When the most ancient Being broke free of Her supposedly unbreakable prison, the archangels had great reason to be afraid. Her grace as most like His, and their fear of Him was infinite. It was paralysing.
Michael was napping, his mate and siblings all within reach. The unfamiliar grace in Heaven stirred the others into surrounding Michael and Lucifer. Gabriel had taken Samandriel to Earth or they would have also surrounded the fledgling, and Castiel was with Dean.
The instincts of the archangels were specific. Protect the sick and the young, and those who could not safely protect themselves. The archangel fledgling Lucifer carried was an innocent. They were Michael's fledgling, but the instincts of the flock insisted the child was the responsibility of them all, just like Raphael's fledgling, Sami, was looked after by all of them. The child of one archangel was the child of all the archangels.
They did not know She meant them no harm. Only Michael would have remembered Her and he was sleeping, soundly content with the feeling of his siblings' warmth surrounding him and his.
The other archangels spoke not a word. Their grace actively reinforced the warding on the room, but the wards were untested. They could in theory keep out God, but what if He, or She, actually went at the wards with their full strength? Could anything really keep out the creator of the universe? Or His sister?
she did not break the wards. she did not understand why there were so many of them but from outside their wards, she could see them. she could feel the one she was looking for at the center of them, but what was even more obvious to her was the fear.
The grace holding the wards quaked with it, and their posture in lying around the center, they were defending hers with their bodies. They feared the worst was about to happen. h er, they feared her . Why? she would never ever have hurt any of the beings He had created, had not even stood for Him laying a hand on His eldest child.
she could tell that the five beings in the room and at least one small grace she could not quite guess at the purpose of were all creations of His. (With the possible exception of the small grace(s?).) But it was too small to be a being yet, smaller than the creations He had been making but were unfinished at the time she had been cast out.
And they were frightened. she had been cast out for protecting the eldest from Him and she could only guess at what he had continued doing, not only to His eldest creation, but to the others as well. This was learned fear. What had He done?
The archangels curled on the floor didn't know what to do. They couldn't see Her through the walls and wards, didn't want to. They cowered, hoping, wishing, but never praying, that perhaps, just maybe, they wouldn't die today. But if She wanted to hurt them- there was no doubt in the minds of any of them that she was more than capable of it.
End the world- it would. But if She truly wanted an end to all of His Creations- it would be relatively easy. They had nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. The instinct to protect Lucifer and Michael wouldn't let them leave, either.
And waking Michael was not an option. If the world was going to end- Michael would never know. They firmly believed that was how it was supposed to be.
The universe seemed to freeze. Three terrified and paralyzed archangels refusing to move and Her, seeming content to watch indefinitely without making any movement, hostile or otherwise.
It's impossible to say what exactly woke Michael. The fear in his siblings' graces, Her grace, the baby. But somehow, he woke, and he recognized the tension. He observed, taking in all of his surrounding and trying to make sure he understood.
And then he did. "Auntie Ama!" he shouted. He scrambled out from underneath the bodies of the other archangels and climbed over them as he rushed through the wards to hug the teenage girl standing just beyond the door. "Auntie Ama."
The teenager hesitated for a moment but then she wrapped Her arms around him. "Mikha," she said, quietly. There was worry and relief in her voice. "What happened to your wing?"
Michael leaned back, eying her warily. "Nothing?" he tried, not really trying to believe it himself and not really trusting she'd buy it.
"Mikha… don't lie to me."
The archangel gave her a grim smile. He'd been too young to really remember anything more complicated than the fact that one day she and the creator had been screaming at each other and then he never saw her again.
But he did remember that Amara had never once failed to see through his lies. "I… I wouldn't tell the Creator where Gabriel went. I was protecting him, he's my baby brother."
she tightened her arms around Michael, and glanced behind him at the other beings in the room. They had all shifted to watch in morbid curiosity.
