A/N: Reworked this chapter quite a few times until I felt satisfied, so I hope you like it and I hope it's not too long! Anyways, thanks for reading. Your continued support means so much to me!
Chapter Five: Grand Mal
/ˌɡrand ˈmal,ˌɡrän(d) ˈmäl/
Etymology: late 19th century French, literally 'great sickness'
The Original Family and Vincent returned to New Orleans as the sun began to rise. Hope was with Hayley, far away and safe so that the little girl would not be in danger of losing both parents all at once. Meanwhile, the Mikaelsons had taken turns speeding down the highways at well over one hundred miles per hour. The panic was heightened by the fact that neither threats nor pleas would get Vincent to open up about what was going on with Klaus or the city.
"Just tell me why you shifted your allegiance," ordered Elijah for the tenth time during their road trip. "I need to know what we're up against."
"You'll find out soon enough," said Vincent ominously as they whirred past the signs of urban development. He drummed his fingers nervously against the window, careful not to move any other body part lest he wake the sleeping blonde vampire resting on his shoulder. "And honestly, Elijah, I'd rather not risk death by sharing things Klaus doesn't want me to share."
"Your integrity will also get you killed," said Elijah. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel. But Elijah couldn't think straight, not when it came to his brother. He had a horrible feeling that Klaus was already dead or dying.
Eventually, after nine tense hours of bickering, death threats, and vague plans for revenge against Marcel, they arrived in New Orleans.
"Where do you live?" asked Elijah through gritted teeth, still on the verge of killing the first person to cross him that day.
Vincent directed them to his apartment in the French Quarter. Finally, as they approached his home, Vincent felt that same sensation of darkness and grief that he had felt emanating from the tunnels. The overwhelming sadness made him stop in his tracks and lean against a light post for support.
"What's wrong?" asked Rebekah with a slight frown.
But Vincent didn't hear her. He worried that Klaus was dead. He worried that Klaus was kidnapped. He worried that Klaus was in the same broken state as when Vincent had first found Klaus in the tunnels. How could he let the Mikaelson clan see Klaus like that? Klaus would never forgive him.
"Let us in," demanded Elijah, eager to see his brother, but Vincent couldn't decide. Maybe he should go up by himself first to check on Klaus.
Suddenly, Elijah grabbed Vincent by the throat and squeezed just enough to make Vincent genuinely fear for his life.
"Invite us in…or I will rip your heart out," Elijah whispered.
"Eli, stop!" cried Rebekah, but Freya held her sister back.
Vincent gasped and clawed at Elijah's stone grip. He struggled for breath and stared into those desperate brown eyes. Vincent knew he didn't have a choice anymore. He nodded frantically before Elijah squeezed harder. Then, Elijah let go, and Vincent fell to the pavement. Rebekah swooped down to comfort Vincent and rubbed his back gently.
"He's already helping us," Rebekah snapped at Elijah. "You don't have to hurt him."
"Family first, Rebekah," said Elijah sternly.
"Come in," Vincent rasped. "Apartment 4B, but the deed was probably already invalidated anyways you psychotic bastard."
The siblings looked at each other with solemn expressions, and turned to enter the apartment complex.
"Wait," ordered Vincent between ragged breaths, "one of you should just go up alone."
"If this is a trap…" started Elijah.
Vincent shook his head and rubbed at his bruised throat. "It's not a trap," he said, "but please trust me. Klaus wouldn't want everyone to see him like this. He's been…different lately."
Silence weighed on the family as they tried to decipher Vincent's vague words.
"Okay, I'll go alone," said Elijah quietly. "Wait on my signal."
With that, Elijah dashed up the stairs and left everyone behind in morbid anticipation.
As he approached Vincent's apartment, the smell of Klaus' blood was powerful enough to make him stumble and catch his breath. Elijah braced himself as he opened the door, but what he saw inside was a relatively normal scene. The apartment seemed to be in order, but the strong stench of blood wafted down the hall. He walked quickly as he saw wooden splinters littering the floor like a trail.
"What is this?" he muttered under his breath, and looked up to see that a bedroom door had been obliterated. "Niklaus?" he called, but there was no answer.
Elijah's blood pressure skyrocketed. He knew there were only three options with this deafening silence. Either Niklaus was taken, injured, or dead. Panicked by thoughts of white oak or Marcel's deadly venom, Elijah entered the room without caution.
