AN: Warning for 2 slight mentions of vomit in this chapter.
The archangels had no idea what to do.
Samandriel was still crying after a nightmare had woken him up and Heylel was holding a restless Talia, who they assumed had been disturbed by Sami's terror and unease.
Raphael's fledgling was mostly curled up in Michael's lap, though he also had Raphael's shirt clenched in his fist.
"Sweetheart," Raphael whispered as he rubbed Sami's back. "Can you tell us about your nightmare?"
"Injured fledgling," Sami whimpered, sobbing harder. "Cold and dark and all alone. They're injured and squeezed in a space too small and there's so much pain ."
This was not the first they'd heard of this nightmare from the fledgling, but they'd hoped that with Talia's birth, they'd be able to convince Sami more easily that it was just a nightmare, because that's all it was, wasn't it?
Sam was completely wrung out, and yet still too wired for sleep. Not that Gabriel could blame him, but as he brushed the hair off Sam's sweat covered brow, he really wished there was something that he could do to help.
As it stood, Gabriel was reclining on the bed and Sam was curled next to him, his head in his archangel's lap. There was some rock music playing quietly, but it was the only background noise.
"I'm sorry," Sam whined at some point. "You probably wanted to bond with your niece and here you are, stuck keeping me company."
"Sam, I'm exactly where I want to be," Gabriel promised. "Although, you did seem to sleep pretty well in Heaven yesterday. Would you want to spend some more time in the big nest? You're welcome whenever you want."
"Not right now." Sam shivered, so Gabriel folded some of the blankets over Sam an extra time to provide more warmth.
An idea struck the archangel, and he couldn't believe he hadn't tried it yet. Slowly, he manifested his wings on the physical plane. "Will you help me groom my wings?" They didn't really need it because his siblings were sickeningly tactile and once he'd molted, his feathers had never ever looked better.
But he didn't want Sam to actually groom them. He wanted to provide his mate with a plausible distraction that should have also provided him some comfort and hopefully with the understanding that he was worth the universe because he didn't just go around showing them to any old person.
"Really? You want me to groom them?"
Gabriel had had no idea that Sam could sound so hopeful and disbelieving at the same time, and yet it didn't surprise him. Instead of answering, he maneuvered a wing so that the tip was mere inches from Sam's fingers. "It's more than okay for you to touch."
Sam was tentative at first, but eventually he sank his fingers into the plumage. Gabriel thought it felt divine and couldn't think of anywhere he'd rather have Sam's fingers, with the possible exception of massaging the oil ducts. But Sam wasn't ready for that yet.
Gabriel showed Sam the proper way to groom an angel's wings, and in under half an hour Sam was asleep. He could tell that it wasn't much deeper than a light doze, but he also knew that they had to take what they could get.
Something was wrong. Gabriel knew that even before the screaming started, though except for the sudden dread pooling in his stomach, he couldn't have explained how or why he knew that.
And then Sam screamed. Except it wasn't like the screaming that came from the rest of the nightmares. Sure, each dream had brought enough terror with it that made each subsequent attempt at falling asleepthat much more difficult but this wasn't a scream of simple bone chilling terror.
The first difference was that Gabriel could make out a word, this time. The word was "No." But Sam wasn't just shouting "no" at the top of his lungs.
No, Sam was screaming in a way that he was never supposed to, but had already done far too many times. It was the scream of one who had lost something they held dear, the sound of one whose heart was being torn to pieces, after everything they had done to try and keep it together. It was a haunting noise, one of ultimate suffering, and one that Gabriel hoped to never hear from his mate ever again.
He'd heard the sound from Sam when he'd killed Dean on that horrible Wednesday at the Mystery Spot. And again when Lilith's Hellhounds had dragged Dean's soul to Hell. He'd made a point of being as far away as he possibly could get, but he'd still heard it. Everyone, had heard it.
There was nothing Gabriel could do to wake Sam, and that wasn't the end of it. The gut-wrenching scream didn't stop . Not until the door slammed open and Dean was halfway across the room.
The screaming stopped then, as Sam's eyes flew open and he threw up on himself.
