Maybe she'd always been broken and dark inside.

Looking back, it had been a mix of luck, her versatile quirk, and the villain's initial intent to incapacitate and not kill that had allowed her to survive that encounter.

Not to mention sheer desperation.

But as she grew older, and if –when– she became a hero, the circumstances would change. They'd be less cocky and more vicious, more willing to kill– or worse. Kimiko didn't think she could handle being in a situation like that ever again.

She rolled over in the lumpy hospital bed, unable to maneuver herself into a comfortable position. The pillow remained flat and dense, giving her a headache after all that tossing and turning. Kimi threw it off the bed and twisted, bringing the covers with her.

The uncomfortable beds certainly didn't help with her consistent sleepless nights that left Kimi with a constant nagging feeling of snappishness and strain. Her bad mood was only aided by her sore throat and perpetually empty stomach, a result of her being unable to keep food down and vomiting it all back up.

But she couldn't help it; she still couldn't close her eyes without hearing the gunshot, without feeling the lump of flesh smacking her in the face, leaving a trail of warm blood smeared across her cheeks. And then her eyes would flash open, wide and unblinking as she quivered within her blanket.

And it was impossible to keep food down; it was soft and squishy and slick as it slid down her throat, then her stomach would heave and the food would all come rushing right back up, spilling across the pristine marble floor. (Like blood and guts, Kimi thought with a giggle. A bang, and blood and guts pooling across the floor)

Feeling miserable, Kimi clutched the blanket tighter around her. Then a hand clamped down on her shoulder; a sudden jolt of something sent her vision going white, and then there was a knife in her hands and she was moving–

The doctor stumbled back, and Kimi froze, her hands fluttering to her mouth. "Oh...oh god…"

There's something wrong with me.

They sent her to a new hospital after that. Inko Midoriya was in a frenzy, worrying over her daughter, but the visiting rules were stricter here. The doctors here asked strange questions –they called it mental healing when she asked– but underneath the kind words, it all felt like an interrogation. The days became a whirl of motion, a torrent dragging her from one place to another while Kimi staggered about, trying to stay on her feet.

Then the doctors left and it was like a breath of fresh air. But Kimi quickly found herself growing bored and began to pace up and down the hallway, when she heard a muffled sobbing coming from an open door. Her feet moved towards it automatically and her hand pushed the door open further.

The soft crying stopped.

Well, she'd already come this far and just leaving now would be awkward, so Kimi walked in, ducking her head.

"H-hi." She stammered. "Sorry if I'm bothering you, but you sounded…sad."

With that, she raised her gaze to see a woman. Kimi's first impression was that she looked… mismatched. With her white hair and weary eyes, she looked old even while her skin was free of wrinkles, and otherwise appeared to be in her prime.

She was crying, but she was also smiling; smiling kindly even as tears dripped down her face. Unnerved, Kimi took a step back.

"No, no, it's alright." The woman said, voice soft. "It's good to have some company now and then."

"Why were you sad?"

Her eyes closed. "I miss my son."

Kimi wondered if he was dead. She wondered if he'd also had to hold a knife in his hands but chose to let it go, and for that he'd died. She wondered if his last thought before he was killed was better now than having to do it to myself if I survived.

What the hell am I thinking?

So instead, Kimi said, "Why doesn't he come visit you?"

"My son is very sad too, so he doesn't come," explained the woman, which actually made less sense. If he was sad, why would that make him not come? "But that's okay, I don't mind, if it makes him happier."

Kimiko still didn't think any of this made much sense, but the woman wasn't crying any more, which was good. There was a long pause, the silence expanding to fill the room.

"I'm Kimiko Midoriya, and I want to be a hero" she introduced. "Who are you?"

The woman breathed in and exhaled slowly. The motion seemed to fill her, mend the little rips and tears and smooth out the chips and cracks. She tilted her head up, quiet strength in her eyes. Kimi wondered if she could ever be that strong; so broken, but able to put herself back together.