"My god," choked Elijah as he stumbled backwards in shock.
There was his little brother, nailed to the wall like an animal in a butchers shop: naked, bled out, and unconscious. Blood covered one side of Klaus' body like a waterfall from the puncture wound holding him up. Elijah felt acid rise in his esophagus in conjunction with his level of anger. He wondered how long Klaus had been crucified like that, and how long he had been made to suffer prior.
Elijah took a deep breath to steady his rage, and moved forward to help his brother down. He yanked the wood from both the wall and Niklaus' shoulder. Niklaus fell forward like a ragdoll into Elijah's arms, and Elijah carried Niklaus to the bed.
He sat and cradled Klaus' head in his lap. Then, Elijah bit down into his own wrist to tear open the veins for Niklaus to drink. The blood the dripped from his wrist was indistinguishable from the already catastrophic amount of blood covering his little brother. Steadying himself with another deep breath, Elijah brought his wrist to Klaus' dry lips. The blood dripped down Klaus' throat, and soon Klaus drifted back into consciousness. Elijah felt Klaus' lips become firmer and softer as they tightened around Elijah's wrist, sucking the blood from Elijah's veins in earnest. Finally, Klaus' wounds began to heal, and his eyes fluttered open.
Niklaus struggled to take a rattling breath.
His lung hurt from being pierced for ten hours.
"Brother," whispered Elijah as he brushed back the blond, sweat soaked hair. "You're safe now. You're okay."
"Elijah?" he asked in a daze, and looked up to see his brother's concerned and horrified expression. Klaus hoped this was a dream. He didn't want anyone to see him like this.
"I'm here for you, Niklaus," said Elijah softly. "We will kill whoever did this."
"No," whispered Klaus as he shook his head. Memories of the evening resurfaced. Elijah couldn't take them on without meeting the exact same fate, but Elijah didn't understand this, and didn't reply.
Then, a cool draft on Niklaus' skin reminded Klaus that he was still very much so naked and exposed. Klaus felt inexplicable shame building in his chest. He felt Elijah's eyes burning into his skin, and heard his father's words echoing in his head: 'nothing more than an object for public use'. His simple nudity felt sexualized and wrong.
"Clothing…" groaned Klaus as he tried in vain to build up the energy to move.
Silently, Elijah slipped off his suit jacket and laid it down over his brother's midsection.
"Shower…" said Klaus just as softly as he held the suit jacket tightly to his chest. Wrapped in fine fabric, he felt dirty and pathetic. The silk lining was a stark contrast to sticky feeling of old sweat and blood matted on his chest hair.
Elijah gently propped Klaus up on the bed.
"Do you need more of my blood?" he asked, but Niklaus waved his wrist away. He refused to be seen as weak in front of Elijah. He could do this.
Klaus tried to get off the bed, but his legs shook like a newborn deer, and he fell backwards into Elijah's arms.
"Klaus, if you need help…" started Elijah, but Klaus scowled and grit his teeth. He took a deep breath and tried again. This time, Klaus fell forward onto the floor with a thud. His vision went white with pain as his newly healed shoulder hit the floor, and he groaned while struggling to get up.
"Fuck," cursed Klaus into the floor as he rolled onto his side. He tried to lift himself up, but his bloodless bicep gave way. He tried again, hating the cold floor on his skin. "FUCK."
It was futile. Klaus gave up before his frustration could give way to tears once more, and he curled into a fetal position on the floor. Elijah had watched his proud Niklaus silently, knowing better than to intervene too soon.
"Let me help you, brother," said Elijah softly as he knelt down behind Klaus to lift his brother off the floor, but then he noticed that something wasn't quite right. There was blood where there shouldn't be.
In an instant, Elijah's heart shattered.
Surrounded by alabaster skin, blood had dried between Niklaus' inner thighs and bottom.
"No," Elijah pleaded under his breath. "Not this."
He bit into his fist to stop himself from crying out. Elijah tried to tell himself that it wasn't what he thought it was. But the longer Elijah stared as Klaus' bottom – because shock and denial prevented him from looking away – the more Elijah felt his stomach churn in rage. Klaus, realizing what Elijah must have seen, tried desperately to cover himself.
