Tell Me How To Fix You

Chapter 58

By: The Duchess of Arendelle

"Just… tell me how to fix you… To fix us."

Elsa silently stared at Anna for a long moment before slowly looking away. She didn't know how to respond to that. She knew she needed help. She knew that. But she didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to take those first steps. She didn't even know what was actually wrong with her. She knew what the doctors had always said. The same diagnosis everytime. OCD. OCD. OCD. The three letters swam around in her head. OCD. OCD. OCD. Her diagnosis was an anchor that was constantly pulling her down. She always felt the weight of it, interminably drowning in the ramifications of her disorder. OCD. OCD. OCD.

"Elsa?" Anna called the blonde's name, snapping the teary eyed woman out of her endless thoughts.

Elsa turned to look at her.

Anna. The fiery haired spitball who was always there for her. Who always took control of things. Who was always by her side with a smile and a warm hug to melt the icy chill that seemed to constantly surround her. Who's touch she not only accepted but desperately craved. The redhead looked worried. Sad. Scared. Tears fell from the swirling blue eyes, and that intense stare that never ceased to make Elsa feel bore right through the blonde.

Elsa swallowed hard and shook her head.

"I don't know." she croaked, ashamed at the admission. "I don't know."

Anna choked out a humorless laugh that sounded closer to a strained groan.

"Neither do I." she admitted with a sad smile.

For lack of a response, Elsa just nodded slowly; still not quite making eye contact with the redhead. Something deep inside her told her this was it. Everyone had their breaking point. There was only so much that a person could put up with, or choose to put up with. Anna had reached that point with Elsa. The blonde felt it. Her mind screamed it. Over and over again.'You've ruined it. She's done with you. She's given up on us. Stupid. Ridiculous. Freak.' Elsa jumped slightly when she felt warm hands slide into her own.

Finally making eye contact, her breath caught in the back of her throat when she saw eyes like storms gazing back at her. Determination flashing like lightning behind turquoise orbs.

"But, we will figure this out, Elsa. Together." Anna virtually whispered into the quiet room. Pulling the blonde closer and keeping an impossibly tight grip on delicate hands, Anna laced their fingers together and slowly moved forward.

Capturing Elsa's lips in a surprise kiss, the redhead tried to convey her sincerity. Words kept failing her, so she did her damnedest to put every emotion she felt for the blonde in one sweeping kiss. The love. The fear. The happiness. The desire. The worry. The joy. The hope. Every thing she felt went into that kiss and she prayed to whoever was listening that Elsa felt it. And she had. Elsa closed her eyes and melted into the embrace, kissing back with a ferocity she didn't know she possessed. She felt the raw candor of Anna's kiss. She felt the promise on the redhead's petal soft lips, and she believed her. Anna was hers and she was Anna's. They would figure it out. Somehow. They would.

Breaking the kiss when air became a dire necessity, the two didn't go very far. They stared into each others eyes and for the first time that day, actual smiles spread across both of their faces.

"Okay?" Anna asked, gazing into the glacier eyes.

"Okay."

*************************FROZEN******************************

6 days later

Anna quietly tip toed out of her bedroom and towards her small kitchen. It was 5:45am and Rapunzel was still fast asleep on her couch. Today was the brunette's last day in town before she left for Arendelle. Rapunzel was going to spend the last 2 weeks before the Fall semester began with her overbearing stepmother. Elsa insisted on making the brunette a goodbye dinner and asked Anna what Rapunzel's favorite foods were. The red headed journalist was then accosted by the blonde and forced to agree to pick up the ingredients from the Farmer's Market before she left for work. So up at this ungodly hour she was. The things she did for love.

After fixing herself a cup of coffee as quietly as her jackhammer of a coffee maker would allow, Anna made her way towards the front door. Grabbing her bag and a jacket from the stand by the old door, she slowly turned the knob and opened it; cringing when the ancient screws and hinges began to loudly squeak.

