burner. I'm sure it helps not having super hearing" Lena teased the other girl. Kara had mostly reigned in her super hearing to be selective since she had come to earth. Eliza and Jeremiah helping her focus her abilities or they would overwhelm her when she was younger. Some nights even in her sleep she could hear the sirens throughout the city. In her old apartment building she could hear the couple arguing downstairs or the teenager cursing at his tv screen at 2am. Most nights though she got a good amount of sleep.
The next day the couple went their separate ways. One to CatCo and the other to L-Corp.
Lena was blazing her way through her workload because tonight was game night at her and Kara's place. She loved saying that. Kara was a much better host than Lena was. She was too proper. Too uptight. She was used to having a maid and butler before she moved to National City. Even in college her apartment off campus was kept spotless. When she did have guests over, which was rare, they always commented how mature her apartment was. No alcohol bottles, dart boards, or fatty foods lying around like other students had. She had a cleaning lady that came once a week to clean, do laundry, and take out trash. Also to report back to her Mother that her step daughter was doing exactly as she was told.
When Kara moved in she brought with her all the brightness Lena had been missing. Though she was happy that Kara had moved in, there were some complications early on. Kara left things leisurely laying around, she left lights on, she left food out and Lena's biggest pet peeve, Kara didn't make up the bed when she got out of it in the morning.
One night Lena couldn't take it anymore and exploded at her unknowing confused girlfriend. That had resulted in a crying Kara who slept at Alex's for a few nights to give Lena space to decide if this was what she really wanted. The few nights apart from Kara snapped things into perspective for the CEO. Showing up at Alex's apartment at 2am with bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep and doing the closest thing to begging for a Luthor hadn't been in her plans but it got her girl back home. Ever since, a cleaning lady came twice a week and Kara tried her best to be less messy. A little communication went a long way.
She was wrapping things up early when her phone rang. She didn't recognize the number but the area code was local.
"Lena Luthor"
" Yes Hi Ms. Luthor. This is Ed. I am the landlord for Karas apartment over in Candlewyck. I tried reaching Ms. Danvers and her sister but no one answered and you're her second emergency contact.
"Oh. Umm What did you need Kara for?"
"We had a pipe bust in the apartment above hers about 2 hours ago. I was trying to reach her because she has some funky lock on the door and I really need to get in to assess the damage. I cut the water off to both floors but honestly I have no idea what condition her apartment is in"
"You know what Ed I was just about to leave work and I have her emergency spare key so I would be happy to let you in. I can be there in 30 minutes"
"Thank you so much Ms. Luthor. I'll see you in a bit"
Lena slammed her laptop shut, grabbed her pea coat, and waltzed out her office.
Jeff, please have the car ready, I'll be down in 10"
"Of course Ms. Luthor"
They had been living together for almost 4 months and Kara had kept her apartment. As she stood in the descending elevator her mind began to swirl. She knew Kara's biggest secret in the world. Why would she keep her apartment a secret? Was she keeping It just in case they crashed and burned. She resisted the urge to Call Kara up immediately demanding answers. Jeff knew his way to Karas apartment has he had taken Ms. Luthor many times before. Lena looked out the window as the sun began to set on the city. She thought they were done with the secrets. The lies. The cover ups.
"Wow. It's really you. I mean how many Lena Luthors could there be" the balding middle aged man gushed as she arrived at Karas door.
"You must be Ed. Lovely to meet you" Lena said cordially as she shook the man's hand.
" It's really nice of you to come all this way"
"It's no problem at all. I am a friend of Karas and I'm sure she is just busy with work. If I may?" She asked, shaking the keys.
"Of course"
" I should probably go first, Just in case Kara didn't clean up" Lena offered so she could have the chance to cover up any Supergirl business.
" Yea sure. Just be careful" the man said blushing. Lena squeezed in the door blocking his view into the apartment closing the door behind her. Kara's apartment looked like she had never left. All her furniture and kitchen utensils in their original spot. Her clothes still hung on racks for her makeshift closet. Kara had told her she sold most of her things because Lenas apartment was already fully furnished. She had brought mostly personal items to their apartment. Plants, clothes, toiletries, pictures, and other decorations she wanted to keep. Lenas stomach lurched as there were even dishes in the sink signifying the girl had been here recently. She felt like she was going to hurl.
"Everything ok in here?" the landlord said, slowly opening the door. He walked around her looking for signs of water damage. She stood still looking at the ground as he tapped the ceiling with a broom. Karas broom.
