So I did a thing. I wrote this really long chapter a while back and only found the time to finish it. Hopefully this will be what someone needs to put that smile back on their face. I truly hope that you guys enjoy this chapter just as much as I have writing it. And no, I'm not crying. You're crying!
Through Your Eyes
Ever since Caitlin was a little girl, she dreamt about changing the world. Just like her father and his father before him. Both of them were respected scientists in their fields, each contributing to the betterment of humanity. There was nothing but respect for scientists in her eyes and even though her father warned her that this path wasn't going to be easy.
Not once did she waver in her choice.
The last decade of her life was spent in pursuit of her dreams and it was finally going to pay off. In just a few short months, she was going to become Doctor Caitlin Snow, PhD in Biomedical Engineering.
That is if she doesn't fail in defending her dissertation. In theory, it was a sound thesis and even Professor Wells approved of it but as the deadline drew closer and closer, she was starting to regret her decision. Every moment of her waking being was spent in the lab, trying to put her thoughts onto paper but nothing would stick. Her fingers wouldn't type, almost if her mind came across a roadblock that she couldn't circumvent.
There was a knock on the door and she looked up, silently glad for the distraction. Caitlin smiled when she recognized her best friend and roommate standing by the entrance, holding several cups of coffee. "Cisco!" She happily greeted. "What are you doing here? I thought you were meeting up Cynthia."
"I am but she would kill me if I didn't bring you some refreshments from Jitters." He held up his hands to show her. "And I also picked up those chocolate pastries that you like so much."
"You're a lifesaver!" She exclaimed, walking over to help lighten the load. "I don't know what I would do without you!"
"I do." Cisco replied, handing her the bag of pastries. "You would be a nonstop workaholic with no aspect of any social life." He saw her rolling her eyes but with that chocolate croissant in her mouth, she couldn't verbally answer him. He placed the coffee next to her laptop and took the opportunity to sneak a peek at her work. His eyes quickly scanned the page and wondered why she was having so much trouble with her thesis. She was literally the smartest person he knew and if the committee couldn't see that, then there was something obviously wrong with the system. "You missed a comma on line 3." He cheekily pointed out. "You can't use that word here. It doesn't mean what you think it means but other than that, I think you got this."
"If only that was the least of my worries Cisco." Caitlin answered, finishing the last few bites of her croissant. "I don't even know if I can finish this in time. There's just so much to do..."
"Hey. Deep breathes remember? That's what Denpok Singh taught us. In the face of adversary, we first must focus on ourselves before we can something something..." Cisco trailed off, struggling to remember what their mediation guru used to say.
Caitlin snorted. "That scam artist? You know that I only took that class because you wouldn't stop pestering me right?"
"Yes but you can't deny that his wisdom helped us during our turbulent times. Remember that backstabbing, good for nothing Hartley?"
"Of course but -"
"But nothing!" Cisco said, waving his finger at her. "Denpok was a man that was ahead of his time and his words have power. Don't you see Caitlin? You have these imaginary chains around your feet and the only one who can free you is yourself." He stroked his chin, trying to imitate a wise sage. "Don't let yourself drown. Not when you can swim."
"Maybe later Cisco." Caitlin interrupted, reaching for her laptop bag. She started putting her stuff away as she saw the time on her phone. "I have a meeting with Professor Wells right now. He's agreed to sit down with me to review what I have so far."
"With the Professor Harrison Wells?" He dramatically. "Oh. My. Gosh. Do you think. Like. He would sign my napkin? I've always wanted to be in a presence of a celebrity."
She rolled her eyes again, taking his napkin and crumpling it. "Keep it up Cisco but when I finally become a doctor, guess who won't be invited when I win the Nobel Prize."
"Oh we can't have that." Cisco quickly changed his tune, walking over to Caitlin's desk and finished packing for her. "We can't have you being late now. Go meet with Wells and I'll settle for being outside, in this lovely spring weather with the sun shining down on my fairly tanned skin while I hang out with my amazing girlfriend Cynthia." He sighed and stared at the ground, mockingly kicking the floor as he walked out of the room. "Some people just have all the luck."
His eyes then widened when a thick textbook flew at him. If it wasn't for his quick reflexes, it would have struck him in the face but it didn't. He ducked and ran out, laughing the entire way. He would make it up to her later.
Caitlin walked into Hinds Hall where Professor Wells was currently holding office hours. She quickly found his office but just as she walked in, he was already in the process of putting on his jacket. "Professor Wells?" She hesitantly asked. Please don't be leaving, she thought but her fears came true when he didn't stop and reached for his briefcase.
"Oh Caitlin. I'm sorry but this is unfortunate timing." He apologized. "I'm afraid that we'll need to reschedule this meeting for some time in the near future. Something has come up that requires my attention."
"This won't take long Professor. I just have a few questions -"
"I'm truly sorry Caitlin but this matter cannot wait." He walked past her and swung the door open. "But don't worry. I've made arrangements to have someone come help you in my place."
"What did you think of my dissertation?" She asked as she walked towards the door. "Does it need more work?"
"Yes."
Caitlin groaned, knowing that it definitely needed work and Professor Wells all but confirmed her suspicions. "What can I do to improve? Do I need to narrow my scope?"
"No."
