Royal Affair Chapter 13: Hope, a vampire knight fanfic

A/N: Merry Christmas y'all.
Sorry for the late update, but you know – life.
This chapter is short and heavily yume-centric.
Thank you for your continued support of this story and the sweet reviews you post. They give me so much joy and support in times when I really need it. Thank you thank you thank you.

Chapter 13: Hope

"You were the fruit of our love; proof that we lived and loved together."

The words of his father from long ago echoed in his mind as he gazed at the setting sun. Here he was, watching the sun bleed across the horizon – but this time his father was not next to him. He was not there to guide him or give him advice.

He was gone.

And now, he was about to become a father himself.

Me? As a father?

Kaname swallowed the temporary panic that welled in his chest.

The father of Yuuki's child.

Our child.

The fruit of our love…

Where panic had previously reigned, pride and undeniable joy sprung tentatively in his chest, breaking through his doubts and worries. Yuuki was pregnant. Against all odds, she'd gotten pregnant with his child. His child.

An image of a very pregnant Yuuki beaming with joy flashed in his mind; an image he'd dreamt of before many times, but always kept to himself in fear of hurting her feelings. He knew how much it hurt her not being able to conceive; he knew how much she yearned to be a mother one day. And he knew that she wanted all of it with him.

The Queen had chosen him as her lover. She'd surrendered herself – mind, body and soul – to him completely. And now she was expecting his child.

Kaname was not a man of religious faith, nor had he ever concerned himself with questions regarding his own existence – never had he put any faith into any god or religion, but now…

Now he couldn't help but believe he'd received a divine blessing.

A miracle.

A miracle that changed everything.

He sighed again, tired of battling his conflicting emotions. He wasn't happy about the way he'd left Yuuki earlier when she'd delivered the news to him – in fact, he doubted she would ever speak to him again…

"I…"

"I know it's a lot to take in," she soothed, touching his arm lightly.

His legs moved of their own accord as he began taking a few steps backward.

"Kaname, please, stay," she begged, stepping forward and reaching for his arm. "We need to stick together. Always, remember?"

But his legs kept moving.

"I… I need to… I need to clear my mind," he mumbled.

"Come back to me," Yuuki whispered, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

He turned quickly and exited her chambers.

"What is it, Kaname? You seem upset."

Kaname turned towards the familiar voice of his comrade.

"Ichijou," he acknowledged as the fair blonde positioned himself next to Kaname, leaning his arms on the balcony railing.

"In the flesh," the green-eyed knight quipped. "Now, tell me what's wrong. It's been a while since I've seen you mope like this."

Kaname inhaled and exhaled, his eyes focusing on the darkening skyline.

"Yuuki's pregnant."

The minute the words left his mouth, the gravity of them hit him with full force. He held his breath, realizing what he'd just said out loud.

"P-pregnant?" Ichijou stuttered, green eyes widening.

His stoic friend said nothing in response.

"Well, I…" Ichijou shook his head. "That's great, Kaname," he smiled warmly, the corners of his green eyes crinkling.

"Great?" Kaname said incredulously.

"Is it not great?" Ichijou wondered. "I was under the impression that you always wanted to start a family of your own one beautiful day. It looks like that day is approaching faster than what any of us had expected."

"But…" Kaname protested.

"You don't want children?" Ichijou questioned. "Should have thought about that before you... ehem, did the dirty," the tips of Ichijou's ear reddened as his blush spread.

"No, I mean," Kaname shook his head, "yes – of course I want children! With… With Yuuki but…"

He ran his fingers through his mahogany locks, sighing as he struggled to come up with the right words.

"She's the Queen," he began, "and I'm… I'm me."

"Yeah duh, you're you,", Ichijou rolled his eyes, "but you are also the fiercest warrior in the kingdom; you are loved and revered by our people; you have royal blood coursing through your veins, but most importantly – you are loved endlessly by our fair Queen – and no one else can claim such a momentous title." He took a step forward, grabbing Kaname's shoulder as he spoke. "Kaname Kuran – knight, warrior, one of the people – the one and only man in Jouusama's heart."

Kaname searched his dearest friend's eyes, finding nothing but sincerity in them.

"I don't understand how we ended up here… The girl I saw from a distance so many years ago; the same girl that made me fall in love the second I saw her is… carrying my child." His voice cracked slightly as he became overwhelmed with emotion. "How can this be?" He croaked.