"Looks like the water hasn't seeped through yet. A couple dehumidifiers in here and it should dry anything that might be in the walls right up. Ms. Danvers should be able to stay in her apartment with no problems. I'll bring a couple dehumidifiers from the basement"
"I'll be sure to let her know. Here. You have this" she said, placing the single key in his hand.
"Are you sure? I can just wait until Ms. Danvers comes home" he questioned looking at the strange key to the strange lock he definitely had not installed.
"No, it's fine. I haven't used it in months" she smiled before exiting hastily.
The drive home was quiet and filled with sadness. She had company coming over in an hour. It was too late to cancel or Kara would know something was up. Maybe the apartment was Kara's back up plan in case things between them didn't work out. She couldn't fault the girl for that but it still made her upset. She was putting everything into their relationship. She had bared her soul to this woman. As a friend and partner. She didn't need a back up plan because she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Kara. Lena had never felt this way about anyone. If Kara had lied about the apartment what else was she still lying about. The idea of it all made Lenas head hurt.
As she felt her eyes welling up her wall came down. Her Luthor upbringing compartmentalized all the facts and shoved them down into tiny little boxes along with her emotions. If Kara was just biding her time until things came crashing down then so could she. Lena knew how to play pretend too.
Kara must have cleaned because the apartment smelled like febreeze and strong disinfectant.
"Hello love" Kara sounded off from the kitchen. Lena took a deep breath before making her way to the kitchen. Kara was levitating as she put some groceries up on the higher shelves of the pantry.
"I see our groceries got delivered" Lena said, taking off her coat and laying her purse on the island.
"Yup. Everything accounted for. They even got that super strong coffee you like" Kara said brightly as she floated over to Lena. Kara landed on the floor with a small jiggle and planted a quick kiss on Lenas cheek.
"Everything looks great" Lena said, noticing all the snacks on the counter and games already set out in the living room. She decided then that she couldn't pretend. She couldn't smile in the girls face along with their friends all night.
" I'm really sorry to do this but I'm going to have to skip game night" Lena said flatly.
"Lee. No. Come on. It's Friday night" Kara pleaded.
"I know. I know. It's just I have some really important markups that need to be done…"
"No. Whatever it is can wait until Monday or at least until tomorrow. Our friends will be here in a few minutes"
" I'm sure your friends will be fine with just you tonight" Lena said, not looking at the other girls pouty lips.
"Our friends Lena. Come on. Well have fun and take your mind off work for the night" Kara offered reaching for the dark haired girls hand.
"Kara I run a multi million dollar company. I'm doing life altering work and I oversee over 10,000 employees all around the world. I don't have time for games all the time" the woman responded slipping her hand away. It had come out louder then she intended it to. She watched as the blondes pouted lips started to waver and she resisted the urge to hug her.
"Your right. Sometimes I forget you run a whole entire company" the blonde tried joking to cover her disappointment. Lena wanted to scream. She had just gone off on the girl for no reason and somehow she still took the blame. The two stood in silence for a few seconds until the doorbell rang. Kara immediately put on a fake smile and headed for the door.
"Hey little sis" Lena heard loudly from the front hallway followed by some whispering. The door remained open while the two women had a private conversation. Lena could only guess what was being said. After a minute the door closed and Kara came back into the kitchen. She began cleaning up the kitchen quietly, avoiding the gaze of the other woman. Lena watched as she put the fruit/vegetable tray in the fridge. She put the sodas away and wiped off the counter.
" You cancelled game night?" Lena asked in a whisper not wanting to startle the girl cleaning the kitchen.
"No. Were going to go somewhere else" Kara said softly.
"You could have still had game night here" Lena offered, feeling like the biggest bitch.
"It's ok. I know you're super busy. I didn't want the noise to distract you or people to bother you by trying to get you to join us. I'm going to go get changed"
The other girl headed into the bedroom leaving Lena to her thoughts. She grabbed her purse and slowly made her way into the office. Plopping down in her chair she let out a loud sigh. What the hell was wrong with her. Kara had done nothing to deserve that. Why was she like this. Why couldn't she be better. Better for Kara. Better for their relationship. Why couldn't her heart and brain ever be on the same page. She wanted nothing more than to have a swift conversation about the apartment and move on. Go out tonight with their friends.