"We need to go," Jormungandr said, turning on his heel and storming out of the motel room they had been standing in for under a minute and a half.
"But we just got here," Fenrir whined, even as he turned to follow his sibling. "We don't even know what that was all about."
"Whatever that was, trust me when I say it's bad news. Samuel isn't up for company, apology of not."
"I still don't see why you think I should do the apologizing. I'm not the one who changed the alcohol proof."
"Dad deserves an apology, from you . We were all worried after what Kali did, but you insulted Dad's mate before you ever even met him."
"You haven't met him yet either," Fen grumbled. "And what part of that is you 'withholding judgement' or whatever?" He scoffed. "Hypocrite."
Jor stopped moving, sighed, then turned around. "Tell me what you got out of the aura of the room, and I'll tell you why we need to go get Hela and do something ."
Fenrir shrugged. "Dad's worried about Sam. I smelled sleeplessness and terror. That obviously wasn't the first nightmare and it's not going to be the last." He used his fingers as he made each statement like checkmarks on a list. "The omnipresent darkness wasn't great. Was that from picking up on the edges of the nightmare?"
"I understand from the grapevine that Sam's more or less a psychic. Probably more. But it wasn't just a nightmare. It would seem that he's picking up on something like a supernatural child, not unlike how Dad found us but much worse and the nightmares aren't going to stop. Not now."
"You want Hela to track the kid. To what end?"
"Fen, there's a kid out there in so much agony that it's destroying Dad's mate. There doesn't have to be an agenda. Although maybe it would make a good peace offering and Dad won't really ground us for the next millennia?"
"I'm only in because I like a good adventure and maybe Hela will stop it with the dirty looks."
"You're both idiots," Hela said. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, glaring at them. "But I'll help because I like Sam. And even I could hear that scream of ultimate suffering."
There was nothing Dean hated more than seeing his brother like this. The need to vomit had apparently woken Sam up from the worst screaming Dean had ever heard from him, but he was so out of it and more afraid than he'd ever seen his baby brother.
And he had no idea how to help, especially when even Gabriel seemed to be at a loss.
"Did you need something?" Gabriel asked in his direction. He hadn't made any attempt to lower his voice, so it was a testament to how out of it Sam was that he didn't seem to notice it.
"I had a few notes for the packet I left." He fidgeted. Aim him at whatever creature was hurting civilians, he could find a way to kill it. But he had no idea how to deal with this kind of thing. It was almost like the Ghost Sickness all over again, except worse because it was affecting Sam . "You said he slept well in Heaven, right? Maybe… Maybe you should take him back."
The thought of the future terrified him. He knew that Gabriel and his brother were the equivalent of married, for life, and that in all likelihood, they'd return to Heaven, permanently, sooner or later. He and Castiel were close but… He didn't really know where they stood with the rest of the archangels or what that would mean for them and he wasn't ready to think about it yet.
"Sam said he wasn't ready to go back yet and I want to respect that decision," Gabriel said.
"Sammy never agrees to what's best for himself because he's a stubborn little bitch, but if he wasn't like that, he wouldn't be my little brother. Sometimes it seems as though he says no to the things he wants the most in an attempt to punish himself for having desires in the first place." Dean could see Gabriel's hesitance in his eyes, so he pulled the trump card. "Cas said Heylel gave birth to a beautiful little fledgling, and Sam loves kids. He can pass on my congratulations when he's up there, and maybe the soothing atmosphere will be exactly what he needs."
It was hard for Gabriel to refuse Dean's logic, but he didn't want to move Sam when he had very little recognition as to where he was because too many people had tried to force their wills on Sam. "I'll ask Sam again when he's more coherent."
Dean nodded, knowing that was the best answer he'd get. "Oh! Two people dropped by looking for you. I didn't get their names and I think they left."
"They did leave. I know who they are, and it's nothing to worry about. I need to talk to them, but…. Sam's more important."
Once Sam had agreed to return to Heaven, Gabriel flew him back. Sam was still out of it enough that he decided that instead of flying directly into the nest, he should instead fly to the entrance of the building Michael had chosen as belonging to their flock. He hoped that walking around Heaven would help lessen Sam's turmoil.