Without warning, vomit flooded Elijah's mouth, and Elijah rushed to empty the contents of his stomach into the bedroom trashcan. He threw up until nothing but acid dripped from his lips, and even then he dry heaved for a while longer. When Elijah finally righted himself on his knees, he couldn't bring himself to turn back to look at his brother.
Klaus simply stared at Elijah with a hardened look on his face. While Elijah had vomited, Klaus had wrapped himself in dirty bed sheets and had managed to sit up in order to watch the show.
"Niklaus…" started Elijah, but no words came. His grip intensified on the handles of the trashcan until the plastic cracked down either side.
"What. Did. You. See." demanded Klaus. Dread made his chest feel hollow.
Elijah finally looked over his shoulder to see his brother's face flushed with anger and humiliation. Elijah averted his eyes, not knowing if he should confess what he saw, or lie to save Klaus the embarrassment. Was this was Vincent refused to talk about?
"I don't know what I saw," he whispered, closing his eyes and praying that his assumptions were incorrect. He prayed that no one had raped his brother. "I don't know."
"We both know you're lying," muttered Klaus.
Elijah didn't know what to say. He knew he should comfort Niklaus, or at least turn around, but pain kept him rooted in place.
"Do I disgust you that much now, brother?" asked Klaus, strength building in his voice as the rejection emboldened him. "Am I that hard to look at now?"
"No, of course not," muttered Elijah, but he still couldn't look up. He wanted to stay in a world where nothing like this could ever happen.
Klaus felt a deep sadness eating away at him. This confirmed everything he had ever feared: that the depravity would make him impossible to love, that no one would see him as a person anymore, just a thing too dehumanized to interact with, that he would disgust his family for the rest of eternity. That sadness quickly turned into hatred.
"Leave," he ordered. "I don't want you here. I don't need you here."
"Niklaus, I swear to you, I didn't mean-" stammered Elijah as he forced himself to turn around and stare into Klaus' angry eyes.
"Didn't mean to what, Elijah?" asked Klaus, "Didn't mean to fall ill at the sight of how another man used my body? No, I get it. Really, I understand. I do. Because I can't fucking stand myself either…now get. out."
Elijah exhaled sharply when Klaus said the word 'used'. It was an unwanted verification. Without breaking eye contact, without offending Niklaus further, tears began to slide down Elijah's face until he thought the pain would break him.
"I'm – I'm sorry," he whispered as he cried. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you needed me. I am so, so very sorry."
The apology hung in the air.
Klaus stared into Elijah's watering eyes and felt something harden in his soul.
"You're sorry," mumbled Klaus, trying to work his mind around this indirect confession of guilt. Niklaus closed his eyes, and Elijah could finally blink.
Niklaus had never blamed Elijah before, not for Marcel nor their father's abuse, but the apology allowed him to finally blame someone other than himself. He remembered calling out for Elijah in the tunnels while that blade tortured him. Calling out for Elijah before Marcel appeared in the darkness and raped him the first time. Calling out for Elijah as a child while Mikael beat him mercilessly and raped him as well, but Elijah never came. His older brother never heard him.
"You know what? Fuck you, Elijah, and fuck your apology," spat Klaus.
The intensity of old anger and grief made his blood pressure rise until his vision blurred. It took an extraordinary amount of energy to sustain this level of rage, and soon Klaus felt dizzy as the room seemed to spin around him.
"Niklaus, it was the injustice of what happened – the inhumanness. I'm sorry," begged Elijah, fearing he would never repair this divide.
"Don't be sorry," said Klaus breathlessly as struggled to stay upright. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm sorry that you were my brother."
"You don't mean that," said Elijah as he moved forward and reached his hand out to Niklaus, but his brother jerked backwards quickly and continued his tirade.
"You've been trying to make up for your failures as a brother for centuries. You followed be around like a dog because you felt guilty…but even then, you couldn't help when I needed you most…not when – not when they…" rambled Niklaus as he swayed, fell to his elbows, and squeezed his eyes shut against the spinning of the room.
Elijah's tears fell faster when he heard the word 'they'. What exactly had happened to break his brother like this?
"…and now you betray me yet again with your disgust…" mumbled Nikalus. He was on the verge of passing out now.
"God, Niklaus, no. That's not how I felt – I just…" said Elijah, but his words weren't working.
