Tell Me How To Fix You
Chapter 50
By: The Duchess of Arendelle
AN: Hey you guys! I hope you had a great Thanksgiving/break. Time to get back to the ol' grind. Bleh… school. :( I have Midterms coming up SOON, BUT all my classes are ending around Dec 20, so I'll have basically an entire month free to update and such. So I'm excited about that. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Sorry for any and all mistakes!
Anna had been on the floor with Elsa approaching on a full hour now. They both sat in silence, bar the occasional sniffle Elsa would emit. Anna still had her arms wrapped securely around the blonde. She needed to know what made Elsa so upset. She needed to know what the problem was.
But she would wait until Elsa spoke. However long it took, she would wait. Being in a relationship with the blonde had taught her the true meaning of patience.
Elsa's face was nuzzled gently in the crook of Anna's neck. She could feel the little puffs of breath hit her skin. The redhead could see Elsa out of the corner of her eye. Blonde strands that were once pushed back now fell over her face. Without thinking, the redhead reached a hand up and gently brushed the strands out of the way. Her hand remained on Elsa's face, and the blonde looked up.
Her eyes were rimmed a faint red and a light blush covered her face. Elsa's lips were slightly parted as the two continued to stare at each other. Anna blushed and fidgeted a little.
'What the hell is wrong with me? Elsa is obviously hurting and here I am staring at her lips. I'm like, total scum.' Anna mentally scolded herself. The redhead forced her eyes away from Elsa's mouth, fixing it instead on a random corner of the room instead. Her gaze returned to the blonde seconds later when she felt a hand intertwine in her own. Elsa was staring down at their hands, not saying a word.
Another ten minutes passed when finally Elsa let out a shuddering breath. She looked up at Anna and the redhead gave her a soft smile. Elsa desperately wanted to, but she couldn't find it in herself to return the gesture. Instead, she squeezed Anna's hand tighter and breathed in, readying herself to speak.
"It- it's Olaf…" The blonde whispered, voice hoarse from the crying. Anna moved in closer to hear her better.
"What about Olaf?" she asked, voice low.
"It- he- The doctor called me today. About Olaf. He said he couldn't get ahold of Kai or Gerda, so he called me of all people. He called me and he-" Elsa cut herself off, swallowing past the lump in her throat as she recalled the doctor's words. Anna's brow furrowed, concern crossing her face.
"What did he say Elsa? What did he say about Olaf?" the redhead's voice remained steady even as her mind was a raging storm of thoughts and concern. She had to play it cool. She had to remain calm for the both of them.
Tears sprung to Elsa's eyes again as she repeated the doctor's words to Anna. After the blonde's explanation, Anna had to bite down hard on the inside of her lip to stop herself from crying. There was no way they could lose him. Not Olaf.
"And I- I just keep imagining him lying there, helplessly. And I- I just- I've never been there for him. I've never been a good sister to him. And now I'm going to lose him." the blonde sobbed, letting the tears fall. Ann brought Elsa close to comfort her.
"That's not true. That's not true at all Elsa. You are a wonderful sister. Even before- even before I'd met you, back when I first moved here, Olaf would talk about you all the time. He would talk about how great you were. He talked about how much he loved you. He would talk about how kind and smart and beautiful you were. About how you took care of each other. He- he's the reason I wanted to meet you."
Elsa just shook her head, breaking Anna's embrace to stand up and leave the pristine kitchen.
"You don't understand, you just don't understand! This is all my fault. Just like then. Just like when we were kids. This is all my fault." she sobbed out, walking towards the bathroom as Anna quickly followed behind her. The blonde went into the room, turning the water on grabbing soap to violently wash her hands.
"Elsa what are you doing?" Anna asked quietly, slowly approaching the blonde as you would a wounded animal.
