Disclaimer: I don't own the Wizarding world except for this plot.
Chapter Twelve
Albus Dumbledore's Death Anniversary
June 30, 2001
I feel like I'm thirteen again, walking back to school from a visit to Hogsmeade. At the same time, I feel different, like I'm constantly aware that I'm not that young girl anymore. As I head up further, I see Hogwarts Castle coming up the horizon. It's as magnificent as my thirteen-year-old-self remembers it.
When I reach the edge of the castle, Filch lets me in with a grunt. He leaves me at the door, grumbling about I know where to go. Mrs. Norris follows closely behind him. It's in the middle of the afternoon so the students are most probably in their classrooms. I heard it's the last day of exams.
The corridors are deserted, making my footsteps echo. Some of the portraits wave at me when they recognize who I am. Others are whispering among themselves. Everyone helped rebuild the place after the Battle. And now it looks like nothing as horrible as a war ever befell its chambers.
I go up the moving staircases, make turns until I find the large stone gargoyle. I utter the password ("Squitten"), remembering the Professor's note in her letter. The gargoyle hops aside, revealing a moving spiral staircase. I step up and wait as it ascends in a curve, stopping in front of the oak door of the Headmistress' office. I rap the brass knocker against the door twice before she tells me to enter.
"Ah, Miss Granger. I'm glad you could come. Have a seat," Professor MacGonagall says behind her desk.
"I would have come anyway," I say, taking the seat in front of her, wondering what offer she was talking about in her letter that arrived last week. She offers tea and cookies, both of which appear on the table.
"How are you Professor?" I ask. I haven't seen her for a while. She has become older, with her hair, now almost all white, still held in a neat bun. More wrinkles are lining her face and she looks frailer, which is deceiving for anyone who doesn't know her.
She smiles at me before she answers, "Good, good. And you dear?"
I tell her about my work and my appeals about the current legislation system.
"You were always such a bright witch," she comments and we catch up, about Harry and Ron, Hogwarts and everything else.
Finally remembering why she invited me here, she starts to say, "Now let's talk about that offer then? Well, Professor Vector, who as you well know teaches Arithmancy, has decided to retire. I remember that you were always so good at the subject, not that you don't excel in the others of course. So, I'm offering you the position, if you feel up to it."
I'm practically gawking at Professor McGonagall in awe. I've always thought of teaching as a profession. And to be teaching my favorite subject is just the cherry on top.
"But seeing as you have big things to accomplish at the Ministry," she continues, "I'll understand that it wouldn't be a very good time to give that up. I just want you to know that the offer is there. If you wish to accept it, then I'd be happy to have you as one of our esteemed staff."
"Wow. This is a really big honor for me Professor," I almost stutter. I'd be the youngest Professor to teach at Hogwarts if I accept this. "If you don't mind, I'll think about it."
"Of course, take as much time as you need," she says smiling, the folds near her eyes becoming more visible behind her square-shaped spectacles.
In my excitement, I give her a quick hug after I stand up. Arithmancy may have been my favorite but she was always my favorite teacher. I thank her for the tea and cookies before I finally leave.
When I get out of her office, the gargoyle leaping back to its place behind me, I find myself feeling overwhelmed. When I first received her letter, I didn't know what to think. I'd assumed she needed help with a major research… But this was a complete surprise.
This is definitely going to be a difficult decision.
xxx
By the time I turn up the first floor corridor, students are already filing out of their last exams before the summer holidays start. I catch some whoops and excited talks about a party some students are having tonight. I hear someone whisper to her friend, "Is that Hermione Granger?" as I pass by them. But I get distracted by the delicious smell of the end of term feast wafting from the Great Hall. It reminds me of how it used to be so simple back then, when the only things I was worried about were assignments and getting an E on my exams. Remembering what I came here to do, I make my way out the Entrance Hall. I descend the stone steps, looking far off the grounds and find the white marble tomb by the lake. The sun is starting to set, giving the faintest beautiful orange glow to the waters. Against the light is a tall, lean figure standing over the tomb. The scene looks so serene that I barely notice the tips of the large squid's tentacles plunging out of sight.
Malfoy stands a few yards from me. I watch him put a single white rose at the top of the tomb, among the many flowers and wreaths already lying there. I move closer to him, the strong smell of different flowers invading my nostrils. We stand there staring at Professor Dumbledore's resting don't talk and the only noise is the softest buzz of merriment from the Great Hall humming in the background. After a while, he speaks up, letting me know that he did notice me.
"Did you know that even when I was pointing my wand at him, the old man believed that I wasn't a killer," he says, not really asking.
Malfoy and I, we don't talk much about the things that remind us of the unpleasant part of the past. When we touch it, it's always just a scratch on the surface and mostly hidden in jokes. But there are times when he becomes candid about it — the only way he knows how to open up the subject and tell me that he wants to talk about it. And every time, I listen… really listen. Because it's also his way of showing me how much he trusts me.
