A/N: Apologies for the delay! I've been very super extremely busy. However, I've found the time to write in-between being broke as hell and crying cause I'm unable to read five chapters in one go. Hah. Just a quick warning; this chapter is for them grown-ups in the building. If you know what I mean. I struggled a lot with writing it, so please be gentle on me!
Also, another recommendation; I'm currently loving the drama Scarlet Heart: Ryeo. It reminds me a lot of this story, kiiinda. I watch it whenever I want to evade my homework lol. Check it out!
Oh, and a quick note; I updated It Will Be Her after mooooonths of inactivity. Go read it if you follow the story!
As always, reviews are appreciated. They keep me coming back to write even if I've essentially retired from the fandom!
Chapter 5: Temptation
Water broke through the landscape; ferociously making its way through stone and earth – and when gravity pulled it down, the mass of cool liquid streamed mercilessly onto the small lake that was hidden away among trees and creatures that inhabited the area.
The water ran with powers acquired over thousands of years – power that could split stones in half and tear up landscapes. The moon towered above the natural occurrence, showering the water with silver light.
The noise was welcomed; gallons of water hitting the earth and streaming onwards – it belonged there among the bamboo trees.
He did not belong in the middle of the freezing water.
Naked, Kaname grit his teeth together in silent pain, feeling the shocks of hypothermia set in his body. Laboriously, he clenched his fists together as he breathed in the crisp air, focusing his attention on the pain and its cleansing effect.
In the army, he'd learnt the importance of discipline.
When discipline was absent, chaos reigned – when chaos reigned, morale lowered and men lost themselves to their desires.
When an honored soldier became a man enslaved to his desires, punishment was in order.
This was his punishment.
Down his wide chest, across his toned abdomen and pooling at his legs, the water streamed mercilessly, purifying him. The pain of the bitter cold was a part of the purification; without pain he would fail again, and he would be no more than a man lost to desire.
The drawings on his body – scars from battles past – no longer stung on his skin. The cooling effect of the water had long since numbed him down – he felt nothing but the painful sensation of being frozen alive.
He grit his teeth together and opened his eyes; he needed to persevere through this and purify his mind.
He could not return to the palace until his punishment was over.
The only problem was that the reason behind his predicament kept haunting him; behind closed lids he saw the sight he wasn't meant to see; in his body stirred a forbidden flame that made his senses come alight with energy.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about that moment…
"Goodness, you're here," Ichijou muttered, relief coloring his face as he eyed Kaname approaching. "I don't know how you do it," the blonde sighed, rubbing tired eyes as the stoic knight replaced his spot, "staying up at all hours to protect the queen… I'm exhausted, and you do this all the time. Surely you aren't made of flesh and blood, but steel and iron."
Kaname chuckled quietly. "I'm no less human than you are, unfortunately. Thank you for watching over the queen's chambers in my absence while I tended to the king."
"No worries," Ichijou said and stretched, long limbs elongating graciously. "It's become habit to replace you now from time to time. But even so, the queen still puzzles me."
"Why?" Kaname inquired.
"Well," the blonde shrugged, "I sorta get why they call her the ice queen now. She barely smiles anymore – at most I've heard her mutter maybe five or six words, tops. It's such a drastic change from…"
"…From when she was crowned, I know," Kaname finished, glancing at the door to her chambers.
"It must be hard, spending every minute with her…" Ichijou tried, pensively watching Kaname as his face adopted a forlorn look.
"She… can be difficult," Kaname admitted, lost in thought and oblivious to the watchful eyes of his comrade. "But I think she's… misunderstood."
"Ah, I see…" Ichijou nodded, waiting for Kaname to re-emerge from his thoughts and look at him. When the stoic-faced knight's eyes remained on the door, Ichijou shook his head and walked past him.
"See you later, Kaname…" He waved, snapping Kaname out of his thoughts.
Kaname nodded in return, leaning into the wall.
"Here to feed me again?"
Recognizing her voice, he turned his head and watched as the queen and her team of maids approached him. She was dressed in a midnight blue gown that reached the floor; her hair was loose and wavy, cascading down her chest while a small crown adorned her petite head. Faintly he could detect color in her cheeks that had grown fuller the past months.
"If that is your wish, your highness, I will gladly grant it to you," he quipped, watching her mouth briefly turn into a knowing smile.
"You're ruining my image of the broken woman who wears the crown," she tsked, halting in front of the door. "Even the royal physician is impressed with my weight gain. I told him I owe it all to you."
Over the past few months, Kaname had more or less force-fed the queen during their daily walks in the gardens. Usually, the queen would ignore the food and beverages that were brought to her in the garden, preferring instead to sit on her blanket and gaze emptily ahead of herself.
Determined to aid her health, Kaname had begun offering her the food, like a mother feeding a petulant child. As expected, she'd been stubborn and refused at first, but his patience was greater than her pride. Eventually she succumbed – she'd take a bite here and there, and depending on her mood, she'd eat whole meals with his assistance.
The bond between them was growing more forcefully than ever. And he delighted in it.
"Your health is my priority, Jouusama," he said. "The rounder you get, the happier I get."
Yuuki rolled her eyes and huffed, still to this day annoyed about his obsession with her weight. She turned towards her maids with a cold face.
"Your services are not needed for now. Please retire to your quarters." She ordered elegantly.
The maids blushed and bowed, exiting quietly through the hallway.
Kaname held her door open and watched her enter, his eyes trailing after her long skirt as she disappeared inside her suite. He liked this color on her, he decided, watching the fabric sparkle in the light.
"Close the door, knight," the queen ordered softly from inside the suite.
Realizing that he'd forgotten himself, he promptly closed the door and leaned back against the wall, his lips sealed into a thin line.
This was happening far too frequently for his liking. He'd forget himself and slip up whenever he got lost in his thoughts – thoughts that evolved around her beauty and allure. Though he'd gone through years of hard training and practice, he found it harder and harder to resist her undeniable charm and beauty as his relationship with her deepened.
He was so used to being around the queen that going without her made him feel hollow. When the king requested his presence for meetings, he'd stay silent in the corner and wonder about her whereabouts. When the king ordered him to accompany him on travels and attacks, he'd worry about her health and welfare, concerned that if he missed a day of feeding her she'd revert back to her old habits of refusing food.
Immense relief flooded him whenever he was reunited with her; and though he couldn't do much to express it, he kept it locked inside his heart whenever her eyes met his after a long time apart and she smiled secretly in recognition.
His affection for the queen was growing endlessly; heightened all the more by each side he uncovered about her. Their companionship was easy; they could sit for hours in silence and he would full fully content just spending the time with her. The queen, too, seemed at ease with him – as evidenced by Ichijou's description of her as the 'ice queen' because she wouldn't let the green-eyed knight in.
Yuuki was far from an'ice queen'. She was warm and good on the inside; sweet like cherries and delightful like the sun rising in the morning.