There was also a feeling of something not quite right coming from the nest, and he wanted to be sure of what it was before subjecting his mate to it, or contributing to it.
"Do you think he would know where to find it?" This line was spoken by Aziraphale as he and Crowley happened to be walking through that hallway right as Gabriel and Sam were walking into it.
"Even if he did, and I'm not saying that he could, we still haven't told anyone about him. Do you really want to tell Mikha or Heylel everything we conveniently forgot about, now ?"
"Not especially. At this point, it'll only become less convenient the longer we haven't told them."
"Haven't told Mikha what?" Gabriel asked. His brothers had just come around the corner so what they saw was Gabriel standing in the hallway with Sam leaning against him.
"Nothing?" Aziraphale tried.
"You're definitely hiding something," Gabriel said. "Someone secret, but you haven't told Mikha or Heylel about him yet, so perhaps someone from Tadfield?" Gabriel considered the two guilty looking archangels. "Are you hiding your fledgling somewhere?"
Aziraphale blushed and stammered something inaudible while shaking his head.
Crowley rolled his eyes. "We don't have a fledgling and we're not hiding them. And we don't want our own children, although I can't wait for Talia to be old enough to steal away and stuff with sugar before giving her back."
"Crowley," Aziraphale scolded.
Sam laughed, though no one else did. It wasn't even that the statement was humorous except he was still so close to the absolute terror in the back of his mind that if he didn't hold on tight to this piece of hilarity, he was going to be back in tears, and that was the last thing he wanted.
Crowley raised an eyebrow, but not at Sam. Rather, the eyebrow was raised in Gabriel's direction.
Gabriel thought he knew why his brother was raising an eyebrow, but he shrugged because even though the comment hadn't been very funny, it was better than anything else Sam could have done.
Crowely stepped forward towards them. He blinked at Gabriel then nodded towards the exit to the building. "Hey, Sam, back in Tadfield I keep plants. They were my hobby, right? So this one time, someone brings me a fucking banana tree. In England. Where did they even get a fucking banana tree ?"
The rest of the story was about as nonsensical and there was no point to it, except Crowley didn't finish telling it until they were all outside and Gabriel had encouraged Sam to lie down in the garden.
"Sam, do you think you'll be okay sitting here with Crowley for a little while? I need to go talk to Michael, but it shouldn't take more than half an hour."
Crowley sat down next to Sam, who leaned over to put his head in Crowley's lap. It was a good position because he could see Gabriel quite clearly and he was so tired that it was hard to keep his head up. "Take all the time you need," Sam said. "I'm not going anywhere, and I'll be just fine."
Gabriel nodded. "Okay." The Messenger turned and walked briskly out of the garden. As soon as he was out of Sam's sight, he sprinted for the big nest. Aziraphale was not far behind.
"Sam's having visions of an injured fledgling trapped somewhere on Earth, and they're getting worse," Gabriel said as soon as he walked into the big nest.
Everyone turned to look at him. Gabriel appreciated that Samandriel and Talia were both sleeping, but this was really important.
"Sami's been having a nightmare that sounds like that, but you're sure it's not just a bad dream?" Raphael asked. He wasn't hopeful because it made too much sense for the fledgling and the hunter to be sharing a vision, but he had to ask.
"Sam's a psychic, sort of. If anyone was having visions about a fledgling in danger, it would be him," Gabriel insisted. This was the only explanation he could think of for Sam's nightmares and it was worth investigating.
"Whose fledgling is missing?" Heylel asked. He was holding Talia and he looked sad. He and Michael had been overjoyed to have a fledgling. How could anyone lose one without them knowing about itt?
"As far as I knew, Talia was the first fledgling born after Sami," Raphael said. "That said, Sami is only still a fledgling now because of what Naomi did to his grace."
"Castiel was raised with the last group of angels, right?" Heylel asked. "Was his aging slowed to prevent anyone from knowing otherwise? Could the locks preventing Sami from growing have been used on someone else?"
"I don't know ." Raphael's hand brushed Samandriel's head. "Azi, did anything you read in Naomi's notes suggest such a thing?"
"Not so explicitly as what she did to Cas, Sami, and you, but I can look again."
