Chapter Fifteen: Tryst
Noun: A private romantic rendezvous between lovers
Weeks passed as Niklaus threw himself wholeheartedly into celibacy and fatherhood. He helped make Hope food, put Hope to bed, do Hope's laundry, clean messes that Hope made – he even once chastised Hope for climbing dangerously high up the terraced walls of the villa. Hayley had to reassure him for days afterwards that Hope wouldn't hold the gentle reprimand against him for life. If anything, she told him that it sounded more like a cowards request than a deliberate instruction.
Elijah watched this progression of familial responsibility from the sidelines. He was torn between genuine happiness for his brother, and pain as he lost the man he loved most in this world. Watching their happy, platonic family unit on a daily basis, Elijah bit back jealousy.
This particular day, it was early morning as Elijah read a book of poems in the breakfast nook while Hayley cooked pancakes. Niklaus was upstairs as he tried to wake their heavy sleeper of a daughter. The smell of pancakes made Elijah think of the waffles he shared with Niklaus at the peak of their relationship. His heart twinged, less than before, but the pain wouldn't leave.
He tried to forget himself in the souls of others as he turned the page to start a new poem.
'Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing…'
Elijah sighed. How could the words of strangers hurt so much? Who was this poet to cause him pain? Elijah shut the book with a snap.
"What did that book do to you?" Hayley asked playfully as she set the table.
"You would be surprised," muttered Elijah.
Hayley sat across from Elijah and set down a steaming stack of fresh pancakes. She watched his pained expression, and wished she could make him smile again.
"So…you and Klaus seem distant," said Hayley softly.
Elijah frowned. Hayley had always been spot on with her observations.
"You could say that," said Elijah as he helped himself to a few golden pancakes.
"You can still talk to me," said Hayley as she poured syrup, "Just because we're not, you know…it doesn't mean you have to avoid me too."
Elijah glanced up and saw something familiar in her gaze. Was it pain? It seemed to mirror what Elijah had been feeling.
"Do you want to go out to the market today?" asked Elijah suddenly, "I need a few ingredients things for dinner tonight."
Hayley looked down and tried not to smile.
They both needed time outside of this estate.
They both needed kinship in their loneliness.
"Yeah, I think Hope would like a few new books for bedtime if we can stop by a bookstore," said Hayley, trying to make her decision seem as logical as possible, trying not to get her hopes up.
That afternoon, in the lively streets of New Orleans, Elijah and Hayley shared their first kiss in years. It was different, a little bit sadder, maybe a bit more mature. Hayley stared up at him with unbelievably big eyes dancing in the sunlight. Elijah held her close, trying to forget another, and kissed her again and again until new memories took the place of painful ones.
Their relationship was covert. Hayley didn't want to confuse Hope now that her real father was back in the picture. Neither of them wanted to put Niklaus on edge with the threat of a new father figure to take his place. They knew how Niklaus could be. Over all, it was better this way. It had nothing to do with the fact that Elijah desperately feared Niklaus finding out, nor did it have anything to do with the fact that Hayley could feel that their reconnection had a ticking time limit. No, they told themselves, it was simply boundaries and respect.
And so they continued to meet covertly for weeks, sharing few words, trying to ignore the cracks in their foundations. They agreed not to interact romantically within the confines of the estate, and so they went on frequent errands together to find some time alone. If Niklaus thought it was odd, he didn't mention it, and just seemed grateful to have time alone with Hope.
This time, Elijah and Hayley ventured out into New Orleans to replace the broken coffee maker that Freya had accidentally destroyed through experimental, caffeinated magic. It was an admirable effort, but one that left everyone with a painful withdrawal headaches. Elijah and Hayley caved the next day and agreed so graciously to find a replacement. After they settled on a French press, they made their way to a bed and breakfast downtown.
Elijah paid the owner generously to keep a room on retainer for their spontaneous visits and trysts.
Hayley kicked her high-heeled boots off as they entered the quaint little room and set the new French press down by the door.
"You looked good in those," said Elijah as he locked the door behind them.
"Don't I still look good?" asked Hayley with a coy smile as she fell backwards into bed.
Elijah grabbed her foot in one hand and extended her leg up against his chest. He rubbed his cheekbone against her ankle and kissed her inner calf.
"Always, Hayley," he muttered as he watched her shimmy out of her shirt.
Elijah was quick to unclip her bra with expert precision and Hayley thrust her hips up to slide off her too-tight jeans. Elijah took this chance to kiss her hipbones and suck at the soft skin above her thong. He loved the gentle foreplay and intimate moments. He tried not to crave these moments with anyone else. Elijah adored being with Hayley.
He unbuckled his belt with one hand and pulled Hayley's thong aside with the other hand. He slipped one finger into Hayley's slippery heat, and kissed her deeply. She moaned and writhed, pushing her hips down to rub her clit against Elijah's thumb.
"God, I want you," breathed Hayley into Elijah's mouth.
