Tell Me How To Fix You
Chapter 57
By: The Duchess of Arendelle
(Part 2)
AN: Straight off the back I'd like to make a huge correction for the previous chapter. Elsa spent 6 WEEKS in a sanitarium type institute NOT 6 months. Kai and Gerda worked to shut that sh*t down quick! Here's part 2 to the last chapter. Sorry for any and all mistakes.
"I… Elsa… I… didn't know."
Elsa didn't respond. She wasn't looking at Anna now and the redhead noticed the steady stream of tears falling from the blonde's ice blue eyes, her chest rapidly rising and falling with her labored breathing.
"Elsa, please look at me. Talk to me, tell me what's going through your head."
"I don't want to discuss this."
"But we need to discuss it, now. We can't just sweep it under the rug."
"You wouldn't understand…"
"Then help me understand Elsa! Help me understand what you've been through… what you're going through now. We talk Elsa, sometimes, and you tell me things and I always feel like you're holding back. For all that we've been through together, I still feel like there's a part of you that you won't let me reach."
"Stop it Anna, just… please, stop it. I can't do this right now."
"That! That right there. You always do that! Whenever it's time to open up and talk about our feelings you shut down. You don't want to talk, and we let it all fester until it boils over and comes spewing out like hot lava. You should have told me about the institute. You should have told me of your fears. You should have told me what you were feeling. Did you think I'd judge you? You're my girlfriend and I love you. Jesus Elsa, I can't even begin to describe how much I love you. But there's this wall… like solid ice between us. It's made of the things you don't tell me Elsa."
"And you're always so open with me?!" Elsa snapped back.
"You're always so open and honest about your past? Anna, you know way more about me than I know about you. You focus on my problems so you won't have to face yours."
At that the room fell completely silent again as Anna stared at Elsa and Elsa stared back. The redhead's eyes were brimmed with unshed tears and she let out a shaky breath. Elsa looked at the redhead, eyes full of regret and an apology on her lips. After an eternity of silence, the blonde opened her mouth to speak, but Anna held up a hand to silence her.
"Don't… don't apologize Elsa… You're right actually. You're absolutely right. There are... things I haven't told you about my past. Things that I still struggle with. Even after I told you about what happened to me in highschool, there are things you still don't know. And you're right… maybe I… maybe I do focus on your problems more to keep from thinking of mine. But Elsa, please believe me when I say that isn't even close to being the main reason why I want to help you so much. I love you. I think from the first moment I walked in and saw you sitting at that windowsill over there, I loved you and just didn't know it yet." Anna stepped closer to Elsa and reached out her hand. Slowly, the blonde took it and Anna pulled her into a light embrace.
"...And I care about you. And when you love and care about someone as much as I do you, their pain becomes your pain, their suffering becomes your suffering. And I see you suffer, and try, and struggle every single day and it hurts me. It hurts me more than my own past hurt. It breaks my heart to see you in pain. And so I push, and pry, and focus on you while closing a part of myself off from you. And I realize that I'm being a hypocrite… but I… I just want to help you. That's why I met with Jane. I just wanted to help you and I wasn't able to do it on my own so I thought… but I didn't know about the other psychiatrists or the institute. And I'd never do to you what they did, you know that. I'd never. But now I don't know what to do. So just…"
Anna trailed off, pressing her forehead to Elsa's and finally letting the tears fall from her eyes,
"Just, tell me how to fix you. To fix us."
AN: Kinda short chapter but I felt this was a good place to stop for a part 2 and a part 3 will be needed. SO next chapter, another bottle episode, more talking. Mostly about the past, and what they should do for the now. How they move forward. I have to say though, I was a little nervous about the institute part. It was always something I was planning to bring up but I was afraid you guys would think I was jumping the shark, until you heard the entire story and circumstances. Anyway, next chapter isn't far off. But I HAVE to update my other story next, I've been putting that off.
Any questions, comments, or concerns? You know what to do.
See ya, and those in Florida and the impact areas of Irma, my thoughts/prayers/etc are with you guys. Be safe!
-Duchess