She just didn't display that side of her anymore. Not to strangers, at least.
Her cry interrupted his musings.
At once his body tensed; his eyes widened as his ears perked, trying to decipher her call. She'd dismissed her maids for the evening, presumably to take her bath in private…
"Ah!"
He twitched at her gasp; heart beating in his chest, he pushed open the door and entered the suite.
What if she was under attack? After all, she was alone and defenseless; spies and assassins could easily enter an open window without her knowledge.
Or what if she'd fallen ill? Or if she hurt herself?
The image of her lying on the floor, lifeless and unresponsive sent sheer terror through his veins.
He ran to the suite, checking for her. The door to the connected bathroom door was open; in panic, he wrenched it open and looked inside.
He watched as the queen – safe and in no harm, coherent and healthy – straightened from where she'd been leaning against a counter from her almost-fall. She shook her head, rattling her luxurious curls as she stepped over to the tiny pool that depressed the floor in a circle.
Kaname breathed a quiet sigh of relief as the knowledge of her safety calmed his senses. His shoulders relaxed from their tense position as he grabbed the shirt above his heart, thanking the gods that she was safe.
And then the queen – oblivious to his presence – lowered her white silk-robe and let it fall to the floor, revealing her naked back and behind.
Kaname's eyes widened as he saw a woman naked for the first time. Though he'd seen drawings that were passed between the soldiers during their training days, and he'd witnessed the occasional slip of flesh whenever the councilmen called geishas to their celebrations, he'd never really seen a woman naked in the flesh.
A part of his devotion to the crown meant celibacy and abstaining from carnal desires.
The queen sunk into the bath, turning briefly to reach for the soap; his eyes latched onto the visible mounds of flesh that came to view, staring in fascination at the perk nipples that stuck out from her breasts.
He swallowed at the sight of her figure; her flesh was so milky and soft-looking, her body curvaceous and lovely…
In his haze of lust and desire he realized that he was committing a grave sin by lingering at the threshold. Not only was he gazing at the naked body of a woman, but also it was the Queen.
The Queen he was not allowed to desire or love. The woman he was assigned to protect.
He recognized the stirrings of desire waking in his body; if he stayed a second longer he wouldn't know what to do with himself. The need to touch and to taste her grew exponentially the longer he witnessed her deliciously feminine figure.
He backed out of the bathroom as quickly as possible, thanking the stars that she hadn't noticed him. Once he was safely in the suite, he ran to the hallway and shut the door, wiping away the sweat on his forehead that he wasn't sure had accumulated because of the heat of her bathroom, or the hot lust that clouded his mind from witnessing the perfection that was her body.
Kaname panted and shut his eyes, willing the image of her naked flesh to go away, but nothing helped. His mind filled out the rest of what his memory could not obtain; he could see the steam envelop her silken flesh as she lowered herself into the water; the sweat as is sizzled down her curves, in the dip of her waist and the roundness of her hips…
Then, he started thinking about the what ifs. What if he'd revealed himself, what would she do? What if he, too, stripped and joined her – would she accept him?
And if she did… what would she sound like? What would she taste like?
The image of her face twisting with pleasure as he touched her sent a jolt of electricity through his limbs. Closing his eyes, he could imagine his hands roaming the expanse of her body; grasping her breasts and trailing down her sides, stilling between her legs where he knew he could find paradise…
Wrenching his eyes open, Kaname shook his head and panted, anxiously trying to calm himself. He could not stay a second longer outside her door, knowing that she was naked just two doors away.
Luckily, rescue had arrived as another guard had patrolled the hallway. Quickly, Kaname had instructed him to replace his post and ran far away. He'd explain to the king later that he'd been feeling unwell, and that he'd taken a bath to calm his fake fever.
For now, he needed to purify his mind.
Such thoughts were improper for him to harbor. The queen's body belonged to her husband and no one else; he was the only one that was allowed to see her bare and exposed – not some filthy lust-filled guard outside her chambers.
Unable to bear the pain any more, the dark-haired knight stepped out of the freezing water, his nude frame glistening from the water's tears. Though it had helped calm him, he still felt his rebellious thoughts stir to life from time to time. With his mouth set in a firm line, he decided he would volunteer on the king's raid on the Shirabuki clan. It would serve him ample opportunity to distract his mind, and it would also offer him some distance from the queen.
"You must always remember your place in the palace, Kaname. You must remain in the shadows, unseen and invisible – and when the time comes, you strike…"
His father was adamant about Kaname challenging his half-brother; but how could he? He was no more than a soldier, born out of an affair the king had with his concubine mother. In the eyes of society he was barely worthy enough of protecting the king, much less being the king.
During his final years, Haruka would go on and on about his hopes and dreams for Kaname. Naïve and foolish, Kaname had detested the way his father spoke about his half-brother Rido – surely he was capable enough to handle the crown? How could his father – who raised Kaname with affection and care – who loved his mother fiercely and wholeheartedly – be so cruel towards his own son?
But Kaname was naïve no more.
"Why won't you fix me!? Why won't you fix me, you useless whore!?"
"Ousama, forgive me… I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…."
Where lust and desire had previously reigned, hatred and anger unfurled like fire in his chest. With his fists curled, Kaname concentrated his energy on his anger as the king's frustrated yells and the queen's quiet sobs echoed in his mind.
For two years, he'd listened to the King abuse and beat the queen whenever his moodswings occurred. For two years, he'd stood by her door and listened with his fists clenched tightly together at his sides, unable to do a damn thing.
Yuuki's face flashed in his mind; caught in one of the rare moments she genuinely smiled at him from the bottom of her blackened heart.
His purpose above anything would be protecting the queen. There was no use in falling for her or dreaming about her – ultimately, their union wasn't meant to be. He could not waste time drowning himself in desire over her enticing flesh – he needed to stay focused and alert on his duty in order to protect her.
He stepped out of the river and shivered violently, yet it didn't stop him from gazing at the moon as he whispered fiercely into the night.
"I will give my life for you if I have to, Jouusama Yuuki. This I guarantee."
"I haven't done anything wrong, I swear! I swear!" The man yelled, rattling the chains holding him up against the wall. "Show mercy, please!"
"Spilling the secrets of the kingdom to the enemy is an act of betrayal towards your king. Therefore, you must pay the price."
The man shivered at the cold voice; he watched as a man came down the stairs, his slow steps echoing in the darkness. The candle next to him flickered briefly; idly he wondered if it was the devil that was coming to claim his soul and bring him into burning hell.
He almost wished it were.
The knight came into view in the low light provided by the candle; black robes adorned his slim and tall body – the royal emblem was sealed around his waist, showing off his loyalty to the crown. The black rose embedded onto the gold plate told him it was the flower of the reigning king – Kuran Rido.
