A/N: I gotta be superwoman. Last time I posted a chapter, I finished it while packing for NY. Now, I'm finishing this while packing my bags yet again before moving across the country. Skills or nah!?

I have to thank you all for your reviews. The fact that I manage to engage you is thrilling, and your responses to certain revelations make me so happy. I hope I can keep this up, and that you will continue to read. Thank you!

Chapter 4: Infatuation

"What's all this?"

The streets were filled with people, tightly knight together along the street and waiting impatiently. The city was more colorful than usual; women adorned their bright yukatas while the men wore their traditional garments passed down through generations. Banners lit up the buildings while flowers were scattered on the city floors, creating the illusion of an ocean of flowers.

"Ne, we really need to get going," the blonde remarked hesitantly, his green eyes alert and flickering over the crowd.

"Just a minute, please," the tall brunette requested, keeping his eyes trained on the festivities. "What's going on?"

"Haven't you heard? The king was crowned earlier today, and now he's going to marry our future queen. The people have lined up the streets to catch a glimpse of her."

"I see," the stunning brunette murmured, transfixed by the tangible joy in the air.

"Kaname," the blonde mouthed, "we really need to get going. There's not mu–"

"All hail our future queen and mother of our people!" A man stepped onto the street, dressed in royal colors as he read out loud from his script. "All rise in celebration of Princess Yuuki of the Cross family!"

A carriage gilded to a halt behind him. The people grew quiet as they waited in expectation, anxiously wanting to catch a glimpse of the future queen's face. Along with them, a certain knight held his breath also, his heart hammering in his chest for some strange reason.

The Princess stepped out of her carriage gracefully; with one foot on the ground, she received the applause of thousands as they hollered and cheered. Casting a shy glance around her, she smiled brightly and waved when they threw sakura blossoms at her.

Kaname watched in awe as she calmly trekked down the street, her smile so bright and big he could see it clearly all the way to where he was standing. Her dress draped behind her elegantly, held up by her servants. It was customized specifically for her coronation; petal pink silk marked her status as a young maid about to be transformed into queen; the diamonds around her neck signified her status as the king's betrothed, and her long hair spoke of years of practice and dedication towards the crown.

"Woah," Ichijou breathed, watching the queen and how she handled the crowd, "she really is–"

"Beautiful," Kaname whispered, the word escaping his lips without intention. The way she walked; the joyful smile on her face and her bright, clear eyes – she was a vision of light and happiness, blinding him. Immediately he was attracted to her happy-go-lucky nature that was evident from the pep in her walk. That smile – pearl white teeth and corners of her mouth curling with delight – he adored it.

How could someone in their world shine so bright? He, who'd been hidden away in shadows all his life and trained to be nothing more than a killer, suddenly found himself longing for the happiness she displayed so freely. What a beauty she was – and she belonged to the king.

Memorizing the sight of her radiance, he turned briskly and walked away from the crowd, Ichijou stumbling after him. One day, he would serve her in some capacity; his training was finishing up, and per his father's instructions, he was to be admitted to the palace as a part of his service to the crown.

The king, his half-brother – the blessed child out of the two – would inherit all. The kingdom, power, and the queen – and Kaname would do his best to protect all of it. It was the only way to even out the sin of his ancestry.

Two years later he found himself at the palace. Today was his official inauguration. Despite years of hard training, he still found himself being jittery. It was not the thought of being in the palace that made him nervous, nor was it the many perilous tasks to come – but it was the thought of her smile; the smile he'd seen years ago and burned into his mind, unable to let it go as he thought about it every night.

Her radiance and joy pulled him in; the joy in her eyes and the brightness of her smile – she was almost child-like with her glee, and he, aged through battle and terror, couldn't help but appreciate her light-heartedness in their cruel world.