"No?" She was confused. "No that it can't be improved or no that I don't need to narrow my scope?"
Professor Wells stopped and turned around, sighing as he stared at the young woman standing before him. In all of his years of teaching, he has never met anyone as bright as her. It pained him greatly that he couldn't be here today to help her. "Caitlin. It's neither of those and I am very sorry that I cannot stay to explain what I mean but I promise that someone will be here to help you. Please trust me on this. If you can wait in my office for a few minutes, Allen should be here soon."
"Allen?" She repeated the name, not recognizing it upon review. She was sure there wasn't anyone on the faculty board with that name but she merely nodded, knowing that she couldn't delay her professor any longer. She gave him an understanding look and turned around, sadly walking back. As she entered the office, she sat down in the chair by his desk with her dissertation on her lap. While she waited, she started reviewing her work, idly flipping through pages and making little notes on the margins.
The time on her watch slowly moved, eventually her frustrations getting the better of her. She scowled and stood up, angrily slamming her paper onto the desk. Whoever this Allen person was, he was thirty minutes late! It was unprofessional and she wasted enough time with this charade. She reached for her bag and then the door swung open forcefully. The action caught her by surprise as she stared at the young man.
He was breathing heavily as he hunched over, using his legs as leverage to keep himself upright. "H-Hi. So-Sorry." He mumbled, holding his hand up. "I couldn't find this office." He took several deep breathes before returning back to normal. "They told me it was in Hinds Hall but I ended up going to Carnegie Hall and before I knew it. I was running around the entire campus trying to find Doctor Wells' office. You would think there would be signs around."
Caitlin continued to stare at him, unable to believe what she was hearing.
"Are you Caitlin Snow?" He asked, his cheeks then turning slightly pink. "So sorry." He apologized. " I should have asked that before."
She nodded her head, unsure of what to make of this man. "Are you Mr. Allen?" She asked in response.
"Yes, I'm Barry Allen." He answered, offering his hand. "Doctor Wells told me that one of his students was having an issue and asked me to fill in for him. What can I do to help?"
She then explained how she was stuck on her dissertation and wanted some guidance on where to go. She held out her paper and flipped through it, pointing out areas where she thought was weak and maybe needed a stronger argument to support her thesis. "What do you think I should do?"
Barry pondered the question for a few seconds before rubbing the back of his neck. "Maybe you should take a break." He suggested. "It feels like you've been high-strung on his assignment for a while."
"Take a break?" She squeaked, surprised by his recommendation. "How can you tell me to take a break now? Don't you know how important it is to write a dissertation? You obviously must have written one if you received your doctorate. This university wouldn't have hired you otherwise."
It was at her statement that he started fidgeting. "Um...I hate to break it to you but... I'm not a professor her..." He meekly replied. "Or anywhere else. I don't even have a doctorate to my name..." He saw her jaw dropped and chuckled in response. "I'm just your average CSI employed by CCPD."
Her eyes widened, unable to believe that this was the man Professor Wells recommended. Not only was he unqualified, he wasn't punctual or knowledgeable. She groaned in disappointment and lowered her head. "... Can you help me understand why you're even here? No offense but there are definitely people more qualified than you that Professor Wells could have asked and I'm struggling to understand why you."
"Does that really matter?" He asked, his eyes staring back at her. "When I look at you, I don't see just a student. I see someone who needs help and if it's within my powers, I will help you. That's why I'm here and if you trust Doctor Wells, you should trust me as well. Trust in his confidence that he did the right thing by asking me to come here."
He could see the arguments going back and forth in her head. It didn't take an actual genius to see how conflicted she was. "Just try me Miss Snow. If you don't like what I have to offer, you're free to walk away and you won't have to see me again. Isn't that a win-win situation for you?"
She bit her lips, wondering what kind of game this man was playing but the more she stared into those green eyes of his, that anger, that frustration she felt earlier started to melt away. "Fine." She mumbled, sitting back down. "For my dissertation, I plan on proving that my cure for ALS can become a reality." He whistled in response but he made no attempt to stop her. "Currently in the medical world, there is no viable cure for ALS. There are only treatments to improve the quality of life but what I found, what I discovered... It could change the way the human body even handles ALS."
"You're very passionate about this topic." Barry commented, picking up on the emotional cues in her words. "Do you think perhaps you're over analyzing the scope a little? Maybe you should reconsider broadening the scope of ALS and what it means for people."
Over analyzing? Reconsider? Those words felt foreign to her and it took everything she had not to stand up and snap at this man. She clenched her fists and over the course of several deep breathes, Cisco's words came to mind. "I will think on that Mr. Allen." She said, gritting her teeth. "Thank you for your time." She stood up and promptly walked out the door, closing the door a little too forcefully behind her.
Barry sighed and leaned back; his head tilted backwards as he stared off into the ceiling. "Great first impression Barry." He muttered to himself. "First you're late to the meeting and then you offered nothing insightful. It's no wonder she left."
The next day, Caitlin went back to the lab, hoping to find that inspiration that she lacked but when she got there, she was surprised to see Barry. After what happened yesterday, she wasn't sure where she stood with him. She stood in the doorway, quietly looking inside to see his reaction but his attention seemed to be focused on that stack of papers in front of him.