Then this had to be…
"No, no," the man begged, eyes widening as he recognized the cold expression on the approaching man. "Not the black knight, please, no…"
"Do you confess your sin?" The knight spoke quietly, his lips barely moving and his eyes hid beneath heavy bangs.
"M'lord, I didn't do anything, I swear! I swear!" The man repeated from earlier, kicking at the shackles around his feet.
"Lying to me won't do you any good. Kurosawa Hiro, you are accused of aiding the Shirabuki clan in finding the Kuran kingdom's hidden weapon treasury. As a result, the kingdom has lost a mass amount of weapons, leaving us at a higher risk of attack. If you confess, your punishment will be less severe."
"I…" The man blinked, sweat gathering at his temples and sailing down his cheeks and chin. "I… I'm guilty. I'm guilty," he confessed, "but… I did it for… you see, my child – my daughter, my only daughter, she's very ill and my family is very poor… Oh please, M'lord, you must understand – the Shirabukis offered money I could not refuse! My daughter, she… she suffers so much and–"
"I am not your Lord or superior, please do not address me as such," the knight cut in smoothly.
"But…" The man's eyes widened in wonder. "But you are the black knight that has been protecting us; thanks to you, the opposing clans have stayed away from our crops; because of you, wars have been evaded and injuries have been healed. You… you are the half-brother of the king, yet you are everything good that he is not. The people love yo–"
"How did you know?" Kaname said, brows furrowing.
"Know that they love you? Well, it's pr-"
"Know of my relation to the king. How?"
The man paled and nodded quietly. "Ah, M'Lord, it is the truth. I was unsure for a while but… looking at your face right now, I can tell you share the same features of the late King Haruka Kuran. May his soul rest in peace."
Kaname exhaled sharply. "No matter who my relatives are, I am still an ordained knight. My past does not exist and thus it shall not interfere with my future. I am the King's right hand and no more."
The man's face sobered; an undeniable sadness claimed his features as he gazed into the knight's eyes. "Don't you know? His reign will be the end of us. Our people suffer at his greedy hands; we starve and we die while he builds shrines and temples to himself. Can you justify serving such a king, my lord?"
Kaname clenched his hands at the title. "I am no lo-"
"The stars were unfair to you," the man breathed quietly, "favoring your vile brother instead of you. Because of this, the people suffer. Among them, the queen…"
"What do you know of the queen!?" Kaname hissed, drawing his sword sharply and pointing the tip beneath the man's chin.
The man pursed his lips. "Ah… if you are to survive in the palace, you need better control of your emotions. Your affection for the queen will be your downfall if you do not contain it. I only–"
"I've had it with your mind games," Kaname sneered, applying pressure to his sword. "This is no political discussion. You are sentenced to true death by the king for treason. I shall allow you a few final words before your death."
The man smiled wistfully, accepting his faith. Locking his eyes with the knight, the man spoke: "I forgive you for what you must do. I hope I leave behind a world where my daughter can be safe and healthy. I shall leave that task to you, dark knight. Rise up from the position they forced you into."
Kaname inhaled and exhaled deeply as he watched the elder man close his eyes in contentment. His gut wrenched at the thought of the task ahead of him, yet he felt the strength of his arms return as the need to carry out his order surfaced. Thoughts of the queen lingered in his mind; if people knew of his affection for her, what vile rumors could be spread through the villages then? He needed to act carefully in the future; withdraw completely and keep a close eye on her still. As for rising from his position…
"Well, boy, are you go–"
The man's words were cut off by the sound of Kaname's blade swiping through flesh and bone. Blood spurted from the man's artery, staining the knight who somberly stared at the floor. The man's eyes widened as life left his body; he twitched as the sword pierced his heart for good measure, blood pooling out of his mouth and seeping onto his clothes.
The sword clanked as it fell lifelessly on the floor, the silver covered in deep merlot. Wiping his hands, the knight gritted his teeth together before turning on the spot and exiting the ominous dungeon, his steps slow and sluggish.
Rise? He could never do such a thing. One look at his bloodstained hands was more than enough proof that he could never be a righteous king.
He belonged in the shadows; with death and misery as his companions, and nothing else.
These hands of mine do not deserve to touch the queen; she is too pure and good.
As he walked up the stairs from underground, sunshine filtered down and blinded him. He squinted at the radiance, long locks of mahogany hair clouding his vision as the sun warmed his blood-soaked clothes.
Despite all of this… I want to free her from her pain, more than anything.
The light that welcomed him was reminiscent of the queen's vibrant eyes whenever she eyed him and smiled her secretive smile. The warmth seeping through his clothes reminded him of her quiet laughter and alluring beauty; of shared silent moments where words were not necessary between them.
Yes – the queen was his only light and only reason to continue his dreadful existence of murder and misery. Even if the king ordered him to murder the entire country, he would do so in a heartbeat if it meant keeping her out of harm's way.
Such was her hold on him.
I know no longer of a life without you in it, my queen. My desire to keep you safe and warm is overpowering me.
"I'm very pleased you decided to join me," the king smirked, sampling his wine.
Next to him, the knight nodded mutely in reply.
"Your skills will be needed in this mission; guaranteeing your safety is not within my powers, so I ask that you thread carefully with your decision, brother."
"The Shirabuki clan have stirred enough trouble for you, your majesty. Even halting the construction of your temple and stealing from your people; it is time we put an end to them, and I will do my best to ensure that we will be victorious, your highness," Kaname promised solemnly.
"Mmh…" The king hummed, gazing into the red liquor in his glass. "I wasn't wrong in choosing you as my right hand and the queen's guard. How useful it is to have such a skilled brother, ne?" Rido chuckled viciously. "You know, the royal advisors told me to have you killed and dump your body somewhere, since you could be a threat to my position. But you…" Rido tipped his head and eyed the knight next to him, red and blue eyes soaking up every detail about his stoic half-brother. "You are just like your mother. Whenever my father beckoned her into his chambers, she came willingly like a dog salivating at a bone. The same applies to you – I order you to kill, and you do it without question. Your hands become stained with blood, while mine…" Rido stretched out his bejeweled white hand and studied it briefly. "Remain perfectly untainted. There is a certain… justice in that, no?"
Kill for the king, he did. Sometimes it felt like Rido ordered him to kill just for the sake of watching Kaname's hands darken with sin; his kill count had increased to the point where he no longer was certain about the number of his victims. If a councilmember disobeyed, Rido ordered Kaname to finish them off in the dark.
If they were so lucky to catch a traitor in the kingdom, Kaname was the one to pull their tongues out and end their lives.
Priests, commoners; enemies and trespassers – Rido was merciless in his hit list, seemingly enjoying the fact that his brother would do anything for him.
It made it harder to breathe.
Ichijou constantly wondered how Kaname could stand watching over the queen during the night and day; the truth was that Kaname hardly slept anymore. He hardly slept because he couldn't breathe; the guilt was constantly suffocating him, clamping down on his windpipes and leaving him gasping for air and absolution in the darkness.