"You can call me Mrs. Todoroki," she said, "You seem like a sweet girl."

Kimi blushed. "Thank you."

She shook her head, the smile still on her lips. "So, you want to be a hero, hm?"

Yes, if she wanted to be able to defend herself, to have the lawful right to defend herself. There really wasn't much of a choice; Kimiko Midoriya was going to become a hero. But it was more than that; she didn't want anyone else to have to go through what she did.

No one else should have to go through that. She'd suffer so they won't.

Faced with this woman, all stunning contradiction and quiet strength, Kimi silently promised, as long as I'm alive, no matter what, I will protect.

At all cost.

/~/

That was why, three and a half years later, her body was moving, running without her consent towards this amalgamation of sludge and grime.

Katsuki Bakugo wasn't her friend, far from it actually; he'd been the only one of the boys to tease her for her 'lack' of quirk, though she'd always quietly admired him for his strength and resolve, overlooking the cruder parts of his personality. But none of that had anything to do with it; maybe it was the haunting echo of that paralyzing terror, or maybe it was the trauma that came afterwards, but Kimi kept running, even when she'd regained control of her body.

Protect no matter what, at all costs.

There was fire everywhere, chips and shards scattered across the ground –a shattered world– and Kimi ran straight through it all. The creature twisted, slime rippling and shifting with every movement. It glared at her, an unworldly horribleness in its eyes.

Eyes. Kimi wondered if people would see worse when they looked in hers. She wondered if they'd see how flesh peeled to reveal the tendons and muscle underneath, soft and raw. If they'd see how guts seeped through a tear in the body, like rotting maggots, swarming to escape.

She wanted him to see. She wished it.

That amorphous collection of sludge stiffened in shock, but Kimi kept running (always running) even as a villain, twenty adults and the Symbol of Peace stood frozen in inertia. But it was all a blur, the world seemingly resting upon the tips of her fingers as her hand swept out, throwing her backpack and hitting the creature's eye. It reared back, releasing Bakugo's head for just a moment. With bared teeth and a scream, she saw the opportunity and seized it as she howled, "BAKUGO!"

The boy glared back at her, a fierce, fiery pride burning in his eyes. He thrashed in its grip and jerked his chin upwards, snarling, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

I don't know I don't know I don't know-

There was a golden blur and Kimi was shoved all the way to the sidelines. A gun, a knife, and guts on the floor. A gun a knife and guts on the floor. A gun, a knife-

"Have faith, for I am here!"

But All Might was here now and it was all going to be okay. Maybe she would have believed it, but Kimi was trapped in her own world, remembering how her body hurtled down the stairs, and how easily her tooth had given out and fallen onto her tongue.

She clawed at her face, her eyes, as if she could rip the memories right out of her flesh. She would forever taint the world with the cursed images suspended in her eyes; Kimi kept her head down, fearing what the others would see if they dared to look in. They should've taken her eyes. They should've.

It was like being back in the hospital all over again, the nausea rushing back with every thought, accompanied by the heaving of her stomach. But it was all going to be okay, because All Might would take care of everything, he'd take care of everything and she'd never have to feel this way again.

(Maybe if she repeated it enough she would start to believe it)

All Might was here and it would be okay.

All Might was here and it would be okay.

All Might is here and it's all gonna be okay.

/~/

Later, Katsuki Bakugo would roar and scream that "I didn't need to be fucking saved, you got that?!", but Kimiko Midoriya was too busy thinking about guns and knives and what it meant to be a hero.

/~/

After the incident, All Might approached her in his 'true' form, and despite everything, Kimi felt a fangirlish excitement and the urge to squeal.

Looking solemn and completely unlike the forever optimistic act he put on, All Might crossed his bony arms and said, "After your history with villains, I didn't think you'd be so willing to charge straight towards another one."

Surprised, she blurted, "You know about that?"

"Kid, I'm All Might."