Yes, he knew nothing about her; had yet to meet her in person and he certainly would never be able to know her well, but deep down, he felt like he knew her better than most. He knew her heart after just a few minutes of watching her; and no matter how many times he tried to dismiss his intuition, he always came back to the conclusion that the queen was the most unique woman he would ever stumble across.

He found it strange how just a brief glimpse of her years ago had kept him going for so long. At night, as he slept under the stars, he thought of her and reminded himself that his hard work would pay off one day when he gave his life for her and the king.

"I've decided to assign you the task of protecting the queen," the king spoke. "Her safety is my top priority."

He bowed his head. "I will do my best, your highness."

The king smirked, circling the knight. "The reason why I chose you is not only because of our shared blood, but also your impressive skills. Among the guards, you have the least injuries and you inflict more injury on the opponent than any other. Your hit list surpasses the others', and your fierceness is incomparable. The elders have praised you for your tactical mind and devotion to the crown; the people, too, are in awe of your skills and bravery. My half-brother or not, a man like you is what I need in the palace."

Kaname nodded quietly. "I am honored by your words, your highness."

Rido touched his shoulder lightly; vaguely, Kaname could sense his half-brother halting behind him, his breath tickling his neck. Like the dutiful soldier he was, he remained perfectly still, not giving in to the uncomfortable sensation of having his brother so near.

"Mm…" He hummed. "A man like you is needed in any kingdom. If only you weren't my brother…"

Ignoring the implication behind his words, Kaname stared straight ahead as his shoulders squared. Years of practice had taught him the importance of composure.

"You shall meet the queen tomorrow," Rido instructed, his voice returning to normal as he resumed his seat on the throne, red and blue eyes staring down at the knight. "I trust you to do your best in protecting her. When you are not with her, you will be my right hand."

"Understood, your highness."

The next day, he entered the grand hall where the thrones were seated. Despite his conflicting thoughts, Kaname felt calm and collected. Years of training had granted him such skills; he was no longer a slave to his emotions and listened only to instinct. He was the perfect knight for the palace.

But as he got nearer, he felt his heart rate pick up as he eyed the back of her head. Her hair was tied up delicately, pinned with exquisite jewels. Oddly enough, she wore a black cloak above her burgundy dress; her entire ensemble was quite the contrast to the sweet pink hues he'd seen her in last time.

She turned in his direction; their eyes meeting instantly despite his intention to lower them in respect. He just couldn't help it; for such a long time he'd wanted to catch a glimpse of her that in the heat of the moment, he forgot all about manners.

If time could halt for even the briefest of moments, then it had to be now. He felt his entire being freeze as their line of sight crossed.

His heart dropped in his chest.

Her eyes… they were so cold.

Her skin was paler than he remembered; the contours of her face contrasted starkly, showing how much weight she'd lost. She did not smile nor did she flush with excitement the same way she had on the day she was crowned; instead, she looked at him as if he wasn't there; like he was a see-through ghost and she couldn't be more bothered.

The image of her smiling and laughing face vanished in his mind as the current sight of her lifeless visage assaulted him.

She bowed in greeting, prompting him to lower his head in respect.

He got down on one knee and placed his right hand over his heart. "Your highness, please allow me to serve and protect you for the time to come."

The queen barely blinked in response, her voice cool and collected, as if she was reading from a script rather than speaking from her heart.

"Thank you for your services to the crown thus far. I accept your offer and I shall grant you the task of ensuring my safety. You may rise."

He rose from his position on the floor, immediately straightening his back and looking straight ahead.

"Thank you for accepting this extra safety measure I have taken," Rido spoke softly, grasping her hand and kissing the top of it. "These are unsafe times in the kingdom, and I would be absolutely devastated should something happen to you, my queen. Kaname is to become your shadow; the only time he won't be with you is when he attends strategy meetings with me or when you're sleeping. I hope you accept this intrusion in your daily routines."