Klaus grimaced and began to speak again, but instead slumped to the floor and passed out from exhaustion.
Released from Klaus' angry gaze, Elijah shut his eyes and doubled over with his forehead touching the floor. He began to sob and hyperventilate, feeling helpless and angry at whoever did this to his brother. He punched the hardwood floor until his knuckles began to bleed. Eventually, his arm grew tired and his eyes ran out of tears.
Perhaps it was illogical because there was no way he could have stopped this from happening, but guilt ate away at his insides. He was the older brother. He was supposed to protect everyone, especially Niklaus, who needed it most. He would prove to Niklaus that he could take care of him, always and forever.
Slowly, Elijah let his eyes travel over Klaus' body. He looked frail and small in the mass of white sheets that surrounded him. His cheekbones were more prominent than before, giving him a gaunt and haunted expression even as he slept. Elijah stared at Klaus until he felt that he could accept the feelings of grief and shock without letting them show in his expressions.
"I'm sorry," he repeated in the silence, hoping it would reach some deep subconscious within Niklaus, hoping that Niklaus would understand.
"I'll take care of you, Brother," he said as he slowly got to his feet, and then bent down to pick his brother up off the floor. He was surprised by how feather light this man had become.
Elijah sighed, and thought of how to right his wrongs.
Niklaus had mentioned a shower before. If Elijah could do nothing else, he knew he could do that for his brother. By the gods, he would rid Niklaus of the physical evidence of trauma before he woke again.
And so, holding Niklaus close to his chest, Elijah carried his brother down the hall and into the bathroom.
"Always and forever," whispered Elijah into Niklaus' hair as he set his brother down in the bathtub.
Elijah took a deep breath and steeled his nerves. Elijah gently removed the sheets and suit jacket that covered Klaus' body, and replaced them with a towel to cover Niklaus' nether region to preserve a small amount of dignity. Then, he turned on the showerhead and began to rinse the blood from Klaus' skin. It took nearly fifteen minutes to do this task with water pressure alone. Elijah didn't want to touch Niklaus while he slept, as it felt like an invasion of privacy. But finally, Niklaus was as clean as he would get.
Elijah took a moment to text his siblings. He opened what he hoped was the group chat, full of mystical shopping lists from Freya, baby animals from Rebekah, and alcoholic beverage recipes from Kol. He had never used this function on his phone before, but suddenly it was quite useful.
'Niklaus is okay. Please meet us at our old home. We will be with you shortly. Apologize to Vincent for me.' Texted Elijah.
Then, Elijah bit into his wrist again and tilted Niklaus' head backwards so that the blood dripped down his throat. Slowly, Niklaus regained consciousness once more.
Klaus jolted violently when he felt the cold porcelain on his skin, briefly reminded of the stone floors of the tunnels and fearing that he had been recaptured.
Elijah put his hand on Klaus' shoulder until the wild look of adrenaline faded from Klaus' eyes.
"It's alright, I've just cleaned you off a bit," said Elijah with his best attempt at a soothing voice. "I hope that you don't mind."
"Why did you do this? Why are you still here?" muttered Klaus as he inspected his clean, wet skin. Then he saw the towel respectfully covering his privates. A deep red blush appeared from his cheekbones to his collarbones. If possible, the redness intensified as Niklaus remembered the horrible things he said to Elijah before he passed out.
"I don't deserve your kindness," said Klaus sheepishly.
"I would never let you push me away, especially not when you're half crazed by trauma and exhaustion," said Elijah matter-of-factly.
Now it was Klaus' turn to avoid eye contact as shame burned inside of him from how he had over reacted.
"I will not leave your side until you kill me yourself," he said. "I may not have been able to come to your aid before, but that will never happen again."
"Noble Elijah," remarked Niklaus quietly with deep gratitude.
Finally, Klaus gathered the courage to look up at Elijah. The man seemed utterly tranquil now. Klaus' eyes watered and he looked away again.
"I'm sorry. I said horrible, unforgivable things," choked Klaus as he turned away from Elijah and brought his knees to his chest. "This isn't your fault. I didn't mean what I said… I just…"
Elijah squeezed Niklaus' shoulder gently, as if to both forgive him and implore him to continue.
