Hi folks! I am so so sorry about how long you had to wait! If you read the note I left, that is my explanation, but now, I have a new computer and I am back at it! Enjoy!
Varian's days had been identical since becoming a prisoner. Today was very different. As he sat on his stiff cot, Varian struggled to ignore Ruddiger's absence. Varian had picked at his breakfast that morning, and then he iced his side until the ice melted, he walked the perimeter of his cell a few times, and then he noticed the parchment and quill that the Captain had delivered. Varian knelt down, grimacing at the pain the movement caused. He gripped the quill in his fist, willing himself to pour meaningful words onto the parchment. Each time Varian tried to focus his thoughts on his quickly approaching trial, his breath caught in his chest and his thoughts raced around his head. So, instead Varian scribbled his name over and over, he drew shapes, he scrawled messy designs, and he wrote every chemical formula he could remember. The second side of the page was just about full, when Varian's tense grip on the quill poked it hard through the parchment. Varian groaned and dropped the parchment and quill onto the floor, before retreating to the darkest corner of his cot, as he had done so many times before. The timing was curious, as Varian heard the familiar sound of steel toe boots scuffing against the stone, just as he was getting comfortable. Today though, was different. Four figures turned the corner, and none of them came baring lunch.
Varian swallowed hard and sat on his hands as they started to tremble. His father's words came to mind. Breathe. Breathe, Varian. Breathe. Varian did. He had tears in his eyes, and Varian willed them to go away. He couldn't cry in front of the guards again, he could not appear weak. Varian chewed the inside of his cheek, and looked up at the ceiling.
When he looked down from the ceiling, and saw the Captain, Pete, Stan, and another guard that he did not know, the one who took away Ruddiger, all just a couple of paces from his cell. The tears fell and Varian felt his entire body tremble now.
All the guards stopped in a clump a few feet back, but the Captain kept on approaching. He had an arm full of chains and shackles and he produced a key from one of the many on his belt. Before touching the lock, he looked to Varian, who stared back at him with wide, frightened eyes, and tears running down his cheeks. "It's time to go, kid." he said, sadly.
It only took a moment for the Captain to unlock and open the large, squeaky door. It took no time at all for the guard to place himself in front of Varian. Varian still huddled in the corner, frozen. The Captain crouched down to the teen's level. "It's going to be okay Varian." the man said, in a soft voice, barely louder than a whisper.
Varian shook his head. He had barely thought about what the outcome of the trial could be. It was too painful to think about his future, so he didn't. What Varian was afraid of wasn't what might happen to him after, Varian was afraid of coming face to face with everything he'd done. He has hurt innocent people, he has frightened innocent people, he has caused so much chaos and pain. He'd rather live in denial of it all.
At the time, Varian had felt like he was backed into a corner, and the only option was to fight his way out. Well, right now, he really was backed into a corner. But this time, he knew better than to fight.
Varian took a few more deep breaths, calming himself, and then he looked to the Captain crouched beside him. "Okay?" said the Captain. Varian nodded, and then tiredly swung his legs off the cot and got to his feet.
The Captain nodded and got to work with the chains.
There were more than ever before, Varian would be in the same room as the royal family, and however many civilians the courtroom would hold, so security would be tight.
Varian stood still, and let the Captain manipulate his body however he needed, to secure him. When he was done, Varian was shackled at the ankles, with just enough chain for him to take a step. There was a chain tight around his entire torso, just above the bend of his elbows. His wrists were shackled, with only one chain link between them, which was then linked to the chain around his body, so that his hands were forced to stay at his chest. Varian had practically no mobility in his arms, and any tiny movements made the chains clang and jingle. Varian had to try not to cry again, he would have no way to wipe the tears. He took a deep breath, urging himself to become detached. The physical constriction wouldn't pair well with panic, so he focused on his breathing. 'Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic.' Varian thought, as a mantra.
The Captain undid the shackle binding him to his cell, and led him to the other side of the bars that he had become so well acquainted with, for the second time that day.
Stan took the Captain's place on his left, and Pete took Varian's left. The Captain placed himself in front of Varian, and the nameless guard behind him. The guards marched together as a unit. Varian's steps were off beat, but he managed to keep up with the help of Pete and Stan.