The queen nodded tersely; from the corner of his eye he watched her, deducing her motives and mindset. She seemed detached and apathetic; the fire in her eyes was snuffed out and replaced with a darkness he'd only ever seen in the eyes of his fellow soldiers; briefly he wondered if someone had kidnapped the princess he adored and replaced her with the ice queen in front of him.

Surely this couldn't be the same woman?

The queen nodded. "I appreciate your concern. If you'll allow it, I'd like to retire now and take a walk through the gardens. Shall the knight accompany me…?"

Rido nodded towards Kaname. "Yes, do as you please. Kaname knows his place."

"Very well," the queen whispered, turning on her heel while the maids held the trail of her dress away from the floor.

Forgetting himself, he watched her form disappear down the hallway, mulling over their strange meeting and her cold behavior, before he gathered himself and followed after her.

Who took your smile away, fair queen?

"You don't say a lot, do you?"

He didn't offer any reply; partly because he was instructed to interact with her as little as possible, and partly because he found it hard to speak in her presence. He was still so baffled over the change in her that he found it hard to trust her.

When he didn't reply, the queen shrugged as her eyes trailed the royal grounds. "It's fine. I've grown quite accustomed to silence in the palace. Yours is a strange one, though," she turned, eyeing him. "Your silence screams at me. You try to hide it, but you look at me with sorrow in your eyes. Do tell, knight, what is on your mind?"

He blinked, fighting the urge to look over at her.

"I don't know what my husband has instructed you to do; to protect me or spy on me, I have no way of knowing, and frankly I don't care. Do as you please – or better yet, do as he pleases – it's better that way…"

The dejected note in her voice caught his attention; he glanced at her briefly, finding her head turned down as she stared at the front of her dress.

"I have nothing to say, your highness," he replied calmly. "If I have offended you by looking at you inappropriately, I ask that you issue a fitting punishment for me."

"So you can talk after all," Yuuki hummed, offering him a wistful smile. "Assigning punishments is something that my husband excels in, not I. Unfortunately for you, I won't punish you. I could care less about where your eyes linger or where your thoughts go; you could kill me in my sleep and I wouldn't complain. In fact, I might just rise from the dead to thank you."

This time, he couldn't stop himself. He glanced at her, finding her mouth twisted in a vicious smirk and her eyes glittering like polished diamonds.

The image of her, clad in pink, waving at the crowd and her cheeks flushed with color burned hotly in his mind.

What happened to you?

Black eyebrows scrunched together on his forehead.

"I have such a strange sense of humor, my apologies," she offered airily, waving her hand. She inhaled and exhaled, and for a second it seemed like he could see her lungs in her chest, pulling in air with all their might and struggling to exhale; it was as if he could see her body giving up on her due to her weight loss, the denial of nourishment tearing down her system.

The queen had everything; the king, the kingdom; a palace filled with maids and servants tending to her every need; the worship from her people; dresses and jewels worth more than a commoner's house, and yet…

She was broken.

"I'm tired," she announced, turning sluggishly. "You may accompany me to my chambers, knight."

Mutely he trailed after her through the gardens and into the palace, all the while watching and observing her movements. To say that he was puzzled was an understatement; the woman before him wore the face of the fair princess from years ago, but on the inside she was a ghost walking the grounds of the palace.

She paused outside her door, glancing over her shoulder at him. Yes indeed did she wear the princess' face; despite the change in her eyes and her hidden scars, the queen was still undeniably beautiful. He, who had taken an oath to remain in celibacy, could not deny such an obvious truth.

"I hope you won't suffer too much next to me," she whispered, still not looking quite at him. "I don't know why the king appointed you, but if your goal is to make it in the palace and rise to the top, I'm afraid you're out of luck. Do not let the king fool you into thinking you are of any importance. Like everyone else – like me – you are replaceable…" Her eyes met his finally; he shivered at the coldness of her black eyes.

"Protect me if you must, but don't exhaust yourself," she warned, opening the door. "And most importantly, don't get attached to me – I won't be around for too long."