Elijah complied, gently removing his finger and replacing the emptiness with something a bit more substantial.
"Yes," moaned Hayley as she squirmed under him. Her eyes were half-lidded and blown out with lust as she waited impatiently for him to continue.
Elijah took in her beauty for only a few moments, his cock slipping between the folds of her pussy as he waited. He took her slender hand from the bed and kissed between her fingers as he slowly pushed inside. It was warm, hot, and tight – everything he needed to lose himself in Hayley.
His thrusts were slow and grinding as he made sure his pelvic bone rubbed against her clit each time. Elijah bent forward and wrapped his arms around her as he breathed and closed his eyes in her hair.
"I love you," said Hayley as he felt her walls start to pulsate around his girth, "fuck, I love you," she said as she came.
Elijah kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her neck, her collarbone and rode out her orgasm until she was spent. Then, he withdrew without coming, and fell into bed next to Hayley. They were quiet while they cuddled with Hayley nestled in the crook of his arm. She listened to his slow heartbeat for a few minutes as she came down off her high.
"You didn't say it back," muttered Hayley before she turned away and started to get dressed.
"I'm sorry," said Elijah, "you know I love you, but…"
"Don't, it's fine," said Hayley sharply as she laced up her boots.
"Hayley," started Elijah, wanting to explain himself, not sure what there was to explain that would make Hayley feel any better.
"I know sex and love aren't the same thing," she said with her back still turned, "I'm not a kid, you know?"
She often referenced their age difference as a reason for Elijah's patronizing and condescending comments.
"I know you're not," said Elijah as he sighed, always careful to tiptoe around Hayley's raging fire.
"Everyone calls you the Noble Elijah," said Hayley softly, "I just thought you wouldn't do this if you didn't feel…something."
The all too understandable accusation broke Elijah's heart. It was never his intention to hurt Hayley's feelings. He had never meant for her to feel used, but there was no way to rectify the crumbling walls around them. The foundation had been cracked from the beginning.
"Say something?" asked Hayley as she searched for clothes and words to hide her embarrassment.
Elijah couldn't find words that she would have wanted.
"I still love someone else," said Elijah hoarsely as he tried to hold back the pain that was resurfacing, "I know it doesn't help…I know it doesn't make it right…but I thought I could move on with you and I'm sorry that I can't, Hayley."
Hayley put her head in her hands, physically holding back tears with the pressure of her palms. Elijah was wrong. Knowing that sort of helped. At least it hadn't been a game.
"I really tried, Hayley, I promise you," he said as he stretched his hand out to her, but she was just out of reach.
Hayley took a few deep breaths. Elijah could almost see the gears turning in her mind as she thought about the dynamics of their odd little household. Something clicked behind her eyes, and Elijah's stomach dropped.
"Klaus…" muttered Hayley, and Elijah nearly jumped out of his skin.
"What are you – " started Elijah with painfully wide eyes. Niklaus would hate him if Hayley found out, if Hope found out. Elijah would be murdered in his sleep.
Hayley sighed and finally turned around to face Elijah on the bed. They watched each other through filters of pain and apprehension.
"It's okay," said Hayley heavily.
"I don't know what you mean," started Elijah, but Hayley cut him off with a slow wave of her hand.
"Now that I think about it…I think I've always known…it's the way you care for him, the way you protect him," said Hayley, pushing forward, searching for clarity and closure.
Elijah couldn't respond. Hayley took that as a confirmation of her revelations.
Maybe it hurt a little less than some stranger in the night.
"Does Klaus know?" asked Hayley.
And then Elijah felt his eyes burn. The dam was breaking. Elijah covered his face to hide his humiliation. Hayley watched from afar. She couldn't quite bring herself to be a shoulder for him to cry on, and so she just waited for the moment to pass.
"He knows," said Elijah softly after he pushed those emotions back down into the depths of his being, "He never wanted you or his daughter to find out, and so he ended things."
Hayley frowned and thought about that for a while. Niklaus' good intentions as a father still continued to surprise her everyday. Finally, she found her footing in a philosophy she had never considered before.
"Hope deserves a father who's happy," she said slowly, "and you deserve to be happy, Elijah."
"Hope wouldn't understand," said Elijah quickly, his heart aching as he tried to believe her, "this simply isn't done."
Hayley shrugged. Perhaps murder, maiming, and drinking blood from the necks of unsuspecting strangers had changed her worldview. In the darkness of their daily lives, a longing love between two brothers didn't seem quite so bad.
Hayley sighed and clicked her tongue. She wasn't usually the type to send the love of her life off into the arms of another.
"Y'all are old though. Didn't everyone marry their siblings and cousins back then?" asked Hayley.
"No, not in our society," said Elijah stiffly.
"Well, whatever…fuck those stupid Vikings, you know?" she said, trying to be brave while her heart shattered.
In the end, Hayley loved Elijah. All she really wanted was to see him smile – even if those smiles came from someone else.