"I- my hands are dirty, I need to wash them… I need-" Elsa cut herself off as she focused on washing her hands. Anna saw the flesh begin to turn a bright red as the scalding water mixed with Elsa's manic scrubbing started taking their toll on the abused skin. Elsa acted as if she didn't even notice the pain as she continued washing.
Anna quickly turned the water off and brought Elsa into a swift embrace when she tried to turn it back on.
"Anna let me go... please… need to- it's my fault, just… please…" Elsa cried, as she tried to break Anna's hold. The redhead just held on tighter, refusing to let Elsa go. Eventually the blonde stopped struggling and just sunk into the embrace.
The sound of the blonde's sobs and the dripping of the facet were the only sounds that filled the room. After she calmed down enough, Anna took Elsa's face in her hands, forcing the blonde to look her in the eyes. Elsa's usual ice blue eyes were now a stormy blue, filled with sorrow and self detestation.
"Listen to me Elsa. This is not your fault. This is nobodies fault. Olaf will be fine. The doctors are doing everything they can to help him. You just have to stay strong, if not for yourself then for Olaf. He needs you to believe he'll make it, okay? He needs you to believe in him." she told the blonde, laying her forehead against Elsa's.
Elsa said nothing, but nodded her head. She was right. Anna was right. She needed to be strong. For Olaf if nothing else. She still felt that she was never the good sister Olaf saw her as. Never the one her deserved. The very least she could do was to not break down when he needed her the most.
Anna then gently took the blonde's hand. The flesh was still tinted red and her usually cool skin felt like touching a flame in comparison. The redhead lead them into Elsa's room. They sat on the blonde's bed and again Anna patiently waited for Elsa to speak first. When she finally did, the blonde refused to make eye contact as she whispered.
"I'm sorry I'm like this… It must be... a huge burden to have to put up with me…" Elsa said lowly, embarrassed about the way she acted. She thought she was passed this. She thought she was better than this now that she had Anna. Now that she was in love. Isn't that what all the fairytales teach you? True love automatically fixes all your problems right? Looking at her sore hands she found that to be a lie. All the kisses and sweet words in the world wouldn't fix her.
Elsa startled when she felt soft lips brush her cheek. Turning to look at the redhead, she saw the girl slightly smiling. Anna carefully rubbed her thumb on the back of the blonde's hand as she spoke.
"Do you realize, everyday I wake up the first thing I think about is you, and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep is you? When I'm out, I'm constantly thinking, 'I wonder what Elsa is doing right now?' I am completely taken by you, it's kind of unsettling actually. You should be concerned with how in love I am with you." Anna said thoughtfully. This made Elsa let out a soft laugh and a smile. The first Anna had seen since she'd gotten there. Anna beamed.
"Seriously Elsa, if you think you're a burden to me, then let me clue you in. I love you and everything about you. I love happy Elsa, sad Elsa, angry Elsa, stubborn Elsa, silly Elsa…" she then paused and leaned in closer. "... and OCD Elsa. I love everything about you Elsa. Nothing is going to change that. You're not a burden, you never have been and never will be." she leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on the blonde's lips. Elsa returned it without even thinking.
Kisses and sweet words might not fix her, but it felt like a start.
AN: TaDa! Hope you enjoyed this mix of angst and fluff chapter! Moving on to the moving on! I'll be posting a poll on my profile soon. I've narrowed the therapist roll down to four characters, and I'd love it if you all would check back in and vote. This is going to be a pretty big roll. I don't want to "cast" someone you all might find to be an annoying or an unlikable or unlikely character. So make sure to swing back around Tues or Wed. to cast your vote!
Oh and announcement:
I'll be going back and revising ALL of the chapters for this story. I'll be fixing the plethora of spelling and grammar mistakes up until this point. I'll do it sometime in mid December so if you want to go back and read it from the beginning to refresh your memory or something, you won't have to cringe so hard at all the mistakes!
ANYWAY, see you all soon!
Any questions, comments, concerns, and or suggestions, PM or review and I'll try to get back to you ASAP!