The sun shimmered on the horizon as it blended with the surface of the earth, hues of red and orange spreading over the landscape. Autumn was making its presence known in the late summer, a sign of how much time had passed.

Every day and every night – except for the rare occasions where he served the king instead – were spent next to the queen, always following her moves and shadowing her. Though their first meeting was a memory he'd rather erase from his mind, Kaname was slowly starting to grasp what had happened to traumatize the queen.

"I say we use our war slaves for something that will benefit the kingdom and my legacy," the king hollered among the chatter of the council members. They quieted instantly, listening to him.

Rido slapped his hands on the table, his eyes glittering spectacularly as he raised his voice. "I want to build a temple! For me!"

"But Ousama, the wars have left our people famished and in dire need of nourishment and water. Would it not be better if we utilized the slaves to gather fo-"

"The people are fine!" The king whined, silencing the councilman. "We have the charities doing their part in feeding them and repairing the damages; a temple will bring them hope and joy; surely a figure of me encased in gold will continue to inspire them for years to come!"

"I think it's a wonderful idea, Ousama!" A pale councilman spoke excitedly, nodding towards his fellow councilmen. "The people need hope above anything else!"

"Yes, yes, certainly…" The men nodded amongst themselves.

Kaname watched as the minority of the men around the table pursed their mouths, biting off their tongue in an attempt to keep their opposing thoughts to themselves. Going against the king was suicide in slow motion; they'd learned this the hard way, as had Kaname who acted as the grim reaper whenever the king was displeased with his councilmen.

His eyes caught the green ones of Asato Ichijou; the elder man sighed inaudibly, conveying with his gaze the disappointment he felt.

Rido took another swig of his chalice, downing the liquid in one go. "It's settled, then! A temple shall be built within the next five years to honor me!"

"All hail the king!" The councilmen toasted together, joining in on the celebration.

Kaname closed his eyes, already envisioning how the night would go. The king and his men would get piss drunk and cause a ruckus in the palace; geishas would be called to the palace to act as entertainment, while wild animals would roam the grasses and perform tricks as the nobles watched on. At the end of the night, the king would mysteriously disappear, coincidentally at the same time as one of his personal guards, or perhaps even several of them.

It was always the same routine. Every damned night.

"And what 'hope' do you wish to inspire in the people?"

Like he'd been struck by lightning, Rido quieted instantly, wild eyes zeroing in on the man at the end of the table.

"I say, the greatest legacy you could leave behind would be an heir to the throne; an heir who can ensure the safety of the crown and the people; a ray of hope in these disturbing times."

Rido pinched the bridge of his nose; Kaname eyed his quivering shoulders, knowing all too well about his half-brother's mercurial moods.

"I told you already; the problem lies with the queen. Her health has declined due to her weight lo–"

"Then make her eat!" Asato yelled, shooting up from his seat and slamming his fists on the table. "Make her conceive; make her take care of herself. Are you not her husband? Does your wife not obey you? Are you not man enough to make her listen to you? What use are you as a king if you can't even control your queen? You want a statue of gold – for what? To immortalize your incompetence!?"

It was like watching the prelude to an earthquake; Rido trembled in his seat, twitching every now and then as he fought to contain his rage and embarrassment. His fists were white with pressure; his mouth a hard line as he bit his tongue.

Asato stepped around his seat and gave the king one last piercing look. "Build your temple. Use all the gold we have. No matter what you do, the truth will come out one day, and the legacy you speak of will be no more than dirt under a beggar's shoe." He turned and briskly exited the room, slamming the door behind him.

Silence roamed the oval table; councilmen glanced anxiously at each other, holding their breaths as he king fumed in his seat.

"Heh…"

Rido's shoulders shook with laughter.

"He he he he!"

The rest of the councilmen joined him, laughing as loudly as possible to please him.

