A/N: Sorry for the long delay. I have not forgotten this story.

*Big thanks to sendtherain for beta'ing for me.

*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.

...

Chapter 2 -

Christmas 2016.

They were supposed to be together this year.

Last year he'd been with Patty. The year before Iris had been with Eddie.

This year it was supposed to be them.

He'd waited all his life to be with Iris West. To be with her until they were both old and gray. To have it end just shy of their seven-month anniversary, and on Christmas Eve no less, felt like a cruel and unusual punishment.

But Barry had chosen it. He had chosen Iris's safety over his panic and her happiness. Now he was going to spend Christmas alone.

"No, Joe," he told him over the phone, not bothering to hide the weariness in his voice. "I don't think it's a good idea for me to come over this year."

"It's Christmas, Bear," the older man insisted. "You guys can stop fighting for one evening, can't you?"

"We're not just fighting. We broke up."

Silence hung in the air.

"Look, Joe, you and Iris didn't speak for what - six months at least? Now, I don't know, but I assume that means you didn't spend Christmas together last year. You should have that chance."

"Bear-"

"No, Joe." He sighed. "I know you want both of us there and you want us to be happy, but…I really think this is the best way to do things for right now. You can always stop by later if you want to say hey. I'm sure Cisco will too."

Joe's shallow breathing could be heard, but that was it.

"Look, I gotta go…do stuff." He didn't know what. He'd planned to spend the whole morning being lazy and affectionate and generous with Iris. "I'll talk to you later," he said. "Merry Christmas."

Joe still didn't say anything, but Barry hung up anyway. It was getting too painful.

He tossed his phone to the side and looked up at the lit up Christmas tree that was only half-decorated with ornaments. (Iris had insisted he let her do those. "You can't rush Christmas decorations!" she'd said & he'd let her be with a good-natured chuckle.)

He didn't know if he'd even bother himself with finishing putting them on the tree. It'd feel like ignoring the fact that Iris was gone. Yet leaving it undone was a reminder of what had happened.

He and Iris were through.

…

Laughter could be heard from down the hall. Two voices. A man and a woman's. The woman's definitely belonged to Iris, but Barry couldn't make out who the man she was laughing with was. For some reason his need to know who it was overpowered any and all logic that tried to thwart him.

He tossed aside the light blanket onto the couch and started down the hall. The laughter ceased at some points, causing him to stall, but it always started up again; and with it, Barry's unquenchable thirst to see what was so funny and what kind of man could make his girlfriend laugh like that.

Every step seemed to take him farther away from where they were. It was at that moment it dawned on him he might be dreaming.

He shook his head, pinched himself, tried to speed away – but couldn't. Terror gripped him. He could feel sweat dripping down his neck. And right at that moment, the laughter turned unbearably loud and he was suddenly standing outside the room of its origin.

He pushed open the door that was cracked open and stepped inside. First, all he saw was an old record player. Relief washed over him briefly when it became clear that's where the sound had been coming from. It also explained why it might have occasionally stopped. But only if someone had stopped it, or if it had been listened to so many times that it skipped.

But who would do that?

Barry lifted the tone arm up slightly and to the side, so the record would stop playing. There was silence for a moment, and he thought maybe he would get lucky enough to wake up.

But then another sound reached his ear from the opposite side of the room. He sensed movement and followed it with a turn.

There, suddenly before him, was a king-sized bed. And intertwined in each other beneath the sheets was Iris and her dearly departed, Eddie Thawne.

Barry caught his breath.

"I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming."

The vision of Iris before him caught his gaze and he couldn't look away.

"Oh, but you're not."

She peeled back the silk sheet she'd been twisting beneath and walked toward him. Barry was aware of Eddie staring after her hungrily and felt a tide of nausea sweep over him.

"I am," Barry repeated, as if it would help trying to convince the dream versions of Iris and Eddie to believe anything his subconscious didn't want them to. "I'm, he's—"

He started to look towards the bed, but Eddie was no longer there. His brows furrowed, wanting to find logic in the confusing scene before him, but then Iris's hand was on his face, turning him gently to look at her.

"Kiss me, Barry," she whispered.

Her voice was a siren's song. It beckoned him and washed all reason from its shaky place in the mind of his dream world.

He hesitated a little, but when her hand curled around his neck, sifting through the hairs at the base of it, his lips descended on hers. He kissed her, urgently, passionately, desperately, and with tears because it wasn't real yet he needed it. He needed one last kiss from Iris West.

Without warning, the pressure of her lips was gone. The feeling of her arms wrapped around his was gone. Her body flush up tightly against his was gone.

He opened his eyes and saw her near the head of the bed. Eddie was back under the covers again, waiting for Iris to return to him.

"Iris?" Barry breathed.

She put her hand in Eddie's and set one knee on the edge of the bed.

"You ended things, Barry. You did this."

Barry swallowed hard and watched as the love of his life crawled into bed with her former lover. He watched as she kissed him and wrapped herself around him.

"Eddie's dead," he managed, though he could barely force the word out. "This isn't real."

Iris broke away from the kiss and turned to look at him over her shoulder.

"He's just a stand-in," she said simply with a shrug.

Before the words left her mouth the vision of Eddie turned to Cisco. Barry coughed and tears welled in his eyes.

"Cisco?" he asked incredulously. He could hardly breathe.

The vision changed again, this time to Julian.

"Julian?" Barry's eyes widened, horrified as Iris stroked Julian's hair. He saw her dip her hand beneath the sheets and golower. The look of ecstasy on Julian's face was enough to tell him what was happening.

"No." Barry shut his eyes tightly and turned away from the scene. "No, no, no. This isn't real. Cisco wouldn't do that to me. Julian has a girlfriend. And he wouldn't be that petty. I don't think. I don't know. You wouldn't. I-"

Her presence appeared before him again, making his eyes flash open.