Klaus started to shake as he fought back heavy sobs. He thought of Marcel, and he thought of his father. As plain as day, he could feel their hands on his skin in place of Elijah's hand. Paranoia and anxiety threatened to overwhelm him, and he shook Elijah's hand from his shoulder.
"Niklaus, you're safe with me," said Elijah gently, "but I can go if you need space." He stood slowly as Niklaus shook silently.
Then, Klaus began to cry into the palm of his hand and he reached out blindly for Elijah: his rock, his steady ship in the storm. His hand found and wrapped around Elijah's wrist and he pulled Elijah forward.
"Don't go," Klaus begged.
As much as human touch made his anxiety spike, Klaus needed to feel that someone safe was there with him.
"Then I won't go," said Elijah. "Just tell me what you need."
"I just need you, Elijah, I don't know, but please," he cried as he tugged on Elijah's wrist.
Elijah was frozen momentarily, unsure of what Klaus was asking for, but watching his Niklaus suffer was killing him.
"It's okay, I'm here," Elijah whispered as he decided to climb into the tub with his nearly naked brother. Elijah shifted their bodies until Niklaus was curled on top of him, resting against his chest. Niklaus was still sobbing heavily, but he clung to Elijah and his fists made irreparable wrinkles in Elijah's dress shirt. Elijah wrapped Niklaus in his arms and gently rocked back and forth. Elijah made soothing shushing sounds until Niklaus stopped crying, and then Elijah simply continued to rub Klaus' bare and bony back until his brother stopped trembling as well.
Elijah closed his eyes and began to hum an old lullaby. He remembered holding Niklaus like this when they were young. After Mikael was particularly harsh with Niklaus, his younger brother would come home crying more often than not. Elijah would sit with Niklaus and rub his back until he fell asleep. Something warm fluttered in Elijah's heart as he ran his hands through Niklaus' hair. He felt like he could protect Niklaus for as long as he lived. More so, Elijah felt like Niklaus needed him again. It was a feeling he had been craving for centuries as Niklaus carved out his independence and his empire. A twinge of guilt told Elijah that he shouldn't be grateful for Niklaus' suffering, but he couldn't help but feel immense love as Niklaus calmed down in his arms.
Then, as Klaus started to shiver from the cold of his wet skin, Elijah reached forward and turned on the tub faucet despite the fact that he was still in his suit and tie. Slowly, warm water filled the space around their bodies, and Elijah felt the tension release from Klaus' muscles.
"Thank you," breathed Klaus as he slid further beneath the warm water, and pressed closer to Elijah in the process. "I'm sorry. I know this is…odd, but it's helping, truly, so thank you."
Elijah smiled softly and continued to rub Klaus' back beneath the water. Perhaps it was strange, to take a bath with your naked brother as an adult. Especially after finding out that your brother had been violated in the worst of ways, but Elijah couldn't bring himself to feel any impropriety.
"I don't mind," said Elijah softly. "I just want to bring you peace. Whatever you need, brother, I'm here for you."
They were silent again for a few more moments, but Elijah could tell that Klaus had something on his mind by the way his back tensed again.
"What made you sick earlier?" asked Niklaus.
"It wasn't you," answered Elijah quickly, and he felt Niklaus relax in his arms. "It was the idea that someone could…"
"Rape me?" asked Niklaus softly, finally truly at ease now that he accepted the miscommunication.
The word made Elijah's heart skip a beat. He hesitated to press further, unsure if Niklaus wanted to relive painful memories, but something in him had to know.
"Can I ask…" said Elijah, and Klaus nodded against his chest, curling into a tighter ball in the water. Elijah breathed deeply, allowing himself to explore these horrible thoughts for the first time. "Was this the first time that this person hurt you?"
Klaus shook his head, and listened as Elijah's heart rate sped up.
"Was it the same person?" asked Elijah, afraid of the answer.
Klaus wasn't sure how to respond, knowing that this was the perfect time to release centuries of secrets and free himself of an old and ugly burden. Instead, not wanting to break Elijah's heart, Klaus nodded. He felt Elijah exhale deeply.
"Was it…"
Elijah stopped. He knew who it was. Klaus knew he knew.
"Marcellus," said Klaus softly. The name cut through the silence and seemed to stop time. Elijah simply held Niklaus tighter and pressed his lips into the blond head of hair.