Whenever he looked at his hands, all he saw was nothing but blood – rich and heady, the sin of having taken a life refusing to dry away from his scarred hands. He didn't enjoy it – but he did it because it was all he could offer to the crown.
Because he was filth, and his brother was not.
"I apologize for my late arrival," came a silky voice across the room.
The king's relaxed frame stiffened; his lazy grin turned in a straight line as his eyes feasted on the man across the room.
Kaname sensed the shift in his brother and curiously followed his line of sight.
"Ousama."
The mysterious man smiled secretively as he bowed his head in respect towards the king, silky locks of ash-blonde hair cascading down his back, only held together by a hair tie. His blue and silver yukata displayed his wealth and power; the fine silk of his hair and the aristocratic features of his face spoke of his wealthy upbringing; the room quieted in his alluring presence.
"Isaya-sama," the king whispered in wonder.
Kaname eyed the king suspiciously, puzzled by his demeanor and use of honorific. Who was this man?
"I do hope you saved me a seat, your highness," Isaya spoke, the lines on his face deepening with his smile. He seemed to be in his late 40s, yet one look at his appearance could have one fooled. The pale complexion of his skin paired with his mystifying aura sowed doubt in the hearts of many; some whispered that he was a youkai gifted with endless beauty, while others argued that his noble Shouto blood was the source of his fortune.
"O-of course," the king stuttered before gesturing with his hand. "Have any one you like, Isaya-sama."
"No need to be so formal," the man chuckled gracefully, floating to his seat. "You are king now, after all. No longer the boy I used to watch over…"
Rido's fist tightened. "Indeed, time has passed… However, your contributions to the crown and the country have remained steadfast and highly appreciated. This country would not survive without your support, Isaya-sama."
Isaya only smiled enigmatically, grey eyes twinkling with hidden meaning. "Oh, what did I do? Offering some land and freeing people here and there are no big concern of mine. My greatest desire is to see our country grow and expand, along with our reliable king on the throne."
Rido cleared his throat. "Well… yes, that is… a great vision." He averted his eyes and quieted, oblivious to the watchful eyes of the knight next to him.
"Lords!" He called suddenly, as if remembering something important. "To celebrate the return of my dear friend, let's have a feast unlike no other on this night!"
"What a great idea, Ousama!"
"Certainly, let's all celebrate!"
"Such a wonderful occasion!"
"All of this, for me?" Isaya smirked, his eyes never straying from the king. "My, my… you do know how to please me."
The feast, like all others, lasted well into the late hours of the night. The palace buzzed with activity upon the news of the head of the Shouto clan returning to the capital; maidens and servants scurried around, tidying up the mess left behind by joyous nobles and their celebratory gifts.
The councilmen were slurring and cursing their wives as the hot caress of young courtesans enticed their senses with their fragrant bodies and soft skin. Wine spilled on expensive and rare rugs to the laughter of the men, while vases were thrown and flowers were scattered on the floor.
It was not an unusual sight in the palace, however Kaname still felt unease move through his body.
The king, although seemingly happy and content with the activity surrounded him, remained quiet and withdrawn in hidden moments when no one were looking. Intuition warned Kaname not to ask questions, and so he remained quietly in the shadows, observing the people around him.
Things seemed to change the minute Isaya walked over to the king. The two men exchanged a few words; as per usual, Isaya's smile was enigmatic – Kaname could not completely understand the man's demeanor and presence, but it vexed him. Something about him seemed to exude a certain maliciousness that he hadn't encountered in years.
Then, there was Rido, who seemed to shrink in his seat despite the pleasant smile on his face. His hand hastily grabbed the bottle of sake with a rapid pace throughout the night; and as he did so, his shoulders finally lowered into their usual position, as he seemed to relax from the lull of alcohol in his system.
Kaname could not discern their words, but the men's body language puzzled him as he studied them. There seemed to be a hidden tension between them despite the pleasant smiles and flattery being exchanged, and he wondered why.
Eventually, the enigmatic man of the night retired to his quarters, though the drunken nobles and councilmen were too occupied by other distractions to even notice his departure. The king sat quietly in his chair, lips pursed and eyes lost in a far away reality in the chaos around him, not offering a single word or sound even when prompted.
The pressure of his hands crushed the wineglass in his hand, yet he didn't seem to notice it until servants rushed over with bandages and ointment. Angrily, he waved them away and got up from his chair, swaying on his feet as he slurred orders.
The look in his eyes… the slump of his shoulders… the furrow of his brows…
Kaname's heart galloped as he watched the king head out, going in the direction of the queen's chambers yet again.
But only this time… something felt off.
This time, as he ran to catch up with the king, he felt sheer terror run through his body at the thought of the king entering the queen's chambers.
This time… he feared for her life.
The king was angrier than usual.
She knew because of his silence.
His presence alone frightened her; quietly she sat on her bed, watching him as he paced around the room in silence. Her heart jumped when he paused, only to resume its regular beat whenever he began pacing again.
The silence stretched on for ages, as did her fear, which grew in her chest and spread through her veins.
Is this the night when you finally do me justice? Are you going to end my life?
The king halted in the middle of the room, his face turned towards one of the walls as the queen eyed his sullen profile.
Rido exhaled as if he'd been holding his breath for a hundred years.
"I thought it would be fine, but…" He mumbled quietly. "I thought everything would fall into place, but still there's…" Claws grasped at his robes as he struggled to breathe. "There's this thing inside of me, screaming and yelling and… sometimes I manage to quiet it, but then he comes along and…"
He paused, staring off into space as if he was the only man on earth.
However, he wasn't alone.
"Y-your majesty," Yuuki began hesitantly, "is… is there anything I can do for you? Do… do you need he-"
"Help?" Rido's head snapped over his shoulder. "Help?" He repeated, eyes furious.
Yuuki bit her tongue, fighting the urge to cower in fear.
Then, he threw his head back and cackled manically, his laughter echoing of the walls. "Help! Do I need help? From you? Ha! Ha ha ha!"
His wicked grin turned into a menacing scowl. "Because of him… because of you… I am humiliated. Me, the king! Have you ever heard of a king who is ridiculed by his own subjects!? Have you?"
She lowered her eyes in panic, afraid of looking him into his eyes and upsetting him further. "N-no…"
"Exactly!" Rido hissed, storming over to the bed where she sat quietly. He yanked her chin up and looked into her eyes. The hatred and anger that reflected from his red and azure orbs made Yuuki freeze as she felt through horror sear through her body.
"Do you know what I must do?" He whispered menacingly. "Answer me!"
"N-no, your highn-"
He slapped her face, the hit echoing in the silence of the room.