Slowly backing out of the apartment, her body collided with something solid and she almost let out a scream. Turning around to quietly apologize, she just barely held back the squeal that tried to escape her throat when she saw who it was.

"Kristoff! Is that you?" she whispered screamed, throwing her arms around him before he could even respond. The hulking blonde in front of her smiled brightly and nodded, wrapping his arms around her in a fierce hug.

"It's good to see you too, Feisty Pants." he replied, laughing heartily when the redhead mock glared and lightly smacked him on his arm. Anna quickly shut her apartment door and motioned for Kristoff to follow her. They both walked down the dimly lit hallway and towards the elevator.

"I'm actually on my way to the Farmer's Market, will you join me?" she asked, excitement replacing the exhaustion she was filling only moments ago.

"Of course, gingersnap." he replied, laughing again as Anna once again assaulted him.

********************FROZEN************************

The two friends talked non stop on the 45 minute cab ride they'd had to take to get to the farmer's market just outside the city. Anna insisted that he catch her up on all the things she'd missed in his life. He told her about the lumber mill and the guys, and some girls, he'd worked with. He talked about the guy who fell 140 ft from a tree and only ended up with a broken leg. He talked about the new friends he'd made while up there and how good it felt to get out of the city for a while. Anna smiled fondly and listened to every word. As they walked through the stalls of the market, it had only just occurred to her that he was back earlier than expected.

"Kristoff, why are you back so early? The last time we spoke on the phone you said you wouldn't be back until next week?" she asked, stopping at a stall to pick up the fresh saffron on Elsa's list. Her eyes widened at the price and she shook her head at Elsa's extravagance.

"We finished collecting the lumber a week early, I'm actually just now getting in. Harvesting season is finally over. I was headed to my apartment when you bumped into me." he explained. Anna's face fell a little as she swiped the card Elsa had given to her on the outstretched iPad's card reader. "And I'm keeping you from your well deserved rest." she stated, scolding herself for being so inconsiderate. Kristoff laughed good naturedly and shook his head.

"Nah, it's fine. Really. I was planning on surprising you later on today and maybe taking you out to breakfast but… this is much better. It's nice and quiet. Not a lot of people are up yet so it's peaceful and calm out. And, I get to catch up with my best friend while buying… yeesh... $60 saffron." He looked at the small glass bottle of herbs the vendor handed over to Anna and shuddered. Anna rolled her eyes but nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I know. Today is Rapunzel's last day in town until her classes start this fall and Elsa insisted on cooking an extravagant goodbye feast for her. And here, check this out, Italian White Truffles." Anna pointed out on the list in Elsa's delicate script. "I shudder to think how much those are going to cost." She shook her head but smiled indulgently at the list. Kristoff noticed and a small, sad smiled sprang to his lips. He'd been hoping that this time away from Anna would help him get over the crush he had on her. But, as he watched her smile just thinking about the blonde beauty, it hurt. He cleared his throat before responding.

"Speaking of Elsa, how are you guys? The last time we spoke it sounded like things weren't going so good..." He trailed off, picking up a few carrots from a stall and sliding a handful of crumpled bills into the hands of the old vendor. Anna's smile lightened but didn't fall. It took on a soft, thoughtful quality and she took in a deep breath of the crisp autumn air. Slowly letting it out, she looked over at Kristoff.

"Things are… actually going kind of great right now." She told him to his surprise, and though he'd never admit it, a little to his disappointment.

"Really? Care to divulge?" he asked.

"It's just…. Okay, so a few days back, Elsa and I had this really deep conversation. We laid it all out. All our fears. Our worries. Our hopes. What we wanted from each other and our relationship. We talked for hours. Literally until the sun came up. We just…. opened up and bared our souls to each other and honestly, I've never felt closer to anybody in my entire life."

