Day 3:
I've always been aware that wolves roam these woods. They are ravenous and merciless. They would howl and rain their screams upon the land. They were a band of hooligans, raping and murdering whatever victims would either stand in their way or interest their tastes.
I was unfortunate to be able to witness it all for myself. Just past last midnight, I couldn't stay asleep, for they hollered their war cries just before blocking my blurred sights. I was barely awake. Two days' worth of bitter time to rest had an effect on me. I found it surprising that I even heard them. There was no way for me out. I still inhabited that hole that I mentioned earlier, and the only way out was blocked. I would never forget the horrifying sight of what looked like four wolves showing off their knives for teeth; their ragged manes for fur; their hot drool oozing out of their sickening jaws. They practically had claws for paws, which was a detail I didn't notice until it felt too late.
They each bucked, barked, and growled till one of them made a lunge towards my face. It was death's face incarnate plastered on them, and Hel telling them to go after me. There was so little I could do, and not much energy for me to do it. Inevitably, I couldn't let go myself to her hounds just yet. I had to do what had be done.
It was all too quick. I raised my hands in efforts to protect myself. I didn't even look. But when I did, all I could come across was a pack of dogs suspended from motion. They all had stopped. They were frozen alive, and they must be dead. For all that was done, and without intention, I've must have murdered them all.
At the time, I wasn't appalled by it. I was too pre-occupied with collecting myself together, only after having to wallow in adrenaline rushed fear. But now, as a lie as calm and collected as I could, it was difficult to avoid some sense of remorse for what I had done. It truly was a pity to have their lives taken away, and without meaning to have done so. I mean, a mere scare should've been enough for them to go away. That would've let them off the hook, no? At least they gave me a chance before I would realize my possible fate.
Might I even ask?
I'm I a monster for what I've done?
That was only the start of my day, all before the sun could catch up. This day never made me feel so much hate and pity than any other day. I've lost my other glove, and now two demons haunt me. It felt as if everything I would touch would freeze. The trees. The leaves, grass, ponds, lakes, streams, even the poor living creatures around me.
Please understand my woes if you're reading. Everything I touched, froze immediately. And with despairing misfortune, I couldn't stop it. I wish I could be exaggerating this, but when I tried crafting a fishing pole, all the wood froze. I tried to catch the fish nearby with my hands, but the water would freeze, and my hands would get stuck. And if I did manage to catch something, the poor creature would freeze before I'd get the chance to eat it. And yes, I wouldn't be able to make a fire for roasting, but not even for raw could I treat myself with anything.
All this could probably explain why I continue writing my life away on an ice booklet other than anything. It was the only thing I could touch that couldn't be any more frozen than I made it. I even managed to find a journal-like book with the accompanying feather pen and tried using it out of curiosity. But no luck, as expected.
I've never gotten myself so low as to feel my own insides cannibalizing itself. The screams were getting more defined.
'You've brought yourself here!'
'No one should have deserved you!'
'Arendelle is better off!'
'All would be better off if…'
Not today, the voice I shouldn't succumb to.
'succumb!'
o
'succumb!'
o
o
'succumb'
o
o
o
'succumb…'
o
o
o
o
'…'
o
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o
o
I miss Anna. Amidst my torment, the memories we had and the ones I wished we had would never stop. Life wouldn't be worth a damn if all the fun were to fade. I would still be warmed by the times when we would sneak downstairs and skate along the ballroom floors. I would make the air above glisten with delicate little flakes floating down, while Anna would watch as if it was her first-time seeing snow. I would make hills so we could both slides down on. Snowball fights were fun. I'd let her win. Don't tell her that, my dirty secret. And above all, we would make a snowman. I would name it Olaf and we would act as if he were alive or something. We had done so much with him. We skated him in circles. Throw snowballs at him. We even gave him a voice and all as we would spew jokes, making each other crack up. I missed all those times. All the times where I could have done anything with my hands uncovered and bring life and joy without care or worry. I wish it all could've lasted. But no, ever since I hurt her, life was never as rosy as what I've prayed for afterword. Most of my life was in isolation, but it felt so much more different over there, though. I was in the castle. My parents would check up on me every other day to see if I was fine. I was fed. I had my gloves, which allowed me to function. I could listen to Anna's voice and hear all that went on. All that I missed out on. All that could have been was just out the door. We missed out on everything we had. I missed out on all the quality time I could have with my parents, for they weren't around long enough for me to know them like Anna. I never gotten the chance to love them like she did. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I truly miss my dear sister mostly. I even miss Olaf.
I can't forget the time where almost every day, she'd knock on my door to ask if I'd want to build a snowman. I could never say any anything back at the time. I can never stop regretting it. Dear gods, what I would give up just to build a snowman with her. Even if it only be my last.
Building a snowman was just not the same without her. With the life sucking time I have, I've tried. I would roll him up and give it the twigs suited for him, though covered in ice. But trying to mutter the words, 'Hi, I'm Olaf, and I love warm hugs!' never felt the same. It felt empty. I was lonely.
I didn't bother sticking around for any longer and left Olaf be. Dead as any other pile of snow and alone. I went aimlessly anywhere really, there was nothing I could really do. I couldn't eat. My cloths turned to torn peasant rags. Asking for help would just be another form of murder. And I hardly had any plans that would guarantee me seeing the night sky again. I actually couldn't believe I've made it so far without succumbing. Well, it was perhaps I stumbled upon a cute bundle of joy. It was a fluffy little stray pup. I called her Ann. Yeah, I know.
She seemed lost a bit ago and didn't stop following me, so I guess she now joins me as we continue our demises together. I wish I can pet her. But I know that wouldn't be a good idea. I did have a few close calls though, but no way I would let her close to me. She's now the only thing keeping my sanity together.
I'm not quite sure where I am right now. I'm at least not lost enough to where I could see the north mountain from where I'm sitting. But in the same time, I feel as if I may have lost my orientation a bit. I can't read stars well and I can't see Arendelle, there was just an endless sea of snow. No water, no grass, nothing warm hinting where Arendelle is, but no matters, I guess. They must be alright without me. And now, I'll be fine without them. At least for the meantime. Who knows how long until I give out?
I just wished Ann a good night. She's sound asleep. I might just make a little ice tent for myself so she doesn't decide to get too close. I think I'll stop for the night. I need my rest. Good night.