"Could someone later have simply hid that they were pregnant?" Michael asked.
"I don't think we'll know what happened until we find the missing fledgling," Gabriel said.
"We'll find them," Michael promised.
Amara was sitting on the floor and had been listening to the conversation without offering her own input. Now, she stood. "Gabriel, can I see Sam? I might be able to track the location of the fledgling through his visions."
"Sure. Sam's in the garden. But you should really ask him first because that sounds kind of invasive and he's been through a lot."
Sam was asleep in the garden when Gabriel and Amara rejoined him and Crowley.
"Any nightmares?" Gabriel asked.
"Just restless sleep."
Amara and Gabriel sat on the other side of Sam and waited. Several hours passed and there were no nightmares.
Sam blinked. He was exhausted, and if possible he was more tired than when they'd first arrived in Heaven. "Gabe?"
"Right here, Sam-a-lam." Gabriel leaned forward so he was clearly in Sam's vision. "Do you remember where we are?"
"The garden?" Sam blinked again. "How did your thing go?"
"It was okay. You remember my Aunt Amara? She was thinking she could track the fledgling in your vision, if you're okay with her trying."
"Really?! Can she try now?!"
"I can see the vision residue so it's possible. But no guarantees. It might take another vision to find it."
They walked back to the big nest. Sam leaned on Gabriel because he had developed a headache and was feeling slightly dizzy.
They walked into the big nest and had barely stepped inside when Sam doubled over, entire body spasming and blood from his nose splattering on the floor.
"Auntie Ama! Auntie Ama! I'm gonna be a brother!"
Sam recognized the space they were standing as the garden in front of the big nest. There was a small person who appeared to be a child about three or four and with him was the woman he recognized as Amara. The teenage appearance was only a little different as he would say that she appeared physically a few years younger. Perhaps 14 instead of 17.
"You're going to be the best big brother ever, Mi." She picked the child up and bounced him on her hip.
"Did you see them?"
"Your younger siblings? No, not yet. Would you like to show me?"
"That way, Auntie Ama!"
The teenager shifted the child up onto her shoulders and then took off running in the given direction, Michael squealing in delight.
Sam wasn't sure whether or not he was supposed to follow but it didn't end up mattering because everything dissolved until he found himself somewhere else.
He was in a room this time, but not one he recognized. Michael was standing on his toes, nose pressed against the glass wall. Amara stood behind him, grinning.
The glass was blocking off another room in the building, and all Sam could see inside it was blinding light. He thought there might be two different lights, but he couldn't pick out he acute differences.
"They're so pretty, Auntie! I can't wait to get to play with them!"
A door Sam couldn't see opened, and someone else stepped into the room. "Michael! What did I tell you! You can't be in here! Amara, get out!"
Michael didn't move away from the glass, but Amara turned around to face the new arrival. She pouted. "We were just admiring your newest creations. "We're not causing any harm."
"I said get out!"
Amara took a step forward, like she would take her leave of the room, but the child didn't so much as turn around. "I wanna watch the babies! I'm gonna be the bestest big brother ever!"
Sam still couldn't see the third person in the room, but he could feel the anger and the hate.
And then He was tugging Michael away from the window by his neck. "What did you say?!"
If His voice had already been a low roar, then this was like a thunderous explosion. One that made Sam's eardrums throb even though he wasn't physically present.
"Auntie Ama said…!"
There was a harsh slap interrupting him and the echo almost seemed to shake the room.
"I don't care what Amara said! What I say goes, and I said no one was allowed in here! Ever !"
Sam saw the next strike before it was made and he wished there was something he could do about it. It felt like being in a room with Dean and John again, except he wasn't a small 4 year old with no way of doing anything.
Except this was 6000 years in the past and if the second slap had come, there was no way for him to stop it.
It never came. It never came because Amara tackled God, forcing him to release his grip on the back of Michael's neck.
"Run," she whispered to the sobbing fledgling archangel, the first of his kind.
"Amara!" He screamed in anger rather than any pain. "I'll kill you!"
"For what? Why would you hit your son, Brother? He did nothing wrong."