"I need to take back my title. Reclaim my respect." He pushed up the sleeves of his robe, revealing his toned arms as he cracked his knuckles. "And I'll start by teaching you a lesson for humiliating me…"
She quivered with fear, staring up at him from where she cowered on the floor, completely at his mercy.
The next thing she saw was his fist colliding with her cheek as he screamed in victory, pain blooming from her bruise as she cried out.
As Yuuki looked into the eyes of her husband, she knew for certain that she would not live to see another day.
And if he didn't finish the job tonight, then she would surely take the matters into her own hands by morning.
By the time Kaname had arrived, the king had already started his torture session. He heard her whimpers and sobs; overpowered by Rido's maniacal laugher and words of hatred. The sounds of furniture crashing against the floor; wood being ripped apart, candles scattering from their respective places… he heard it all, and felt his heart break with it.
As he stood there, he contemplated breaking his oath that he would never go against the king. For the life of him, he could not endure another moment of such agony knowing that the queen he adored was surely being beaten to death right behind the door in front of him.
Bracing himself, he pulled the handle, only to find himself falling backwards as the king stormed out of the room.
Wild eyes barely registered Kaname as the king stumbled through the hallways, muttering incoherent words to himself and scaring the maids who happened to come in his way.
Ignoring the urge to run after the king and confront him, Kaname shook his head and opened the door, rushing into the room.
"Jouusama!" He called when he spotted her hunched over form next to the bed on the floor.
Quickly he crouched next to her, momentarily surveying the path of destruction Rido had left behind from his rage. Furniture was tossed aside; unlit candles rolled like debris on the wooden panels; pillows were scattered all over, while paintings hung loosely from their perch on the walls.
It was like a hurricane had entered the room and left destruction behind.
It was not the room, nor its pillows and furniture and whatnots that had suffered the king's wrath the most.
"Leave…" Came a small voice from the quivering body next to him.
It was the queen.
Carefully he tried wrenching her hands away from her eyes, but to no avail.
"Leave…" Her broken whisper came, accompanied by a sob.
When you are in this state…
Stubbornly, he tried again, carefully prying away her hands.
… it kills me.
"I said leave!" She yelled as loudly as she could, her voice broken from the king's grip on her throat. "At once!"
"No…" The knight whispered solemnly, gripping her arms more forcefully.
"Are you deaf? Are you dumb!?" She yelled, her face still hidden behind her dark locks. "Why won't you just leave already!? Leave me alone!"
I cannot do such a thing… don't you understand?
Using enough force so he didn't hurt her, he finally managed to wrench her arms away from her visage, holding them out in the air. Instinctively, the queen lowered her head further, hiding her face away from him.
And then he waited. Gently holding her arms away from her face, he waited until she was ready; he would not leave that spot until she had revealed her damages to him so he could do his best to fix them. He would not leave until he knew she was all right, and until she knew that he would not leave her alone – ever.
He watched her chest fall and rise slowly as she calmed herself. Finally, as if a seed springing to life from beneath the earth's surface, she raised her face slowly, her eyes meeting his tentatively.
It was almost unbearable. Her right cheek was red and slightly swollen – a bruise already forming no doubt. Her lower lip bled while her neck seemed to glow almost red from the king's gruesome grip on her windpipe.
But the worst part was her eyes – the fright and terror that reigned in them as she let him watch her in her most vulnerable moment.
Kaname remained quiet as his eyes softened with sorrow; to think that someone would ever lay a hand on the magnificent woman in front of him was beyond him. Furthermore, the fear that reflected in her eyes made his stomach churn; she was supposed to be happy and smiling, her eyes shining with joy and mirth – not eternal grief and haunting terror.
Tears trickled from her eyes.
"Do you see now?" She whispered hoarsely as he lowered their linked hands. "Do you see why I always long for this life of mine to end?"
Tenderly, he raised his hand towards her cheek. She watched his digits approach her, tensing as he touched the tender spot on her cheek. His fingers caught her wayward tears; brushing them away as if they were never there.
Yuuki couldn't fathom the emotion in his eyes. It shifted from sadness to rage to a tenderness that she felt was all too familiar. Sometimes these ranges of emotion blended into one look that she felt enabled him to see right through her soul.
The last thing she wanted was for him to see her so vulnerable. The sting of the king's slap warmed her skin and made her feel sick; yet it was nothing compared to the humiliation of having her own knight look at her with such pity.
For years she'd endured Rido's incessant mood swings; she'd accepted angry shouts of disappointment and dissatisfaction; remained quiet while he tore up her room or slapped her for being such a useless woman.
But tonight…
Tonight would be the night he killed her, she'd thought as he rattled her like a doll and threw her around like bag of deadweight.
And for the first time in forever, she'd felt sweet relief wash over her body.
But nothing in her life went according to her wishes; the king didn't kill her this time around either, but the wounds and scars he left behind felt almost like a knife to her throat.
Then, against expectation and surely against the palace rules, the knight had rushed into her chambers, forcing her out of the web of darkness she'd spun for herself.
She sniffled and sobbed under his watchful eyes. "I'm no good," she sobbed, her shoulders shaking, "I'm not good enough; I'll never be… I'm just in the way, and I… I… I can't live like this anymore! I can't…"
He clenched her arms, his sorrowful eyes scanning her face. "Please, don't say that. Please…"
"Why not!?" She yelled, her face red. "I can't take this anymore! Why… why must I suffer so much? What did I do to deserve this?"
"Nothing," Kaname whispered fiercely, gathering her in his arms as he hugged her tightly, careful not to touch any tender spots. She sobbed into his chest, her eyes clenched together as tears streamed down her cheeks.
"You've done nothing wrong, Jouusama. You don't deserve this. Nobody does," he said, rocking her slowly. Beneath his calm composure, fury burned hotly in his veins, gathering in his fingertips. He wanted to badly to chase after the king; with his own hands, he wanted to strangle the king until there was no more life in him left. He wanted to watch him stutter in horror and fear, just like how he made the queen live in misery because of his own pain.
He wanted to kill his brother.
The thought scared him beyond rational thought.
But the broken sobs of the woman in his arms fueled his hatred.
She withdrew from his arms, wiping her eyes. "I have nothing to live for… nothing. And I have no one by my side…. I have no family; no home; no one that loves me and keeps me safe. Nothing…." She sobbed.
Her words pierced right through his chest. An unfamiliar ache settled permanently in his heart as he watched her.
But you have me, he wanted to say so desperately, you have me and I will never leave you.
But he could not find the words.
"Why should I even continue living like this!? I am better off de-"
Maroon eyes widened as the pressure of his lips on hers registered in her mind. She froze, completely unmoving as shock rattled her system.
His kiss was gentle, yet desperate.
She'd never been kissed like this before.
All too soon, he tore himself away before she even had the time to respond, his composure failing as it seemed as if he'd realized what he was doing.
Kaname's eyes were wide in shock as he stared at her, his forearms supporting him on the wooden floor.
