Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sue Thomas FBEye but I wish I did.
Set after Simon Says S3E07
Feels strange, I've only ever really written for CSI, this was a big challenge for me.
Enjoy.
Safety
The coffee in her hand felt like a lifeline. With an extra shot and less milk she hoped this would be the something to perk her up and keep her awake.
She hadn't slept well for weeks. She was lucky if she managed four hours a night, even luckier if they were nightmare free.
She kept meaning to talk to Jack, to see about being referred to the in house counselor for a few more weeks. But every time she tried to talk about it she recoiled. And the longer she left it...
During the day, at work she was fine, for the most part. Her mind was kept occupied and she didn't think about it.
It was when she was alone or trying to sleep.
The images.
She could remember every last detail.
His mouth; his thin lips.
His words, "Remember, I make the Rules."
"I win."
His greasy scent.
The pain when her head cracked off the hard floor.
The weight of his body pinning her down.
The feel of his calloused hands brushing against her skin as he wrapped the scarf around her neck...
She started at a touch to her wrist. A gasp rose up in her throat and she inhaled sharply.
"You OK?" Jack signed to her.
She looked down at her arm where Jack softly touched her with his left hand.
It took a few moments to pull herself, somewhat together.
Looking around she was thankful that only Jack seemed to notice that she'd zoned out. The rest of the team were hovering around Tara's desk and reading the handouts.
She blinked and focused on what he'd just asked her, thinking about the movement of his fingers.
She stared up at him, his dark eyes burning in to her.
"Are you OK?" He signed again, his mouth also moving to ask the question.
She swallowed and tried to smile.
"Fine." she mouthed back to him.
Narrowing his eyes he didn't take his eyes off hers until she looked away and started to busy herself flipping through the file Tara handed out earlier.
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It was just gone midnight on Saturday morning and it didn't look like sleep would be happening anytime soon for Sue.
She groaned and threw the quilt off of her body, startling Levi who jumped up and nudged her cheek with his wet nose.
"It's OK buddy." she whispered and scratched his head, hoping that she caught his bark before he woke up Lucy.
She rose from the bed and started to pull on some clothes. Pulling her creamy blond hair up into a ponytail, she slipped her feet into her trainers and called softly to Levi as she walked out of her bedroom.
After scribbling a quick note for Lucy, in case she woke up, she grabbed Levi's lead and headed out the door, Levi trotting along next to her.
She loved walking around Georgetown at night. The area was pretty safe, there wasn't much trouble, and with the bars and restaurants open until late there were always a lot of people around. Walking through the park she hoped that it would calm her down, maybe even relax her so that she could catch some sleep. The street lamps showered the path with an orange glow and the white fairy lights, which were strung through the trees twinkled along with the rhythm of the nightlife behind her and the chirps and cheeps of the wildlife hidden in the park.
But her mind wouldn't shut off.
She was nauseous with lack of sleep.
No matter how hard she tried she just couldn't stop reliving that night.
It was when he came from the bathroom to talk to her that she realised who he was.
That mouth.
It's always the mouth she remembers.
"Remember, I make the rules."
It was him.
The killer.
He'd already tormented her throughout the case.
Now he was there to finish the job.
She tried to run past him but he blocked her way.
"I win."
He was holding tightly to her arms but she tore away from him and turned to run around the sofa towards the door.
He leapt over the sofa and caught her by the waist then threw her back over it.
Her head cracked off the hard floor. For a split second she was stunned but then she fought him as he jumped on top of her, straddling her to keep her pinned to the floor.
She screamed as she pushed and clawed at him, trying in vain to free herself.
But he was too strong for her.
He lifted her head, which was throbbing to point of double vision as he tried to tie a scarf around her neck.
She thought of Levi, knowing he was safe but going crazy barking. She could feel the vibrations of his bark and of his body jumping at the bedroom door trying to get to her.
She was losing the fight.
Her head hurt.
Her chest was heaving.
She couldn't breathe.
She thought she might pass out before he had time to finish the job.
But he suddenly stopped moving. Everything went still.
And he fell away from her.
Her eyes followed him as he fell to the ground.
Her chest burned as air rushed into her lungs.
