And here is the next chapter, a lot sooner than i expected to do this.
I'll try to not forget about this fic (i do that a lot) so i can update more frequently, man i'm a lazy bastard.
Well hope you enjoy.
Time has passed since the 'frigid edge of spite' incident, Reimu has been wondering why she didn't get the ability to travel through time.
Dealing with the fallout of cirno's disapearence and what she tried to do... that and Lily White won't fucking shut up about spring, mainly because saving the white fairy made Lily too attached to Reimu.
Meiling was angry, thankfully not at Reimu that would have ended badly.
Marisa thought about getting close to the garden of the sun, just for almost everyone telling her to not be a suicidal bitch.
Daiyousei slaped the shrine maiden that in any other circumstances would have blowed up the little green girl, but she had a good reason to be that mad so Reimu let it slide.
And Rumia just dissapeared, Reimu didn't know how to feel about that.
Flandre seemed happier now, whatever talk she had with the ghost princess did wonders to the mood of the blonde embodiment of the big crunch.
Even though no one knows what the hell that talk even entailed.
All in all the results of the incident were a mixed bag some bad some good, one of the more mixed one's is that flandre told Yuyuko about death battle... and now she wants to watch it.
And considering that Marisa is the one with the fucking show and that she is unable to keep her trap shut, a lot of people will come to the netherworld to do the same thing.
Wich is probably why Reimu was ready to refuse, then Lily heard about it and started to annoy the shrine maiden until she took her to watch it.
And that takes us to the current situation in Hakugyokurou... that was the insults that Marisa and Yukari were throwing at each other.
"pussy-gaping whore!".
"Mushroom sucking bitch~!".
One must admit that thet were geting creative, Yuyuko was between letting them go at it, just because how funny it is and separating them out of curiosity towards death battle.
But that's why Ran is here, to keep Yukari in check (it's basically her un-official job), so while most would laugh at a Nine tailed fox separating a witch of hallowen and a purple obsesed hag it was funny for a while. but the one's present started to feel pity for her.
"Yukari-sama... please we just came to see this 'Death Battle' there is no need for violence" Ran was pleading at her Master.
Yukari being Yukari was about to refuse until Youmu opened the door of the temple and said "i finally made the damn screen work".
The gap youkai stared at Marisa for a moment then just laughed and entered the temple making Ran sigh and wonder why did she decided to work with someone that acts like a child atleast 80% of the time.
"Marisa let's just go inside and forget everything for a while" said Reimu who really didn't want to deal with this for a while.
The magician grumbled and entered the temple along with Reimu.
Lunasa looked at her sisters who were content playing their instruments "let's go inside, we'll have a lot of time to play when it's done" the two glanced at each other then went inside, Lyrica seemed eager and merlin just did what the eldest said.
Lunasa just rolled her eyes, being (technically) the eldest sister is such a pain in the ass.
Letty had no goddamn idea why was she here, Reimu just saw her and dragged her along for some reason but this seemed interesting enough so she went inside too.
Lily pretty much follows Reimu everywhere so we all know she is inside.
Yuyuko was pretty eager to start sitting in seiza like most of the people inside... the exception being, Marisa, the Prismriver sisters and Lily, they don't like cramps.
"quick Youmu!, put this show on the road" Yuyuko is still VERY eager.
Youmu did as told, dying a little inside just like Ran who shared her same proble a childish master.
(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)
"i missed those letters..." commented Marisa at seing the Death Battle logo.
Reimu nodded, this brings back good memories...
Boomstick: Last time on Death Battle, the Ninja Turtles battled to find the deadliest of the team, and good old Leo used cunning strategy and swordplay to come out on top.
Marisa sighed "well nothing good can last apparently..." And she just forgot about that one Death Battle.
"i feel like there is a history behind that" said letty while staring at marisa in wonder, feeling like there was a deeper meaning to what she said.
"don't worry about it" simply said Reimu.
Wiz: But the fight isn't over yet. Leonardo must face his most powerful imitator: Zitz, the leader of the mighty Battletoads.