Ichijou smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly as he gazed upon his comrade in a newfound light. There was no doubt in his mind that Kaname would be the perfect father; he also knew how much joy it would give him just by looking at the shimmer of hope in his eyes. Although they were in a strange situation, he knew it would all work out somehow. He hoped so, with all his heart. If there was one person in this world that deserved to have it all, then it was Kaname. He deserved to have a loving family. He deserved to marry the woman he loved. He deserved to have children and raise them.

"Well, perhaps…" Ichijou squeezed Kaname's shoulder gently as the two of them gazed at the sunset.

"It was always meant to be?"

It felt like years had passed.

The queen watched the sun sink into the horizon and disappear. Life slowed down as nightfall crept upon their kingdom; she could sense everything still around her, servants withdrawing to their chambers; maids finishing their duties for the day, the birds resting among the trees – everything ending.

And still she felt so restless.

Restless because her love wasn't with her.

Restless because he was somewhere out there in the dark, scared, frustrated, lonely…

She rubbed her belly absentmindedly, reminiscing about the many times she'd waited for his return. She remembered when a storm had wrecked their landscape, leaving her shivering with worry for his wellbeing though they had only consummated the lust between them once. He'd disappeared after their first night together on a mission; and against her will, she'd missed him tremendously.

So she'd waited and waited. Just like now.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you," his voice shook with emotion. He inhaled and exhaled, unable to calm himself.

Yuuki closed her eyes, remembering the look in his eyes as he gazed at her, his hair dripping wet and his uniform smeared with dirt and dust. She remembered how her heart had pounded in her chest, urged on by the mixture of relief over seeing him and anticipation over what came next. She knew then that she wanted him; the only question that remained unanswered was whether he wanted her too.

Her question had been answered by his fiery kiss.

From there on out, they were irrevocably tied together in ways she'd never imagined. Never had she thought she would fall in love; but she fell for him before she even knew what love was – in fact, as Yuuki had pondered upon their relationship, she realized that she'd fallen in love with him when he was no more than her knight and their relationship strictly platonic.

Although he'd been her servant, he'd become her dearest friend.

And she'd fallen in love with her dearest friend.

It hadn't happened suddenly; it had happened over time, the love in her heart growing slowly day by day as she spent time with him. Even then – when they were nothing more than queen and knight – she knew she could always count on him; she knew she could trust him with her life and her secrets – regardless of his duty he would always put her first. She'd seen the tenderness in his eyes when he refused to adhere to her refusal of the food he offered; she'd seen the pain and hurt in his eyes whenever Rido had abused her and left her bruised; she'd seen the rare smiles he'd let slip past his mask whenever she did something clumsy or funny.

She was meant to fall in love with him the same way the sun was meant to rise and set every day.

There was no life without the sun.

And so there was no life for her without him.

Her love.

She rubbed her belly again, secretly marvelling over the fact that inside her the proof of their love was growing day by day. She hoped their child would look like Kaname; oh, how wonderful it would be if their child had his eyes, his hair, his lips and his nose…

She could just picture it; Kaname and their child playing and laughing together. If they had a son it would be perfect; he would be just as fierce and gentle as his father, emulating his every move. Oh, she would love to dress them up in matching outfits! How adorable they would look together-

Her smile faded as she realized that she was alone with her thoughts.

Her excitement for the future was not shared by her beloved. What should have been the most joyous moment of their life together was tainted by the impossibility of their situation. He'd reacted the way she'd feared he would; he'd panicked immediately, clearly overwhelmed by the notion of bringing a child into their fatal relationship.

She couldn't really blame him.

She was married to another man after all.

Not just any man – the King – Kaname's own half-brother.

Yuuki sighed, willing her tears to go away. She walked over to her bed and sat down, absentmindedly stroking the soft cotton of her sheets.

How she wished that he was here with her in this moment. She didn't even care that he was upset or angry; she just wanted to feel his reassuring arms around her; hear his voice, inhale his scent…

And then she felt it.

She couldn't describe it in words; but it was the same feeling that burned in her that night when he returned from his mission and confessed to her that he wanted her. It was the same burning intuition she always felt when he was near; she'd realized long ago that Kaname was a mere extension of herself – wherever he was, she could feel him.

She looked up from the sheets, her hand stilling beside her.

And there he was, lingering in the dark.

Yuuki pursed her lips, her eyes latching onto his silhouette. She wanted so badly to rush into his arms, but she had no idea what was going on in his mind; she could barely make out the contours of his face, much less the emotion in his eyes.

"So you've returned to me," she whispered in the dark.

