Now Alec did speak up.

"That's really not the best choice, at the moment, is it?"

Of course, being inside Peter's head like he was, the ancient sorcerer already knew what the reply to that was going to be. Peter didn't disappoint and didn't make him wait.

"I don't care."

At the moment, he didn't, either. He was worn down; hurt, tired and angry. His hand was still killing him, really, despite the fact that he'd been in bandages forever, it seemed. He was used to healing quickly, and he didn't realize that he was healing quickly, because it still hurt. Hurt so much, all the time, and worried the people around him so much that they were always asking him how it felt – because they had to see in his expression or something that it still bothering him. Hurt because he missed May. He loved Tony and Pepper – more and more every day, it seemed – but seeing May again had ripped off the barely healed scab over that hurt so quickly that he was still unable to breath sometimes at just how much he missed her when he allowed himself to think about it.

Tired. Tired of being tired. He was active and used to being able to move quickly and easily, and now he couldn't. Had to do everything one-handed, which was awkward and uncomfortable, and he hated being so graceless when he was usually so coordinated. Tired of being the reason everyone looked so worried all the time. He knew (he was just ignoring it for the moment) that they worried because they loved him. He had had that discussion with Natasha a long time ago, how you had to care about something to be able to worry about it – but Peter was angry as well as tired, and that was enough to make him not care about any of that at that particular moment.

And he was angry. Angry with MJ for being mad at him. Angry with himself for letting her make him mad. Angry at the universe for being dumb enough to make Thanos in the first place. If Thanos hadn't come, Peter would have been allowed to start school with his friends. Would have been able to go to his school's homecoming. Wouldn't have had to be forced into an impossible decision that no one else would ever find themselves forced to make – but Peter shouldn't have been surprised at all that ot was something that he'd have had to make.

Just another example of how screwed up his world was.

He was definitely not in a positive state of mind as he entered the garage and headed for his Pontiac, but he was upset enough that – like he'd told Alec – he didn't care. He just needed to get away. Needed to feel the power of the engine around him and find someplace to stop and simmer – away from the universe that always seemed to have it out for him.

OOOOOOO

" Karen is advising that Peter is leaving the compound."

Tony had only been in their quarters for half an hour or so before Friday alerted him. He frowned, glancing at Pepper, who had earphones in as she was preparing for her meetings the next day. He stood, and the motion alerted her – or maybe it was just an awareness of what was always going on around her. Something she was pretty good at, he knew.

"What's up?" she asked, taking out her headphones and looking over at him.

"Friday? Did he portal?"

Tony was already calculating just how far away from the compound Stephen had to be; they were probably just about to the city by then – depending how fast Natasha was driving. Distance didn't mean all that much with the sorcerer supreme, but the magician couldn't just pop in if he was in the middle of a lot of people who would notice his departure. But he knew Strange wouldn't hesitate if he called for help.

Now Friday was watching Peter, rather than needing Karen to relay.

"He's in the garage."

"Who is?" Pepper asked, standing because Tony looked alarmed. "Peter?"

"He can't drive. Not with one hand. He knows that."

"But-"

"He's gone."

She frowned, more confused than concerned. Tony was right; Peter had to know that he couldn't drive one-handed.

"What is he thinking?"

"I'll go find out," her husband told her. "Be right back."

OOOOOOO

Driving one-handed was ridiculous. Peter found that out before he even started. Distracted and angry, he had trouble even getting behind the wheel with the grace that he usually had. He didn't bother to put the top down as he normally would have for such a lovely day – the temperature was wasted on the boy as he put the key in the ignition with the wrong hand. He reached for the seatbelt and gave up on even that when the first couple of tugs failed to get it into position to be fastened. Then he had to try to shift the car into gear with the wrong hand, too.

Which just made him more frustrated and upset.

He finally managed, slamming his foot down on the accelerator. The motion and a scathing curse the only release that he was able to get for the anger that was still coursing through him, still. The powerful engine of the Pontiac responded, immediately, and the car fish-tailed as it roared out of the garage and then down the service road.

"Shit."

Peter fumed as he regained control of the car, feeling a little of his anger fade as he wondered for the first time if he should have just portalled himself somewhere, instead. He was probably doing exactly what MJ had just accused him of doing; being reckless. Not to be a hero, though, he corrected, angrily. He wasn't trying to be a hero. He'd never wanted to be a hero, he-

A flash of tan from somewhere to his left was the only warning he had. No. His spider senses were still working and had been screaming at him, but Peter was so worked up that he hadn't been paying attention to what was going on on the inside.

"Watch out!" Alec warned, also too late.

The alien sorcerer didn't have spider senses and he couldn't use Peter's, but he felt what the boy was ignoring and gave warning when he realized what was happening.

The deer was one of a dozen that stayed near the compound year round. Peter had seen them a million times, both in the trees and in the field grazing in the early morning. He'd even had a few jump out in front of him while driving, but had easily avoided the dangers of actually hitting one of them because of his reflexes and inner warnings coming into play.

Distracted and angry, lost in his own riled emotions – and limited to one hand on the wheel, he didn't have as much reaction time as he would have, normally. He swore and then swerved at the same time the big buck did. Peter felt a thud against the driver's side of the Pontiac, and the car fish-tailed, again. He was a good driver; taught by Tony, Natasha and Happy, but with the handicap of only having the one hand on the wheel, he didn't have a chance.

He lost control of the car with his over correction and almost managed to straighten out. Then a tree loomed large in front of him and the car came to a sudden stop when the front hit the trunk with a glancing impact that knocked Peter into the steering wheel with a jarring shock of pain that ran through his injured hand all the way up the same arm and a blow to the head that left him reeling.

OOOOOO

A/N: Sorry about how long this took to get out. the holidays are like that, sometimes - and I had to decide how I wanted to proceed, of course. Hope you all are having a good holiday, too!