Was he reading some other student's dissertation? She took another step forward, to get a closer look but immediately recognized the documents that he was holding. It was hers! She stepped into the lab and cleared her throat, getting his attention. "Mister Allen." She cordially said his name. "May I ask what you're doing with my paper?"
Barry looked up and smiled, gesturing for her to come inside. "After our conversation last night, I didn't believe that it was right of me to judge your dissertation without fully understanding what it is so I called Doctor Wells and asked him if he could give me a crash course into your research."
"And...?" She asked, curious to know.
"Well... It's... not the easiest thing to digest." He admitted. "I had to rely on google for a few things..."
She wasn't upset. Caitlin repeated to herself that it wasn't his fault that he didn't understand but the longer he stood there looking at her paper, the more willpower it took for her not to lose her composure again. She calmly walked over and snatched the paper out of his hands, silently glaring at him. She scoffed as she turned around, clutching the papers against her chest. This was one topic that she was very passionate about and she was not going to let some CSI who barely understands science belittle her work.
"Caitlin." Barry called out. "Look I'm sorry if I said or did anything to upset you..."
"Upset me?" She retorted. "Why would I care what a CSI thinks about my work? In fact, what would a CSI even know about anything other than the basic chemicals needed to detect and detain criminals? You guys aren't inventing anything new. You guys aren't developing a cure that would change mankind for the better. All you do is work with dead people."
He observed her quietly, looking at her without commenting. Caitlin sighed once more and walked to the opposite side of the lab, putting in enough distance between the both of them. She didn't mean to lash out at him like that but her words just came out.
"I do understand Caitlin." He spoke up after a few seconds. "Even the dead deserves justice. Just because I'm not proactively trying to find a cure to save people does not mean I'm not trying to make the world a better place. For me, I'm not here to convict criminals just for the sake of putting people behind bars. I'm trying to make sure that innocent people aren't put away for crimes that they didn't commit. That's the difference between regular CSIs and myself."
She didn't know what to say, his speech caught her off-guard. She was already feeling bad for what she said earlier and now she felt terrible. "I'm sorry." She said, realizing that she judged a book by the cover. It was a mistake that most people make with her and it was something that she hated.
"It's okay." Barry answered, getting up and stretching. "Mistakes happen but it's what we do with those mistakes that makes us human."
Caitlin stared at her substitute professor, surprised by the wisdom behind his words. She stared at him, noticing that he couldn't be that much order than she was.
"I have to get going but make sure you work on your dissertation." He reached for his jacket, fixing his collar he slid his arms through it. "If you need me, I'll be back in the afternoon."
With the papers in her hands, she stared at them for a few seconds before putting them back onto the table. "Do you want to go to the pier with me?" She asked. "It's just a short walk from here and it's a nice day."
"What about the deadline?" He asked. "Don't you need to work on your paper?"
"You did say that I needed a break." She replied, smiling back at him. "Perhaps a walk will help clear my head."
"Sure. Why not." He said, opening the door for them. After what happened, perhaps a reset was what they needed to move past this awkwardness. From what he read about her research, it was groundbreaking and if it actually works, it would definitely help a lot of people. As they made their way to the pier, Caitlin found herself staring at him from the corner of her eye, trying to figure out who Barry Allen is.
"So... What made you want to become a Biomedical Engineer? Seems very ambitious." He asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.
Her cheeks blushed. "I wanted to develop cures to save lives... to reduce the grief in this world..."
"That's very noble." He commented. "I wish there were more people like you. Do you know who you want to work for when you graduate?"
"Yes I do!" She nodded, smiling at the thought. "S.T.A.R. Labs alongside Professor Wells."
He grins in response. "Then I guess we'll be seeing each other more often." He notices her confusion and then started to realize what he was implying. "Not in that context. Not like a stalker type of deal." He stammered. "I'm referring to the partnership between CCPD and S.T.A.R. Labs. They allow us to use their equipment for research and analysis..."
She laughs but her cheeks were a little flushed as well. "Why did you want to be a CSI?"
"Oh you know... This and that." He vaguely answered. "Besides working at CCPD is awesome. Did you know that I have the same perks as a policeman? You would think that running red lights would get tiring but it never does. I'll let you in on a little secret though."
"Yeah? What's the secret?" She whispered, leaning closer into him. "I promise I won't tell anyone." She giggled, putting a finger to her lips. "I'm a good secret keeper. You can trust me."
"I have a siren in my jeep."
They shared a laugh and from there, the day only went uphill. They spent the entire afternoon going on rides and challenging each other to ridiculous competitions. To her surprise, Barry was able to eat a lot of corndogs in one sitting. He eventually drove her back to her apartment, biding her a good night before driving away. It wasn't until she was in the shower that she realized that even after spending an entire day with Barry, there was still something about his past that made him reluctant about the future. She could feel his hesitation but decided to leave it alone. She figured that whatever it was, it was his own story to tell.
But despite everything that happened today, he still had shown her a glimpse of who he really was and if she was being honest with herself... she kind of liked what she saw there.
Cisco pulled up a seat next to Caitlin, not at all surprised to see a stack of books on the table. "Caitlin. Earth to Caitlin." He called out her name several times, trying to get her attention. "Hey, are you planning on going to the event mixer tonight?"
Caitlin finally looked up and shook her head. "I can't. I have to finish my research if I'm to incorporate it into my dissertation."