"Wouldn't I? You asked for this when you broke up with me, when you had no objection to seeing me move on with someone else. It may not be your best friend or your nemesis, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. I will scoop up one of them."

He felt the air being sucked from his lungs at that statement, but before he could respond she faded away again. He turned around and found the room empty and cold. No Iris, no Eddie, no Cisco, no bed, no sheets, no record player, no record. Just emptiness.

Then he woke up.

Barry blinked and looked around the room, looked down his body and found the light blanket still laying haphazardly over his too long frame. He saw the Christmas tree half-decorated, only the colored strand of lights completed because Iris was too tall to reach to the top of the tree, so she insisted he should do it right away.

Still hazy, Barry heard a sharp rap of knocks at the door, which startled him so much that he fell onto the floor.

"Barry?" came Cisco's voice from behind the wooden door. A chill settled in his gut as the vision from his dream flashed before him. Another set of knocks jolted him back into reality. "Barry Allen, open this door." A pause. "I know you're in there."

With a sigh and a groan, Barry managed to get to his feet and fling open the door, repeating the mantra to himself that Cisco would never betray him by dating Iris.

A disgruntled, disappointed, impatient Cisco stood before him. Much to Barry's relief, he was alone.

Without asking permission, Cisco marched past his best friend, stopped at the Christmas tree and was turned around with one eyebrow raised by the time Barry had closed the door and returned to him.

"This tree looks pathetic, Allen."

Barry searched for explanations, both truthful and otherwise. Iris was going to finish it. Iris wanted to wait. I was going to get around to it. I was working on it right before you got here. I was… I was… She was… She was… But none of them reached his lips.

Cisco slumped in on himself before Barry had come up with something believable to say or registered anything outside of his own present miserable state of mind.

"Joe told me what happened," he said gently.

Barry blinked and looked up at him.

"Joe told you?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah, at the party you didn't show up to. It would've been nice if you had told me, of course. You know, me, your best friend, the guy you tell everything to? I did not really appreciate being so blindsided that I—"

"The party…" Barry's eyebrows furrowed, not hearing the rest. "The party…"

"The annual West Christmas party? The one you told Joe you were refusing to go to because things would be too awkward with you and Iris in the same room?" Cisco expounded, exasperated.

Barry ran a hand through his hair, landing on the back of his head, his mind spinning.

How long had he been asleep?

He dug through the couch cushions, found his phone, and gaped at the time blinking back at him.

9:45 p.m.

"Jesus," he muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, I'm sure he's not overly thrilled you missed the party either," Cisco snickered with arms folded across his chest.

Barry spun around and looked at his best friend, at a loss for words again.

"Was anyone trying to get a hold of me?"

Cisco raised his eyebrows. "Check your phone."

Barry did. Three missed calls. Five texts. Two missed calls. One from Iris.

A lump formed in his throat, one he couldn't get rid of.

"Don't-" Cisco warned when Barry's finger hovered over the delete button for Iris's message.

Barry turned to look at him, eyes alight with surprise.

"Don't what?"

Cisco scoffed and closed the distance between them.

"You know what. You were going to delete Iris's message without even listening to it."

Barry swallowed and looked back at the phone, his finger still frozen in mid-air above it.

"It's probably angry," he explained. "Or she's crying. Or she's numb and neutral and hating me. That might be the worst."

"Or she might want to pick up some of her stuff," Cisco suggested.

"On Christmas?" Barry asked.

Cisco shrugged. "Why not? You ditched the one event you've been to without fail since you were eleven. She's allowed some petty revenge too."

Barry's brows narrowed. "It wasn't petty revenge. Joe and Iris were at odds last year. They didn't get Christmas. I was trying to give it to them without having the big elephant in the room staring at them."

"Got news for you, bro." He reached up and put a hand on Barry's shoulder. "Christmas isn't Christmas for them unless you're there."

Barry shook him off and started to pace.

"It would've only made Iris more upset. I don't want that."

"You didn't seem to have a problem making her upset by breaking up with her."

Barry turned around suddenly, his eyes wide with understanding.

"You're here on Iris's behalf. To yell at me."

"Someone has to. Caitlin's not going to. She's too forgiving and understanding. And you're like a son to Joe. There's no way he would."

"And Wally's not qualified?" he pushed. "As her brother, I would think he'd feel more justified than you would."

"Because I'm your best friend and not hers?" he asked icily.

"Because he's her brother," Barry spat, then sighed, annoyed at how the conversation had escalated and in what direction. "Look, I don't know what you expect me to do. I'm already suffering enough." He didn't tell him about the dream; didn't want that to become any more real.

"Unbreak-up with her!" Cisco said. "Then we can all go back to the way things were. I guarantee you if you grovel and make some promises that you mean to follow through on, Iris will come running back into your arms."

"But I wouldn't mean them, Cisco."

Cisco slumped in on himself.

"I thought you loved her, Barry."

"I do."

"More than anyone. Enough to get past all this."

Barry didn't respond to that.

Cisco sighed and headed for the door, evidently concluding that nothing he could say would change Barry's mind.

"Do me one favor," he said just before leaving.

Warily, Barry turned to face him, only barely managing to make eye contact.

"What?"

"Finish decorating your damn Christmas tree."

Half-hearted smiles appeared on both of their faces, but they were gone only seconds later. So was Cisco. So was any other social interaction Barry would have for the rest of the night.

Barry turned to look at the Christmas tree, glittering with lights, star-less, adorned with only half the intended ornaments. He shook his head, tears filling his eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Iris," he whispered.

Then he took down the decorations.

In a flash.

...

A/N: Thanks for reading. Happy reviews are love. :)