Total Dramarama

Three Pigs and an Izzy

"It's my turn!" Beth shouted.

"No, it's my turn!" Duncan shouted back.

"My turn!" Beth shouted as she stepped forward.

"My turn!" Duncan shouted back as he bumped foreheads with Beth.

"CHEF!" shouted the two kids at once.

Chef Hatchet burst out of his office and into the play area and shouted, "What are you kids screaming about!? I am trying to get some work done!" The man froze for a moment when he realized that he was shaking a kitty themed coloring book at the kids. He quickly tossed the evidence back through the door and refocused his attention on Duncan and Beth, as well as Leshawna and Noah who were standing on either side of Beth.

Leshawna took this opportunity to cut in and say bossily, "Duncan's trying to boss us around!"

Duncan pointed at the three other kids and said, "They're just mad because it's my turn to pick the game!"

"No it's not, it's my turn!" Beth shouted as she flailed her arms around.

"Is not!" Duncan argued.

"Is too!" Beth shot back.

Chef face palmed hard, and he said impatiently, "Alright, alright, I'll settle this." He then closed his eyes and put his index fingers to his temples. "I'm thinking of a number. . . between 1 and 10. . .What is it?" he said.

"Three!" Beth shouted.

"Fifteen!" Duncan called out.

"Seven!" Leshawna exclaimed.

"Four!" Noah shouted.

"Nine!" Izzy cried out.

Everyone turned to look at Izzy in surprise, who stood smiling while holding a jump rope.

"Where did she come from?" Leshawna asked.

Izzy stroked her chin in thought and said, "Well, the stork brought me down allllllll the way from the sky to my parents' house where they were waiting-."

"Congratulations, Izzy!" Chef said quickly with a nervous smile, "You get to pick the game you're all gonna play!"

Izzy frowned and shrugged, "Eh, I was gonna do my own thing today."

"I'll pick the game for you!" Duncan said as he quickly put his hand up.

"Okay! Bye!" Izzy said just as quickly, and she quickly turned and started skipping rope away from the group, humming happily as she left them. Beth, Leshawna, and Noah all watched Izzy go with their jaws dropped at the utter unfairness they had experienced.

Confession Cam

Beth clenched her fists and said, "Izzy is gonna pay for that! Grr!"

Noah shook with rage and shouted, "That is totally, completely unfair!"

Duncan smirked and said, "Sure it's fair. Izzy won the right to chose, and she passed it on to me. It's totally clean and legal."

Beth poked Duncan in the tummy and said in challenge, "Since when do you care about stuff being clean and legal, Mr. Lick and Stick Bad Guy Tattoo!"

Confession Cam

Duncan rolled up his shirt to reveal his bare chest and said, "My parents made me take a bath, and my tattoo came off. . ."

He put his shirt back down and said with a scowl, "But I'm still a bad guy! So I can do whatever I want and care about whatever I want just cause. . .I wanna! So there! I'm totally bad!"

Duncan then promptly put his pacifier into his mouth and sucked on it a bit.

Noah shook his head and said, "But Izzy wasn't even playing with us! That didn't count! Chef, think of another number- and he's gone," he trailed off when he saw that Chef had long since left the playroom.

Leshawna huffed and said with a roll of her eyes, "Ugh! Fine, let's just get it over with. What do you wanna play, Duncan?"

". . . . .Fairy-tale," Duncan said with a grin.

"Huh?" the other kids replied, all of them surprised to hear Duncan of all people suggest something along these lines.

"In this game, we all gotta act out a fairy-tale. Duh," Duncan said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Suddenly excited, Leshawna jumped up and shouted gleefully, "Ooh! Ooh! I call dibs on Princess Jasmine!"

"I'll be the genie!" Beth cried out happily.

Noah shrugged and said with a slight grin, "Eh, I guess I can pull off Aladdin. Handsome, agile, clever-."

"What? No!" Duncan shouted, "We're not playing Aladdin! It's my game, so I pick the fairy-tale."

"Fiiiiine," Beth groaned, "What is it?"

Duncan rubbed his hands together nefariously and said, "Heh. . .I was thinking. . ." Duncan then dashed off, and came back wearing a wolf mask that covered the top half of his face, a false wolf's tail, and gloves that looked like a wolf's claws. "The Three Little Pigs! RAAAR!" Duncan roared at the other kids.