He pouted and reached for her laptop, successfully taking it away. "Don't you know that old saying? All work and no play will make a Caitlin Snow a lonely cat lady."
She giggles and rolled her eyes. First Barry and now Cisco? Is she giving off some kind of vibe that makes people want to tell to relax? "I promise that it'll be done soon Cisco. Why don't you just go with Cynthia? She loves a good party."
"For your information, I've already asked her but ever since you had your freak-out, I haven't seen my best friends in days and I kind of miss her. If I was the jealous type, I would be very jealous of Barry." He smiled at her reaction, as she started stuttering. "Unless there's something going on between the two of you." He wiggled his eyebrows, silently making suggestions. "Maybe there's more to those private lessons that you've been attending after hours."
Her cheeks turned tomato red at the implication and strongly protested, "We're just friends. Nothing else!"
"Nothing else? Are you sure about that? A little birdy told me about that date of yours. The one where you guys were all lovely-dovely at the pier."
"It wasn't a date!" She argued. "We went there as friends Cisco. It would be like if I went to the pier with you."
"You know what Hitch said right? All it takes is just three dates to fall in love with someone." Cisco said, quoting a movie. "That was just date numero uno. You still got two more."
Caitlin scoffed. "That was a movie. This is real life and besides, I don't have the time to date. I'm actually pretty busy trying to graduate in case you didn't notice."
"Love isn't something that you can avoid forever Snow. One of these days, it's going to come up when you least expect it." Cisco warned. "Don't fight it Caitlin. It's been a long time since Ronnie and who knows... Maybe Barry is that something that you've been missing all these years."
"Goodbye Cisco." She said dismissively. "I have work to finish."
"You're still coming right?" He asked as he stood up, standing by the table as he waited for her answer. "It'll be fun. You can stay for an hour and then go back to your lair."
"Fine fine." She muttered. "But only one hour!"
Later that night, true to her word, she came. Caitlin walked into the reception hall dressed in a slim, red dress. She tugged on her straps uncomfortably, wishing that she was in sweatpants instead. Her eyes scanned the room, trying to find Cisco and Cynthia in this sea of people. She eventually gave up and walked towards the bar, hoping that a stiff drink would calm her nerves.
"Caitlin?"
Someone called out her name and she turned her head, surprised to see Barry standing already at the bar, smiling at her. Her eyes gave him a once-over, pleasantly pleased to see how nicely he cleaned up. She then shook her head, mentally scolding herself for having these thoughts for a platonic friend.
"Hi Barry." She greeted, reminding herself that he was just a friend. "I'm surprised to see you here."
Barry laughed. "Doctor Wells forwarded me his invite since he couldn't make it and since I had nothing else to do, I figured I might as well check out how the other side of the academic profession lives."
"Did we meet your expectations?" She teased after giving her drink order to the bartender. "This is usually a monthly thing, to support a local charity as well as an opportunity to catch up with each other in the scientific community."
He nodded, taking a sip of his water. "It's a nice change from the boring panels that I've attended. Much more interesting folks here." He said as he looked at her.
She felt her skin getting warmer and warmer by the minute, thankful that the drink was helping slightly. "Will you be making a donation tonight?" She said, changing the subject. "It's for an animal shelter you know."
"Of course." Barry answered, taking out an envelope. "I've always wanted a dog but I couldn't get one when I was younger so here I am, making sure that all those animals in the shelter will hopefully one day find their forever homes."
"I would've pegged you for a cat person. I can totally see you at home with at least two cats."
"I don't think I'm a cat person." He admitted. "Dogs are more my speed and besides, cats are evil. When was the last time you've seen a movie about cats where they aren't plotting world domination?"
She paused to think about that. She thought about movies for the past five years and he was right. There wasn't any movie that depicted cats in a good light. "Fine." She pouted. "But if you were to get a dog, what would you name him or her?"
"Lucky." He said, grinning. "Cliché, I know but it's the first name that comes to mind without actually seeing him."
"Lucky..." She repeated. "Lucky as in Lucky, the Golden Retriever Lucky?"
"Yup." He answered and she laughed. "Lucky is a strong name for a dog Caitlin. You just have to believe."
The more that they talked, the more natural it felt. It was almost like she's been with Barry her entire life instead of these past two weeks. There was something about him that made her smile. As she looked around, she no longer felt out of place. She felt like she belonged here with him.
Like being wrapped in a warm... safe... blanket.
Before she knew it, Barry had excused himself to drop off his donation. She only smiled, whispering for him to come back soon. "So that's the mysterious Barry Allen." A voice from behind her spoke up. She yelped in surprise and turned around, greeted with two sly smiles from Cisco and Cynthia. "I can see why you wanted to keep him to yourself Caitlin. He's cute in a nerdy way."
"Ha!" Cisco exclaimed, smiling as his eyes shifted between his girlfriend and his best friend. "I told you so."
Cynthia slapped Cisco on the arm playfully. "Don't make fun of Caitlin's future husband. Do you think we can meet him?"
"Yeah! I want to make sure he's good enough for our Caitlin." He chimed in, narrowing his eyes as if he was trying to measure the man from a distance. "Can you tell me a little more about him? Perhaps I should do a full background check along with a credit score..."