He lowered his head to floor. "Your highness, I'm sorry. I should not have done such a thing, I… Forgive me!"
Years of feelings accumulated in that moment when he'd been staring at her; his protective side had roared to life at seeing her in such a state, and the need to reassure her and prove his unwavering affection had manifested in the form of his sudden kiss. He hadn't meant to kiss her, nor had he planned on it; but his body had acted on its own accord, ignoring the rules of the palace and the promise he'd made towards celibacy.
In that moment, all he'd wanted to do was to kiss her. Consequences be damned.
But now that he had woken up from his haze, Kaname struggled with regret.
"I was out of line, and I deserve to be punished. Whatever punishment you deem fit, Joousa-"
"Do it again."
Her voice, merely above a whisper, cut him off. He tensed, staring at the floor in confusion as he repeated her words in her mind.
The touch of her hand upon his scalp sent shivers down his spine. Slowly he peeked up at her, unable to maintain his emotional mask of indifference as he wondered about her meaning.
Yuuki's flushed face met his; her cheeks were red, the right cheek maintaining a deeper shade of scarlet due to the king's fist; her rosy lips were parted as small breaths of air escaped, her chest rising more rapid than usual.
Warm brown eyes, freshly bathed in her tears gazed at him with all the honesty in the world.
"Do it again," she repeated, her voice low.
The implication of her words sent his heart into a frenzy. Kaname shook his head to distract himself.
"Kiss me," she begged, scooting closer, "again. Please."
His inner turmoil reflected in his lowered garnet eyes. "I… Joousama, I cannot do such a thing. I'm ju–"
"Please," she begged again, gripping his shirt and forcing him to look at her. The salt of her tears permeated the room; he watched her pained face up close as a new desperation grabbed a hold of her.
And she was still so beautiful.
"Please," she begged against his hot mouth, their breaths intermingling.
When desire rules the body, order is disrupted and chaos is created. But I…
Her proximity killed the last of his will. Once again, he kissed her lips, this time bringing his right arm around her bodice as his left hand cradled her face gently.
I want this chaos. Whatever it is she gives me, I want it all.
Against his mouth, Yuuki quivered with need. Before he'd kissed her, she'd been in a web of darkness; plotting her own demise as a way of coping with the trauma induced by the king on this night. Her aching body aided her; the pain in her joints whispered that it was time that she let go of her life in search of a better one on the other side. It was time to give up completely.
But then he'd kissed her. Her knight, her silent comrade – her only loyal follower and protector – had rushed into the room and forced her out of her darkness. And when he'd kissed her, the initial surprise she felt had been replaced with a newfound energy and a need to feel a connection to him.
All her life, she'd never been touched nor properly kissed. The king had stained her lips a few times briefly, but his kisses reeked of disgust and obligation.
But this was different. The quiet desperation in Kaname as he'd gripped her had woken her up form her stupor; suddenly she felt desired – and it felt so good. Immediately, she was dying for more; dying to feel his lips on her again to validate the notion that she was actually wanted and needed.
She was dying to be touched. To feel loved, and not tossed aside like some pawn in the king's game.
"Ah..." She panted against his lips when he released her for air. Yuuki wasted no time and attacked his mouth again, her hands tangling in his mahogany hair.
With every kiss, Kaname burned all over. Any notion of icecold waterfalls and chastity flew out of his grasp the longer she latched onto him. For years he'd bottled up his wavering feelings for the queen; silently he'd watched her be broken down day after day by the king, only to find a certain contentment in him whenever she offered him one of her beautiful but rare smiles.
But she was still the queen; she still belonged to the king – his half-brother – while he was no more than a knight who killed for a living.
He broke apart from her embrace, panting as he did so.
"Your highness, we cannot do this… Please, punish me–"
"Am I not good enough for you either?" Came her solemn whisper.
"That's not it," he breathed. "It is I who are no good for you, my queen. I can't possibly taint you–"
"But I want you to," she whispered hotly against his mouth, her eyes glowing with desire. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her covered breasts. Instinctively, he grabbed her breast and shuddered at the supple roundness of it. He breathed harshly as he fought to control himself, his heart and mind at war.
"Touch me…" The queen whispered in his ear, her arms around his neck. "Please, please, please…"
This was a sin. If they were discovered, both of them would be punished. He would lose his life at the hands of the king, and there would be nothing left. Moreover, all the years he'd spent building his willpower and strength would go to waste if he gave in. The right thing to do was to step away; leave her alone in her room and resume his role of silent protector. If he followed such a path of righteousness, balance would be restored.
But the feeling of her body against his; the hot sensation of her breath upon his skin; the alluring note in her voice; even if she was vulnerable and scared, she was still extraordinarily beautiful, just like the day when he'd first laid eyes upon her. To think that she was offering herself freely to him; begging him to take her even if he was no more than a lowly servant in her eyes made his heart race…
"Please… Kaname…"
Hearing his name tumble from her lips sent a shock through his body. It was uncommon for royals to address their servants by their first name, and through the last years he'd served her, she'd never been informal with him.
In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he'd been called by his first name. The last time he'd been treated as an actual human being rather than dirt under the king's shoe…
Perhaps it was the scent of her perfume; the curves of her body; or the way she said his name… but in that moment, Kaname abandoned all rational thought.
Yuuki gasped as he lifted her up and threw her on the bed; her heartbeat increasing when he covered her body with his; his eyes wild as they locked with hers. In that moment, she realized that he was giving in; he was allowing her the thing she wanted the most – to be touched and caressed – despite the consequences that would arise.
As he stilled above her, his mouth lingering upon hers, she saw the silent question in his eyes.
Is this really what you want?
Her eyes softened as she caressed his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed briefly, and she was instantly struck by his vulnerability. For such a long time he'd served her silently, though there were moments where he managed to open her heart. She hadn't known it at the time, but she soon discovered that his presence in her life was slowly mending her broken spirit. The reassurance of having him always near; the stability of his gaze when he pecked at her protective shell; his secretive smiles whenever he was able to make her laugh – unknowingly to him, he had become her most important companion in the palace; the rock she held onto in her ever-chaotic life.
Did she want this?
Yes.
He opened his eyes only to find her mouth caressing his. That was all he needed to continue.
Their kisses grew heated; his tongue explored the cavern of her mouth as she moaned, her fingers twisting in his hair. His eager hands explored her body, trailing down her curves.
His mouth traced down her neck; she cried out when he found a sore spot from the king's abuse. Instantly, he slowed his pace and reduced the pressure of his mouth, caressing the skin as gently as possible.
She relaxed in his arms, touched by his concern for her wellbeing.
He seemed to hesitate all of a sudden; his eyes locked upon the opening of her nightgown as he contemplated how to proceed.
