I'm watching my partner as I often do. I've been watching him for a long time. I can't remember anymore when I first started to do that.
He stands almost too close to me right now, both of us bellied up against the far end of the bar, cutting the trail dust.
A lovely brunette had her eyes on him as soon as we entered the half-empty saloon. The sway of her hips added a sensual swing to the hem of her skirts as she sashayed across the room. She's standing beside him now, conjuring her professional magic on him.
We've been on the trail way too long and of course he's more than open to her advances. She leans into him, coos something into his ear, something that makes him smile. That marvelous smile, that lights up not only his eyes, but the entire room – warm and infectious.
I envy her for the smile she receives, which sends searing heat through my veins despite the fact I'm not the addressee. I'm not part of the game they are playing, just an observer.
His body is starting to respond to her invitation. I see it in his eyes, in his stance – the starting flame of desire. I can't help watching them, watching him. I know it's only a matter of time until they'll ascend to her room, stilling his hunger.
I'm famished, too. There's something I feel, when he's close to me, touches me oh so casually. It sends lightnings bolts throughout my entire body. His attitude turns me on like nothing else. But I can't let him know. I can't risk the damage it may cause to our partnership, to us. It's nothing we would be able to talk about.
Talking would mean taking the chance of offending him, or making him laugh at me - I'm not sure what would be worse. I can't take the risk. There's just no way to go on without him. That's not how we were meant to be. Separated. Apart. Solo. Every time we split-up we are taught that lesson again. We're a team. Partners. Longtime friends.
My partner and the girl come to an agreement, down their drinks and make off to the staircase, ascending. On the landing he turns around again, adjusts his hat and winks at me. I answer him with a broad smile. Heavens, he looks perfect. I just wish ... I interrupt the train of thoughts leading to nowhere and return to just watching him. Watching until there's nothing to see anymore. He won't mind it. He's used to feeling my eyes on him.
When they've gone upstairs, I return my attention to the girl beside me. Only a short time later we follow their lead. I'm taking everything the girl has to offer to allay my own hunger, knowing she's got nothing to still my most secret need.