The look of sheer elation and admiration on Anna's face, and the sincerity of her words were like red hot spikes going through Kristoff's heart. It was the final nail in the coffin of his love for the redhead. And he could finally see it. The complete and utter love and devotion Anna held for Elsa. She did truly and completely love the blonde and it was obvious. It had always been obvious, but now it was painfully so. It hurt. It hurt like nothing before but he also felt relief. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt that with this revelation maybe he could finally begin to let go of the idea that he could ever be with the feisty redhead. He knew, by the glint of devotion shining in her eyes, that he could never even begin to make her feel that way. He gulped in the cold air, lungs burning for it, and let out a long sigh. He looked over at the redhead by his side and mustered up a smile.

"I'm so happy for you Anna. For both of you. Truly." he said, grabbing her hand and giving it a tight squeeze. Anna smiled up at him brightly and wrapped him in a tight hug. He hugged back just as tightly, breathing in the sweet scent of strawberries and vanilla.

"Thank you Kristopher." She smiled as he huffed an aggravated, "It's Kristoff."

They pulled apart and laughed.

Walking down to the next stall, Anna looked over at Kristoff and frowned slightly. She'd known how the he felt about her, and she'd never in a million years want to bring pain onto her friend. But she could never feel more than a platonic love for him. She just hoped that one day he'd find someone who'd make him feel everything that she felt for Elsa.

"Oh my God, Anna, $3,200 a pound. These white truffles are $3,200 fucking dollars a pound." Kristoff called to her. She smiled to herself at his dramatics and shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"Your girlfriend is insane to pay this much for a freaking mushroom." He exclaimed as the middle aged balding truffle vendor looked at him in distaste.

"Hey! If my girl wants $3,200 truffles, I'm getting her $3,200 truffles." she said picking out the nicest looking truffles from the bunch. The vendor smiled approvingly at her and began weighing and bagging the fungi.

"That will be $6,400." The man said in a heavily accented Italian. The air fled from Anna's lungs in shock. The truffle vendor had to practically pry Elsa's Amex Black Card from her hands. She knew Elsa was insanely wealthy, but it still hurt her to spend that much money on four measly pieces of fungus.

"Oh my GOD. That's… that's like 6 month's rent." Kristoff said in awe. Anna nodded in agreement and took the small bag of $6400 truffles from the now annoyed man. They both walked away from his stall and continued about their shopping journey.

"Soooo, since this is Rapunzel's last day here, and it's your first day back… how about you join us for dinner?" she asked Kristoff after walking in relative silence for a few minutes. Kristoff stopped and looked at Anna with an 'Are you insane?' expression on his face and then he actually asked her, "Are you insane? Elsa would never let me in to her home." he'd said in a 'duh' voice. Anna slightly flinched at the tone but pressed on.

"Actually… she might? I mean, she's okay with Rapunzel coming over and you've technically known her way longer than Punz has." she reasoned.

"Yeah, and the 3 years she's lived there she's never spoken to me once. Literally. Not. Once. Not even when I helped Olaf out with the chores. She never even looked in my direct. Heck, the very, very few times I'd been in her apartment, she'd stay shut up in her room and wouldn't come out until I left." Kristoff rambled off.

"But she's changed…. she's changing. Let me talk to her. Ask her if it would be alright. She's actually changed a lot since you were here last." Anna looked at the blonde lumberjack with her lip jutted out in a pout. He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Whatever. If you can convince Elsa to invite me into her home for a dinner, then I'll come." he relented. Anna squealed in excitement and Kristoff put up a hand.

"Just, don't get too excited, okay? I know Elsa has come a long way since before you came, but she still has a long way to go. Just because she's warmed up to you and your cousin doesn't mean she's going to start hi-fiving strangers or letting people into her space." he warned gently. Anna nodded.

"I know but… she's gotta start somewhere, right?" she asked hopefully. Kristoff looked at the hope in the redhead's eyes and smiled.

"Of course, Feisty Pants."

AN: I didn't write the soul bearing conversation and reconciliation scene, but I'm thinking of writing it in a one shot that will be in the Tell Me How To Fix You- verse. Let me know if you guys want to read that or not. I update when I have the time, so hopefully it won't be too long. Hope you guys enjoyed this. :)