Hey guys! Please pay attention to the warnings and stay away if any of them trigger you;
Mentions of past abuse (sexual and physical), past self harm, talk of self harm scars, a little unintentional self harm scene, nightmares/flashbacks.
If you're still here, I hope you enjoy.
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Tied down. Lungs burning as she fought for air. Searing pain. Blood on her hands. Lips bitten raw. Scratches on skin. Red spilling over pale arms. Starving hungry. A man coming closer, climbing on top of her, hand over her mouth, starting to pull down her pants-
Wanda sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath. She kicked the covers off her bed, hating the clinging of the material against her sweat soaked skin.
Trying to sort through the images lingering in her head proved difficult, they kept slipping through her mind as she tried to grasp at them.
It was as the last part of the dream flooded her senses that she realised the dream hadn't been hers.
"Shit." Wanda muttered, pressing her fingertips to her forehead.
Not again.
She remembered flashes of red hair and her stomach turned as she realised who's dream it had been.
Natasha.
Wanda hated this part of her powers. Getting sucked into other people's emotions and nightmares, seeing what they did, feeling it if the emotions were strong enough.
It was a violation of that person. She wasn't meant to see those things. She wasn't meant to see what they kept locked up.
Exhaling, she closed her eyes, reaching out to try and feel if the woman was still asleep.
She was sure Natasha would want nothing to do with her but if she could wake up her up from the nightmare, at least she could offer something.
Wanda could feel the panic, the terror building as Natasha's head filled with terrifying image after terrifying image.
She showed no signs of waking so Wanda got out of bed, pulled on a hoodie and tiptoed out into the hall.
She hesitated outside the door for a little while, not wanting to intrude even more on something so private. But as a soft whimper echoed from inside, Wanda knocked, loud. "Natasha? It's Wanda, I'm sorry for bothering you. I just...are you okay?"
Without even meaning to, her powers expanded, reaching towards the hurting woman.
She was awake, trying to calm her breathing, shuddering and shaking. She felt a spike of pain as nails dug into her knees.
"I'm sorry," Wanda repeated, "I didn't mean to pry, it just.. happens. I just wanted to wake you." Biting her lip, she took her hand from the door and turned to leave.
"Wait-" Natasha's voice sounded and Wanda carefully moved closer to the door.
"Yes?" She asked softly.
"You can come in." Natasha murmured.
Somewhat taken aback, Wanda slowly twisted the doorknob and stuck her head around the door.
She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting Natasha's room to be but it hadn't been this; lots of personal items on the walls and on shelves, a soft purple blanket over her legs, fairy lights shining softly across the headboard.
Wanda took a couple of steps towards the bed. In the soft twinkle of the lights, she could see that the redheads cheeks were wet with tears.
"You can sit down." Natasha murmured, voice strained.
Wanda hesitated again, twisting her hands in front of her.
"I'm not going to bite." Natasha said gruffly, raising an eyebrow.
Taking a seat on the end of the bed, Wanda slowly crossed her legs and shuffled so she was facing Natasha.
They sat in silence for a moment before the girl spoke. "I really am sorry for intruding," she said quietly, "I'm still learning to control the powers." Natasha said nothing, lips pressed together, so Wanda continued. "I just...sometimes I get sucked into someone's head. If they're upset or agitated. It's even worse when my defenses are down, when I'm asleep. It's usually a proximity thing so...so I can move rooms. I think if I move across, closer to Steve, it might not happen to you."
Quiet for a moment more, Natasha finally shook her head. "You don't have to move," her voice was soft and weary, "I know it's not on purpose. I'm just sorry you had to see that." She shrugged, picking at a frayed edge of the blanket.
Up close she could see there were little black arrows around it. Smiling softly, Wanda reached to touch the soft material. It was Clint's. She stroked the corner for a moment before shrugging.
"It was worse for you to go through it. I..." Natasha's tired gaze looked up from the blanket. "I'm so sorry, Natasha. For making you relive it all. I...I won't ever be able to apologise enough." Wanda found her eyes growing watery and she sniffled softly.
"I forgive you." Natasha said quietly.
Jerking her head up, the girl frowned at Natasha. She hadn't come to ask for forgiveness, hadn't ever hoped she'd get it. And here Natasha was, giving it so easily. "Why?"
"Because we've all made mistakes, Wanda. I've done a lot of bad things in my life. You thought you were doing the right thing, I understand thinking you're doing the right thing only to find out it wasn't. You saw Ultron for who he really was and you immediately tried to rectify the situation. You helped Clint and god knows his dumbass needed it. I see you. I know you're punishing yourself and I know you don't need to. You've proven yourself to all of us." Natasha trailed off, pulling her gaze away and shrugging. "All I'm saying is that we all make mistakes and I'm not going to hold that over your head. I understand."
"You really do, don't you?" Wanda marvelled, shaking her head. She wasn't sure she was worthy of that forgiveness but she hoped that one day, she would.
Natasha offered a slightly weak smile, reaching over to touch Wanda's hand. "You're not alone here."
The young woman smiled, "I know. Thank you for being so kind." Natasha tutted, squeezing her hand before pulling her own back to her lap.
In the soft red glow of the lights, Wanda noticed the faint, barely there lines across the woman's skin. She startled, feeling the marks on her own skin itch. She looked up at Natasha, not asking but there if the information was offered.
"It was a long time ago." Natasha shrugged a shoulder, twisting her arm in the light, almost absently. "I haven't for years."
"Me either." Wanda said quietly, daring to lean forward and run a finger over one of Natasha's pyjama bottom clad knee. "But sometimes it just happens."
Natasha immediately knew the girl must have felt how her nails dug into the flesh. The action had been mindless, reflex as she tried to ground herself.
"Sometimes it just happens." The redhead repeated, nodding. This time the silence was comfortable, broken by a soft question.
"Would you help me train?" Wanda asked.
Natasha's lips pulled up into a smile. "Absolutely." She hummed. "I may not have powers but I do know a little about control. We'll start in the morning. Seven. Do not be late."
Wanda grinned and nodded, barely restraining herself from reaching over to hug the older woman. There would be time for that. "Okay then."
"Now go on, get to bed. We've got an early start." Natasha's eyes sparkled.
Wanda laughed softly, hopping up from the bed. "Sleep well, Natasha." She said softly as she headed out the door, closing it with a soft click behind her.
Falling asleep seemed easier after Wanda had climbed under the covers and closed her eyes. A weight had lifted off her shoulders and she was excited for the mornings training.
...
If there was a soft knocking on Natasha's door a couple of times a week, it wasn't brought up the following morning.
But Natasha knew she wasn't alone in her nightmares and pain and memories and knowing that should a dream escalate, there was always a knock and a soft voice to rouse her.
And that was enough.