Rido wiped his eyes and giggled. "What a funny man! He thinks he can speak to me that way… So funny! Isn't it funny? Isn't it?"

"Oh yes, Ousama, it's very funny!"

"Hilarious, your highness!"

"Ridiculous, your majesty!"

"I know!" Rido bellowed. "Ah, I wish he'd drop dead already. Being the head councilman, he is untouchable in the name of democracy. But soon… soon his ancient body will give up and he'll regret what he said to me! Ha ha ha!"

Kaname closed his eyes, tuning out the cheers and hollering from the councilmen. It was always like this; Asato would taunt the king and storm the room, and then the king would mock and ridicule him until he'd had enough. The evening would end in a grand party, and as always, there would be damage and injuries in abundance in the morning.

Kaname eyed Rido's strained grin.

But on a night like this, the king would make one last stop before choosing his lover for the evening.

The queen's bedroom.

"Why? Why won't you take care of yourself!?"

Kaname kept his eyes closed, willing his ears to shut out all sound.

"He keeps embarrassing me, and it's all because of you and your incapability of fucking taking care of yourself. You're fucking useless to me if you suddenly drop dead out of malnutrition!"

His jaw tightened as he grit his teeth together in silence.

"Forget it! You're useless either way. You haven't cured me; you didn't fix me – you've done nothing for me, and look at what I've given you! My name, my palace; my kingdom, and yet you sit there all day and you do nothing! Why? Why won't you fix me!?"

Then, the symphony of violence hummed in his ears; sometimes it would be mellow – the king would throw things around and yell in frustration, before exiting the room in a hurry – but other times, the sound of things being thrown around would be accompanied by the quiet whimpers of the queen.

"Stop, please… I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

Kaname ignored the bile that rose in his throat and the pain that bloomed in his chest. His fist tightened at his sides as he fought to reign in his anger. No man should ever lay a hand on a woman… ever.

"Sorry isn't good enough, you whore!"

The door opened as the king stumbled out into the hallway. In a daze, he spotted Kaname and huffed, turning on his heel and stumbling down the path between the rooms. "Watch over her and don't let her out of her room, knight!" He roared, disappearing through the narrow hallway.

All his life, he'd been trained to reign in his emotions; he was not to be affected by rage nor empathy or sympathy; happiness was a distant notion for him, and so was sadness. He wasn't supposed to feel a damn thing.

But as the queen's cries travelled through the hardwood door separating him and her, he felt both rage and sadness whip against him like an angry wind, forcing him to feel it burn in his chest.

Yet he couldn't do anything about it.

Time passed, and though he did his best to remain neutral and collected, he couldn't help but form a bond with the queen. Though he had viewed her as cold and apathetic in the beginning, he had soon realized that beneath her lifeless shell was the ghost of the woman he'd once adored.

She appeared in rare moments, always with him by her side, and it made him dream of one day where the queen would be free of her pain and burden. Beneath her hardened exterior, Yuuki was soft and warm, still holding onto dreams she claimed she'd put to rest years ago. He knew this because he was constantly watching her in her most unguarded moments; in the mornings when she tended to the roses in the royal garden, smiling softly to herself as she stroked the petals tenderly; whenever they travelled to the other cities of their country, her eyes would glitter with unabashed curiosity, soaking every detail up.

For every unguarded glimpse he caught of her, the more he wanted to continue seeing her flourish and become her old self again. He wanted to help and guide her out of the darkness she succumbed to in the palace.

He wanted to see her smile again, like she did on that day when he first saw her.

Yuuki eyed the slice of watermelon in front of her suspiciously.

She glanced back and forth between the watermelon and the man who was patiently holding it between his chopsticks and offering it to her.

"What, does your duty include feeding me like some petulant child? I won't have it," she huffed and turned away.

But the knight – ever-present and ever so patient – didn't budge. She glanced back at him, still finding the watermelon placed directly in front of her face.

"No," she said, intently gazing at him.