As if she needed to be reminded of the fact- a sizeable chunk of her wanted to fall to her knees and start profusely expressing her admiration, and she might have if not for the fact that it was awkward to answer questions while on your knees. And as for his question, Kimiko found herself at a loss. Why did she do it?

Kimi felt a cynical smile cross her lips. "I…I guess I shouldn't have played at being a hero." Because as far as the world was concerned, Kimiko Midoriya was quirkless. And even if her far-too situational ability was recognized as a quirk, being able to summon a scrap of metal or change the color of a ball wasn't particularly hero-worthy.

Her bravado for three years… was it nothing but delusion? Her tricking herself that if she was smart enough, clever enough, even the weakest of 'quirks' could be used in combat? Tears started welling up in her eyes, but she was in the presence of All Might so she wouldn't cry, damnit!

But it was so utterly soul crushing, her realization. Maybe she'd needed a goal to cling onto when she was still going mad with nightmares and the memories, but now, there was nothing left for her to do but accept it.

The tears fell, new ones welling up in her cursed eyes to take their place, and Kimiko started crying, her breath stumbling with sobs bubbling in her throat. She cried while All Might watched, completely silent until–

"Do you know what all the greatest heroes have in common?" he asked.

Her breath hitched.

"Their bodies moved before they had a change to think," He told her quietly, blue eyes suddenly lighting up with an intense blaze. "Almost as if they'd moved on their own."

And through her sobbing, he said gently, "That's what happened to you today, Kimiko Midoriya."

Her heart throbbed, and Kimi fell to her knees, the sobs in her throat bursting through into one drawn out wail as she cried.

And that was how she was gifted with the quirk, One for All.

/~/

When Kimiko Midoriya ran, it was towards a better, brighter future. Sometimes it was a future where she was not dead, sometimes it was a future with Katsuki Bakugo alive, but this time the future was solid, given form and definitive shape.

U.A.

She still couldn't sleep, but this time it was from excitement. Her alarm blared to life but she was already awake, leaping out of bed and into her clothes. It wasn't until she actually set foot on the grounds that her old shyness kicked in.

Did she deserve this? Did she really deserve to go? The doubt didn't last long; if she wanted to live in peace, if she wanted others to live in peace, and if she wanted to live up to All Might's expectations, she would make herself worthy. Kimiko would just have to steel her nerves, suck it up, and thrive.

Perhaps if she'd taken the entrance exams, she'd be confident in her abilities, or confident in her lack thereof. Her technical knowledge and analytical abilities were outstanding, which was half of the battle for the official recommendation. But her lack of quirk instantly negated that, or it would have if not for the incident with the villain hideout.

The incident. It always came back to the incident. It was proof of her physical prowess and ability to think on her feet and was also listed as a great service to her community. That –the fact that she'd stabbed a person in the throat and shot another – was what guaranteed her a place in U.A.

Kimiko didn't want it anymore; not like this.

But she wasn't exactly going to decline.

Since she was guaranteed a spot in, Kimiko decided to tour the school a day early. It was good to get some semblance of the layout and where everything was, how things worked, meet her teachers and all that. But mostly it was just for the sheer excitement of it, and since it was a weekend, Kimi could experience the school all by herself.

Except she couldn't. Because…

"So, Todoroki-kun, you, um, got recommended too?"

The red-and-white haired boy didn't even spare her a glance. "Obviously."

Three years had passed, but she could still hear her voice; "You can call me Mrs. Todoroki, and I miss my son very much."

Upon meeting him, Kimi had nearly gawked in astonishment, but barely managed to refrain. Shoto Todoroki looked nothing like his mother, who was all soft and gentle; the looks of a person who got whittled bare then built themselves back up to be better and stronger than before.

But Todoroki was all stiffness and jagged edge; he'd been worn down too, but instead of growing into it and rounding out, he honed the edge and bitterness, becoming sharp but brittle.