"He is mine! Not yours! You have no say in how I raise him, and it is your fault he is disobedient. In fact… I think it's time for you disappear entirely. But I won't kill you, that would be too boring."
The Entity that Sam had once believed to be the Best Higher Power, but no longer, snapped.
"What's happening to him?" Gabriel asked. He and Amara and gotten Sam situated close to the others and where Raphael could get a closer look at the then spasming human.
He wasn't spasming now, but he was disturbingly still and his color was pale. They hadn't been able to staunch the bloody nose, either, so Gabriel was sure that he had seen healthier dead bodies.
"He's having a vision and his nose is bleeding because of the muscle strain. Has he been practicing with the spoon?"
"He hasn't been sleeping because of the nightmares so the spoon exercise more or less never happened." Gabriel didn't blame Sam for that one. It had been a pretty weird instruction.
"Maybe we'll try it when he's feeling better. This isn't a good sleep, it's more like he's unconscious." Raphael glanced at Amara. "Can you tell if it's another vision of the fledgling, and if so, find it?"
Amara shook her head. "It isn't the fledgling. I don't know why he would be, but it feels like he's having another vision of my past."
Gabriel gave her a wry smile. "If anyone can get into places they're not supposed to be, it's Sam."
Michael ran a hand gently against Sam's back. "He feels so worn through. Taut like a string ready to snap, but also one ready to break from the force of friction."
Sam's back arched hard enough that every joint cracked one after the other, and then he was bonelessly lying down again.
"Well that was weird," Raphael commented idly, but he didn't look worried about it.
It was cold and dark, in a vast emptiness that did not surprise Sam because he had been here before. This was not the vision of the injured fledgling because this was Her prison.
"You should not be here."
It was hard to turn around in an infinite space of no gravity, but somehow Sam managed. "I'm not really here, how can you see me?"
"Time has never existed in this place. It was my home for eons before it was ever to be my prison."
"So what is it?" Sam asked, confused. "Where are we?"
"There in an entity outside the chaos containing Heaven, Hell, and Earth called The Empty. Like Michael and the other archangels are the creations of my Brother, The Empty was mine."
"Didn't Gabriel say something about angels who died going to The Empty?" Sam couldn't remember what Gabriel's exact words had been, but he was sure they had been important. If he wasn't really here, how could his head hurt so much?
"I created The Empty before my Brother ever thought about creating Michael. But I mentioned that time does not exist here, and it's not linear. I know who you are because we have met, though chronologically Earth hasn't been created yet. My Brother hurt all of the children he ever created and I wanted to give them a place to rest where no one could ever bother them again, so I did."
"And this prison is also outside the chaos?" Sam asked.
"This is where I was when I created The Empty. I can't currently leave because He has imprisoned me here. But I will escape, someday." The Entity smiled, or at least, Sam thought she was smiling. "But that much I think you already know."
"If you never escape, I'll never meet you. But we have met." Sam blinked. "But you already knew that."
Even though it was too dark for Sam to see anything, he thought there was a hint of mirth in her eyes.
"My Brother is believed by your kind to be all powerful and all knowing. We are having this discussion in my prison, and trust me when I say that I remember meeting you before. It's time for you to go because this is not what you're looking for. But I hope you find it."
"The fledgling!" Sam shouted, remembering even though he felt disconnected and like something was about to change again. "I have to find them!"
"The sudden cry of an injured fledgling was why I finally left my prison. But I didn't expect it to not be Michael. It's one thing to know what a future might hold and quite another to find yourself suddenly in the middle of it."
"Can you find the fledgling?"
"I wish that I could, Samuel. But his presence is blocked to me."
Sam swallowed. That was bad. "If you can't find him, how will I?"
"The how doesn't matter. You need to leave now, but listen to me. I trust that you will find the fledgling."
The darkness that he could see through became pixelated, and piece by piece, lights were added.
Everything hurt. His face was both wet and sticky. It felt like his nose was broken and his eardrums had ruptured. And that was even before the migraine that felt like it encompassed his entire forehead and eye sockets.
"'Lo?" he croaked. "Am I dead?" He was probably in too much pain to be dead, unless he was being tortured in Hell, but that was probably worse than this.