The sound of footsteps interrupted the eerie silence. His face came into view as he stepped into the soft light cast by the candles in the room. Garnet eyes sparkled mysteriously in the low light; Yuuki found herself holding her breath in awe as she was once again struck by her lover's mysterious beauty.

He was a man; a beast on the field and a killer – yet dangerously beautiful. Perhaps she was biased – she would not deny such an allegation should it arise – but in her eyes he was the most beautiful man to walk the Earth. Everything about him exuded grace and elegance; the way he slowly walked over to her reminded her of a black panther stalking its prey. Long legs, broad shoulders; strong arms that held her at night and a voice that soothed all her worries.

But his eyes… his eyes were her favorite part of him because they revealed what he could not put into words. Her knight was stubborn and mysterious; oftentimes he would opt for silence when discussing matters of the heart, instead showing his affection through simple actions – but at the end of the day, she knew that only one look into his eyes would tell her everything she needed to know.

That is why, as he stalked closer in the darkened room, she could not tear her eyes away from his.

He fell to his knees in front of her.

"I will always return to you."

She nearly closed her eyes in contentment upon hearing the sound of his voice.

"I thought you already knew this…" His eyes searched hers through the darkness. trailed off softly.

"I was unsure…" She croaked out. "This time."

Inwardly she cursed the hot tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

He reached up with his right hand, brushing her cheek tenderly as he stared into her eyes. Caught in the moment, she leaned into his touch, reveling in his touch.

They both remained silent as they looked into each other's eyes.

"You are my only light," he whispered hoarsely, breaking the silence. "In this dark world that shunned me, you came to me and you lit up darkened existence. You set fire to my soul, and you made me dream…"

He brushed her cheek tenderly, eyes softening upon her face.

"When you told me that you couldn't have a child, I was relieved…" He admitted. "It meant that I could keep you to myself for longer; that no one would ask questions, and we could continue on in the shadows…. But there was a part of me that filled with sorrow upon the news. As I fell deeper and deeper in love with you, I began to foolishly dream of having a family with you; of marrying you and watching you grow happily with our child in your womb… These images taunted me with the impossibility of their existence, and yet…"

His hand slid down to her stomach, gently stroking

"I keep thinking it's a miracle," he confessed, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "That we would be blessed with such a gift, surely it's a miracle…"

"Kaname…" Yuuki whispered.

"I want everything with you," he confessed. "I want to wake up every morning next to you as the sun rises; hold your hand as we walk through the gardens; cuddle together in front of the fireplace; read my favorite poems to you while you fall asleep in my arms; I want to marry you and make you my wife; raise our children together in peace and harmony as we grow old together. Yuuki… you have turned me into a foolish man filled with hopes and dreams."

Yuuki was speechless. Kaname never opened up like this; it was rare that he expressed himself in such a vulnerable, raw way – somehow it almost frightened her seeing him unravel. It was so unlike him – but she knew that in actuality this was as close as she'd ever get to his core; his innermost feelings and wishes that he so rarely exposed.

"I'm sorry for leaving you earlier…" He whispered, wiping away the tears that silently slid down her cheeks. "I'm sorry for hurting you."

"You didn't hurt me, Kaname," Yuuki said through her tears. She leaned forward, stroking his chin as he gazed up at her.

"I'm… afraid," he confessed. And as soon as the word left his lips, he felt a heavy burden release from his shoulders. It felt like he was confessing his deepest sin; the shameful secret he'd been carrying alone for so long – that he was afraid.

She cocked her head to the side, her eyes soft as she listened to him.

"I'm afraid of losing you," he confessed, "I'm afraid of being discovered and caught; I'm afraid of Rido and what he'll do to us; and I'm afraid…" His eyes lowered to her stomach. "I'm afraid for this little one growing inside of you and what kind of world they'll grow up in."

His eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "And I'm afraid… that I'll never get to see our child take its first breath. I'm afraid that I'll never get to be a father; never get to marry you and start a family. I'm afraid of everything I love being taken away. And that's why I panicked earlier. I let my fear of the unknown take over and I'm…" He held back a sob. "I'm so sorry."

She hugged him tightly to her chest, shushing him gently.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Kaname," Yuuki whispered gently, stroking the back of his head. "It's okay to be afraid. It's human to be afraid, Kaname – no one expects you to be fearless all the time, certainly not I. I don't blame you for running away earlier, because I knew you'd return to me eventually. I knew that because I know you, Kaname, and I know how strong you are and what you're capable of."

