One day, Captain Marvel joined the Avengers.
"Yay!" said Captain Marvel. She flew all the way over to the Avengers Tower.
When she arrived, she saw Nick Fury standing there.
"You're late!" he said.
"I am?" she asked.
"YES!" he said. "You were supposed to arrive in the morning, and now it's night!"
Captain Marvel looked out the window at the darkening sky. "Oh…"
"Ah, a beautiful lady!" Tony said. "Let me show you to your room!"
"NO!" said Captain Marvel. "I'm a strong, independent, woman and I can do it myself!"
She stomped off and opened a random door.
"Ooh! This one is purple! I like it!" she said.
She put all of her stuff into the purple room, even though it obviously didn't belong to her.
Then, she picked up book, put on some glasses, and began reading it.
It was at that exact moment that Captain America wanted to take all of the Avengers out for dinner.
Bruce Banner went to go get his glasses, and found Captain Marvel in his room.
He saw Captain Marvel and screamed.
"WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"
"Huh? I'm Ca-" Captain Marvel said, getting cut off by Bruce yelling even more loudly.
"Karen, huh?! Well, guess what? Stupid people like you aren't allowed here, Karen!" said Bruce.
"What are you yelling about, Banner Nanner?" Captain America asked.
"There is a stranger in my room!" Bruce said.
"Well, let's go and see," said Captain America. The two walked towards Bruce's room.
Captain Marvel took the glasses off and left the room, bumping into Captain America and Bruce.
"Oh. Hey, Carol," said Bruce. "Wanna go out for dinner with us?"
"Sure… as long as I don't have to sit next to any men!" Captain Marvel said.
Half an hour later, the Avengers had a table at their favorite restaurant.
Captain Marvel put the glasses back on again.
Black Widow screamed. "Ahhh! There's a stranger sitting next to me!"
"I'm not a stranger! I'm Captain Marvel!" Captain Marvel said.
"Captain Marvel doesn't wear glasses!" Black Widow said.
"That's the stranger who was in my room earlier!" Bruce said.
"Strangers aren't allowed to eat with us!" Captain America said. "Go away!"
"Waah! You're so mean!" Captain Marvel ran out of the restaurant, crying.
"Now… has anyone seen Captain Marvel?" Captain America asked.
After eating, the Avengers found Captain Marvel sitting on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant, still crying.
"There you are! Why are you crying? What happened?" Captain America asked.
"YOU happened, that's what!" Captain Marvel said.
"I don't get it… what do you mean?" Captain America asked.
"You said that I was a stranger, and that I couldn't eat with you!" Captain Marvel said.
"I never said that… did I, Tony?" Captain America asked.
"No. She must be hallucinating," said Tony.
"Oh, no! She must be unwell! Captain Marvel, you need a checkup from Doctor Rogers!"
"NOOOO!" Captain Marvel said.
The next day, she peeked around a curtain that had been set up in the tower overnight. "Doctor Rogers? I'm here…"
"Okay! Let's do all of your exams!" said Doctor Rogers, who was obviously just Captain America wearing a lab coat.
Meanwhile, Black Widow snooped around in Captain Marvel's backpack and found the pair of glasses from the day before.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do you have there, Miss Romanoff?" Nick Fury asked.
"Umm… nothing sir!" Black Widow said.
"Really? Because it looks like you have a pair of glasses in your hand!" Nick Fury said.
"Oh, these things?" Black Widow said, laughing nervously.
"Yes, those things! Why do you have them? You aren't having trouble seeing, are you?" Nick Fury asked.
"Nope! I actually found these in Carol's backpack!" said Black Widow.
"Oh? I guess she can't be an Avenger, then," said Nick Fury.
"What? Why not, sir?" Black Widow asked.
"BECAUSE! YOU NEED TO HAVE PERFECT VISION TO BE AN AVENGER!" Nick Fury yelled.
"Did somebody call me?" Vision asked.
"NO!" Nick Fury and Black Widow yelled.