Soft garnet-eyes met hers calmly; they shimmered unlike any other shade, entrancing her. Was he a wizard, too? Was he compelling her?

Silence stretched on between them as she refused his unrequested offer. He did not move an inch; in fact, she was starting to worry if he was even breathing as he looked at her so intently.

She huffed again, quickly snatching the watermelon with her teeth and eating it, raising her chin indignantly as she chewed stubbornly.

Kaname smiled to himself, pleased by her submission and happy that he'd gotten her to eat.

"Well look at you," she hummed, eyeing his upturned lips. "You can smile, huh. Maybe you're human after all."

He was about to wink at her when he realized something; the queen was actually smiling at him for the first time. Genuinely smiling, not politely arranging her mouth like she so often did in public, but smiling because she was amused by him.

His face sobered against his will, as did hers as she lost herself in his eyes. Their eyes remained locked as he drew in slow breaths, trying to calm his erratic heart. She was so close; just within his reach… her beauty entranced him; made him dream of tasting her lips and hearing her moan; slowly he tipped forward, watching as she remained perfectly still.

"Joousama! There you are!"

The two broke apart awkwardly; Kaname rose from his spot with the efficiency of a cat, alert and ready as he stepped to the side.

The blonde man eyed him suspiciously, his brows furrowing with distrust as he glanced between him and the queen.

"Dearest," the queen hummed, smiling softly as the blonde lowered himself on the blanket next to her and grabbed her hand, showering it with kisses.

"I'm sorry for being late. I stopped by our friends," he smiled, turning his back to Kaname as he sat down.

"How are they?" Yuuki whispered.

"They're doing quite all right," Hanabusa grinned, holding her hand in his larger one. He stroked her cheek with his other hand gently. "You look flushed," he remarked, watching how her eyes briefly flickered towards the knight. "Have you started eating again?"

Yuuki released a low chuckle. "As always, I'm being force-fed. This time by my valiant knight as well, can you believe it?"

Hanabusa turned and peeked over his shoulder at the towering knight who was busy observing the grounds. "Reeally? Do tell, knight, that is certainly extra effort you put into the protection of the queen. Perhaps, are you…?"

"The queen's health and welfare is my priority, as is the king's," Kaname answered, keeping his eyes on the fields. "I do what I must in the service of the crown."

"How diplomatic," Hanabusa quipped, rolling his eyes before he turned and plastered a smile on his face. "Well, it's good to see you look somewhat alive, Yuuki."

Kaname froze. He knew the queen was close with the boy, but not that close that they used each other's first names. Somehow, it made him feel…

"Same goes for you, Hanabusa," the queen smiled amicably. "You've been granted some peace the last few nights, haven't you? You look refreshed"

Hanabusa nodded silently, his smile faltering slightly. "Yes… Though I can't say it has done much to ease my mind. These moments of peace tend to be fleeting…"

Yuuki inhaled and exhaled slowly. "I know what you speak of more than anyone… but for now, please allow your mind to rest," she said, raising her hand to his cheek, caressing it gently.

The boy leaned into her touch and sighed softly.

Kaname's lower lip bled from the pressure of his teeth.

"Knight," the queen called. "Please grant us some privacy by retreating for the time being."

He swallowed the strange feeling crawling up his esophagus, bowing.

"Yes, your highness."

He wasn't a man that was allowed to feel; his life was to be lived in service of the crown and its people; he was not to take a wife and have children; he was not allowed to have political views or conflicting emotions – if any at all.

But as he looked at the queen from the distance, watching her dull eyes light up somewhat in the presence of the fair guard, he felt the sting of jealousy burn hotly in his veins.

And he couldn't do anything about it.

"Son… the only way I can protect you is by having you join the royal guards. It is the only way I can keep you close and protected…"

"I understand, father."