She retracted slightly from their embrace, pushing away the bangs covering his eyes. He gazed up at her almost like a lost child, his eyes full of emotion as he held onto her every word.

"And you know what?" She stroked his jaw gently. "I'm afraid too. I'm afraid of the future; I'm afraid of the outcome of this situation and what'll happen to us. But…" She leaned forward and kissed the corner of his mouth, gazing into his eyes. "I also know that I have you by my side, and I will never allow anything, or anyone, come between us. It's you and me against the world, my love," she smiled.

"Or actually," she laughed lightly, petting her stomach, "it's the three of us against the world, now."

"I love you," Kaname whispered. "I love you, I love you, I love you…"

He raised himself up slightly, his hands bracing him on the bed on each side of her. He angled his head, yearning for her kiss.

She kissed him back with ease, unable to hold back her smile. Despite the tragic nature of their predicament she couldn't help but feel hopeful as long as he was with her. Just his presence was all the reassurance she needed.

He pulled back from their kiss, gazing into her eyes as a goofy, but tentative smile grabbed a hold of his features.

"We're having a child," he breathed, as if he couldn't fully believe it.

"Yes," Yuuki nodded as she giggled.

"I can't believe it," he said, a look of awe on his face.

"Me neither," Yuuki smiled, stroking his chin.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" He blurted out suddenly.

Yuuki laughed, charmed by his giddiness. "I can't possibly know that yet, I'm only a few weeks along."

"Oh," he bowed his head. "Yes, of course…"

Yuuki couldn't believe her eyes; Kaname – the fiercest warrior in their kingdom – had a tinge of pink on his cheeks from embarrassment.

He was blushing.

Secretly she stored away the sight for a later time where she could fully revel in his cuteness.

Then his flustered countenance turned smug as a small smirk made its way onto his lips. Garnet eyes narrowed in delight.

"You're pregnant."

Yuuki furrowed her brows. "Uh... yes?"

Kaname pursed his lips, looking as satisfied as a fat cat with a bowl of milk.

"I got you pregnant," he purred.

Yuuki rolled her eyes as she giggled, launching her arms around his neck. "Indeed, you did," she quipped, her eyes sparkling. "Job well done, I suppose."

"I'm quite proud of my work," he said, leaning in close, nuzzling her nose. "You were told you couldn't conceive. And here you are, wonderfully impregnated by yours truly. I do have to say I enjoyed the process of accomplishing the impossible."

Yuuki snorted. "Can your sense of male pride get any bigger?"

Kaname grinned. "Oh, most definitely."

He crawled on top of her as she positioned herself in the middle of the bed.

"Hmm," he purred, looking her over.

"What is it?" She wondered, her voice low and soft.

"Somehow knowing that you're pregnant makes me want you even more," he said, kissing down her neck.

She wasn't one to deny him. She could already feel the familiar tingles all over her body; the rush of excitement bubbling in her blood knowing he was near.

"You're even more beautiful now," he paused, looking her over. "How do you do that?" He wondered, his voice soft and earnest.

"Kaname…" She blushed, embarrassed that such a simple compliment made her so giddy just because it came from him. He always made her feel so beautiful and adored; it almost felt like too much sometimes the way he'd silently worship her. She didn't deserve him.

"Hmm? It is the truth," he said, nuzzling her nose. "My beautiful Queen. All mine."

"All yours," she repeated, kissing him.

His tongue slipped into her mouth, massaging hers. Yuuki moaned into his dizzying kiss, yearning for more.

"Such sounds you make, Yuuki…" He said hoarsely, his eyes full of desire. "Guess I have no choice but to give in to my desire for you. Which works out well since, well, we'll need to practice for the next ones…" He trailed off, biting her earlobe.

Yuuki bit her lower lip. "N-next ones?"

"You think I'll just stop at one?" He pulled away and grinned. "Oh no, my love, we are going to have many children. The more beautiful you get, the harder it'll be for me to resist you."

"Is that so?" She said incredulously.

"Mhm," he quipped, deft fingers working on the opening of her gown. "Why?" He paused slightly. "Do you not want more children?"

"Of course I do," Yuuki softened. "But…"

"But…?" He repeated, his brows furrowing.

"Kaname…" Her eyes softened. "Do you know when our child was conceived?"

"Uh…" He muttered dumbly. "Well, there's been a number of instances in which it could have happened so-"

"Oh, you beast of a man," Yuuki rolled her eyes, ignoring the way he playfully growled when she dubbed him a beast. "Always thinking such dirty thoughts. Here are I am trying to share something beautiful with you."