Kimiko could see it all with frightening clarity because she herself had come so very close to becoming one of the two; the 'villain incident' (as she'd taken to calling it) had left her raw and exposed. She could have softened herself, or grown sharp and cold, but instead she'd taken the beating, suffered, and left herself raw and vulnerable. She wasn't quite ready to heal yet.

Kimiko glanced over as the door opened, and a girl fancily dressed girl strode in wearing…very expensive looking clothes. "Hey," she greeted, a faint flash of surprise crossing her eyes. "I guess you guys got recommended too?"

Todoroki nodded and Kimi made a noise of assent. "I'm Kimiko Midoriya," she greeted. "Nice to meet you."

"Shoto Todoroki."

The girl smiled. "Momo Yaoyorozu. Pleasure to make your acquaintance." Her eyes flashed across their surroundings and scanned the two, the dilating of her pupils showing the swiftness in which she absorbed the information.

Kimiko managed a small grin back. "The pleasure is all mine. So, you guys excited to come here?"

While Yaoyorozu seemed to struggle to find a way to voice her excitement, Kimi found herself drawn to the dark look that flitted across Todoroki's eyes. In a low voice, he said, "It is merely expected of me."

Kimiko paused for a moment, quieting. Then shrugged, "High expectations, huh? I mean I have them for myself, so I guess I'm not one to talk. But isn't it great, now that you're here?"

"The greatest hero academy," Yaoyorozu said fondly. "It's always been a dream of mine to attend."

Kimi's face broke out into a grin. "Same!"

"Have you always wanted to be a hero, Midoriya?"

"Kimiko's fine," she said. "And yup. Always."

"I used to want to be a lawyer as a child. Criminal lawyer. Can you believe it? I mean, what kind of five-year-old has a dream like that?"

Kimiko laughed. "A smart one."

"Yeah, well, I've always wanted to fight for justice and punish the 'bad guys' and all that. But I realized something." Here, a feral grin crossed Yaoyorozu's lips. "The most direct way to do that is to cut them down yourself."

Staring slightly at that declaration, she found that she agreed with Yaoyorozu. Is that not why she was here? To fight on the frontlines and cut the problem off at its root?

"I agree," said Todoroki.

Kimi glanced up. Every time he spoke, she felt herself stiffen slightly, but she wasn't quite sure why.

"Well wasn't this lovely," Yaoyorozu chirped. "C'mon, would you like to explore the rest of the school now? I'm curious to see just how big it is."

Kimi glanced at Todoroki. "This classroom is rather dull."

He shrugged. "Okay."

Since it was on the way, they checked out the classrooms. They were all equally unremarkable, until Todoroki made an offhand comment about how unusually large the Support classroom was.

"He's right." Kimi said. "That's weird; they usually try to keep the classes balanced."

Here, a funny expression crossed Yaoyorozu's face. She took a deep breath. "Hey guys?"

"Yeah?"

"Have either of you looked into who our homeroom teacher will be?"

They both shook their heads.

"Shota Aizawa. He's the only teacher that doesn't do orientation day and instead gives a quirk assessment test and ranks you based on your results. Then he uses the rankings to organize a round of one-on-one matches."

"So?" said Todoroki.

"Well," said Yaoyorozu. "Turns out Shota Aizawa has another reputation."

"Which is?" Kimi prompted.

The other girl paused. "…You'll find out. In any case, are you guys interested in hearing a proposition?"

"Uh, sure?"

"My idea is that we set each other up in the rankings so we can be the ones to fight each other; just a little friendly competition. Doesn't that sound interesting?"

Todoroki stared, unimpressed. "I see two immediate problems with that,"

Yaoyorozu sighed. "Yeah, I know. The only way we can reliably control that is if someone came first and another placed last. I was thinking, to make it more fair to the last place person, whoever's first won't be able to go on the offensive for the first fifteen seconds.

"There's also three of us."

"True," she agreed. "We can't all fight each other, so the two who aren't going to flunk can compete for first instead. Little bit of competition for everybody."