"Oh, okay. I'll just go hang out with my dads," Vision said.
"Let me have those glasses. I will be confronting her about them," said Nick Fury.
"Yes, sir," said Black Widow, handing the glasses to Nick Fury.
Nick Fury walked through the curtain. "CAPTAIN?!"
"Yes, sir?" both Captains asked.
"What is the meaning of this?" Nick Fury asked, holding up the glasses.
"Those aren't mine! As a super soldier, I have super eyesight!" Captain America said.
Captain Marvel started crying. "They're mine! I'm so sorry…"
"Well, that's too bad," said Nick Fury. "You can't be an Avenger if you have glasses."
"But why do you have them, Carol?" Captain America asked. "You passed all of your tests, including the vision test. You have perfect eyesight!
"Oh,… I just thought that they would make look smart," said Captain Marvel.
"Well, they don't," said Captain America.
"Oh, okay," said Captain Marvel.
"And you will NOT be wearing these in the future," said Nick Fury, breaking the glasses in half.
Captain Marvel cried a single tear.
That night, at 3:00 AM, she suddenly remembered that cheese existed.
"I want cheese!" she said.
"NO! It's 3:00 AM! Go to sleep!" Black Widow said.
"But I haven't had cheese in years!" Captain Marvel whined.
Black Widow sighed. "Fine. Go ask the other Avengers if they have any cheese."
Captain Marvel asked Bruce if he had any cheese, but he just yelled at her.
She asked Tony, but he only had beer.
"What about you?" Captain Marvel asked Pepper Potts.
"I have vegan cheese. Would you like some?" Pepper said.
"NO!" said Captain Marvel. "Vegan cheese isn't even real cheese!"
"WAAH! Why are you so mean?" Pepper said, running off to cry and listen to Adele.
"Captain Marvel! How dare you make my beautiful, perfect, and precious girlfriend cry?" Tony asked.
"Hey! It's not my fault that she's so moody! Steve, do you have any REAL cheese?" Captain Marvel said.
"I have some real cheese. It's American cheese!" Steve said. "Go, go, Captain America! USA! USA! USA!"
"Hmmm… no," said Captain Marvel. I'm craving something a little fancier than that."
"I have cheese," said The Wasp.
"I think you're too bland to have the kind of cheese that I want," said Captain Marvel. "DOES NOBODY AROUND HERE HAVE GOOD CHEESE?!"
Captain Marvel ran outside in anger and kicked a trashcan.
The trash can tipped over, revealing a raccoon that was inside. The raccoon was holding a chunk of cheese.
"Cheese? CHEESE?!" Captain Marvel growled, foaming at the mouth.
The raccoon got scared, dropped the cheese, and ran off.
Captain Marvel picked up the cheese and noticed that it had mold on it.
"Ew! This cheese is all moldy!"
She threw it down and then proceeded to broke into a secret base using WOMAN POWER, or something like that. I really don't know.
Phil Coulson was in the secret base for some reason.
"Do you have any cheese?" Captain Marvel asked.
"Who are you, and how did you get here?" Coulson asked.
"I'm Captain Marvel, and I used my hands. Now, do you have cheese or not?"
"I might have cheese," said Coulson. "If I give you some, will you leave?"
"Yes! I pwomise!" Captain Marvel said in a babyish voice, and then giggled.
Coulson reached into his pocket and pulled out a slice of brie cheese.
"Yay! It's perfect" said Captain Marvel. "Wait! Can I make grilled cheese out of this?"
"Sure! Let me guide you to the kitchen!" said Coulso.
"Wow! I didn't expect there to be kitchen here!" Captain Marvel said.
After the delicious grilled cheese sandwich was made, the two decided to share it.
Each of them grabbed one end as hard as they could. Unfortunately, Captain Marvel was much stronger than Coulson (again, this was probably due to Woman Power), so she ended up tearing his arm off by accident.
"Oopsies!" she said.
The end.