"Cisco! No!" Caitlin answered, mortified at the idea. She turned around and started pushing her friends away, putting some distance between them and Barry. "First. You need to dial that back to like a 3 and no, there is nothing going on between us."
"For now." Cisco added. "Wait. Where did he go?"
The three of them turned their heads, trying to see where Barry wandered off too but they couldn't find him. Not in this crowd. They eventually gave up but ever since he came into her life, she didn't know what to feel about him. He was different from everyone else. He didn't want anything from her and it threw her world upside down.
There was a loud knock on her door, someone very annoying and persistent wouldn't take the hint that she didn't want to be disturbed. In fact, it was only nine in the morning. Why would anyone want to be up so early on a weekend?
The knocking continued and she groaned. She stayed out later than she wanted which meant she only had a few hours of sleep. "I'm coming." She mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. At first, she hoped that by ignoring the incessant noise, the person would figure out that no one was home but it didn't stop.
"What!" She yelled as she swung the door open. "Can you not take the hint!?" The person standing in front of her took a step back, surprised by the outburst but unfortunately for her, it was the one guy who she kind of liked. "Barry?!" She croaked. Her eyes widened and then slammed the door. "One minute!" She shouted as she ran her hands through her hair, trying to fix it up as humanly as possible.
"Um morning Caitlin." Barry greeted, unsure what was going on. "Is this a bad time?"
"No." Her muffled voice answered and a second later, the door opened and Caitlin stood there trying to look like she didn't just roll out of bed. "Morning Barry."
He laughed and held out a cup of coffee and a croissant. "Are you free today?"
"Besides working on my dissertation?" She asked while taking a sip of that warm liquidity goodness. "Why, what did you have in mind?"
Barry only held a finger to his lips, keeping them closed but his eyes reflected the humor that he was keeping in. She sighed and then walked back in, closing the door behind her. His eyes widened, surprised by her actions. "H-hey Caitlin! Where are you going?" He asked, perplexed by her actions.
"What does it look like?" She shouted over her shoulders. "I'm going to change out of my pjs while contemplating on how you can be this perky so early in the morning."
His grin only grew larger, knowing that she didn't flat out turn him down. It was a gamble coming here without making plans but it was definitely something that she needed. It was the same look that he had when he was working nonstop on his father's case, hitting so many roadblocks and the only way around it is to give your brain a break and there was no better break than to spend the day at the Central City Science Museum. His inner geek was really excited to come back here, something he hasn't done in years but he only hoped that this visit would provide some kind of inspiration for Caitlin.
The drive over was short but along the way, he kept one eye on Caitlin, who continued to stare off into the window. Occasionally she would take a few sips of her coffee but his smile never once leaving his face. A small part of him was anxious as well, unsure how she would react to his surprise but as soon as they pulled into the parking lot, he heard her gasped.
"I take it that you approve?"
"Yes!" Caitlin excitedly nodded. "This was one of my favorite places as a little girl. I would spend my Sundays here with my father, visiting different exhibits and playing around with their little science games."
"I'm glad." He replied, getting out of the car. They walked up to the ticket counter and before Caitlin could pull out her credit card to pay for her ticket, Barry held out his arm and showed his badge to the attendant. The person took one look and waved them through, leaving Caitlin with a curious look on her face.
"I solved a case for the director of the museum so he gave rewarded me with a lifetime pass here."
That little piece of news left her feeling a little impressed and made a mental note to actually google Barry in the near future. Perhaps she would involve Cisco since he was good with researching people's background but then decided against that idea. She didn't want to give him the wrong idea about her relationship with Barry.
They wandered into the museum, spending a little bit of time at each exhibit. What she found out about Barry was that he wasn't just another guy who knew enough science to do his job. He was fascinated with science in general and was able to keep up with her whenever she went off tangent. It didn't even annoy him when she did that because in the past, she found that most men... and some women, were intimidated by her knowledge but not him.
He was happy to step aside and let her talk. It was different and, in some ways, a refreshing change.
The two of them became inseparable after that. As time passed, Caitlin was able to find bits and pieces of her inspiration, slowly coming to an understanding to what Professor Wells and Barry was trying to tell her but as the deadline was drawing closer, the number of rewrites that she did kept increasing. She was currently in the lab working again, experimenting with different possibilities and looking at the end result from different viewpoints.
"Your last draft was good. I think it's your best one yet." Barry said, making his notes on the side.
"It's not good enough." Caitlin muttered. "I have to keep working."
He sighed. "Listen Caitlin... You've been at this for days now. You need to take a break. The human body can only function for so long without rest."
"I'll sleep when I finish this paper." She sternly replied. There were only a week left to get this done and she was halfway through the next rewrite.
"Caitlin..."
"Enough Barry! What would you know about writing a paper that can define the rest of your life? You're just a CSI. There's probably about ten of you sitting in a lab doing the same exact procedures while there will be only one of me trying to change the world." She exclaimed, raising her voice. "The world needs me to finish this research more than it will ever need you."
Perhaps it was the lack of sleep that got to her but whatever it was, she didn't realize how much her words had affected him until it was too late. She could see the emotions swirling in his eyes and just as quick as it came, the hurt vanished.
"Okay."
It might have been one word but it felt like someone just stabbed her with a rusty knife. "Barry. I didn't mean it." She was quick to apologized but she could see him already pulling away. "I'm so sorry."
