A/N: Dreamed up this bit of nonsense and using creative license I've completely disregarded the fact that Piccolo does NOT consume FOOD! This is all in fun and NOT to be taken seriously! Any flames will be used to roast hot dogs!
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters, Akira Toriyama does!
….
The Arrival of Raditz on Earth
Raditz snorted in disbelief as he floated out of his spacepod and set foot on the planet known as Earth.
"NOTHING should have remained here and yet this world is teeming with life!"
Had something happened to Kakarot or still worse had he simply failed to complete his mission?
'What have you been DOING all these years, Kakarot?' Raditz thought to himself angrily.
"Hey YOU! This here's private property! Now move along! GET OUTTA HERE!"
The long-haired Saiyan looked up from his musing to see one of the planet's inhabitants waving about what seemed to be some sort of primitive weapon.
A quick scan of the unimpressive being revealed a minuscule power level of 5. FIVE?
What kind of challenge was that for a SAIYAN WARRIOR? Kakarot had some VERY serious explaining to do!
Raditz gave a growl of utter annoyance as he effortlessly caught the projectile aimed in his direction. This insect was beneath his notice….
"T-That was a-a warning shot! NOW GET YOUR HANDS UP BEFORE…"
"WITH PLEASURE!" the son of Bardock declared.
Scorched grass marked the place where the hapless farmer had once stood. Raditz took to the skies as his scouter alerted him to a significant power level…
…..
Piccolo turned as he sensed a presence behind him.
"Green man, I'm looking for a man named Kakarot, I had thought that you were him."
The Namek looked at an alien the likes of which he'd never seen. Not that it mattered to him in the least.
"Well I'M NOT HIM! SO SCRAM!" the Namek barked.
"Someone's having a bad day!" Raditz taunted.
"Oh you have NO IDEA…" Piccolo started….
The third-class Saiyan blinked in disbelief as the green complexioned being went on a tirade.
"…my 'roids itch, I've been constipated for a STRAIGHT WEEK now, my crazy EX calls demanding child support knowing full damn well I CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THE FATHER of her little #$&*! My waterfall is getting REPOSSESSED…and.."
"I have something for you. I call it a DOUBLE SUNDAY…." Raditz began as he interrupted Piccolo's spouting off.
"WITH SPRINKLES? AND WHIPPED CREAM? AND CHERRIES ON TOP?!" Piccolo shouted gleefully.
He forgot about his rant in his excitement.
Just then Gine's eldest received a notification on his scouter…
"THAT must be Kakarot! It has to be your lucky day, green man!" Raditz called out as he set off in search of his younger sibling.
"LUCKY? LUCKY HELL! Now I'm CONSTIPATED AND HUNGRY!" Piccolo cursed.