Bravely, she opened the buttons in the front. Garnet eyes gazed up at her in wonder, awe evident in his expression as he watched her. His hesitation seemed to fuel her; boldly, she grabbed his hand and placed it inside the opening of her dress.
Kaname's composed expression faltered as he felt her breast. He rubbed the flesh, aroused by their suppleness and the sounds that emitted from her throat as he did so. Impatiently, he ripped open the front of her dress, revealing her breasts to him.
His lips dipped down and captured her right nipple; Yuuki gasped as a result, twitching on the bed.
He switched to the other nipple, fascinated by her reaction. To think, days ago he'd watched her bathe naked on accident and fantasized about it ever since, and now he was actually touching her and making her moan…
The knowledge of his fantasy being fulfilled spurred him on. Yuuki moaned at his intensity, her fingers pulling at his tresses. He delighted in the slight pain, loving her possessive touch.
She pulled him up and kissed him harshly, her hands finding their way to his shirt. She fumbled with the buttons before impatiently tugging at the fabric, tearing it up. The sound disturbed the silence of her chambers, but for Kaname it only served to arouse him further.
He assisted her in discarding the item, briefly pulling away from their kiss to throw away his shirt.
The look in her eyes made him still above her.
Her fingers reached out and touched the scars on his chest and arms; one finger tracing the biggest one alongside his right rib. Nervously, he tried to decode her reaction; her face seemed to be lost in wonder and curiosity – he couldn't decide how she felt about them.
Would she find him disgusting? Did his scars not make him worthy of a queen's touch after all?
His insecurities got the best of him as he began pulling away; but the clutch of her arms arrested him in place. Warily, he glanced over at her, only to find her earnest eyes meeting his.
She urged him to switch positions, pushing him down onto the mattress.
With baited breath, he watched as she lowered herself on him, her mouth tracing each scar, big and small. His eyes fluttered at the action, the softness of her lips upon his skin soothing his senses.
When her lips found the largest scar on his rib, she paused, maroon eyes gazing up at him.
He met her eyes, unsure of what she meant, his brows furrowing together at the knowledge that she was witnessing his greatest vulnerability.
Scars were unfit and unsuitable; in their society, scars were eyesores that left nobles uncomfortable.
On warriors like himself they were common because they belonged there. He was no more than a vile murderer and fighter. His hands were tainted and so was the rest of his body.
A beautiful maiden like the queen wasn't supposed to witness such ugliness.
She smiled softly at him before lowering her lips to his scar and kissing it, her lips lingering on the red skin.
Kaname's breath caught at the action. It was so tender and intimate that he didn't quite know how to process it. He'd expected the queen to be disgusted with his ugly scars; he'd already pictured how she'd throw him out of the room and condemn him for even thinking he could be good enough for her, but she'd taken him completely off guard by her actions.
No one had ever looked at him the way she did just now. No one had ever seen his scars the way she had, and no one had accepted him the way she had just did.
All his life, he'd been cast aside in the shadows; his body a canvas littered with evidence of his lowlife existence. He'd been told time and time again that he wasn't worthy of wealth and freedom; that his existence was a nuisance and the scars on his body fitting to his lowly status.
And now, the queen – the mother of their country, second in rank only to the king – was showering him with kisses as if he was actually more than a lowly servant.
His heart swelled uncomfortably.
Overwhelmed, he grabbed her and flipped their positions, kissing her fiercely. She responded with the same passion, her fingers knitting in his hair and tugging deliciously at it. He removed the rest of her gown with her assistance, pulling back from their kiss to look at her properly.
His memory hadn't served her justice.
She was by far more beautiful than he remembered from her bath; her milky white skin was flawless and untouched; her stomach flat and her hips round and supple. His eyes traced from her breasts to her sex, amazed at her beauty and the feelings the sight alone evoked inside of him.
Suddenly, there were no more feelings of being inferior or undeserving.
His alpha male instincts kicked in as he drowned in desire, entranced by her feminine curves. He wanted to take her and fill her endlessly until the whole world knew she was his.
Perhaps all her years of living in endless apathy had erased her shyness; as her knight stared at her body in fascination, Yuuki felt her confidence surge. The king would never give her the same look that Kaname had in his eyes; the look of desire and lust caused by her body.
For years, she'd dreamt of the day the king would take her and how he would praise her for taking such good care of her body. One day, she would proudly bear the heir to the nation and become even more valuable to him and the kingdom. It had all seemed so perfect in her mind.
But alas, such a day would never come. She was struck in the face by reality when the king revealed his desire for his comrades and guards.
Yuuki gave up hope. Her health and body deteriorated with her spirits; had it not been for the very knight towering above her, she would've died from malnutrition a long time ago. In her mind, it seemed only right that he was the one to claim her body. His silent care and nurture had helped her back to life, her body reclaiming its lost voluptuousness and fertility.
Kaname didn't know anything about touching a woman. But his instinct willed his fingers to explore the center between her legs; he exhaled shakily at the wetness that met his digits, trembling when the queen widened her legs for him.
Kissing down her neck, he drove his fingers inside of her, curiously peeking at her reaction. Red roses bloomed on her cheeks as she closed her eyes and moaned quietly. Yuuki twitched at the sensation and he continued, aroused by her movement and the knowledge of what his fingers were doing.
It gave him a tremendous amount of confidence watching her unravel the way she was doing right now. Deciding to test her limits, he flicked her sensitive nub, only to find her back arching off the bed as she mewled in ecstasy. Watching her was like watching art unfold in front of him; he reveled at the pleased expression on her face and the sweat that leaked down her temples; the sounds of her cries and the movements of muscles beneath ivory skin.
She was so beautiful. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her.
As his pace increased, Yuuki followed along, her body at his mercy. She no longer had any control, her hips and legs twitching against his hands as she lost herself. Pleasure spread from her neither region, blooming through her limbs – it was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before, and she loved it.
"Mm.. Ah, Kaname!" She moaned loudly when she reached her climax, climbing down from her high as he watched her.
He kissed her neck as she calmed down, her chest rising and falling as she panted. She glanced at his profile, entranced by his handsome features and alluring beauty. To think, years ago they were strangers – and now he was touching her in all the places she thought never would be touched.
It was pure insanity.
And she wanted more.
She grabbed his cheek and kissed him roughly, showing him that she wanted more. More of his touched and his kisses; more of his affection and desire – all that he could give her, consequences be damned.
He seemed to follow her train of thought as his hands lowered to his pants, assisting her exploring hands in ridding him of his last garments. Yuuki licked her lips in anticipation, peeking at his member. She felt no fear or hesitation; instead, the need to have him inside of her only intensified.
"Please," she panted hotly against his mouth, tangling her fingers through his soft locks.
Her stoic knight only nodded into her kiss, his hands trailing down her body as his lips followed down her neck, leaving light kisses on her sore skin.
Kaname bent down his head, mahogany hair tracing down her chest like silk as his lips touched the skin above her beating heart.