"imitation... the greatest form of flattery" said Yuyuko with a smile on her face.
"or just a slap to the face" quickly came Yukari's reply who know very well of imitating... usually to piss people off.
Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Youmu at first though this would be just a waste of time but maybe this could be a learning experience.
(*Cues: Battletoads & Double Dragon - Main Title*)
Wiz: Zitz was computer engineered as one of three ultimate amphibian warriors in a gladitorial video game reality show called Battletoads. This accidentally opened a dimensional gateway to another galaxy. Every time the game began, the galaxy became the battletoad arena for their superhero war against the Dark Queen and they-
Lunasa was at lost at this point and so where her sisters, who could only stare like a baby that was just told what is math.
"i don't get it" said Lily more confussed than enyone else.
"i'm sure no one get's it" confirmed Youmu.
Boomstick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?
Wiz: Three nerds made a video game, got sucked through it into another galaxy, and became toad superheroes.
Boomstick: K, got it!
Yukari knows of bullshit and this was probably bullshit, of the highest caliber too. "and here i thought Gensokyo was the weirdest place to live..."
Reimu almost laughed at this "you haven't even seen the half of it".
Wiz: Zitz was originally colored yellow, to differentiate him from Rash, but he is now officially a blue-green hue. He leads the Battletoad team with a laid back yet strategic attitude.
"woah... nobody cares" Marisa flatly said.
Boomstick: He chooses to go with my personal favorite battle strategy:
"is it punching people?" Yuyuko tried to guess.
(*Cues: Battletoads in Battlemaniacs - Ragnarok Canyon*)
Boomstick: beat the shit out of everything that moves! And as a Battletoad, Zitz can shape shift his body into various weaponry: Giant fists, heavy weights, ram horns, you name it.
The ghost princess nodded "close enough, i guess".
Youmu tried to say that wasn't a strategy but knew that her Master wouldn't care about it.
"see Reimu?, blowing everything up is a viable strategy" Marisa said mockingly.
The shrine maiden rolled her eyes at her friends lack of inteligence "whatever floats your boat".
Letty muttered a quick 'hipocrite' making Reimu who heard it give her a flat stare.
Wiz: Unlike his teammates, Zitz has used his inventive genius to mechanically advance his weaponry far beyond those of his fellow toads. By combining technology and brawn, Zitz has added blades, saws and drills to his arsenal.
"If i didn't knew Marisa i would have said that brute nerds weren't even a thing" Reimu mochingly said, making The witch give her the stinky eye.
She hmmped exageratelly "that i have to read a lot of books doesn't make me a nerd, it makes me an intelectual".
"isn't that the same as a nerd?" she said wondering why was Marisa offended by what Reimu said.
Boomstick: This guy could be the world's best handyman, if he always wasn't getting sucked into an alternate dimension every time someone turned on a video game.
Yuyuko thought back of all the people that are dropped in gensokyo... most of them endup in the netherworld after they die and since they had no idea how they died, not that they care since more than half of them are suicidal.
Wiz: Despite almost having no actual combat training, Zitz has proved strong enough to power through some of the toughest games ever made. And yes, the games excruciating difficulty is canon as it was specifically programmed by the Battletoads themselves.
Boomstick: Yeah, try and wrap your brain around that one.
Yukari just shooked her head "even i don't want to do that..." it made less sense than her gaps.
Zitz: I'm the big bad mother of all toads!
Lily needed to say this "but i thought he was a male".
Letty knew that this conversation woul lead to a horrible conclussion "don't think about it too much".
(*Cues: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) - Main Theme (Rock/Metal Cover)*)
Wiz: We briefly covered his abilities last episode, but there's plenty more to Leonardo. He's trained in Ninjitsu and Bushido all his life, shaping his body and mind to master close combat, swordsmanship, honor and the art of invisibility.
Boomstick: He's also the strategist of the turtle team, who are now all dead. Sooo... yeah.
"fucking..." and once again Marisa remembered it again.
Yukari was curious of this, they were bringing up a lot the pass fight both Reimu and Marisa are uncomfortable with it too, makes her want to know what the hell happened before.