Like a few months ago, we were at a coffee shop. I got a phone call from my dad reminding me of Saturday dinner. Malfoy was drinking his tea, listening while I promised my dad I wouldn't forget.
"Sometimes I wonder how it would have been like if I had grown up with a proud father like yours." When I asked him what kind of father Lucius was, he told me for the first time about his humiliations and how much he wanted to get his father's approval, even to the point of becoming a Death Eater. He didn't know the enormity of the consequences after that.
"You're not," I reassure him. Malfoy's told me about the things he did when he was a Death Eater, torturing innocent people included. That was the heaviest secret he's ever admitted to me. He's done terrible things. But he's not a killer.
He scoffs as if I just said a very bad joke.
"I might as well have killed him, letting those Death Eaters in…Letting Snape do it…" he mutters.
"You know that Snape acted on Dumbledore's orders," I remind him.
After the War, Harry made sure that Snape was given the credit he very much deserved, that the Wizarding World knew of his bravery and loyalty. He insisted that Rita Skeeter's book The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore, which may have held some facts,were filled with the lies that she claimed to write. The only way he thought he could clear Snape's and Dumbledore's names was an exclusive interview, the only one he gave, to the Daily Prophet. Soon after that, Ron corroborated his story and everyone believed it.
"That's just bullshit," Malfoy says under his breath.
It seems that despite the front page story on the newspapers for weeks following the interview, Malfoy only remembers the Snape he knew — the one who became a double agent for his devotion to Voldemort and the godfather who made an Unbreakable Vow to protect him and to do so, killed Albus Dumbledore for him.
"Harry, Ron and I… We agreed not to tell Snape's secret," I start to say. Malfoy then looks at me, waiting for me to elaborate. I continue, "We thought it was too… personal, that we didn't have the right to tell it to the world…"
Then I go into the story of Snape's memories — how he first met Harry's mother, how he fell in love with her, and how her death changed everything for him. "His love for Lily was enough for him to throw away everything he believed in," I finish.
Malfoy releases an audible breath of astonishment and says, "Who would have thought that a Muggleborn would be his undoing."
I can't help the pang of hurt that came hurtling with his words. The impact is so strong that the conversation turns completely around.
"I didn't think that Lily was his undoing," I say as flatly as I can, trying so hard to keep my calm.
Malfoy suddenly realizes what he just said.
"Granger... You know I didn't mean that — "
"What did you mean then?" I interrupt him, throwing him a spiteful look that tells him you-better explain-yourself-or-else.
"What I meant was," he says carefully, "I thought I knew Snape, at least as a godfather. He's always supported me and his approval always meant a great deal to me. And then you tell me about this whole other life…For him to fall in love with a Muggleborn — I feel like I didn't know him at all."
"I understand. But it doesn't explain… anything," I say, grasping for words I cannot find.
"I know! Hell Granger, you could be my undoing," he prattles unexpectedly.
I stare at him in surprise, his words echoing in the hollows of my mind, their weight not totally sinking in. As if Malfoy just immobilized me, I freeze. And everything seems to continue on without me —the sounds of celebration, the sun continuing to set and Malfoy's face radiating its majestic glow. He lets out a sigh then his lips start to move and I rush to follow what he says.
"Blood was everything for me when I was young. But you know the me now Granger. I wouldn't think twice to spill my own blood for you if it would save you," he says, his eyes penetrating.
The realization of how true his declaration is, is so frightening that I can't continue to look at him in the eyes. For those who knew Malfoy in Hogwarts, it would be the greatest irony — for him to be friends with a Mudblood, least of all, me.
"I know," I whisper.
The silence stretches on between us. Malfoy starts to throw pebbles into the water. And I watch as each one bounces one, two, three times.
"You should stop blaming yourself for his death," I finally say.
He stops, still holding a pebble in his hand, to look at me.
"I told you about Snape so you can stop blaming yourself," I repeat.
Never leaving my gaze, he says, "Okay."
xxx
It wasn't after the sun completely set that we finally left. But before we did, I conjured a wreath and put it at the foot of the tomb. I told Malfoy all about the job offer on the walk back to Hogsmeade.
A/N: Wow! Longest chapter so far! Thank you for continuing to read this story. Tell me what you think and what you felt of course! Also, please tell me if there's a feeling of I'm not sure, detachment? I mean between the chapters. Because most of the chapters are a month or more apart, I was worried that it might feel like they're not connected or like the story's jumping from one time into the next out of nowhere. Thanks so much, you guys are the best! Xx
Last thing, who's heard of Emma Watson and Tom Felton starring in a Beauty and the Beast movie? I mean, who's as excited as I am?! When the great J.K. Rowling said that she could never have asked for another set of people to play these seven characters (including Hermione and Draco), I couldn't agree more! Although I've given up hope on Emma and Tom getting together ever in real life (they're just different people), it makes me all the more thrilled to see them together at least in a movie! So please join me in my prayers that this movie pushes through!