Yuuki stilled at the tender action, feeling as though he was trying to convey something to her with his touch instead of words. He looked up from her chest, garnet eyes filled with affection and tenderness.
She swallowed dryly, entranced by the intensity of his stare, her eyes watery.
In that moment…. It felt as though she was loved.
She knew it wasn't real, but…
Yuuki searched his eyes as he lowered his face, hovering above her as he caressed her cheek.
This feels so right.
He widened her legs, aligning himself at her entrance while he kept his eyes locked with hers. They held their breaths, both aware of how this moment would change their lives forever.
Yet they did nothing to stop it.
Slowly he entered her, his eyes closing as he felt her warmth envelope him. A rush of breath escaped his lips as he hid his face in the crook of her neck, overwhelmed with pleasure.
The pain wasn't as bad as she'd expected; still, Yuuki tensed at the unfamiliar feeling of being filled. She clenched her teeth together, enduring the pain as she adjusted to his length.
Noticing her pain, Kaname placed soft butterfly kisses on her neck, doing his best to soothe her until he felt her relax into the sheets.
Her fingers at the back of his neck urged his face up; he met her searching mouth with his own, kissing her as tenderly as possible. The trust she had in him was overwhelming; knowing that he was breaching her body, which was meant for the king alone made a strange sense of pride surge through his body.
She was his. Right now, in this moment.
His kiss grew fiercer; sensing her approval, he withdrew and entered her again, moaning into her mouth at the sensation. Her own quiet whimper met his, and as he repeated the motion, a loud moan escaped her rosy lips as she clenched her eyes.
Kaname set his pace, instinct and lust clouding his mind as he lost himself in the heavenly feeling of being inside her and knowing that he was making her moan.
"Mm… Kaname…" The queen moaned his name with such passion he was sure he would burst right then and there.
"Jo… Jou… Ungh," he groaned, his pace picking up while his mind fumbled with the right title to address her with. "My queen…"
"No, no," Yuuki panted, cradling his face as she gazed into his eyes, "call me by my name. My given name, and not my title."
He paused briefly; his inner conflict evident in his stormy eyes as he watched her cautiously. "Yuu…" He breathed, amazement curling at the corner of his lips, "ki…"
"Yes…" She whispered, her eyes lighting up.
"Yuuki," he smiled, as if the word itself was a declaration of everlasting love. Her heart swelled with an unknown emotion; suddenly she felt shy in front of him, despite of the fact that she'd willingly undressed herself in front of him.
"Yuuki…" He whispered in her ear when he noticed her eyes shift away. His fingers found their way to where they were joined, touching her sensitive nub. Like electricity running through her veins, she jolted at the touch, gasping at the sensation.
"Come for me… Yuuki," he whispered in her ear, angling his hips as he pounded into her while his fingers worked her.
Yuuki arched into his chest, her back flying off the mattress as her hips sailed into him, meeting his thrusts. She forgot everything about her life; the king's abuse, her sadness; her wicked family and months of despair; she would've almost forgotten her name had it not been for the fact that her knight kept moaning it into her ear, reminding her of the fact that she was desired by him, not for her title or power, but for her body and mind.
It was the greatest pleasure she'd ever known.
To be touched and caressed; to be treated as a human being rather than a political tool and lifeless doll.
Only her loyal and strong knight could give her that.
Spurred on by his touch, and the sound of his voice, she climbed higher and higher until she could climb no more; screaming his name as her body quivered with pleasure, her legs rattling against him.
"Kaname… Oh, Kan…ame…" She moaned, tears springing in her eyes from the overwhelming pleasure.
"Jou… Yu… Yuuki!" He groaned loudly, his steady pace erupting into rapid speed, his hips moving uncontrollably. "Ah… I…"
Hastily, Kaname made a move to pull out, but her legs arrested him on his sides, holding him in place as her ankles locked together. His eyes widened at her implication, searching hers for answer.
Her steady gaze met his, her lips parted as she gazed at him with fondness.
"Come…" She whispered against his mouth, her eyes beguiling and enchanting.
Kaname battled with himself, unsure of how long he could suppress himself. She was still the queen; he couldn't come inside of her, it was simply unheard of, yet…
Her steady gaze bewitched him; something in her eyes made him lose all rational thought as he let go, spilling his seed inside of her as sweat dripped down his temples, groans escaping his parched throat.
"Yuuki…" He panted as he lost his strength, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he came down from his high.
Their breaths mingled with the darkness; silence enveloped their beating hearts as they lay upon her sheets, naked and spent.
He was too far gone to even think about the consequences of what they'd just done; nowhere near grasping the true extent of what this meant for them. All he knew was that it'd felt so right inside of her; like he'd found fulfillment after a lifetime of longing for something unknown.
She'd tempted him everyday since he'd met her; and now that he'd had her, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to let go.
Her fingers combing through his hair, combined with the softness of her skin and the gentle note of her voice, calmed him down as he felt his eyes flutter closed.
"Thank you," the queen whispered in the darkness. "Thank you for making me feel human again… Kaname."
He numbly touched the bruise forming on her neck, his eyes filling with sorrow. He withdrew from her, momentarily mourning the loss of contact, and sat up on the edge of the bed. He ran his fingers through his hair, contemplating what to do next.
The queen had been assaulted, and what had he done? Taken advantage of her to sate his sinful desires. What if someone had found out? What if someone had walked in on them? This was far too dangerous. The fact that he'd lost control so easily scared him. He needed to go back to the river and purify himself. Only then would he forgive himself.
As he got up from the bed, her hand reached out and clenched his arm.
His head whipped over his shoulder in shock, his eyes wide.
Yuuki held the sheets above her breasts, clumsily covering herself. Her hair, tousled by his hands, flowed down her shoulders beautifully, reminding him of what he'd just experienced. Her skin was flushed, some parts were bruised, while other bore the markings of his kisses.
What struck him the most was the look in her eyes.
Loneliness.
Desperation.
Fear.
"Please…" She whispered, her voice frail and small. "Stay with me."
Her eyes lowered onto her hand upon his arm; she withdrew her hand in uncertainty, her bottom lip becoming victim to her gnawing teeth.
She didn't look one bit like the icequeen that roamed the palace and commanded her servants with cold eyes.
She looked like the woman that hid behind Queen Yuuki Kuran; the woman who endured the pain and the abuse, while her façade remained perfectly untouched.
This was the real Yuuki – the real woman he'd once been completely smitten with.
How on earth could he turn her down?
Her eyes looked up as he got back into bed, a gasp escaping her lips when he tugged her down into his arms. She gazed up at him in wonder, her eyes parted in slight shock as he met her gaze.
"I'll always stay by your side," he vowed, conveying his sincerity through his gaze.
She stroked his cheek tenderly as her eyes softened with warmth.
"I'll hold on to that promise, then."