They were all still utterly afraid and she wanted nothing more than to hug them and assure them that she meant absolutely not harm to them. she was not her Brother. No. He'd imprisoned her for standing up when He'd been too rough with a very young Mikha.
"Where, where were you?" Michael swallowed, not sure whether or not he really wanted to know. He'd had suspicions, but the Creator had never said. He'd implied she'd abandoned him, but it was clear now that the manipulations had been rampant, if not clear exactly how much so.
"He locked me away. But I finally freed myself. I was worried about you."
Michael nodded. It made sense to him that He would have done such a thing. "You haven't met my mate, or my siblings, yet." He pulled out of her hug, but reached to take her hand and led her to meet Heylel and the rest of the archangels.
Michael trusted Amara easily. He remembered her and how not only had she protected him, but her rooms had become the one place he associated with safety. There was a reason he had built a nest in the room that had once been hers.
The rest of his family did not trust her so easily, not when her existence felt so strongly of His and dug up their terror that He would return with the intention of bringing them further pain. The three younger archangels watched in trepidation as Michael led her over to Heylel, introducing her to his mate and the unborn baby.
Once Amara had been introduced to Heylel, Michael introduced her to each of their younger brothers one at a time. Raphael was introduced next so that he could make sure that the stress of Amara's appearance hadn't hurt Heylel or the baby.
"Ouch!"
Michael had just finished introducing Amara to the last of the archangels when Raphael yelped. A glance in their direction revealed that Heylel had doubled over and had gripped Raphael's arm harder than intended. The pregnant archangel was looking sheepish, but pained.
Michael moved to his mate. "Heyl? Are you okay?"
"Hurts," Heylel managed between gasping breaths.
"Is the baby coming?" Amara asked.
Raphael blanched.
"Mikha didn't say why but he wants me to come back to Heaven." Gabriel ran his fingers through Sam's hair. He was lying on his back on the bed and Sam was curled next to him, using him as a pillow. "I couldjust ignore him."
"Think he might have answers to why I've been dreaming about being sad and cold and dark?" Sam folded himself even smaller, trying to get as close to Gabriel as physically possible. It was late at night but sleeping was a no go because he'd already woken up from a nightmare.
Samandriel slept on the foot of the bed, curled up in one of Sam's blankets. It was nothing short of a miracle that Sam had not woken him.
"I'm picking up what feels like a strange presence in Heaven, but Mikha sounded genuinely exuberant. He wouldn't have sounded like that if anything was amiss." Gabriel draped his other arm over Sam. His mate sought tactile comfort but often never thought to ask for it, but that was okay. He could read Sam's non-verbal request not to be left alone.
"No one knows how long Heylel's pregnancy could be, right? His going into labor would be a cause for celebration."
"It's possible." Gabriel leaned his head back, studying the ceiling. "I could take you to see them, if you'd like to go?"
Sam liked Mikha and Heylel, but he was also mentally exhausted and the after effects of waking up from a realistic nightmare hadn't gone away yet. But if Heylel had gone into labor, then maybe seeing them safe and healthy would provide some comfort.
Gabriel held the still sleeping Sami and flew Sam directly to the big family nest and what they found was about what they were expecting.
Raphael was in one corner of the room, trembling while trying to remain as still as possible. He had paled significantly and also looked as though he might faint. A woman who looked like a teenager was sitting next to him and talking quietly.
Mikha and Heylel were sitting on the floor. Heylel was holding a bundle wrapped in a dark green blanket and Mikha was leaning over them and tickling the bundle while making silly faces.
Aziraphale and his Crowley were out of the way, keeping an eye on the woman and their brothers. Seeing Gabriel's arrival, Aziraphale walked over.
"Is your brother okay?" Sam asked quietly to Gabriel, referring to Raphael. He was excited at the prospect of Heylel having given birth, but he was also concerned about the distressed archangel in the corner of the room. Slightly more concerning though, was the woman with him. "Gabe," he whispered, "she looks like the woman from my dream."
