Tell Me How To Fix You

Chapter 41

By: The Duchess of Arendelle

AN: LISTEN TO ME! MAJOR MAJOR TRIGGERS AHEAD. DOMESTIC ABUSE. MENTIONS OF RAPE. OH YEAH, IT GET'S THAT DARK.

"Elsa I… I want us to be together too. I care about you, so much." Anna took her hand and brought it to Elsa's face. Gently cupping her cheek, she turned the blonde's face towards her. Elsa still avoided her gaze.

"Elsa, look at me." Anna pleaded. Elsa shook her head

"No. We don't need to have this talk. I understand-" Anna quickly cut her off with a chaste kiss on soft lips. Pulling away, she brought her other hand to the blonde's face.

"No Elsa, you don't understand… I… I need you in my life. Before you… Elsa before you I was lost. I was a completely different person. I don't think you understand that I need you more than you think you need me…" Anna paused and turned her head. It was time to get some things off of her chest.

"I've been so busy trying to force you to open up to me, that I've barely told you anything about my past." She turned back to face the blonde.

"I don't even know how to start." She told Elsa as tears gathered in her eyes.

"It's okay Anna. You don't have to-"

"Yes I do have to!" Anna cut in loudly. Elsa gasped in shock at the outburst. Anna grabbed her head and quietly apologized.

"I'm sorry for yelling… But Elsa, we can't just continue to push our problems and our past to the back. We can't have a real relationship like that. We can't keep hiding behind these facades." Anna took in a deep breath and stared Elsa straight in the eye.

"When I was 16 I met this guy in high school. His name was Aleksander. Everyone called him Aleck. He was a senior. Strong, fast, athletic, gorgeously handsome, perfect golden hair, stormy blue eyes; star quarterback of the football team. You know, the typical pig headed jock type. The whole town adored him. Every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him. And one day, he walks up to me while I was at my locker and out of nowhere asks me out on a date. He said he'd always watched me from a far and had just got up the courage to ask me out. Me. The resident weirdo. The one that dared dream of leaving that soul sucking town and making something of herself. He asks me out and of course I say yes. I never questioned why, I was just so excited that he was talking to me. Someone that everyone looked up to wanted to take me of all people out."

"And I thought he was so nice Elsa. He got the other kids to stop bullying me. He would walk me to class, hold my books, take me out on dates. Once he even skipped practice to bring me some soup when I was out sick. His couch benched him for two games, but he told me he didn't care. He said I mattered more to him than some stupid game. He made me feel like a princess." Anna paused for a moment, completely lost in the memory.

"He treated me so well… until he didn't." the redhead stared off into space as Elsa listened with rapt attention.

"We were about 3 months into our relationship when he started to change. He was more aggressive, more hostile, more… forceful. He would call me every 5 minutes asking me where I was, who I was with. He'd… he'd started nagging me about sleeping with him. He told me if I really loved him like I said I did I'd have sex with him. And when I'd refuse he'd go into a rage. Accusing me of cheating on me. Calling me whores and sluts. Telling me that I was nothing, that I was lucky to have him. That I should be grateful someone like him would even bother with someone like me. And then it just kept getting worst. There were fewer I love yous and more harsh words. Gentle caresses would turn into hard slaps… He told me not to tell anyone. Said who would believe me anyway?" Anna's voice was completely void of any emotion. She told the story like she was reading from an instruction manual. Elsa grabbed the redhead's hand and squeezed it tightly. It scared her how calm the usually expressive woman was.

"And I didn't tell anyone. Like he said, who would believe me? I became an expert on covering up the bruises. I became quieter. I'd jump when people touched me, or got too close. I distanced myself from the small amount of friends I did have. I practically stopped talking to Rapunzel all together. She asked questions that I couldn't give answers to. It was the most distant we'd ever been. I felt alone. Aleck made me feel so useless, but also like I was fortunate to have him. Like he could do much better, but he'd chosen me. Like he was the only one who truly cared for me. It's so hard to explain, even now..." A tear involuntarily fell from the redhead's eye.

"Things went on like that for 4 more months. He walked with me on his arm down the crowded hallways. Girls would glare blazing hot daggers into me. Wondering how I'd gotten so lucky. And all the while I'd think to myself, 'You can have him! Please take him!'"

"We'd formed a routine in our relationship. He'd invite me out. We'd go on a date. He would be so nice and sweet and loving. Pulling my chair out, taking me on walks, giving me his jacket, telling me how beautiful and special I was. I would go over to his house, greet his clueless mother, and go up the stairs to his room. We'd watch a movies on his bed, cuddle, kiss. And then he'd try to take it further. But I'd tell him no. I wasn't ready. And that's when he'd turn cold. He'd tell me how worthless I was. How I was being a tease. Then he'd slap me. Rough me up a bit. And 20 minutes later he'd go right back to being sweet. Apologizing to me over and over as I wiped at a bloody lip, or prodded a swollen black eye. Telling me how he was just frustrated and how he promised it would never happen again. Then he'd tear up and hold me in his arms, telling me it was okay if I wasn't ready yet. That he was such a good boyfriend he was willing to wait." Anna scoffed at the memory and bitterly wiped away the fallen tears.