But then she looked away and Jack was standing there. His face white and disbelieving. His gun aiming in her direction, freshly fired. His eyes flitted between her and her attacker. He didn't know who to go to first.
But he holstered his gun and kept his eyes on the killer as he made his way over to her.
He was there as she managed to sit up.
"Are you OK?" he whispered.
She focused on his mouth; his words.
For a long moment she just looked at him. He removed the scarf from around her neck and helped her to her feet.
She could see the fear in his eyes, they were dark; almost black with terror. And she knew what he was thinking. If he was only one minute later...
She couldn't talk.
Why was he back so soon? How did he know?
And she knew he could read her questions..
She was shaking.
"I forgot my phone." he spoke quietly. He look as numb as she felt.
He looked devastated
But then she was pulled into his arms.
Her head hurt.
He'd saved her life.
She could feel his ragged breathing against her and she lifted her arms around his neck.
And then she broke down as she clung to him.
She shook her head to try to get rid of the memory and looked at her watch.
1 am.
Looking around she realised that she was now standing outside of Jacks apartment building.
It was late. He'd be asleep. It'd been a busy week and next week would be just as tiring. The job they have planned will be dangerous and intense.
But instead of walking away she found herself walking in to the building and up the stairs to his apartment. She didn't know why she was there.
She was too scared to ask him for help, after all these weeks.
She felt so alone. Like nobody in her unit could possibly understand what she was feeling. But deep down she knew that they would understand. They would help her however they could. She wouldn't be alone in getting through the trauma. Each and every one of them would be there for her. Even Myles. If only she could talk about it. If only she could ask for help.
Do it! She told herself. Knock on his door. Talk to him. He will listen. He will help you. You know he cares.
Without thinking, she tapped softly on the door and moved back to lean against the wall.
Levi sat patiently at her feet, eagerly awaiting to see Jack.
He must've been asleep as it took longer than usual for him to open the door. And when he did his hair was ruffled, wearing shorts and just pulling the t-shirt down over his head.
She caught a glimpse of his toned torso and swallowed.
"Sue?" he asked. She could see him squinting as his eyes adjusted to the hallway lights. "Is eveything OK?" She could see him trying to sign but in his sleepy state he was all fingers and thumbs. "Has something happened?"
"Jack, I am so sorry. I don't know why..." stammered Sue. " I mean... I didn't mean to come here. I was walking Levi and... I'm sorry. I'll go. Sorry to have woken you." she whispered and started to walk away.
Before Jack could begin to fathom out what had just happened she was down the corridor with Levi trotting along beside her.
Chasing after her, he caught her up as she was about to enter the stairwell. He reached for her arm, startling her. She let out a whimper as she turned around and Jack could see that she was scared, but it was from more than him startling her.
"Sue?" he whispered and signed at the same time. "I'm sorry."
He didn't release her arm and he could feel the cold emanating from her body. She was only wearing a light shirt, no wonder she was cold. And he wondered how long she had been outside.
Gently he tugged at her arm. "Come on. Come inside."
She hesitated, swallowing down the wave of nausea she suddenly felt. She knew she was going to have to talk about it.
Nodding her head slightly she allowed Jack to lead her back to his apartment and she could feel his hand protectively against her lower back.
In the apartment she was unsure what to do; how to proceed. She felt awkward.
Scared.
Jack was watching her, his heart breaking at the sight of her.
He knew why she was there but he didn't want to push the subject, knowing she would talk in her own time.
"Can I get you a drink?" he asked her.
She swallowed and nodded her head.
Sue leaned against the kitchen cabinets, her fingers scratching the top of Levi's head and she watched Jack making her a hot chocolate.
He handed it to her, their fingers brushing and then picked up his drink and lead her across to the sofa.
Jack sat on the chair whilst Sue claimed the sofa, Levi at her feet.
She wasn't looking him, she was staring into her mug.
He waved to grab her attention and nodded towards the drink. "I hope it's OK, I don't usually make hot chocolate. I'm more of a coffee or beer drinker."
His mouth twitched with a small smile.
She didn't return it.
"I... I don't know why I'm here." she whispered.
For a long moment he watched her again.
