Trigger Warning! Skip to bottom of chapter to read specifics.

"We need to talk."

Clarke swallowed and handed his phone back to him.

"Madi shouldn't have told you any of that. I was just trying to explain what happened... everything that happened and why we were fighting at dinner. I didn't realise she would -"

"Clarke."

The single use of her name, halted her stumbling explanation in it's tracks.

She looked up at Bellamy from beneath her lashes and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear.

Bellamy paced for a minute, before sitting down on the couch, lent forwards slightly with his elbows on his knees and rubbing his hands together with slight agitation.

"You know I never blamed you right? Not for Gina or Jasper or any of them. Tell me you know that?"

Clarke all but collapsed down onto the armchair behind her.

"I know" she managed to get out. "But I did."

"Clarke-"

"I knew how much you cared about Jasper. Like he was your brother. And G... Gina. I knew how much you loved her and... and I couldn't saved her. I failed her... and you."

Bellamy blinked.

"Is that why you left?"

"Partly."

Bellamy let out a humourless laugh, sounding so choked up that he almost sounded angry.

"I think you owe me more than 'partly' Clarke. You left. In the middle of the night, with no explanation to any of us and then we didn't hear from you for three years. Do better than 'partly'."

Clarke swallowed and looked at her hands.

"Feeling like I let you down. Losing our friends... my dad... and..."

She couldn't.

She came so close but she couldn't get the words out.

"Madi said you were sick, after?"

Clarke closed her eyes briefly and then said

"In a way. Yeah."

"Was it serious?"

Clarke bit her lip and looked away from him.

"I can't" her voice was cracking, hoarse and full of suppressed emotion "Bellamy... I can't... I haven't told... even my mom doesn't..."

Bellamy moved, crossing the room in three strides and crouching in front of Clarke.

"You can't keep shit inside like that. I did it for years and it almost cost me everything. Don't do that to yourself."

Seemingly without thinking, Bellamy put his hand on Clarke's knee.

"I... I had a miscarriage."

Silence.

Bellamy's mouth was slack with horror.

Clarke's bottom lip was trembling and she was digging her nails so hard into the palms of her hands that he was worried she was going to draw blood. He grabbed her hands and unfurled them, running his thumb over the crescent shaped indentations in her skin.

"God Clarke I... I didn't know. Why wouldn't you tell me? Or Raven or-"

"I only told the father when I found out I was pregnant. And he found out when I lost it - her." Clarke's voice broke. "They... they called him... when I ended up in hospital. He... he blamed me... said if I had listened to him... stopped working straight away, if I hadn't gone to Mount Weather to help... he said it was my fault. That I killed my baby."

Bellamy grit his teeth.

"That is bullshit Clarke. You have to know that. Whoever this asshole is or was he was taking crap. It wasn't your fault. Hey, hey look at me" he tilted her face so that she was looking at him. Clarke was biting her lip again and on instinct Bellamy reached out and used his thumb to smooth out the skin from between her teeth. He smiled up at her, with his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"It wasn't your fault." he all but whispered and they both knew he wasn't just talking about what the asshole had said.

Clarke somehow hiccuped a laugh through her tears. But she didn't know why she laughed. She felt like doing anything but.

"I'm sorry" she said "I'm sorry I didn't save Gina. I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I didn't tell you why. But we'd just lost everyone in Mount Weather. Octavia had just been discharged, you were trying to deal with getting her treatment for her PTSD and sorting out Gina's funeral. So I ran. And I left you. And I'm sorry."

"Hey" Bellamy tucked a loose lock of hair behind Clarke's ear "It doesn't matter. Not anymore. You're back. You're back, with us and you've got a bad ass kid-"

They both laughed at that.

"A bad ass kid who is clearly way smarter than both of us. You're home Clarke. You don't have to run anymore."

With a hiccup that seemed like a combination of a laugh and a sob Clarke threw her arms around Bellamy with a hug that nearly threw him onto his back.

They just stayed that way for a while.

Both on their knees in Clarke's living room, their arms around each other.

Clarke's head rested against Bellamy's shoulder and Bellamy pressed his lips to the top of her head.

It was a simple gesture that said it all.

They were okay now.

They were okay.

"Nomon!"

Madi came running out of the school gates, a piece of paper clutched in her hand.

"Look what I drew!"

Clarke looked at the picture being brandished in her face.

It was a picture of her family.

Clarke and Madi in the middle (though Clarke seemed to have been given freckles she didn't posses in real life).

Around the edge was Abby and Kane, Bellamy and Raven. Octavia and Lincoln were in the top left corner, Monty and Harper to the right and Lula and Muprhy to the left. Jackson, Miller and Emori completed the picture.

Damn.

If she hadn't spent a good few hours that morning crying her eyes out, Clarke may have just broken down right there.

With a deep breath she smiled at Madi and gave her a hug.

"It's wonderful Madi."

They walked through the parking lot hand in hand until Madi spotted a familiar figure.

"Bellamy!"

She looked up at Clarke who nodded, and Madi let go of her hand and ran towards the eldest Blake sibling, jumping up and letting him catch her in his arms.

Glancing over her shoulder at Clarke, Madi leaned in and whispered conspiratorially in Bellamy's ear.

"Did you get my text?!"

"Yes he got your text Madi Lexa Griffin." Clarke said grimly and Bellamy put Madi back on the ground, where she scrapped the toe of her boot through the gravel, not meeting her mother's eyes.

"It's rude to discuss private conversations isn't it Madi?" Clarke said with her eyebrows raised.

Bellamy was struggling to keep a straight face.

"Yes nomon."

"And it's rude to go through people's phones isn't it Madi?"

"Yes nomon."

Clarke crouched down and looked up at Madi.

"So you should consider yourself very lucky that your devious little plan worked, shouldn't you?" Clarke said with a smile.

Madi frowned then looked at both Clarke and Bellamy with a hopeful grin on her face.

"Friends again?"

Bellamy chuckled and ruffled Madi's hair.

"Yeah kid. All thanks to you."

They got into the truck.

Then Madi made both Bellamy and Clarke choke when she said brightly

"So when are you getting married?"

TRIGGER WARNING - TALK ABOUT LOSS OF CHILD/MISCARRIAGE.

Phew that was hard to write.

I hope everyone's okay.

Let me know what you think, hearing from you inspires me.

More soon.

Geronimo xx