The three of them all gasped at this.

Noah frowned and said, "That's no fun! If we play that, we won't get to do anything."

Duncan wiggled his "claws" at him and replied, "Sure ya do! Ya get to build houses for me to blow down, and then run away screaming!" Duncan laughed at this, and he turned to walk away, calling back over his shoulder, "Beth can be the first pig, Leshawna can be second, and Noah can be third. So, go on, piggies! Get building!"

The trio glared at Duncan's back as he left.

Noah sighed, "Well, this playtime's a bust. Another disappointment to push way down deep."

"And it's all Izzy's fault!" Beth shouted furiously.

Leshawna's eyes lit up as an idea suddenly struck her. "Oh my gosh! I have an idea! Huddle up you guys, I got a plan to get back at Izzy and to make this fun!"

Confession Cam

"This is such a dirty trick, and I should feel bad about doing it," Leshawna remarked shyly, but then she glared at the camera and drove her fist into her opposite palm and said, "But after all the crazy stuff Izzy's put us through, why should I?!"

Izzy made "clip-clopping" noises with her mouth as she hopped around the playground, twirling her jump rope high like a lasso. "Yippy-yie-kai-yay!" she shouted, and she threw her lasso at a stuffed bunny rabbit she'd left out. Izzy ended up overshooting the rabbit, and after a sharp tug, Cody found himself being dragged across the ground over to her.

"Get along little dogie!" Izzy cheered happily, but then she scrutinized Cody and said, "Wait, you're not a little dogie. . ." She gasped and said, "You must be a rustler!"

"Huh? Wha?" Cody said in confusion.

Coiling the jump rope tightly around the boy, Izzy pulled Cody in close and demanded loudly, "Alright, ya no good cattle rustler! Where'd ya put that little dogie!?"

"Izzy! Izzy! IZZY!" Beth shouted, loud and hyper as she ran over. She smiled her biggest smile as she leaned over to Izzy and said, "How would you like to check out my brand new dream house!"

Izzy gasped, and her eyes seemed to sparkle with delight as she put her hands on her cheeks. "Ohmigosh, ohmigosh! Yes, yes, let me see it!"

The two girls ran off, leaving Cody sitting on the ground with the jump rope wrapped around him.

". . .Could someone come an untie me, please?" he asked timidly.

"Wooooooah! It's beautiful!" Izzy said in awe.

In front of her was a kid sized cardboard box with multicolored pipe-cleaners glued all over it.

Beth smiled as she stood confidently next to the decorated box, and she said, "It sure is. But I suppose I could part with it... for the right price. . ."

Izzy zipped in close to Beth and said, "I'll give you a whole quarter for it!"

Beth made a big show of thinking it over. "Weeeeelllllllllll. . . " she said while looking around the room, then she looked at Izzy and said, ". . .Okay!"

Izzy squealed with delight as she pressed a quarter into Beth's hands, and then she dashed right into the box. "Yay! Dream house!" she shouted, and she quickly closed the flaps of the box.

Confession Cam

"Sucker. Hee-hee-hee!" Beth said with a mischievous little grin on her face.

Beth quickly snuck away, and a few seconds later, Duncan stalked over towards the pipe-cleaner covered box. He was still wearing his wolf costume, and a sly smirk was plastered all over his face.

"Heh-heh-heh! This is gonna be great!" he snickered deviously. Then he knocked against the closed flaps of the box with furry-gloved fist and said in a growling voice, "Little pig! Little pig! Let me come in!"

A voice from within the box replied, "I'm not a pig! I'm. . .well, I've thought about being a donkey once, but-."

Duncan groaned and said, "No, no, no! That's not your line!" Then he shrugged and said, "Eh, whatever." He then cleared his throat and said in his wolf voice, "Then I'll huff, and puff, and blowwwwwwww your house down!"

Duncan took a step back, took a deep breath. . . and then pulled an air horn out of his pocket and used it.

HONNNNNNNNNNK!

A few pipe-cleaners were blown right off of the cardboard box, and then the entire box was blown clear across the room, hitting the wall and collapsing in a heap.

Duncan had to hold his stomach as he cracked up laughing. "Oh wow! That was the greatest! Oh man, I can't wait to wreck Leshawna's house!" Duncan let out a loud wolf howl as he walked away.