"I think I do." he replied softly .
She looked down at the mug again and lifts it slowly to her mouth. The warm chocolate warming her instantly.
She just wanted to sleep.
Without the nightmares.
She wanted to move past it.
She wanted to feel safe again.
For a long time they were silent. She could feel Jack's eyes on her, watching her every moment of silence. Thinking.
Hurting.
She knew that he knew what the problem was. Throughout the last few weeks he'd tried to mention it a few times, only for his questions; his worry, to be brushed aside.
Finishing her drink in a long mouthful she abruptly stands up, Levi instantly up with her.
Jack quickly arose from the chair and moved a little closer to her.
"I should go." she said, again not looking at Jack.
He moved closer and softly took her hand in his and his thumb started to rub in circles across the back of her hand.
"Sue..." he whispered as he reached up and delicately lifted her chin so that she was looking at him. "Don't go."
After another long moment she collapsed back on to the sofa and Levi again settled by her feet.
She looked worn out.
Broken.
Scared.
Innocent.
Jack took the seat beside her, their hands still entwined.
"Talk to me, Sue. Please."
He never took his eyes from her, even as she looked away. Time seemed to stretch on for hours. Her eyes were misty and barely open but he could see speckles of green in them, the soft lamp light of the room catching the flecks.
"I'm so tired, Jack." she whispered eventually.
He squeezed her hand, encouraging her to continue.
"Every time I close my eyes... I can see him. I can smell him. I can feel him on top of me to the point where I find it hard to breathe.."
"Why..."
She cut him off. "I lied to you, Jack." she cried, her voice barely louder than a breath. "I'm not... I'm not OK."
Tears started to fall from her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. She leaned forward on the sofa, pulled her hand from his and covered her face.
He knew she was trying to find the courage to keep talking. He knew what she so desperately wanted to say. Lucy had already told him.
He lifted his hand to her shoulder, wanting to keep contact with her.
She turned her face towards him. Her eyes red and full. Tired.
"Almost every night I'm waking up Lucy with my screams and cries. The nightmares. But they're different. They aren't just of what happened. They're of what could have happened. What he could've done to me. " she said softly. "What you would've found when you returned..."
His mouth had dropped open slightly. He was unsure what to say. He knew she's been reliving that day but he had no idea how bad the nightmares were for her and he wondered if Lucy was aware of the content too.
Jack swallowed hard. "You should've told me."
"I tried. I really did." she cried. "But I... I feel so ashamed, Jack. I'm alive. I'm safe and well. He's no longer a threat. What is there to be scared of? But I am. I'm scared. I'm scared of closing my eyes. Of seeing his face. I can still feel the brush of his hand against my skin as he used the scarf and... I... I just want to forget, Jack."
Moving so that he could hold her easily he eased her into his arms.
And then she cried. Her body was shaking as she finally allowed the tears fall.
All Jack could do was hold her through it.
"Sshh... It's OK." he soothed, knowing that she couldn't hear him but it felt right to do so.
Cries racked her delicate frame.
He held her close, his hand soothingly rubbing down her back as she cried against his shoulder.
Minutes passed.
"It's OK.~ he whispered again. "I've got you. Sshh..."
He kissed her head and stroked her hair as he tried to soothe and calm her.
Jack could feel his own eyes mist over at her words; at what could've happened that afternoon.
Jack, Bobby and Lucy headed out for takeout and left Sue in the apartment with the plumber; she didn't fancy the walk. They wouldn't be long, just nipped out to grab their first decent meal in a few days. They'd only take a few steps down the street when Jack felt uneasy. He'd left his phone on the counter. He told Bobby and Lucy to carry on and that'd he catch up shortly, then he turned back towards the building.
As he headed towards the apartment door he could hear Levi barking.
Something was wrong.
A chill raced down his spine and he just knew. Then he heard her scream. He pulled his weapon from the holster at his right hip and cautiously opened the door to the apartment. He wasn't heard upon entering. Levi was going crazy barking. His heart stopped as he realised what was happening. There on floor he could see the killer on top of Sue, keeping her pinned down as he wrapped a scarf around her neck. He didn't have to think. He didn't make his presence known. He could've tackled him and won but instead he fired his gun.