"Well, enlighten me, oh beautiful mother of my unborn child," Kaname tsked, a gentle smile on his features.

"If I've calculated right then…" She bit her lower lip, gauging his reaction. "This child was conceived when we were at your childhood home…"

Kaname released the breath he didn't know he'd been holding, his entire demeanor softening instantly.

"Perhaps… the night we told each other that we loved each other," Yuuki smiled, a stray tear slipping from the corner of her eye. "The night that changed everything for us."

He kissed away her tears gently, gazing into her eyes. He took his time gazing at her, his eyes full of unspoken tenderness.

"What was my life before you? How did I even exist?" He whispered, his voice so low she could barely discern his words. "You've given me so much already. I, who never believed I would have a taste of love, am so… loved. By you. I never thought I'd find my person but…" He wiped the rest of her tears, smiling tenderly.

"Here you are." He bent down, his forehead touching hers as he gazed into her eyes. His right hand traveled to her belly. "Here we are."

"We'll get through this," Yuuki vowed, touched by his words. "I promise."

"I know," Kaname nodded, his hands discarding the rest of her gown. Yuuki quickly helped him out of his shirt, eager to feel him.

"Ngh..." Yuuki moaned as his digits dipped into her, teasing her sensitive flesh.

"I know, Yuuki," Kaname repeated as his mouth caressed her nipples.

Her eyes were dark with desire as he gazed into them; her mouth open in ecstasy, her chest heaving from his administrations. She was at his mercy, completely at his will and he loved how she submitted to him. He could stare at her for hours just like this; her naked body flushed from his touch, her eyes latching onto his every move, her mouth whispering his name so breathlessly…

"There's no one else in this world I trust like I trust you, Yuuki," he confessed, spreading her slender legs.

Yuuki widened them instantly, eager to feel him inside. She bit her lower lip in anticipation, her impatience increasing the longer he delayed their union.

Without breaking their eye-contact, he thrust inside her, his jaw clenching as the pleasure overwhelmed him.

"Ah," Yuuki moaned in relief, feeling him inside her channel, filling her completely. She felt so full and content; he belonged there, inside of her – closest to her core.

He paused, looking into her eyes, conveying his devotion.

"I need you," he whispered against her lips, thrusting again. "With me. Always."

"Ye…s," Yuuki quivered beneath him, overwhelmed by emotion as he rocked against her. "Mm, always…"

Their promised word spurred him on, his thrusts becoming harder and faster. He couldn't get enough of her; he couldn't get enough of her warmth; how easily he slipped in and out of her and how tightly she squeezed him. He could feel her legs tighten around him as she locked her ankles behind his back, and he loved it. He loved how she clung to him, her legs locking him in place as she screamed his name for everyone to hear. The possessive glint in her eyes. The sweat dripping down between her bouncing breasts.

He loved it all.

Loved all of her.

"Ah, Kanamehh…" Yuuki cried in ecstacy, climbing higher and higher. She could feel him inside her, his hard member hitting all the right spots as he angled his hips.

It was too much. The pleasure was so overwhelming she almost had to hold back tears. She could feel her body tensing as the pleasure built, like a strung wire. Just a little bit more…

"Don't hold back, Yuuki," he commanded, his voice dark and sultry.

He loved watching her unfurl in front of him; he loved the way she stuttered and crashed around him, her voice crying out such sweet melodies for his ears only. She could discern his dark grin between his long locks of raven hair.

"Come…" He coaxed. "Come for me."

Her release was violent and overwhelming, she cried in his arms as her wetness dripped down her thighs from where they were joined. Her high only spurred Kaname on further; he slapped into her as fast and hard as he could, enticed by the sound of her voice and the way her tightness milked him.

Yuuki cried as her second orgasm approached; it was too much, it felt like she was going to burst at the seams anytime. "Kaname," she screamed, "I-I'm… oh!"

As she came yet again, Kaname found his own release – both of their sweat-slicked bodies quaking against each other as they rode out the last waves of their orgasm. He emptied himself inside of her, groaning loudly as the tension released from his shoulders. Sweat trickled from the tips of his hair as he panted.

Her elegant fingers wove through his hair, slicking it back from his face so she could look at him. Her eyes were full of wonder and awe as he gazed tiredly into her depths.

She reached up and pecked him on the lips, yearning for a taste of him. He obliged, sighing happily as they kissed.