"I don't know who she is," Gabriel whispered. But his tone didn't convey any worry about that. If Michael and Heylel were at ease enough to allow her into the nest when Heylel had given birth, and none of their siblings were putting up a fight, it meant that the likeliness of her meaning any harm were zilch. "I don't think we should disturb Rafa right now. Instead, let's go check on Mikha and Heylel."
"I can hold Sami," Azi offered, relieving the archangel of the sleeping fledgling before Gabriel headed towards Michael and Heylel.
Sam followed Gabriel across the room in the direction of the eldest archangels. He wanted to see the child of archangels, but there was also a small part of him that worried that even though Michael and Heylel had been increasingly friendly with him, they wouldn't want the likes of him here for this.
His fears were unfounded, of course. "Sam! Gabriel! You came!" Michael beamed at them when he looked up from the baby. "You have to come meet Talia!"
"May I hold Talia?" Gabriel asked, looking not at Michael, but at Heylel.
Heylel nodded in consent, and gently passed Gabriel the baby. "Hi, baby," he cooed. "I'm your Uncle Gabe."
The baby spat bubbles at Gabriel and Gabriel cooed.
"Sam, are you alright?" Heylel asked, concerned.
"I'm fine," Sam said, brushing it aside. This was a joyous occasion and he didn't get to bring it down. "Just tired, haven't been sleeping well."
"Do you want to hold Talia, Sam?" Gabriel asked.
"I think I'd better pass," Sam said. If he was coming down with something, then he really shouldn't be putting himself in a position to spread it to a defenseless.
A glance in the direction of Raphael revealed that the woman Sam didn't know had moved away from him so Sam decided to approach.
"Hey, Sam." The Healer sounded achingly weary and for a moment, Sam wondered if he'd made a mistake wandering over. It was obvious that the archangel wasn't okay, that meant that he should probably not be bothered. It wasn't that hard to figure out what had probably happened. Raphael had already told Sam that he was worried he wouldn't be able to deliver Heylel's baby. Either he had been able to do it, or he hadn't been able to, which could have had something to do with the new woman. Though not why she looked remarkably familiar.
"Do you need anything?" Sam asked instead.
"I don't need anything," the archangel answered. "But if you'd like to sit, I'd welcome the company."
Sam sat. He was bone achingly exhausted, but he had no idea whether or not he would actually be able to sleep. Not with the memories of the nightmares still so close to the surface.
They sat in silence for a few minutes and then the woman returned. "Hello," she said shyly, standing almost directly in front of Sam.
That voice.
"Sam, this is our Aunt Amara."
Sam reached out to shake her hand, looking up to make eye contact with her.
Sam was frozen. It was a cold and dark abyss. There was only fear that the one he was closest to was hurting and that there was nothing he would be able to do about it.
The cold hands on his wrists shook the vision from his sight, leaving him nauseous and trembling. With Gabriel's mate bond, he was incapable of feeling entirely alone, but the emotion behind the daymare almost overwhelmed it.
"You don't need to see my past, Samuel, that is not for you." She was not chastising him, and the warmth of her tone was surprising, but welcome.
Her past? Sam was still not sure who she was, other than that Raphael had called her Aunt Amara, let alone why it was her past that had featured in his nightmares lately. How did she even know what his vision had been of?
"Here Sam, hold Talia for a minute." Before Sam could object, the newborn was more or less dropped into his lap. It was sheer luck she ended up in his arms and not on the floor.
Sam froze, waiting for Talia to scream her displeasure. What right did he have to hold such a pure and beautiful creature?
Talia didn't scream. She blinked several times, a confused expression on her face, but she did not scream. Her eyes screwed shut as though she were about to scream, but then she yawned. Less than a minute later she was asleep. The only difference Sam could make out between her and a typical newborn were her creamy yellow wings.
Sam was too exhausted for this. He wanted to believe that Gabriel was infallible and therefore he should trust that his mate knew what he was doing in handing him Talia, but it wasn't so easy. Not when he'd spent so much of his life believing he deserved absolutely nothing.