"I get it Caitlin. It's fine. Good luck on your paper." He waved off her apology and walked out of the lab, not bothering to look back.
Her eyes started to water and she wiped her tears with her hands. Her heart breaking with each passing second. Regret washed over her as she wanted nothing more than to make him understand that she didn't mean any of it. She was just under a lot of stress. She kept wiping away her tears, wishing that they would stop but her eyes wouldn't listen. They just keep falling from her cheeks.
She reached for the stacks of napkins located on a nearby shelf but what she didn't realize was that in her haste, she pulled down several beakers in the process. It caught her by surprise as she fell to the ground in a crumpled heap, the last thing she remembered was a loud crash before her vision fading to black.
It was hours later when Cisco wandered into the lab, whistling and looking for his best friend. He wanted to see if she wanted to grab some dinner but when he entered the room, there was this rotten egg smell that caught his eyes. He coughed a few times but he continued forward, guessing that the smell came from one of Caitlin's experiments. His eyes soon widened when he saw her lying on the floor unconscious and not moving. "Caitlin!" He shouted, running over and feverishly shaking her shoulders. "Come on. Wake up."
When there was no response, he reached for his cellphone and dialed for help.
Barry came rushing into the hospital, heading straight for the nurses' station. "Where is she? Where is Caitlin Snow?" He knew his actions caught the nurse by surprise but he didn't care. There would be apologies later but right now, he needed to know where she was.
"And you are?" The brunette nurse asked, regaining her composure. "Unless you're a family member, we cannot give out patient information."
He clenched his jaw, trying to keep his temper in control. He lowered his hand was about to reach for his badge when someone called out his name. He spun around and saw a brunette woman walking towards him, holding a cup in her hand.
"Barry? Oh my god Barry. Thank god you're here."
He didn't recognize her but since she knew him, he could only assume that she knew Caitlin. He pulled his hand back and nodded. "Hi Yes. Hello." He quickly greeted. "Are you Caitlin's friend?"
"Yes. We're all in here." She gestured for him to follow, taking him into a nearby hospital room. When they entered, she walked over to Cisco who had a serious expression on his face. "How is she doing?"
"The same." He muttered, still sadden at her condition. "Hey Barry." He weakly greeted, wishing that they were meeting under better circumstances.
"Hello." Barry returned the greeting as he walked over to Caitlin's bedside. "How is she?" He asked, turning his attention to the doctor in the room.
"She's stable for now." The doctor replied, flipping through her notes. "I'm told that her mother is on the way. Do you know when she'll be arriving?"
Everyone but Barry nodded, his attention never once leaving Caitlin. "She should be here soon. She's a few hours away so if there's anything that we can do right now, we can make that call while she's driving here." Cisco said, catching Barry up to speed. He pulled out Caitlin's cellphone and dialed her mother's number. They waited for a few minutes before the call connected. "Hey. Everyone's here and Doctor Goodwin wanted to discuss next steps."
"Before we start, I want to make one thing crystal clear. Money is not an option here. Whatever operation, whatever treatment. I don't care. I want the best for my daughter."
"I know and we all want the same thing for Miss Snow but you need to understand that sometimes, money isn't the option." Doctor Goodwin argued, trying to set expectations.
Her mother paused and a brief silence followed. "You better save her doctor or so help me god."
"We will do our best."
"What are we still standing around for then?" Barry asked, speaking up for the first time since the call started. "What can we do?"
Doctor Goodwin sighed, knowing that the diagnostic wasn't good. "Miss Snow came in this afternoon with extreme damage to her eyes. We immediately rushed her into surgery in attempt to save them but it was already too late. Normally we would be doing a transplant and she would be in recovery but unfortunately this hospital ran out this morning. The fastest we can get another set is by tomorrow morning and usually, that would be fine but she needs them now if she's ever going to see again."
"You ran out?!" Her mother, Carol, shouted from the phone. "How is that even possible? The last time I checked, this was the twenty-first century!"
"I'm sorry." The doctor muttered an apology. "I'm afraid there's no other way."
"That's where you're wrong." Barry spoke up, turning his attention towards the doctor. "There is another way."
"I'm afraid you're mistaken."
"You said Caitlin needed another set of eyes, right?"
The doctor slowly nodded, unsure where this man was going with his line of thought. "Yes that's right." She said, carefully choosing her words.
"So I'll give her mine."
Everyone in the room went silent, unable to speak to the weight of his decision. It was something that no one could take lightly but Cisco was the first one to speak up. "Barry... You don't need to do this. I've known Caitlin the longest here and I am her best friend. I should be the one to do this."
"It can't be you Cisco." Barry replied, shaking his head. "Caitlin would never forgive herself if you did that but me? I've only known her for less than two months. She can't get angry at someone she barely knows..." His mind drifted to their last conversation, the one where he walked away and he knew that if he hadn't walked away, she wouldn't be in this position.
"I can't let you do this." Cisco argued. "She would never forgive me..."
"This isn't up for discussion." Barry sternly answered, his eyes sweeping the room. "Let's hurry Doctor Goodwin."