"I don't understand," muttered Elijah into Niklaus' hair.
Klaus could have told him that it was because they let Davina die, because Freya stole Davina's ancestral magic while Elijah held Marcel at bay. Because they killed Marcel's adopted daughter in front his very eyes. Because Elijah tried to kill Marcel on that bridge. But Klaus didn't say anything. He didn't blame Elijah for the actions of monsters, but he wanted to protect Elijah from those horrible truths for as long as possible. He knew Elijah would figure it out on his own eventually. Until then, he felt that Elijah didn't need to be burdened with even more ugly thoughts.
"It was for magic and power," said Niklaus instead. "It was a ritual to siphon the magic of my hybrid nature. Vincent could explain it properly, I'm sure."
"Ah, I need to apologize to him," muttered Elijah as he realized the lengths Vincent had gone to for their family, for Niklaus.
Then, Klaus pulled away from Elijah.
"Elijah," said Niklaus with hesitation. "I need to tell you something, but I need you to promise me that you won't do anything rash."
Elijah frowned, unsure of what else Niklaus could say that would require such a formal and ominous announcement. "I promise," he said, but Niklaus' next words made his stomach drop.
"Mikael is back from the dead," said Klaus, "the first ritual brought him back to life, and…"
Elijah's face felt numb as fear overrode his senses, "and what?"
"And he…ah…showed up here…during the second ritual," said Klaus awkwardly as he implied that their father had witnessed his rape. "He stopped the ritual and took the talisman with him when he left."
Elijah looked dumbstruck, but didn't seem to understand the exact nature of the situation.
"Father…saved you?" he asked Klaus with disbelief.
Niklaus scowled briefly, remembering his father demanding gratitude. He didn't know how to explain what happened to Elijah, and realized it was just easier to let it go.
"I suppose you could say that," confirmed Niklaus through clenched teeth. Even saying those words made him want to bash his skull into the ground.
"That's incredible," said Elijah in awe, ever hopeful that their father would have a change of heart and stop trying to kill them all, just as he had always hoped that Niklaus could change and be a good man as well.
Then, Elijah pulled Klaus into a celebratory bear hug, sloshing the water over the edge of the tub and crushing the air from Klaus' lungs. Klaus blushed as the sudden movement displaced his small towel and caused his manhood to rub against Elijah's thigh. He hadn't masturbated in four months, unable to feel comfortable touching his own body, and the unexpected friction made his erection grow against Elijah's thigh. Both men froze. Klaus was unsure of what to do, and Elijah didn't know exactly when he felt on his thigh. Then, commotion ensued full of awkward excuses and sloshing in the water as they attempted to distance their bodies. Elijah and Klaus, now on opposite side of the bathtub, were equally bright red and unable to make eye contact.
However, the embarrassment was short lived. For on the other side of New Orleans, their heartless father was about to use the siphoning talisman for a large bout of witchcraft.
Far away, the spell casting began.
Niklaus' blush faded as his skin turned ghostly pale. Something felt wrong, as if an unseen force tugging at his core and stealing the breath from his lungs. He gasped suddenly, trying to fight the burning of asphyxiation in his chest.
"Niklaus, what's wrong?" asked Elijah, worried that he had done something to upset his brother, not noticing that Niklaus' lips were turning blue.
"Elijah…" mouthed Niklaus, silently calling out for help as the world grew blurry once more. He looked down at his tingling hands, and saw they had desiccated rapidly.
Elijah watched with horror as Niklaus suddenly started seizing violently in the tub, sending tidal waves of water over the porcelain edge. His skin turned grey as he foamed at the mouth. The foam turned bloody as he bit off chunks of his tongue.
"Niklaus!" bellowed Elijah as he struggled to keep his convulsing brother above water. Elijah cried out for help as Niklaus' body desiccated rapidly in his arms. This wasn't normal exhaustion or blood loss anymore.
"Help! Anybody! Freya!" he yelled, but he had already sent his family away. Elijah grasped Niklaus' face, slippery with blood and saliva, and begged him, "Don't do this, Niklaus. Don't let them do this to you."
Not knowing what else to do, Elijah lifted Niklaus from the water and ran as fast as he could to find Freya. Whatever their father was doing with that siphoning talisman, it was draining the ancient magic that sustained Niklaus' life. It was killing him.