Still something in her wouldn't allow her to move. All the lies in the past. Not just from Kara but from everyone. Never having a real relationship and barely any friendships for that matter. Of course Kara would keep her apartment. Look at what just happened. She blew up on her perfect girlfriend based off of her own insecurities. Her own psychological trauma wouldn't allow her to stand up and go apologize. Her harsh upbringing wouldn't let her be happy. Her mind had to make things harder. Had to create problems.
Instead the whole apartment situation festered. It dug deep. It left scars. It built walls between her and what she really wanted. It was stronger. Her self doubts. So she let it win as she opened her laptop and dove into a new project. She heard the front door close minutes later.
The next morning she woke up to an empty bed and an empty apartment. She had stayed up till 2am working on various distractions but really she was waiting up for Kara. The other woman sent a text letting her know she was staying at Nias apartment. She laid in bed looking up at the ceiling wondering how she was going to fix her mistake. After doing her usual morning routine she made her way to the balcony to look out over the city.
She leaned on the railing sipping her coffee and watched as the people below bustled about. People jogging. Children playing. Birds flying around. A police car cruising by slowly. She could see it all. A glimpse of something in the sky caught her eye. Her eyes adjusted to the sun rays beating down as she definitely looked up in the sun's direction. She could just make out the lining of a person. Only one person she knew that could be.
Kara slowly descended to the balcony careful not to land too harshly.
"Hey" she said shyly. Her usually shiny suit was covered in debri and ash.
" What did you get yourself into? And before noon huh?" The raven hair girl smirked referencing the mess covering her girlfriends body
"Oops. I was helping a construction crew down by the new bridge. One of the support beams kind of just failed. I happened to be flying by"
" Well aren't you just handy" Lena said in a joking manner.
"Uh. Yea. I'm going to go get cleaned up"
Kara barely looked her in the eyes as she dusted herself off and picked pieces of concrete out of her hair. She disappeared into the condo without another word. Lena sat in her patio chair feeling rejected for a few minutes before making her way into the kitchen to clean her up mess from breakfast. She was going to have to do some major damage control. Kara was just getting out the shower when she plopped down on their bed.
"How was your evening?" Lena asked.
"It was fun. Just the usual" Kara said as she towel dried her hair. Another towel was covering most of her body but Lena could still see her strong arm and leg muscles. She stood at the bottom of the bed lifting each leg onto the bed as she dried off. Running the towel up and down her slightly tanned body.
Lena couldn't help herself. She got up and walked around to meet Kara who only stared at the ground. Lena pulled the towel out of Kara's hand, tossing it on the floor. Although Kara probably barely felt anything she let Lena push her back on the bed. Lena continued as she climbed on top of the wet girl. She began kissing from below her belly button up between the valley of her breast. Her hand gliding over wet skin as it moved from the inside of her knee up to the inside of her thigh. Kara's breath hitched as Lena laid her full weight on top of her. She laid like that for a few seconds before edging off to one side of Karas body. Using one of her hands she pushed Kara's knee out effectively giving her full access. She dug her face into the crook of Kara's neck under her damp hair as she began sliding one finger up and down gathering the girl's juices.
After a minute of teasing and neither girl saying anything Lena entered her with two fingers. Kara immediately jerked at the sudden intrusion. Lena entered and exited slowly giving the girl time to adjust. A few seconds later she could feel Kara relax against her. That was her green light. She began pumping her fingers in and out of her girlfriend furiously. Adding to the menstrations below she bit harshly into the girls shoulder. She had learned from previous occasions she had to bite hard for Kara to actually feel anything.
"Ok. Stop. Stop" the blonde girl said sitting up on her elbows effectively causing Lena to stop.
"Is this about last night?" the blonde asked.
"What? What about last night" Lena said flipping her hair out of her face. Her hand is still lingering between the girl's thighs.
"You were acting weird last night. We barely talk and now your fucking me". The blue eyed girl was genuinely concerned for her girlfriend.
They both knew that Lena had intimacy issues. Not for a lack thereof. Growing up with rigid and cold parents took a toll on Lenas concept of love. She could get whatever she wanted from her parents except what she actually needed. So when she was sent off to prep school she found other ways to get what she needed. Using sex as her love language to get the attention and affection she lacked at home. Using sex as means of apology when her immature spoiled boyfriends were upset at the world or with her. Kara had been the only person she had ever told besides her therapist. Kara knew when something was off sometimes by the way Lena touched her. That she had a bad day when she walked in the door demanding a naked Kara. Sometimes she let her take it out on her to get her stress out but not when something was off between them.