"what an insensible bastard..." muttered Youmu.
Wiz: Leonardo is especially skilled in use of environment to outsmart and outmaneuver an opponnent. He is also the only Ninja Turtle in any timeline who has studied under two masters, Splinter the rat, and the Ancient one.
"a Kappa ninja?..." asked Yuyuko.
Yukari shook her head "no dear a ninja turtle... yes it's different".
Lunasa doubted that, frankly the only difference she was aware is that Kappa's just steal your sould while also raping you... or something like that.
Boomstick: Hey Wiz, look! It's an Asian Yoda! ...What? Leo wields two Ninjaken swords, which are best for swift deadly strikes and are designed with the idea that a good offense, is the best defense. They're usually mistaken as katana in the shows and comics, even though they are obviously straight, rather than curved.
"yoda?..." asked Youmu who didn't why that was relevant, the swords that the turtle uses were weird in her eyes, she can see how they would be used... but when she really thinks about it she can't help but feel like they're a mistake.
Wiz: The Ninjaken is, in fact, an invention of Hollywood, as there is no historical evidence of the weapon's existence.
Well that explains everything thought the swordswoman.
Boomstick: Like the moon landing!
"i'm sorry, what?" Hearing Yukari say stuff like that will usually throw everyone off, since she seems to know everything.
Ran knew that this was just gonna bring more things to do for her... she just knows it.
Wiz: Shut up. While he usually relies on his brothers' solid teamwork, he has proven to be a very effective warrior on his own too, defeating all sorts of enemies like ninja robots, giant monsters, war-torn aliens and even The Shredder.
Youmu has found her bet for the winner of this match... and well almost everyone know who is gonna win in the room, except Marisa who will allways go for the one who hit's the hardest, Lily because she loves being unaware of everything and Lyrica doesn't even care she just wants to play music.
"this fight looks a little unfair..." said ran, an inexperience nerd againts a battle hardened warrior? seems pretty obvious who would win.
Leonardo: (swiping his sword at a foot ninja) Gotcha. (then kicks the foot ninja)
Zitz jumps over a wire fence and walks forward as Leonardo jumps out of the sewer. Zitz turns to face his opponent.
"ram into him moma toad..." muttered Marisa.
FIGHT!
Zitz uses his ram horns to knock Leonardo into the fence.
The magician blinked once "i didn't mean it literally".
"so it wasn't an innuendo?" asked Yukari.
The curious Liryca was wondering what the hell even is an innuendo and as if reading her sisters mind Lunasa answered her question "it's a dirty thing that pathetic people talk about".
Yukari gave a discrete glare at the eldest Prismriver without knowing that Ran was staring at her in exasperation thinking why did she have to deal with this shit.
and as Leo bounces off, Zitz kicks him with an iron boot and then punches him away with a giant fist. Leo recovers just in time to avoid Zitz' drill attack and kicks him twice, only to get countered by a giant fist and a spiked wall. After pummeling Leo some more, Zitz throws him towards the wire fence...
"when is he going to fight back?" wondered Letty who was just seeing a turtle getting smacked around by a toad.
(*Cues: I Beam Fight - TMNT*)
...only for Leo to flip onto his feet and defend himself from Zitz' giant fist. Leo hits Zitz twice and stabs him once
"people watching this have a really good sense of timing" Reimu commented wondering how manny times that has happened before.
Letty didn't have the context to her words but for some reason she agreed with the shrine maiden.
but Zitz turns into a weight to defend himself from Leo's swords. Eventually, Leo jumps into the sewer as Zitz returns to his normal form and jumps into the sewer.
Youmu nodded at this action "i was wondering when would he fight with his strenghts" since it was obvious that a straight fight wouldn't favor a ninja... since they are ninja's silent killers better suitted for stealth. (looking at you naruto and your crazy explosions).
"because the fight wouldn't be fun" chirped Yuyuko really pleassed with this fight.