"If not, I'm afraid evil forces will find a way to put you on the streets. Like it or not, but in this situation, your half-brother is the enemy. And keeping the enemy close is the best way to survive. It will be hard, but in due time, you'll find your heart and soul strengthened by hard work. My hope is to one day see you rise in ranks and prove yourself worthy, maybe even challenging the reigning king…"

"But father, that's–"

"Being a true king does not rely solely on your blood. It's what's in your heart, son. In you I see the same fire and bravery that existed in your mother… but with him, all I see is darkness… Darkness that will consume anything it touches."

"Psst."

He twitched, his eyes opening slowly as he reemerged from the world of dreams and old memories. He blinked a few times, trying to find the right focus.

"You were sleeping. That's good. I always hated the thought of you having to stay up all night while you guarded my chambers."

His eyes widened as he realized that the queen was right in front of him, her hair falling down the sides of her face as she continued to gaze at him. He straightened on his chair immediately, faintly embarrassed that he'd been caught by her in such a position.

The queen was still bent over, her face close to his as she smiled pleasantly. "Shh, it's our secret. I won't tell the king."

He bowed his head. "Tha-"

"Do you want to meet my friends?" She interrupted, eyes glittering as she gazed at him.

His mouth opened and closed, about to form words.

"I'm leaving either way. If you want to follow me or not, that's up to you," she whispered, straightening her back and turning on her heels, her long black cloak floating eerily behind her in the darkness.

Startled, he was up on his feet, briskly walking after her as she expertly carved out a path for herself in the darkness. Somehow, the queen knew what corners to hide in and what hallways to evade; none of the other guards caught her feline-like movements as she tip-toed through the palace with Kaname hot on her heels.

They finally made it out to the gardens. Yuuki lowered her hood; Kaname watched in wonderment as long locks of mahogany cascaded down her back, like rivers of milk chocolate. She turned over her shoulder and smiled secretly as she winked.

She placed her finger over her mouth, signaling for him to be quiet. Before he could warn her of the dangers of trekking around the gardens so late at night, she was already on her way through the greenery.

"You sly queen," he muttered to himself, doing his best to catch up.

The wind played with his hair as he chased her; the cool breeze was welcomed in the midst of his exertion, the moon following his every move as he kept his vigilant eyes on her.

Finally she paused, lowering herself to the ground at the edge of the garden.

"Here you are," she cooed.

Confused, Kaname frowned as he watched her hunched over form. Her arm was stretched out in front of her, but towards what, he could not say.

"Do you want to meet a friend of mine?" The queen whispered, her voice sweet and lovely – a stark contrast to the cool and dejected voice he'd grown accustomed to in the palace.

She turned over her shoulder and glanced at him expectantly; faintly he could detect certain vulnerability in her eyes – as if she was about to expose her most hidden secret to him and he had the choice to look away.

Of course he couldn't look away. Not when it came to her.

He lowered himself next to her, watching as her cloaked hand drew away and revealed her 'friends'.

"Here, kitty, kitty," the queen purred, playing with the brown kitten.

Kaname couldn't help but blink stupidly at the scene unfolding in front of him; in a haze, he stretched out his hand and let the black kitten come close; he rubbed himself against his hand, purring with pleasure.

"That one reminds me of you," Yuuki said, tickling the brown kitten's stomach. "He's darker than this one, and he's so protective of her. Like you. My dark knight."

Kaname tickled the onyx kitten's stomach, watching as he playfully swiped at him with his tiny claws. "I was under the impression that dark knights were the least favorable ones. Say, wouldn't a white knight in shining armor suit you better?"

"Haven't you noticed?" The queen mumbled sadly, stroking the brown female kitten's head. "I'm full of darkness."

Kaname paused, glancing over at her. "I wish you'd let the light in."

She turned then, staring into his eyes as she smiled wistfully. "There is none. Not in my world."

He frowned, upset by the shimmering sadness in her eyes. "Is that why you refuse to eat, your highness?"