The dungeon and the royal court were as far away from each other as they could be, while still being in the same building. So the walk felt like forever. Varian zoned out for most of it, his mind racing. He was only pulled from his thoughts when they left the dungeon, and Varian remembered that the rest of the world wasn't so dark and cold, only his world. He has tried to shield his eyes from the invasive sunshine, but his restraints prevented him. Without stopping, Pete asked him if he was alright and Varian made a noise that was supposed to mean yes. After a few moments of squinting, his eyes adjusted, and as they continued through the corridors near the kitchens, Varian was torn back into his thoughts.
Varian surfaced from his mind again now, 20 metres away from the grand double doors, leading to the royal court. Varian gasped when reality finally gripped him again, realizing just how close they were, and just how unprepared he was. Suddenly, with a high pitched noise coming from his throat, Varian dug his heels into the carpet. This brought the entire group to a halt, and Varian came face to face with every surprised guard on his escort. 'Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't pan-' Varian launched forward, landing on his knees, but quickly was hauled back to his feet by Pete and Stan. "Keep it moving." said the unnamed guard, from behind him. Varian swallowed, and his heart sped. He bit his lip and looked down, in fear of what might happen next, but he planted his feet and shook his head. Varian heard the man behind him grumple and begin to stomp towards him. Varian braced himself, but then, he saw the Captain's boots take a pace toward him too. The unnamed guard stopped and Varian looked up. The Captain was a few feet in front of him with a hand raised. "That is enough, Phillip. Thank you." said the Captain, with his eyes narrowed at the guard, Phillip.
The hot ball in Varian's throat broke and a tiny sob escaped, followed by a spring of tears. Varian cursed himself and hung his head unnaturally low, allowing his hair to fall forward and shield his shameful tears. The Captain's boot again came into view, and then the Captain took a knee, directly in front of Varian.
"Hey kid. Look at me." The Captain said, softly, and placed a hand on Varian's shoulder.
Varian flinched at the contact, and another sob escaping him. He was unsure whether it was because he didn't like the contact, or because he did. Varian didn't look up.
"Varian, come on." said the Captain, a little bit firmer.
Varian tilted his head up just a little, but did not look at the Captain. Instead he looked at various unremarkable spots on the floor. Apparently that was good enough for the Captain, because he began to speak again.
"Look kid, I know you're scared. I don't blame you. But you have to power through this. Things could be better for you afterward, we just don't know yet. This judge is unbiased and-"
"No." Varian muttered weakly, cutting off the Captain. "No. I don't care what they do with me. Pl.. please just take me back to my… to my cell. I'll stay there, I won't cause any trouble, not for the rest of my life, I swear." Varian said, and then in a very small voice, he continued, with tears rolling down his cheeks. "Please don't make me face them."
The Captain was silent, and Varian's frightened eyes finally met the man's surprised ones.
The Captain sighed, his gaze changing from surprised, to saddened. "Don't give up on yourself, Varian." Varian looked away again. "Look, we are going to go in there, one of us on every side of you. You keep your head down, you don't have to look at anyone. We are going right to the front, and once you're there, just don't look back. You can pretend they aren't there. You have to do this, kid." said the Captain. After a pause, he continued. "And you know, not everyone is still mad. A lot of people have come to understand, with the help of the Queen, of course. She made sure everyone had the whole story." He explained.
Varian blinked away some tears, and looked back at the Captain. "She did? Why? Why would she do that?" Varian said, surprised. Why would the woman he kidnapped and threatened want to help him in any way?
"Because she sees the good in people." the Captain replied, with a tiny, half smile. "You ready? It's going to be okay. I promise." he said.
Varian squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to wipe the wetness from his cheeks with his shoulder. When he had himself composed, he gave a tiny nod, and hung his head low again.
The guards once again took their places around him, and began to lead him toward the grand doors, and then inside them.
Thanks for reading, and please leave reviews! I love hearing your ideas, and thoughts about what you want to see happen next!
Once again, we haven't quite made it to the trial! (I'm sorry!) I have so much angst I want to squeeze in wherever I can! The trial is up next... so stay tuned!