Cynthia had tears coming down her cheeks as she listened to the selfless act from Barry. She threw her hands around him, pulling him into a hug. "Thank you, Barry." She whispered and then took the phone from Doctor Goodwin. She could hear Carol mumbling through the phone asking about the man who was going to save her daughter. She quietly walked into the corner and started talking to her.
"Come with me young man." Doctor Goodwin gestured, opening the door in front of her. "We'll need you to sign some liability forms before we can begin but, in the meantime, you can use the phone in my office to call your loved ones."
"That's not needed." Barry softly answered, intentionally lowering his voice. "I'm an orphan."
The next few hours were a blur for him, the last thing he remembered was a voice telling to count backwards from ten. He always wanted imagined that if he was going to be put under anesthesia, he would at least make it to the end but he only heard the number eight before blacking out.
"Someone will need to be here when he wakes up."
"I'll do it."
He could hear these voices around him but he wasn't sure what was going on. He could feel certain parts of his body so he shifted his legs, the cotton fabric rubbing against his feet. He coughed a few times, his mouth dried. "Wa-water." He mumbled, his memories coming back to him. He heard someone in the room running over and the sound of liquid being poured into a cup eased him slightly.
He felt a pair of hands moving towards him, the feeling of paper gently being pushed against his lips. "Here Barry. Please take it slow."
His body didn't listen. It wanted water more than air itself and in his own haste, he choked on the water. After a few more seconds, his body relaxed and he leaned against the hospital bed. "Whose there?" He asked, unable to recognize the voice from earlier.
"It's Cynthia." She softly spoke. "Ho-how are you feeling?"
An image of the brunette popped into his head and he relaxed his shoulders. "Just a little sore... I guess this is what it feels like to be blind huh?"
"Barry!" Cynthia gasped, surprised at his morbid humor. "This isn't a joke!"
"I know it's not." Barry quietly replied, his fingers gripping his bed sheets tightly. "Sorry about that..."
She sighed and reached for his hand, gently squeezing them. "Why did you volunteer to give Caitlin your eyes?"
"Caitlin was the best thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life." Barry started off saying. "I didn't have parents growing up. My mother died when I was 11. My father was sent to prison for a crime he didn't commit and I spent the rest of my life bouncing from foster home to foster home. I spent most of my career trying to prove his innocence but he passed away an innocent man."
"I did eventually prove his innocence but it was too late. I didn't know what to do with my life anymore but it wasn't until I met Caitlin, where she showed me her passion that I realize that I shouldn't have given up so easily. Her laughter, her innocence, it was a breath of fresh air." Barry then stopped and smiled. "She was my friend and she gave me so much, but I couldn't give her anything in return. Giving my eyes to her was the only thing that I could've done to repay her for what she did for me."
Cynthia was crying softly, trying not to make a sound as tears rolled down the side of her cheeks. He didn't need to see to hear the tears that were falling. His hand gently squeezed hers, telling her that it was alright. "Caitlin told me that you always wanted a dog." She said, trying to keep her emotions in check. "What kind of dog would you want?" Barry's lips turned upward, smiling.
Caitlin opened her eyes, blinking a few times as the light entered her view. The world was sparkling and shining unlike anything she's seen before. Everything was glowing, filled with happiness. She saw Cisco sitting in the corner, his eyes closed and his hands resting on his lap.
"Hey Cisco."
Her voice seemed to have woken him up and he jumped up from his seat. "Caitlin!" He shouted as he rushed over. "I was so worried about you!" He wrapped his arms around her, gently squeezing her. "Do you know where you are?
She nodded, able to deduce that this was a hospital room. Something must have happened for her to be here. "What happened to me?"
"You were in an accident." Cisco explained and then the door opened, her mom walking in holding a folder. Her mother ran over and pulled her into a tight hug. At this point, with everyone giving her hugs, she was starting to feel smothered. "Can someone please tell me what happened?" She asked again but all she received were looks of hesitation.
"Tell me." She strongly urged. "I need to know."
Cisco and her mom looked at each other before silently agreeing that her mother should take this one. "Honey... I need you to listen to me and I need you to promise that you'll let me finish talking before you react..."
Caitlin nodded, mentally bracing herself but was then distracted by the folder. She reached for it and opened it up. Her eyes widened, surprised to see her dissertation in there. "Mom... Why do you have my papers?"
"Barry told me to hand it in for you."
A feeling of dread washed over her as she didn't know if she could open the envelope containing her results. "Is he here...?" She whispered. "Is Barry here?"
"He's... um... outside." Cisco said, gesturing towards the door. "There's plenty of time for that though Caitlin. Why don't you get some rest and I'll tell Barry that you're awake?"
Caitlin swung her legs over and stepped into the hospital slippers, grabbing the folder as she stood up. "I've never felt more rested in my life." She said, stretching out her arms. She could hear the bones cracking from her light stretching. "I really need to talk to him." Giving them both another quick hug, she slowly walked out of her room, taking a deep breath of hospital air. It wasn't fresh air but that can wait until she found Barry.
As she made her way outside, her eyes looked around, searching for that familiar face. She scanned the area, eventually finding Barry sitting alone on a bench, wearing his usual jeans and button-down. "Barry!" She called out, getting his attention as she made her way over.
"Hey Caitlin." He whispered as he felt her presence approaching. His lips turned into a smile as he could hear the excitement in her voice. "You're awake."