Todoroki shrugged, though the intensity in his eyes betrayed his eagerness. "That's what I planned to do anyways, so fine. As long as I'm not the one going last."

"Oh that's alright, I'll-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Kimiko interrupted. "Hang on, what's the point of this? Why should one of us sabotage ourselves?"

"Competition." Todoroki breathed, as if the word explained the emotions that drove the two to yearn for the fight.

"And if the other two don't manage to get first?"

He tilted his head, letting his hair fall from his eyes to reveal a piercing gaze. "Midoriya," he said softly. "I don't lose."

"Well you'll be losing to me one way or another," Yaoyorozu threw in teasingly.

"No."

"Ah, we'll see."

Kimiko wasn't competitive by nature, but they'd thrown in a benefit; fifteen seconds of attacking an opponent who can't attack back.

If the test was indeed split into two parts, Kimi couldn't afford to use up her wishes on the first part and therefore couldn't come first. She'd score on the lower side anyways, and if she agreed, she'd also get fifteen seconds to tip the battle in her favour.

"I accept," said Kimi. "And I'll go last."

Yaoyorozu tilted her head. "You sure? I-"

"I'm sure. I'm very, very sure."

Kimi thought she saw some hesitation in her eyes, but it was gone in the next moment. Yaoyorozu clapped her hands together cheerfully. "Alright! Now let's finish the tour!"

/~/

They talked about villains and heroes and quirks, and it was all Kimi could do to not bombard them with her overwhelming (and borderline obsessive) knowledge. Yaoyorozu was charismatic and easy to get along with, and Kimi felt herself relaxing into the conversation. The other girl spoke casually, yet in a style that was still proper and elegant. She was also terribly smart.

Todoroki was the polar opposite. He didn't say much, but wasn't exactly cold or unresponsive. Just quiet.

They finished the tour (and their debate on their fictional villain hostage situation, which ended in a standstill). Yaoyorozu left first in a black limousine, throwing them a cheery wave. She had, in all honesty, been the one carrying the conversation, and Kimi now braced for the awkward silence.

Ah, quick, think of something to say. "So, Todoroki, how'd you get recommended?" Yeah, that was good.

"I'm the child of Endeavor."

Wait.

child of Endeavor? Kimi felt her jaw drop. Endeavor wasn't as cool as All Might, but only because no one was as cool as All Might. She wanted to gush, but he didn't seem like the type to appreciate it, so she contained her amazement.

"That's really cool," she settled for saying. "I just got super good grades, you know?"

He glanced at her, one eye red and the other an icy blue. "I can tell."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

He snorted. "I was impressed by your ability to vomit pure information."

So she hadn't held back her rambling tendencies as much as she'd thought. Kimi blushed in embarrassment, but then she caught the small, teasing smile that flitted across his lips. Her eyes flickered upwards, tracing the ugly splotch of scarred flesh around his blue eye. Almost as if he could feel her gaze, Todoroki turned away.

"Yeah, sorry about that?" she said a little awkwardly. "Okay, um, I was wondering what your quirk was?"

"I can summon and create ice with my right side."

She blinked. "I thought you said your dad was-"

"That too." Todoroki bit out, a snap to his voice. "But I only use ice." He'd turned back towards her, pinning her with both, strikingly colored eyes. They were clouded with emotion, and his voice was laced with danger, warning her not to press.

Kimi didn't press.

Then there was an awkward silence, but it thankfully didn't last long as her mom's car pulled up in front of her. Kimiko stood up abruptly, trying to find an eloquent way to part ways, like 'bye' or something.

But instead, the words that had been clawing at her throat from the moment she saw him burst out, and Kimi didn't quite manage to stop them from escaping her lips.

"Your mother missesyouverymuch, bye!"

And she practically jumped into her car, ducking her head to avoid looking at the scowl that had twisted his face, as well as the dangerously dark look in his mismatched eyes.

/~/

A/N. Ah, Todoroki was such an angry boi in the beginning. Drop a review and tell me what you think?