No one tried to take the sleeping baby from Sam and he would have protested if anyone had tried. Leaning against Raphael, he felt cozy and the positive feeling was welcome. So welcome that he didn't try to fight the sleep that came with the soft chill of Amara's hands.
Sam had slept and slept. At some point, Amara had insisted Raphael move so she could hold the sleeping human and while Raphael hadn't needed to move, sitting motionless for more than five hours wasn't exactly comfortable.
Sam had now been asleep for more than 9 hours and Gabriel was looking pretty worried, so Raphael approached.
"Why is Sam so tired?" Raphael asked. He had seen the large bags under Sam's eyes but this seemed unusual. "Have the two of you been too busy to sleep?"
Gabriel sighed. He knew what his brother was alluding to, but he also knew that Raphael didn't really want any insight into their (pretty nonexistent) sex life. "The nightmares have been bad enough that he's only been getting about two or three hours of sleep each night. But I'm glad to see he's getting more sleep now. Even if I am a little worried about it."
"If the return of his visions has spiked his anxiety, it's possible the increase in nightmares is related. Has he mentioned whether or not he wants me to try to make a medication for him?"
Gabriel shook his head. "It's not a decision to be made lightly and I don't want to pressure him into anything. With everything that's been going on, it's possible that he forgot your offer."
"He had seemed positively inclined towards my finding a medication for him, but he could have changed his mind." Raphael looked back towards Gabriel's sleeping mate. "Perhaps this is a sign that his nightmares will start decreasing." But even as he said it, he knew that wasn't going to be the case.
More like the calm before the storm.
The baby was gone when Sam awoke and he couldn't help the feeling of disappointment that followed the momentary panic before finding that the baby was safe in the arms of one of the other archangels.
Sam swallowed. He didn't have any right to feel disappointment. The baby wasn't his . And yet, it stung mildly, and he regretted having fallen asleep in the first place.
"Sam."
He yanked his gaze away from Talia and Heylel to find that Gabriel was crouching next to him. "Talia woke up and was about to start crying because she was hungry so Heylel took her back before she could wake you. Rafa and I agreed that you needed to sleep, and you did."
Sam yawned. What was he supposed to say to that? The rest of the disappointment shifted into shame. Clearly he didn't deserve their kindness.
"Sam, do you think you can eat something?" Raphael was no longer sitting on the other side of him, but had walked back over.
"I'm not hungry."
"You slept for 16 hours, Sam," Gabriel said. "Do you think you can try to drink some of this tomato soup for me?"
Sam felt nauseous, but he relented because he was a little thirsty. The first few swallows didn't go down well, but they did stimulate his appetite enough to eat the entire bowl of soup and both halves of grilled cheese sandwich.
He wasn't sure they actually made him feel better though.
Almost as soon as he had pushed aside the tray, Amara placed Talia back in his lap. The fledgling was awake and cooed happily at him.
Gabriel sat cross-legged in front of Sam with their knees brushing. "We can stay as long as you'd like, or we can leave when you're ready."
Sam glanced to where Sami was playing with Aziraphale and Samael. "Has Samandriel gotten to meet the new baby yet?"
"Raphael introduced him after he woke up from his nap."
"We could babysit him on Earth again for awhile," Sam suggested.
"It's sweet of you to offer," Raphael said, walking up behind Sam. "But it looks like he's having fun over there right now. You and my brother should go have some nice alone time instead."
"Okay." Sam brushed Talia's shoulder gently, then passed her to Raphael. "Gabriel? We can go now, if you're ready." It wasn't that he really wanted to go, but while he knew that Raphael or any of the other archangels would never suggest that he was ever unwelcome in Heaven, he still felt as though Raphael had just invited him to leave and he wasn't going to decline, even if he wanted to stay.
"We don't have to go," Gabriel said quietly, a reminder that he had a choice.
But Sam shook his head. He was finally feeling less lethargic and Raphael's suggestion felt like a good one. He had been missing quality alone time with Gabriel.