"And then one day he'd forced me to go to this big party with him. It was the last party before his senior graduation. There were copious amounts of alcohol there and Aleck must have consumed at least half of the stash. He was openly flirting with other girls, showing off in front of his friends, and just completely making a fool of himself. I sat in the corner though most of the party, counting down the seconds until we could leave. I'd never liked being around a lot of loud drunken people. I know, pretty hypocritical for me to say given the situation I'm currently in." she said with a rueful smile.

"So eventually this guy from my English Lit class comes and sits beside me. We start making small talk, and giving our opinions on our favorite authors and their works. And suddenly I'm starting to actually enjoy myself. The guy, Jason, he says something funny and I laugh. Then out of nowhere Aleck comes over and starts arguing with the guy. I try to calm him down but he just shoves me away and keeps yelling at Jason, accusing him of trying to, 'Steal his property.' At those words, him saying that I was his property, it made something snap in me. And I run. I run up the stairs, and into the last bedroom down the hall. Miraculously it's empty. I hide in that room and I think. I think about myself. I think about Aleck. I think about our relationship. I think about the things he says and does to me. I think and cry and think some more. Who knows how much time passed with me sitting on some stranger's bed crying." Anna pauses for a long time. She had still been speaking in a monotone, but by now her breathing had increased. Something in her eyes changed to fear and Elsa wished she could do something to take away the pain. The sadness. The fear.

The redhead still hadn't spoken and Elsa's beginning to think she's not going to. Then she lets out a shaky breath and forces the next words out of her mouth.

"The next thing I know, I hear a door open then close. The sound of it locking seemed to be louder than any other sound, even more than the pulsating music playing down stairs. And then there's scorching hot breath on the back of my neck. I grimace because it reeks of cheap beer. And I know its Aleck. I don't even have to turn around to see. I smelled the cologne that I bought him for his birthday, back when we were still all smiles and laughs. My suspicions were confirmed when he drunkenly whispers in my ear. He apologized for making a scene. He said he just didn't want to lose me. He told me that it was my fault in the first place. I shouldn't be talking to other guys."

"And then he- he wraps his arms around my waste and begins kissing my neck from behind. I told him to stop but he just ignored me. He kept moving his hands down and I told him to get off of me. I snatched away from him but he grabbed my arm. He pulled me back against him and I yelled at him to get away from me... That I don't want this anymore. I don't want him anymore. And I don't love him. I tell him he doesn't love me either. That he just wants a quiet little punching bag to take his frustrations and shortcomings out on. I tell him directly to his face that I'm dumping him. And then he completely loses it. He slapped me. He grabbed me by my shoulders and started to shake me. He was yelling in my face, telling me how I needed him. How nobody else wanted me. How he's put up with me for this long and he deserves to get something out of it. He looked so… wild. Like he'd finally snapped."

"Then he- he- he throws me on the bed. And he climbs on top of me. And he's so heavy I can barely breathe. He told me that- that I was only saying that stuff to him to provoke him. That this is what I wanted and he was going to give it to me. And then he unzips his pants and… and… and… oh God…" Anna finally breaks down in tears. It was too much. She swore that she would never waste another second of her life crying over that asshole again. That she'd moved past that and she was stronger now. But the wound felt just as fresh now as it did back then. Elsa grabs her, cradling the redhead in her arms. It's the first time she's ever seen the strong, enigmatic woman look so… broken. And Elsa's heart breaks. It shatters into a million pieces at the thought of anyone hurting the woman she loved most in the world.

Elsa lays the two of them back on her bed and she's completely engulfs the redhead in an embrace. Anna is holding on to the blonde like her life depended on it, arms wrapped in a death grip around her waist. Elsa found that she could care less about the fact Anna was touching her. She could give two shits if the redhead's tears were soaking through her shirt. And she would be damned if she didn't take care of her. She wasn't letting Anna go no matter what. She'd fight for the redhead to stay with her. She'd convince Anna that they belong together. She'd remind her everyday how beautiful, and talented, and amazing, and loving, and wonderful she was.

And she'd mean every bit of it.

TBC. TBC. TBC.

AN: So this chapter was already ten times longer than it was supposed to be. But I couldn't stop writing! You guys wanted an Anna backstory, and I thought, now's as good a time as any. Plus, you can't tell a back story in 500 words, which was my goal for each update. Anyway, I know this chapter was kind of depressing, and I hope I haven't shaken you guys up too much. This isn't the end of Anna's back story though. There's more and I'll be picking back up on some of it next chapter. Oh and don't worry guys, I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN OLAF AT ALL. That will come up soon, but I just want you to know, I haven't forgotten him! I hope you guys enjoyed the update.

Thanks for the feedback you guys, it keeps me writing knowing I'm on the right track with the story, and hearing your ideas. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, don't be afraid to ask.

Goodbye lovelies!