Confession Cam

"It's kinda weird though," Duncan remarked, "All those pipe-cleaners made Beth's voice sound kinda different."

The crumbled pile of cardboard and pipe-cleaners started to tremble, and then Izzy popped out of it, glaring angrily at Duncan. "What a jerk! That was my dream house! All it needed was a few crayon self portraits of me and it would've been perfect!" she lamented.

At this point, Leshawna walked over and said, "Awww. That's too bad about your dream house, Izzy."

Izzy sighed sadly and looked down at the pile of colorful rubble she was sitting in. "Yeah. . .if only I could find another one. . ." she said.

"I have one," Leshawna suggested.

"REALLY!?" Izzy said, immediately brightening up.

"This. . .is. . .AMAZING!" Izzy shouted as she beheld what stood before her.

It was a large box shaped structure made of Lincoln Logs, complete with a roof made from a large cardboard square. It was just slightly bigger than Beth's pipe-cleaner covered box.

Leshawna patted Izzy on the shoulder and said, "I know, right. I'd gladly let you have it, but it would just seem wrong to just give away a dream house like this for nothing, you know."

"I'll give you a quarter for it!" Izzy said, almost pleadingly.

Leshawna folded her arms and said with a frown, "A quarter? For something this special. I don't know-."

"Two quarters!" Izzy shouted, this time on her knees and in a full begging position.

Leshawna raised an eyebrow and said, "That's a hard bargain, Izzy. . ." Then she smiled and said, ". . .but okay. Deal."

Izzy squealed with delight again as she handed Leshawna the quarters, lifted up the cardboard roof, and jumped into the Lincoln Log structure.

Confession Cam

"I must be dreaming!" Leshawna said in the midst of laughter, "No one could be this gullible! No one!"

Leshawna quickly left the scene, and Duncan the big bad wolf approached the structure.

"Alright, time for round two!" Duncan said giddily as he cracked his knuckles. Then he growled out again, "Little pig! Little pig! Let me come in!"

"Leave me alone, Duncan!" a voice shouted from within the structure.

Duncan growled and said, "Grrr! Why can't you just play along! Ugh! Fine, whatever, you don't have to say the line!" Then he stepped back and growled out, "I'm gonna huff, and puff, and blowwwwwwwwww your house down!"

Duncan took a deep breath with his eyes closed, and Izzy popped out from the structure and said, "You wouldn't dare!"

Duncan paid no attention to her as he took out his air horn and used it again.

HONNNNNNNNK!

Izzy was immediately buried in a pile of Lincoln Logs as the structure collapsed completely.

Duncan burst out laughing again as he promptly turned and ran off, letting out a couple of wolf howls along the way.

Confession Cam

"I mean, it's just so weird how their voices sound so different when they're inside of things!" Duncan said with a puzzled look on his face.

Izzy burst out of the pile of Lincoln Logs and narrowed her eyes at the fleeing boy, scowling darkly at him.

Confession Cam

"Of course you realize this means war!" Izzy shouted out as she raised her fist high into the air.

Duncan reclined in a bean bag chair and sighed, "Eh, maybe I shouldn't even bother finishing the game. Everyone knows wolves can't blow down bricks, so I guess the fun parts are all over. I shoulda picked a longer fairy-tale or something."

"Under the ocean and through the walls to grandmother's house I go!" sang Izzy and while she skipped over to Duncan. She was wearing a nap-time blanket covered with red paint. She wore the blanket like a cloak, and in her right hand she held a small basket with a napkin covering its contents.

"Izzy, what are you doing?" Duncan asked.

Izzy just laughed and said, "Oh no, Mr. Wolf. I'm not Izzy! I'm Little Red Riding Hood!"

". . .Seriously?" Duncan said flatly.

Izzy flashed Duncan a smile and said, "Sure! I'm off to the tree house- I mean, my grandma's house to give her this goody basket. See!"

Izzy held out the basket to Duncan and lifted up the napkin, revealing a delicious looking chocolate cupcake topped with rich chocolate buttercream frosting. Through his wolf mask, Duncan's eyes were wide as they strongly coveted the treat.

Izzy covered the cupcake back up and said, "Well, goodbye Mr. Wolf! I gotta get going!" She then skipped off towards the playground and resumed her singing, "Over the quicksand and through the clouds to grandmother's house I go!"