For a split second everything went silent.
Then Levi barked again.
The attacker fell away from Sue, with blood seeping through the back of his overalls.
Jack watched him fall away without an ounce of regret.
He would've killed her...
His eyes moved from him to Sue and back again. Holstering his gun he moved towards her.
"You OK?" he asked panicked.
His heart broke at the look on her face. Her eyes shocked and fear ridden.
Her head bobbed very slightly.
He removed the scarf from her neck and helped her up.
For a moment they just stared at one another in disbelief.
His brain went into overdrive. A thousand thoughts hit him all at once.
How did he find her?
They'd almost lost her.
He'd almost lost her.
If he was only one minute later...
He could read the questions in her eyes. Why was he back so soon? How did he know?
He shook his head a little. Swallowed.
"I forgot my phone." he said, his voice hoarse with emotion.
Then he pulled her shaking body into his arms.
He could feel her thinking, her mind running wildly.
But then she lifted her arms and clung to him as she cried.
Jack shook his head clear. They'd been entwined together for a long time. Sue was no longer crying but she seemed content where she was. He waited a while longer then gently eased her away from his chest to look at her.
She swallowed.
"I'm sorry." she whispered. " I should go. It's late and I'm tired."
She made no attempt to move.
"I might finally get some sleep." she smiles.
Jack looked at her sadly.
He didn't want her to be alone.
He wanted to ease her pain.
"It's after 3am." he said, looking at the clock.
She unlaced herself from his hold and stood up.
He looked on helplessly as she readied herself to leave, with Levi standing to attention beside her.
He didn't want her to go.
"Thank you for listening." she said. "I'll see you on Monday."
She headed towards the door
He quickly stood and followed her. By the door he touched her arm to get her attention.
"Don't go." he whispered. "Stay here." he signed to her.
He wanted her to stay so that he could keep an eye on her.
"I..."
"It's late. Stay here. You can have my bed, I'll take the sofa. We can talk in the morning and I'll make some some calls. We'll get you through this, Sue. Please stay." he pleaded.
She swallowed and nodded her head.
He breathed a sigh of relief, smiled and then lead her through to his bedroom. Jack pulled out a t-shirt for her to sleep in and he showed her where everything was. In the bathroom he set out a new toothbrush and clean towel for her and then lead her back to the bedroom.
She sat on the bed and idly stroked the top of Levi's head.
She looked up at Jack as he was about to leave the room, a pillow and spare blanket in his arms.
He was already watching her. His eyes crinkled with worry.
"Thank you." she signed to him.
"Try to sleep." He nodded, a sad smile on his lips, and left her alone.
Sue sat there for a while longer taking in the simple bedroom. The bed was unmade, but she had woken him up a few hours ago. The bedding was soft and clean, a warm chocolate brown colour with golden threaded stripes from top to bottom. She smiled, the room was very Jack, simple but elegant.
She changed in to the gray t-shirt which Jack had left out for her and leaving her bottoms on she crawled under the quilt. His scent lingered on the bedding, cedar and citrus. She breathed it in deeply and after a few minutes, strangely she felt herself drifting in to slumber.
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Now it was Jack who couldn't sleep.
Not that the sofa wasn't comfortable, it was, it was Sue. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He didn't realise how much the attack had affected her. She had a few weeks with the allocated unit counselor and she said she was fine. Lucy gave him a heads up weeks ago that Sue was struggling with nighmares but whenever he tried to talk to her she brushed him off. He couldn't force her to talk and he couldn't tell her that Lucy had told him about her struggles. He had to get her back in to counseling.
He looked at the clock and sighed.
4:50am.
Groaning, he got up and made his way to the kitchen to set up the coffee machine. He might as well get up for the day.
Just as he was scooping coffee in to the machine an ear piercing scream rattled through his apartment.
"Sue." he whispered.
He dropped the coffee and ran to the bedroom.
Pushing through the bedroom door he froze. Sue was writhing about on the bed, kicking and pushing at an invisible threat.
"Nooo..." she shouted.
Her face was contorted with fear.
Pain ripped through him at the sight of her. He didn't know what to do.