"I just wanted to make you feel good" Lena said softly, avoiding the girl's gaze.
"Lee. Look at me. It's just me and you here. Whatever it is, you can talk to me.
"Since when does their have to be something wrong for me to have sex with my girlfriend" Lena said dejectedly removing her hand from the girls body.
"That's not what I meant. I love you and I love your touch but I don't like the way you talked to me last night. I can still feel the tension in the air Lena"
"I'm sorry about last night. I'm a little stressed out. I shouldn't have taken that out on you"
"No you shouldn't have. Are you going to tell me what's going on in there" Kara said lightly tapping Lena's forehead.
"I know about your apartment"
"My apartment? What about it"
"Your landlord called and said there was a leak. You and Alex weren't answering because I'm assuming he doesn't have your new numbers from the DEO issued phones you got last month. I went over there and all your stuff is still there. Kara, why did you lie to me?"
"I didn't lie Lena" the girl said sitting up crossed leg and covering herself with a disregarded towel.
"I saw it with my own eyes. You told me you sold your stuff. I just don't understand. I thought you wanted to move forward"
"I do. Lena I love you. It's complicated" the blonde offered, laying her hand gently on her girlfriends shoulder. The girl harshly pulled away and stood on the opposite side of the bed.
"So complicated that you can't tell me the truth. Why did you even agree to move in with me?" Lena pleaded. Her wall had come down and she was on the verge of tears.
"Lena its work related. As in my second job."
"I thought we said no more secrets"
"We did but its not my secret to tell"
Now Lena was just getting more frustrated at Karas excuses.
"If you didn't want to move in you should have just said instead of lying to me" Lena said rushing out the bedroom. Kara quickly wrapped the towel around her to follow.
"Lena please just let me explain" Kara said, hurrying behind her into the living area.
"Now you want to explain but you've been lying to me for months"
"It's more complicated than that"
The dark haired woman swung around abruptly putting her hands on hips catching the blonde off guard.
"Explain it to me"
"I had already paid for next month's rent when we decided to move in together. Then I was supposed to give my 30 day notice to my landlord but I couldn't. I couldn't do it. That apartment was the first place I ever lived by myself. I lived with my parents on krypton. Then with The Danvers in Midvale. Then in college, an array of roommates. This was my first apartment that was all mine. That I got to decorate. That actually had an essence of me instead of other people. And I'm glad I didn't move out officially because we ended up needing the apartment. An alien family that was running from an abusive human husband was seeking refuge. We got to hide them for a few weeks at the apartment. Maggie got the evidence she needed to put the husband away. Then another alien needed a place to stay until he could afford his own place. A college student got kicked out of her dorm after being harassed by a bunch of bullies"
At this point Kara was rambling. Frantic for Lena to hear her out. All of her anger dissipated as she realized of course her hero girlfriend was doing secretive hero shit.
"Kara. Kara! I get it" Lena said trying to get the girl to stop and catch her breath.
"I didn't want to lie but it was to protect people. The DEO kept it in my name instead of taking ownership to keep it off the books. It's a safe house for aliens. I'm sorry I lied. I really am. It's not that I couldn't trust you. Just red tape and stuff"
"Kara I understand. Baby I am so sorry" Lena said cupping the blonde left cheek with her right hand.
"I should have known. I should have thought anything other than the worst. That's on me, not you love. It's on me for not just communicating with you"
"Lena you have to come to me with stuff like this. We could have avoided this whole weird situation" the blonde added putting her hands over Lenas and leaning into her palm.
"I'm not good at this Kara. I don't know why your with me sometimes honestly"
"Lena I am madly in love with you. I want to live here with you but I can't do the pushing away thing. I'm yours as long as you'll have me. You have to remember that"
"My mind just gets so clouded. Clouded by my inability to trust. I know I can trust you and most of the time I can deal with it all but this time I couldn't fight through it"
"Lee, have you thought about maybe going back to counseling? Like you did in college? You said it really helped you"
"Maybe that's a good idea. I don't want to lose you and I'll do whatever I can to become a better person for you"
"I want you to do it for you. I'm going to get dressed and we can talk more" she said pattering back to the bedroom still wrapped in a towel.
Lena knew this was her fault. Even if Kara had lied to her, the girl was lying to save the world. That had to count for something. So she took a few breaths and decided she was calling her the therapist first thing Monday morning. She meant what she said about doing anything to keep Kara in her life.