Duncan watched Izzy leave, and then smiled a devious smirk.

Confession Cam

"Let's see. Either waste my time trying to blow down a brick house, or steal Izzy's cupcake?" Duncan said as he lifted both of his "paws" as if to weigh the two options, then he grinned and said, "Why am I even thinking about this!?"

With a bundle under his right arm, Duncan barged into the tree house and shouted, "Alright, grandma, hit the road!"

Cody and Bridgette were right in the middle of another one of their tea parties when Duncan had burst in. Cody took one look at Duncan and screamed, "AHHH! WEREWOLF!"

Cody immediately threw himself down the slide, and Bridgette called out after him in frustration, "Cody, wait! It's just Duncan! HEY!"

Duncan grabbed Bridgette by her hoodie and dragged her over to the slide. "Come on, grandma, move it! Scram! Get out of here! I got a chocolate cupcake with my name on it, and you need to be gone when it gets here!" he ordered.

"What are you even talking about? This must be some kind of misunderstanding. Let me go, please!" Bridgette cried out.

Duncan smiled a smile that matched his wolf mask and said, "Okay, I'll let ya go!"

He then gave Bridgette a quick shove, sending her sliding head first and on her stomach down the slide. She cried out in distress as she slid all the way down and face-planted at the bottom. "That wasn't very nice!" she cried out as she raised up her hand.

Meanwhile, Izzy climbed up the rope ladder to the tree house and stopped at the entrance. She knocked on the wall and said, "Grandma? Are you home?"

Duncan leaned up against the wall and proceeded to quickly make use of the bundle he'd swiped from inside the daycare. He wrapped himself up in a blanket, and then put a pillowcase over his head. Now only his masked eyes and forehead were showing. He then cleared his throat and said in a high, shaky voice, "Come in, Little Red Riding Hood!"

"Hiya, Grandma!" Izzy said with an extra dose of enthusiasm as she skipped into the tree house, "I've come to visit-."

"Yes, yes, come on, gimme the goody in that basket," Duncan said quickly, while still maintaining his "Grandma Voice."

Izzy nodded, "Oh, sure, Grandma. . ." She then tilted her head innocently and questioned, "But gosh, what big eyes you have!"

Duncan rolled his eyes, but nevertheless replied, "The better to-."

Duncan was unable to complete his sentence, as Izzy suddenly took out a high powered LED flashlight and shined it right in Duncan's eyes.

"OWW! MY EYES!" Duncan shouted as his arms burst free of the blanket so he could rub at his eyes.

Izzy pulled the pillow case off of Duncan's head and gasped, "Gosh, Grandma!" She then took a deep breath, leaned in close to the left side of Duncan's head and screamed as loud as she could, "WHAT BIG EARS YOU HAVE!"

Duncan's left hand immediately shot up to press against his now ringing left ear. This caused the blanket around him to unravel and fall off.

Izzy then grabbed the snout of the wolf mask, and by extension Duncan's nose as well, and twisted it as she said, "And what a big nose you have!"

Duncan smacked Izzy's hand away and threw the blanket off of him and shouted, "Cut it out, can't ya!?"

Izzy gasped in mock horror and said, "You're not Grandma! You're a wolf!"

Duncan jumped up to his feet and held out his "claws", growling as he said, "That's The Big Bad Wolf to you!"

Izzy held the basket containing the cupcake away from him and said, "Well! Then you're not getting the goody I brought!"

"Ohhhhhhh no!" Duncan insisted irately as he clenched his fists, "I didn't go through all that for nothing! Hand it over! I deserve what's coming to me!"

Izzy blinked owlishly.

Confession Cam

"Wow. I thought things only got this ironic on TV!" Izzy remarked with delight.

Izzy shrugged and took the cupcake out of the basket. "Okay Duncan," she said in a sweet, sing song voice, "You asked for it."

Izzy grabbed Duncan's wolf snout and pulled, stretching the elastic band around the back of his head as she pulled the mask away from his face. She then put the cupcake into the mask and let it go, sending the cupcake right into Duncan's face with a loud splat.

Izzy giggled wildly as she ditched the basket and went down the slide. Duncan pulled of his mask for a moment to wipe the chocolate out of his eye. Then he snarled as his face burned red with rage. Then he roared and went down the slide as well.