"He's awake!" someone shouted loudly enough that it made the bells in his ears ring even louder and he flinched away from the noise sharply enough that his head cracked loudly into the floor, and he couldn't help the resulting scream.
Except it wasn't really a scream because he was pretty sure that he had never been so hoarse in his life.
"You're very much alive, Sam."
The whisper was unusual for that voice, but it was not possible for Sam to mistake it. He croaked something that was supposed to be something joyous and he reached out where the voice had come from. He grabbed at his mate's shirt and tugged . "Come here . "
Gabriel yielded and a second later he was tucked carefully under Sam's entire body.
"Not that I don't appreciate the love, but why are you using me as a full body pillow?"
"Shhhh," Sam snarled, then buried his head into Gabriel's body. It was too bright and loud and he couldn't think.
He knew he was missing something important. The connection between God, Amara, the fledgling she couldn't find, and the archangels. But it was evading what few mental processes weren't focussed on the overwhelming agony. And on top of that, he felt so lightheaded.
"Sam, I know you're uncomfortable, but can you drink this for me? You've lost a lot of blood and I'm sure your head is in agony."
Sam opened his mouth because he respected the healer and he appreciated that it was a straw that entered his mouth because there was no way he could have used a cup without spilling it on himself.
The liquid that came through the straw tasted like good water and even though it didn't instantly relieve any of his aches and pains, it did help his parched throat.
Sam turned his head away when the liquid was gone. He was so fucking worn out and he just wanted to sleep while at the same time wanting to never sleep again and he couldn't have it both ways. Why was he such a mess, and why did Gabriel love him despite how much of a mess he obviously was?
Sam didn't fall asleep after waking from the vision, but Gabriel hadn't expected him to either. Raphael's mixture had included a gentle painkiller and some nutrients, but no sleeping aids and none of their ideas for an anti anxiety medication because those had to be things Sam decided to try for himself if and when he was ready.
What Gabriel didn't understand was why Sam had more or less laid down on top of him, and trying to read his mind had resulted in no clues because it was completely blank.
The only thing Gabriel had managed to see in Sam's head was that he was in overwhelming agony and that it hurt to think.
Gabriel supposed that was probably because Sam had spent three full days in the vision and his psychic muscles weren't ready for anything like that.
Michael had wanted to stay and keep an eye on his friend, but Raphael had convinced him that it would be better if he went with Heylel and the fledglings outside. Resting in the big nest would be good for Sam, there would always be someone there and awake to keep him company, but at least until he was a little more present, it would be good for the fledglings to have some outside time.
Six hours after Sam had jolted from the nest Sam was still curled up on top of Gabriel, no closer to sleep than he had been to start with.
"Sweetheart," Gabriel whispered, "Does your head hurt less at all?"
Sam mumbled something that wasn't hopeful about the state of things.
"Can you give him any more painkiller?" Gabriel asked quietly, looking over at Raphael. He didn't like his mate being in so much pain, not at all.
Raphael shook his head. "Not yet. They're not exactly designed for humans and I don't want to overload his system. A normal dose for you or me wouldn't do anything to our heads, but I just can't risk that for Sam."
"I know." Gabriel did know. Very well, in fact, why they were being so careful. But he couldn't stand seeing his mate in so much pain. Not if there was anything at all he could do to help.
"I'll give him more in an hour."
It was another six hours before Sam was coherent enough to get off of Gabriel, but even then he didn't do more than roll off him and then try to bury his face in Gabriel's side.
"Sam, do you think you can eat some food for me?" Raphael was holding a tray with a bowl of chicken noodle soup on it.
"I'm not hungry," Sam grumbled without moving his head.
"Sam, you haven't eaten in quite awhile," Gabriel said. "Are you sure you won't try a few sips at least?"
"I will puke," Gabriel's mate growled. There was some silence as he thought. "But maybe a little bit of water wouldn't hurt?"
Raphael waved his hand, placing the bottle with a straw from earlier near Sam. Instead of having medicated fluids in it, there was just water.
"Where's Mikha?" Sam asked suddenly when the water was gone. He blearily looked around the room as he sought one of the two archangels not present in the room.