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WORD COUNT: 500
Help Norm's Never Been with a Woman
His head twitched to the side, watching as she departed and then the nerves set in. He ran over to his link-up and jumped in. Truth be told, he had no idea what he was doing, or should be doing. At least he knew who he was doing. He tugged the top down, nearly smashing some fingers in the process, wiggling to get his jitters out and then allowing his mind to go blank. Which for some odd reason was harder this time. He glanced down at the pitched tent twitching between his legs and told himself, "no big deal. I can do this. Come on…fall asleep already." He closed his eyes and breathed like his life depended on it.
He woke up in a copse of trees with the sun in his eyes and the sounds of busy feet running back and forth. A group of children had gathered around and were picking at his clothing and playing with his tail. "Get off!" He stumbled up, flicking the giggling children off his tail. "What am I going to do?" He ran out of the forest and straight to the Tree of Souls.
"Jake!" he called as he ran into a female holding a baby who shoved him out of the way. "Jake! It's an emergency!" He tripped over a group of kids playing.
Jake in all his blue wonder came running over to him. "What is it? Is it Quaritch?"
"No it's Trudy."
"What happened to Trudy?"
Panting and out of breath and dear god was his avatar dick twitching too? He couldn't bring himself to look. Is it bigger? Longer? Not now…
"Norm!?" Jake shook him, eyes flushed with worry, gripping his friend's shoulders. "TrudywantstohavesextonightandImavirgin!" He covered his mouth in shock and was so glad his skin was blue to hide the red he would have in his cheeks if he were human right now.
"What?" Jake asked him.
All the commotion had gotten Tsutey's attention. He joined them, glancing back and forth from Norm to Jake. "Trudy?" Tsu'tey inquired.
"Norm that's not an emergency."
"It is if I've never…you know…" he motioned with his hand.
"Oh," Jake mouthed and rubbed his chin.
"What do I do?"
Tsu'tey burst out in laughter. "He wants to hunt with us and he doesn't know how to handle his weapon?"
"Quiet!" He grabbed them both by the shoulders and shoved them into the foliage. "What do I do?"
"Norm," Jake said trying to stifle his laughter, "you do know how babies are made right?"
Tsu'tey and Jake immediately lost it nearly buckling over on themselves.
"Come on Jake please? This might be my last night and…you know. I want to her to like it."
"My friend." Tsu'tey pat Norm's shoulder. "You come with me. Ninat will teach you."
"Ninat?" Jake asked confused. "I thought she was a warrior."
"We don't call her the best hunter for nothing." Tsu'tey licked his fangs as he spoke. "Come, you will spend time with Ninat."
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GUEST: I think he might need lessons first.
LEMONLUSH: Thank you ;)...yep can't imagine him otherwise. He's such a dork
FLUFFBALL: Thank you, thank you very much!