Gabriel leaned against his sleeping mate and pressed his nose against the top of Sam's head. The lavender scent from the shampoo Dean had left was subtle and pleasant. He just hoped it helped.
With a gentle kiss to Sam's head, the archangel shifted back onto the pile of pillows he and Sam had been reclining on. All the bedding was Sam's mating presents, grace infused pillows and blankets from all the other archangels.
They spoiled the humans. Sam and Dean both. And his mate deserved it. Deserved the motherfucking world.
He glanced at the stapled packet in his hand. It didn't have a title written on it, but he knew what it was. It had been left on the bedside table with the shampoo, obviously by Dean, while he and Sam had been visiting Heaven.
Sam had been more wide awake and energetic and horny when they'd come back than he'd been in awhile, but it hadn't been a surprise when he'd fallen asleep in the bath following several rounds of lovemaking.
Gabriel wished that it was not so difficult for Sam to relax, but he understood. Even so, now that Sam was asleep, he read the packet.
The Care and Keeping of your Samoose, he thought fondly, though those words were scribbled nowhere. The title fit, though, as the packet was exactly that.
Dean had written pages and pages on Sam's habits. Favorite foods, favorite songs, stories of the kind of trouble he'd gotten into as a kid.
There was an entire section on various methods once used to get an insomniac Sam to sleep.
As well as a detailed account of every sickness Sam had ever had. And several pages clearly hacked from Stanford detailing Sam's diagnosed mental health problems and subsequent prescription medications.
Gabriel was shocked because this here was the clearest thing he could have ever received from the older Winchester that suggested Dean Winchester trusted him with his baby brother. Containing information that Gabriel knew Sam hadn't given Dean before.
Needless to say, Gabriel read the whole document and then reread it a second time, annotating it as he did so. He loved Sam, and knew that Dean had had far too much responsibility as a child when it came to taking care of Sammy. So the least he could do to repay Dean was to make use of the decades worth of information collected, especially if there was something he could use to help Sam now .
Gabriel had barely put his pens down when Sam started screaming in his sleep.
"Sam," he whispered quietly, reaching for his mate. He wasn't going to shake Sam with any vigor but he would try to ground him.
When Sam turned 11, he started suffering night terrors. It didn't take long for them to stop, but sometimes driving around the block soothed him when nothing else would. In retrospect, given the frequency and severity of the demon blood visions, I wonder if there was some connection.
If Sam hadn't already been suffering nightmares, then this level of intensity had been reached following the consummated mate bond which had… Reawakened the psychic powers.
"Sam," Gabriel repeated. "Please wake up."
Sam screamed again but it was interrupted by his back arching and his eyes popping open.
Gabriel kissed Sam. Sam's eyes were glazed and confused, haunted and terrified, and there was nothing he wanted more than to be able to fix everything, but he couldn't. So he kissed his mate and focussed on filling the mate bond between them with his love and support for Sam.
"Gabriel?" Sam choked when Gabriel had to pull back to keep from suffocating the love of his immortal life.
"I love you," Gabriel whispered, pressing a kiss to Sam's forehead. "You know that, right?"
"Mhmm." He snuggled into Gabriel's side.
"I know this is scary, but can you show me the dream?" Gabriel didn't want to ask, didn't want to have to ask for anything that could or would hurt Sam, but he had to know.
And Sam did.
It was a shivering and unseeing thing with no name with which to call itself, in a space smaller than itself, which it had to be inside because otherwise Bad Things happened, and its back ached.
"Sam… have all your nightmares been about this creature?"
"I don't know. It's always dark, but there's a variance to it. Like sometimes it feels as though the dark the person is in is vast beyond space and time while other times it's like this. And sometimes… sometimes it seems like I'm seeing something in multiple ages."
"I'm not sure what Aunt Amara meant about you seeing her past, but that wasn't a human child, Sam. And that wasn't her as a kid."
"No?"
"That was a fledgling , Sam."