-'The transmission began at 09:01 hours.' -
I saw them, there. At 09:00 hours.
Twenty meters away from those horsemen, I hid behind the remains of granite walls.
I was juxtaposed to that now torn street.
I couldn't return to my chamber.
Behind me there was nothing.
My world fell to a dome of black ash, yellow smoke, and them. I was trapped.
I thought of the machine perhaps shaking this new snowglobe away, a Doctors' arm returning me to the winding streets of gold and silver lamplights that I once skipped down with Hamm.
My life was smoke and mirrors.
My doors had swung into oblivion.
My vision was so cloudy, yet what remained of the symmetry in the granite made me dull. It felt euphoric to see the machine again. It hadn't left me.
It was here, in each slanted line of perfect embedded crystal, a silver and white in a honeycomb set.
Each molecule was copied from right to left, from left to right.
The squareness of the furthest edge transfixed me, so I ran my hand alongside it.
The color contrast was that of stones and the Doctor's collar.
I have heard of discolored stones, but those could not be produced by machines. The thought of this process made me feel like I was ready to obey again.
Feathers of intrusive ash awoke me from my dream.
Disgusting! I became aware of what lied 20 meters away. I became disheartened and angry. How dare they rob me of my master?
I felt my eyes narrow at them. They were blinding me.
The asymmetry blinded me. Its composition alluded me.
I found myself wanting to look away.. to be free of noticing that from right to left, his head differed.
His mouth was red as he commanded them. His teeth were stained with nourishment. Coffee, like Hamm's.
That color.. it's liberty!
No. Its clustered.
He is clustered and deformed!
Where are my deafeners!
monster!
Slowly, my eyes softened. As the grip of the machine left me, so did my tantrum. It must have not been me, crying out to it.
His group of demons killed each layer, each system of control the mutants had over me.
Their mouths were red.
They did not transfix me like the doctor.
His heart is real. His mouth is red.
I didnt wish to think of this. What of the perfect symbol, the symmetrical, Aigner heart?
His form was anarchy!
Inside and out! Inside-out!
I sat only in the eyes of those beasts for seconds, yet I felt like I had already been in their bellies. I felt as if I was already dead.
My breath was shaking and my heart grew agitated.
Each palpitation let out more of that white crystal air.
I panicked and covered my mouth, perhaps thinking that once they saw real breath escape from me, they would move to extinguish it.
I imagined their eyes moving down to meet mine.
What they have seen thus far they have moved to destroy.
They have destroyed.
Once they see me, their legs would be swinging over their saddles, their pill bottles rattling off of their slanted belts and metal horses' hooves slamming the perfect pavement.
Down the jagged waves of hoof prints they would have finally caught me, exasperated. The black dirt would scuff and their presence would breathe terror down my back. My heart would break down to my knees and I would fall there.
My elbows would blanket my eyes, and my arms would wrap my head.
I would weep.
"Where is the machine?"
Somehow I knew they wouldn't care.
They can find others, others like me.
Ones who spent their lives in solitude, being nothing. Becoming nothing. Offering nothing.
I would only offer worship. Worship to the machine that granted me a perfect life, unearned. Not to them. Never to them.
I was useless, and dumb. I have never ridden horses, and I have never swung an axe. I was assured I meant nothing to them. Only a symbol they were ready to burn.
My misery would be a trifle to them. Not a tragedy. A consequence. My death would be deserved..
Perhaps they couldn't be alive, like me.
Like me...
My body strung there alone. No difference from globe to globe. I was always null, and always void.
I have to run, now!
-'the transmission became undetectable at 09:02 hours.'-
-'the transmission resumed at 12:00 hours.'-
I have since been musing and daydreaming, thinking I would be dead if I hadn't ran to this alley cove.
I was in real danger for the first time in my life.
I have gone back to leisure, although I remain anxiety ridden. I record this inside of a meters-width plastic tube, which I filled with clay from the river.
My pacer eyes gave me light and my pacer heart gave me warmth.