"Yes!" She answered. "And guess what! The committee gave me the results of my dissertation. I thought we can look at this together." She passed the folder over into his hands, expecting him to reach for it but when he pushed it back, she frowned. "Don't you want to be the first one to find out?"
He shook his head, "I think it's only right that the potential and future doctorate read it to me." He teased.
"Barry..." Caitlin found herself hesitating, a sinking feeling washing over her. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong here. "What are you..." It was then that she noticed that he was wearing sunglasses in the afternoon, underneath some shade. She's never once seen him with a pair of sunglasses, even when they were at the pier but for some reason, he was wearing them now.
A bark then interrupted her, surprised to see such an obedient dog sitting next to him. She leaned forward and saw a beautiful golden retriever sitting there, his tail happily wagging at her. "When did you get a dog Barry?"
"Cynthia picked it out for me. I asked for the laziest of the bunch and she gave me this one."
"That was rather unexpected. I didn't know you wanted one."
"The timing couldn't be more perfect."
Caitlin narrowed her eyes, staring at the way he was holding onto his leash. It was almost like he needed the dog... Her eyes then widened, the pieces suddenly fitting into place. Her memories of before she entered the hospital came back and quickly turned around, staring at her own reflection. At first, she looked around her face, wondering if anything's change but she was quick to realize that instead of her usual brown orbs staring back at her, it was in a shade of green.
She gasped, turning her attention back to Barry. "No no no. Tell me you didn't Barry."
He didn't answer and Caitlin started trembling, her body shaking from the unexpected discovery. "Why would you do something so stupid? I would have been fine. I could have lived without my eyes you idiot!" Tears started to slide down her cheeks and memories of their last fight came to mind. The anger. The guilt. She couldn't understand why Barry would go through this for her after all that.
"Answer me Barry Allen! Why would you do something so incredibly reckless!"
He could feel the raw emotions behind her words and it wasn't something he wanted for her. He didn't want her to be upset about his decision so he reached over with his hand, trying to mentally gauge where her face was. Caitlin stared at his hand and leaned forward, pressing her cheeks against them. His thumb gently caressed her skin, smiling as he felt her shivering from the contact. "You shouldn't cry Cait."
"I can't help it." She said, quietly crying. More tears coming as she felt his kindness radiating from him. "Why would you give me something so precious Barry?"
"Because it's you Caitlin." She turned her head and stared at him, her heart beating faster and faster. "Before I met you, I was on a path with no one in my life. I was alone and solely focused on the pursuit of cold cases. I was dedicating my life on bringing closure to those families instead of living my life. Since I've met you. You've shown me that there was more out there than just being a CSI and despite just how stubborn and annoying you are... I found myself falling for you."
"Me?" She squeaked, surprised by his confession. "Barry... I..."
"Hey hey. Don't worry if you don't feel the same way that's fine. I just... wanted you to know that. Cards on the table and all."
"Barry."
"Yeah?"
"Stop talking." She insisted as she cupped his cheeks with her hands, pressing her lips against his. His body tensed up from the initial contact, surprised by her actions but he couldn't ignore those soft lips of hers. His hands, by some miracle, found themselves wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him.
Kissing her... it was like his body was floating on air, lighter than he's ever been before. It was an intoxicating feeling, kissing the one woman who he's fallen in love with.
Kissing him... there's no way to describe the ecstasy that she was feeling. After her failed relationship with Ronnie... she didn't think she would believe in love again but here was this guy, who gave up his future for her and if that wasn't pure, unconditional love... she didn't know what is.
It wasn't until the sound of Barry's newly appointed golden retriever barking did they pull away, each of their lips slightly swollen. Barry coughed and hid his smile, trying to keep his face from permanently looking like an idiot. "So... should we open that envelope Miss Snow?"
"I don't know. I would rather keep kissing you." Caitlin pouted, resting her head against his chest. She could feel his heart steadily beating alongside hers, a rhythm that she didn't think she would ever grow tired of listening.
"Caitlin."
She sighed and pulled out the folder once more, this time opening the envelope. He could hear the rumblings of paper and he waited with anticipation. "Dear Miss Snow... blah blah blah... We are informing you that after reading your dissertation..."
"And?" He pressed, anxious for her to finish reading the rest of the letter. "Don't keep me in suspense now."
"I passed." She whispered. "I passed Barry!" She screamed, dropping the letter and throwing her arms around him again. "I can't believe it. We passed!"
Barry laughed at her excitement and shook his head. "Not we Caitlin. You passed. This was your hard work. Your dedication to your thesis that made it all possible. I was just some CSI who happened to be at the right place at the right time."
Seeing him like this, going through what they went through, graduating didn't seem so important anymore. Finding Barry and knowing that he loves her was worth more than doctorate in the world.
"Barry?" Caitlin suddenly asked, "What did you name your dog?"
Barry laughed, remembering their conversation from a few weeks ago. "It's not Lucky if you're wondering."
Caitlin grinned. "So what did you name him?"
"I was going to let you decide. It'll save me from being judged by you in the future." He teased.
Caitlin playfully scowled but let it slide. She paused before a name popped into her head. "How about Gideon."
He repeated the name a few times in his head and it felt right. "Gideon huh... I kind of like it."
I hope you guys enjoyed this one shot. Reviews are always welcomed.