(*Cues: Battletoads & Double Dragon - Next Level (Remix)*)
As Zitz scouts around for Leo, the turtle jumps out of a hole in the wall, stabs Zitz with his sword and jumps away. Leo tries this again, but Zitz grows a buzzsaw leg, which Leo dodges.
"damnit! fight like a... turtle?" said Marisa frustrated with Leo stile of fighting.
Youmu didn't agree with her, you should never let your oponent dictate the way the fight would go.
Ran didn't really care a lot, but could see that the ninja was gonna win and most people should be able to see that, she was mainly here to keep an eye on her master... and let Chen deal with the housework, that little cat knows how to do it she just really likes to fool around it would be a nice experience for her.
Zitz gives chase and finds that Leo has disappeared. Leo jumps out of the wall and hurts Zitz. Enraged, Zitz attacks the wall that Leo jumps back into through the hole. This distraction allows Leo to swim through the water and then slice Zitz in half.
The swordswoman could respect such a swift strike.
"it's as brutal as the name sugest" Yuyuko is not even faced by this.
The prismriver sisters were hiding behind the oldest of the three, Lunasa wondered how could literally dead people could be scared of death.
"fuuuu... whatever" Marisa took it as well as everyone expected.
Reimu was a little surprissed that her friend didn't seem to see this one comming.
Yukari blinked at this, it has been a while since she last saw blood she usually just dropped suicidal or crazy humans on the forest for the yokai and left... Ran is probably right if only just a little, she is getting lazy.
"that wen'r about as well as i expected" Letty really wasn't surprissed by the result... much less from killing others she hugs people to death sometimes.
Lily didn't even knows what just happened so she just smiled.
K.O.!
(*Cues: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) - Season 8-10 Closing Credits Theme*)
Boomstick: Damn.
Wiz: Zitz was more than a match for Leonardo in a simple brawl, using his brutal arsenal to overpower him; But when it came to using the environment, Zitz couldn't handle Leonardo's ninja skills and his lack of training left him frustrated and unsure of what to do.
"well yes... too bad fights to the death let everything be fair" Yuyuko is maybe a little too okay with this thing.
Yukari wanted to laugh at this notion "no Yuyuko, fair isn't even a real thing" it is a little bit sad how much she believes that.
Boomstick: While Zitz is a strategist, he always relies on his brute force and once Leo went in stealth mode and turned the tides, Zitz decided to just bring the whole sewer down. Hey, c'mon, Leo fights all kinds of mutants and monsters at least once a week.
Reimu blinked at this information "if the fight was so clear to begin with why even bother with it?"
Lily was the one to answer "for fun!" scary how right that was.
Wiz: Of all the toads, Zitz certainly stood the best chance with his technologically advanced weaponry, but while the Battletoads are known for accomplishing impossible odds, so are the Ninja Turtles. Leonardo made quick work of Zitz as soon as he had the chance.
"just like Reimu said... if the outcome was obvious why even have this fight?" repeated Youmu annoyed.
Just for Marisa to answer "like Lily said, cause it's fun".
Boomstick: In the end, Zitz just needed to pull himself together.
Yukari blinked owlishly "please tell me that's not a thing".
The laugh that Reimu and Marisa shared was enough of an asnwer.
Wiz: The Winner is Leonardo.
Boomstick: Again.
Yuyuko stared at the screen for a momment then said "that was fun, let's do it again"
Ran was about to say no and take her master with her knowing that this could get out of control in no time and said gap yokai would use this as an excuse to run away from her duties... that and Chen would get too worried if they took too long.
but.
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle.
A small green dinosaur seems to be looking around on a field that seems to be made of orange grass and white flowers.
"well that's one cute lizard" said Yukari.
All of a sudden from a pipe comes a red-ish humaniod dinosaur that roars at the small one scaring it.
Marisa stared dumbly at the screen "that's just not fair".
Oh she had no idea how right she was.
This was pretty short, then again a lot of the first episodes of death battle are just as short.
I'm also writting a Fate/ stay night fic even though i know jack shit about it, why do i always writte stuff without knowing the full details? probably because i'm dumb.
See you all next Time!.