He could see her breathing heavily.
Should he try to wake her or let her work through it?
"No, please stop."
Tears ran down her cheeks.
Her hand now gripping the pillow under hear head, turning her knuckles white.
Cautiously Jack moved over to the bed and sat on the edge. Sue was strewn across the middle, the quilt now in a heap along the bottom.
He watched her for a longtime.
She was slowing down, her movements now slight jerks.
She mumbled occasionally but he's not sure that he could make out what she was saying.
Slowly he reached out and touched her forehead with the back of his fingers. She was clammy.
"Stop..." she choked out, her arms falling beside her as if in defeat.
"Sue." he whispered, again knowing that she couldn't hear him but he didn't know what else to do.
She was still moaning but seemed to be a lot calmer than she was a few minutes earlier.
"Sue, wake up. You're OK." he soothed, his hand now slowly running up and down her arm.
Her face was pale, her features still tight with panic.
Another touch to her arm startled her awake. Her eyes so full of fear, Jack had never known such fear existed.
She screamed.
"Stop." she cried. "Please stop."
Flailing about on the bed she scratched and pushed at Jack, her nails digging in to his biceps. He winced at the sting.
"Sue, it's Jack..." he said, looking into her eyes.
For the hundredth time that night he felt his heart shatter as there was no recognition on her face.
All she could see was her attacker.
All she could feel was his weight on top of her.
He stood and moved away from bed hoping space would help her. He didn't for a second take his eyes away from her face.
She looked exhausted.
She was breathing hard.
Still not fully awake her eyes darted around the room .
It took a minute or two for her to come around and she managed to push herself back up against the headboard.
Her eyes were full of alarm as she took in Jack standing away from the bed, realisation dawning on her.
"Jack?" came her hoarse voice.
"I'm here. You're safe."
Although it was Sue's nightmare he'd never been more terrified. The sight of her struggling against an invisible danger; her cries, have shaken him to his core.
She took a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart.
She could read the questions in his eyes when she looked at him.
She swallowed.
"I'm fine.." she breathed.
He moved back towards the bed slowly, nodding his head.
"Are they always this bad?" he asked softly.
She thought for a moment.
"Not always. The more tired I am the worse they are."
"When did you last have a good sleep, Sue?"
He sat on the edge of the bed.
He clenched his hand in to a fist to stop himself reaching out to her; he didn't want to scare her.
Again, she had to think about it.
"It was a few nights after it happened. My nightmares woke up Lucy, they were similar to this one. She slept with me for the rest of that night."
Jack nodded.
"We'll get you back in to counseling on Monday morning." he told her.
She nodded.
"Thank you."
He finally reached for her hand.
"Ill sleep with you." he whispered. A pained boyish smile tugged at his mouth.
He never in a million years thought it would happen this way.
Surprisingly she nodded her head, too exhausted to argue.
Standing, he collected the duvet and shook it out over the bed. He watched as Sue slid down so that her head was laying on the pillow. Making himself comfortable he reached out to turn off the lamp, which she'd never turned off earlier.
"Jack," she whispered. "Please will you leave it on."
He swallowed.
"Sure." he replied.
He didn't move for a long time, unsure whether he should hold her or leave her.
Eventually, he couldn't help himself. He didn't mean to do it, but he reached for her and eased her in to his arms.
He breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't recoil.
She re-positioned herself so that her head was almost laying again his chest.
She could feel his heart beating through his t-shirt, the vibrations tingling her cheek.
His scent assaulted her nose as she breathed deeply; cedar and citrus. She smiled slightly, her lips brushing against his chest. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. She thought to herself.
Jack consistently stroked her hair, which was now loose, the hair tie lost somewhere in the bed, and she found herself drifting off to sleep. For a little while she fought against it, not wanting to face her nightmares again, but feeling Jack's touch seemed to be calming her.
For a split second she opened her eyes when she felt a rumble against her ear, as if Jack had spoken. But feeling his arms tighten slightly around her she closed her eyes again.
For the first time in weeks she felt calm.
Relaxed.
She felt Safe.
And then she slept deeply.
THE END.
If this gets read, Thank you. I know it's an old show but I am currently obsessed with it.