"You know what…I'll talk to Klaus," she said as she picked up the French press and opened the door.
Elijah blinked slowly as he watched her leave.
How could he ever thank her?
Every day that passed, the Mikaelson family fell further into Hayley's debt.
Elijah followed slowly, keeping his distance to let her mourn what she had lost in private. He thought of the poem he had read that fateful day that his tryst with Hayley had begun. The words seemed to take shape in a new way entirely in the light of recent events, as his love with Hayley passed him by.
Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
Niklaus had just put Hope down for a nap after a long day of coloring books and leftover pancakes. He retreated to his room for a break from the noise and commotion still echoing in his ears. Had children always caused this much commotion? He felt somewhat content. After weeks of trying to forget his heartbreak and self-hatred, Niklaus had stumbled upon a balanced life of fatherhood and…only fatherhood. He told himself he didn't need anything else, and eventually, he started to believe that to be true.
"Klaus?" called Hayley's soft voice from the other side of the door.
"Come in," called Niklaus.
Hayley entered and Niklaus' heart skipped a beat. Her make up was smudged and it looked like she had been crying. Was Hope okay? Was Elijah okay? Niklaus opened his mouth to ask a million questions, but Hayley stopped him first.
"Everyone's fine," she said curtly.
She wouldn't look at him.
They weren't the types of people that talked about their feelings, especially not with one another.
Hayley folded her arms and tried to be strong. In the end, she told herself that drama between the two brothers would only cause pain for her daughter.
"I assume you knew about Elijah and me?" she asked stiffly.
Niklaus nodded. Of course he knew. They smelled like sex and sweat every time they returned from their 'errands'. It wasn't hard to work out. Niklaus' chest tightened. He just wanted Elijah to be happy, even if he wasn't the one to make Elijah happy. He told himself he had no right to interfere, even if he had contemplated murdering them both the very first time he realized.
"Well it's over now, so…stop being a dick," said Hayley. Her lip trembled before she bit it back in line.
Niklaus' brows furrowed.
"What are you saying?" he asked. Niklaus thought that he had been quite pleasant towards the new couple despite his initial homicidal rage.
Hayley nearly groaned. She didn't have the emotional wherewithal for two men to play dumb with her today.
"Look, Klaus…Elijah makes you a better person when he's around," said Hayley, slowly going into lecturing mother mode, "Hope needs at the veryleast a somewhat decent person for a father, and so if you're going to be in her life, make up with Elijah."
Niklaus grimaced. She wasn't wrong. Elijah kept him from being truly terrible most of the time.
"We're fine," he lied.
Hayley actually groaned this time. She sucked her teeth in annoyance and finally stared straight into Niklaus' soulless blue eyes.
"Look, I know y'all just want to fuck each other, so just fucking do it and stop being a drama queen," said Hayley a little too loudly, "no one cares that you're related. We're vampires and hybrids for god's sake – I think there's more to worry about moralistically than this cultural bullshit. I mean, it's not like you two can have kids anyways."
Hayley finished in a huff - seemingly trying to convince herself more than Niklaus of this rather progressive stance.
Niklaus was stunned. His eyebrows were nearing his hairline and his eyes might have popped out of his skull. Of all the lectures he expected from Hayley, this was not one on his roster. Her callous and obscene take on events was enough to make him blush as he shook his head in denial.
"How do you – " he stammered.
"Because I'm not an idiot," snapped Hayley, trying to stay on track, talk a little quieter, be a good person, be a good mother.
"Yes, but – "
"I told Elijah the same thing…you deserve to be happy, and Hope deserves a happy father," she cut him off again, "I know you're trying, but you're obviously really fucking depressed."
"I'm not depressed - " started Niklaus with obvious distaste for such a clinical word.
"Hope asks why you frown when you think she's not looking," said Hayley before Niklaus could get any more defensive.
Silence swept through the room as Hayley averted her watering eyes. When had she become a selfless person? Why did it hurt so badly?
Niklaus frowned as he watched Hayley's jaw muscles twitch under her skin. Hadn't this been all that he wanted? Affirmation that he could love whomever he wanted without fear of shame and loss? He watched Hayley's shoulders slump. He could smell the dried salt on her cheeks.
Somehow, getting what he wanted didn't feel as good as he had hoped.
"You deserve happiness as well, Hayley," muttered Niklaus. He rarely felt guilt, but it was eating away at him full force.
Hayley exhaled sharply and rolled her eyes. She was so much like their beautiful, stubborn Hope. Niklaus just wanted Hayley to smile again.
"Whatever," she said, "just go find him or something."
Niklaus nodded dumbly, and then she was gone as quickly as she'd come. Niklaus stood slowly and passed his reflection as he left. Eyeing the man in his periphery, he looked sane and normal and calm, but nothing that Niklaus could rightfully identify as happy. With an outsider's blessing - with the mother of his child urging him to go forth - it seemed that happiness was finally on the horizon.
(A/N: I always wonder who reads this story lol)