The queen huffed, turning her eyes over to the brown kitty. "You're always bothering me about that…"

"Your health is important to the king, and therefore–"

Yuuki snorted. "If my health was so important to the king, then he'd give me a child so I could dote on them and forget the world around me."

His breath hitched. "Do you not believe–"

"Do I not believe the king will give me a child? Of course not. In this palace I will rot in solitude for the next years until my heartache catches up with my body. What happens after that, I have no clue… But as long as I'm free of this childless and loveless existence, I'll be happy."

He closed his eyes. They were stepping onto dangerous territory here; he was not supposed to speak with her unless it was to accept her demands, and he was certainly not allowed to care for her. But as he listened to her wistful words and saw the fire in her eyes slowly fade away, he couldn't help but feel his own loneliness resonate with hers.

His mother had died early on – and since his father was the king, and Kaname his illegitimate son – he was not allowed to be in the palace next to his father. The only solution was entering the army and training to become a royal guard; people would forget his name and his heritage, and so he would be safe from the cruel whispers of the outside world that called him a bastard.

It was the only way to survive; to live in the shadows and disappear in them, becoming nothing more than an emotionless tool for others to use.

He looked at her profile; the queen was beautiful in her own charming way – cute button-like nose, lips pink and full – eyes so wide and bright he could lose himself in them – her features were certainly God-given. They had to be.

To him, she was the most beautiful woman on the planet.

And for the life of him, he couldn't stop worrying over her increasing despair.

"I wish you'd take care of yourself better," he whispered, testing the waters. "Joousama. Not for your husband, not for the kingdom, not for me, but… for yourself. For the woman hiding beneath your layers of hardened skin; for the woman I know you can be – powerful, strong, independent, someone who is able to grasp every day in the palm of their hand and make the most out of it. That's who you are, Joousama. Deep down."

Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "Is this truly how you view me?"

"Yes," he responded determinedly, reaching over and wiping the tear that sailed down her cheek. "Your highness."

She watched him in silence, her eyes wet as she worked to decipher his intentions. Knowing he'd already overstepped a few major lines, he stared bravely back at her, conveying his sincerity.

Then, as if the sun rose and illuminated the world, she smiled at him; pearl-white teeth glittering between her upturned rosy lips; her eyes crinkled at the corners as she gave him yet another smile from the bottom of her heart – a smile that warmed his insides and forced his own lips to curl with joy.

"You don't say a lot do you?" She repeated her question from months ago when he first started serving her. "But when you do," she continued, tentatively reaching out and stroking his cheek with the top of her hand, "you say the most wonderful things. Thank you."

Heart beating in his chest, Kaname nodded silently in response, not wanting to ruin the moment between them.

The wind fluttered her hair; long locks of mahogany flew around them as he watched her in a haze. The way she smiled at him now; so beautiful and radiant – made him want to snatch the proverbial crown off her head and free her from her pain. He wanted to see her running free across the field; stripped of her unnecessary opulent jewels and fine textiles; her hair loose and wild, tickled by the wind.

But he could not do such a thing. It was not in his power.

Fate had dealt them terrible cards; and somehow, in the middle of their misery, they'd ended up by each other's side.

Perhaps there was some luck in their tragic lives.

"Look," the queen whispered, pointing at the kittens.

He tore his eyes away from her and looked.

The smaller brown kitty was nestled into the black one, who held one paw protectively over the little one as they quietly napped together.

"They came from two different homes and found each other in the dark forest outside the palace gates," the queen whispered, smiling. "Hanabusa found them and brought them to me; I've been sneaking out food and milk for the past days to them. Do you see?"

Her manicured finger stroked the protective paw of the onyx male cat, before pointing at the tiny brown one that was nestled into his embrace.

"They're just like you and me."

Katelyn: Thanks for the review! You're onto something, all right... As for the ending... well, it's not exactly happy for everyone, but for someone it is. Hehe. Can't tell you all yet!