"I'm gonna get you for that, Izzy!" he shouted.

Gwen was in the middle of dumping some dead bugs into a hole she had dug in the sandbox when Cody ran over and shouted, "Gwen! Help! A werewolf is after me! Save me!"

Gwen looked up at the clear, sunny sky, then stared levelly at Cody and said, "No. There can't be werewolf here right now... unfortunately."

At that moment, Izzy ran by laughing as she called out, "Look out! Here comes The Big Bad Wolf!"

"AHHHHH!" Cody screamed as he took off running.

Gwen resummed burying the dead bugs in the sandbox, and was placing cardboard tombstones down when Duncan ran by shouting, "Get back here, Izzy!"

Confession Cam

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Gwen said flatly as she held her headless doll.

Cody was so scared that he caught up to Izzy when they reached the door to the daycare. The pair ended up colliding in the doorway and taking a tumble.

Duncan caught up to them and snickered as he towered over them. Cody wailed in terror and hugged the derp eyed and dizzy Izzy in fear.

Duncan raised his "claws" high said, "Alright, Izzy! You know what I'm gonna do now?"

"CHOCOLATE!"

Before the scene could play out any further, Duncan was suddenly bowled over by Owen. The larger kid sat on top of Duncan, having removed the wolf mask and was licking the inside of it with the biggest of smiles.

"Get off of me, Owen!" Duncan wailed as he struggled in vain.

Confession Cam

Owen sat while still holding the wolf mask, licking out what the remained of the cupcake. Then paused to look up from it and said, "Wait? A cupcake is a cupcake. Even if it is a little smooshed."

Izzy marched up to the pinned down "wolf" and said, "Serves you right for blowing my houses down!"

"What are you talking about? Those weren't your houses, those were the pigs houses. Beth, Lashawna, and Noah are the three little pigs," Duncan explained impatiently.

Izzy's eyes went wide and she said, "Oooooohhhhhhh! So that's it." Then she rubbed her hands together and let out a quick maniacal laugh. "Hey, Duncan... You wanna help me play a trick on those piggies?"

Duncan grimaced and said, "I vote yes to anything that gets you to get Owen off of me! And I need a new wolf mask!"

"I'm confused," Noah declared.

Inside the block castle, which the group had decided to use as their brick house; Beth, Lashawna, and Noah were laughing together as they played house.

"Okay, you girls got lucky," Noah said smugly as he pointed at his companions, "I wish I could've gotten a chance to scam Izzy."

Rocking her baby doll, Lashawna grinned back and said, "Hey, you got a front row seat to the fun, didn't you?"

Beth was still giggling as she stirred a pot at the play stove said, "I can't believe Izzy fell for it twice!"

The trio started laughing again, when suddenly they heard the sound of Duncan's voice shouting, "Little pigs! Little pigs! Let me come in!"

Noah looked up from the puzzle he was putting together, and he casually pointed in the direction of the door. "Hey," he said with an amused expression on his face, "The Big Bad Blowhard is still at it."

The kids nodded to one another, and then they called out, "Not by the hairs of our chinny-chin-chins!"

As the three of them laughed, Duncan growled out, "Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blowwwwww your house down!"

This only caused them to laugh harder.

"Go ahead! Blow all you want, wind bag!" Noah challenged.

"Yeah, maybe you'll blow the dust off of the door or something!" Leshawna said.

"Wow, some Big Bad Wolf! Everyone knows wolves can't blow down bricks!" Beth added.

Outside, Duncan took the biggest breath he could, and then took out his air horn and used it while blowing hard at the colorful brick castle.

HONNNNNNNNNNK!

The three kids inside immediately stopped laughing when the entire structure began to tremor violently. They watched as the walls began to shake and wobble, with each individual brick seemingly moving on its own. Beth, Leshawna, and Noah all huddled close together in the center of the room as the shaking got stronger and stronger. Then, all at once, all of the bricks flew apart and the entire castle crumbled to the ground around them.

When the dust settled, Duncan stood in front of them with a cocky, satisfied smirk on his face.

Noah and Leshawna were speechless, while Beth let out a soft gasp and said, "He did it!?"

"Ahem!"

The three of them turned to see Izzy smiling at them while patting a jackhammer she had borrowed from a nearby construction site.

"We did it," she said with a smile.

The End