Chapter Thirty Two:
We pile out of the truck for small break to empty our bladders. This is a chance to stretch our legs. I could no longer see the city, which was a good sign, further away from turmoil. Outside was arid and dry, the humity was worsing. I took a small jog accompanied by Jacob, straying not far and not to long. Just to get some daily exercise.
But the heat was raising the more the sun rose. Taking a seat on the firm sand, I kick off my sneakers and tended to blisters and other issues my feet been giving me. My hands had lost all moisture in then, giving way to chipping and cracked speckles of damage skin. They had been reddish and painful just like the open pus filed blister and painful calluses.
Grooming hasn't been more appreciated now then ever. Out in the wild, your hair and nails get unruly and you feel so itchy and icky. Sweat causes pimple's and ingrown follicles. Your bones ache, joints tighten. Shuck even Jacob's wounds haven't healed up completely. His handsome features had been taken down like a wall, his arm bruised black and blue. The busted lip and black eyes had gone but there is still the sign of conflict. I feign to imagine what it must like to be a female in these conditions. The personal upkeep is enormous on a day to day basis.
It has to way worse all the way out here, I'm just glad I'm a guy. I probably stabbed everything that so happen to look at me, if I was Jane or Curie.
A while later, dragging through the sand was a broken sign that happened to be carried by Nyx and Soc.
"You should see this?" Nyx said dropping it before me.
"What even is this?"
"Read…" Soc replies.
- World In catastrophe killzone experiment department. -
"Why bring me this?" I ask.
"You don't see it? Look closely, just near the bottom."
I took a hard long stare, then sprawled out in faint letters was something that made my stomach drop, before reading it a loud. "You're the real leader, Thomas."
"That's your friends name, correct?" Soc asked.
"Yes but, where did you even find it? Why is it even out here?" So many questions so little answers.
"I scouted it on my walk." Nyx said sitting down, tired from dragging it. "If it's out here, that means he's alive…"
"True, but what about Group B?" Soc said stretching his arms.
"I have no doubt out paths will cross, either out here or in the mountains. Question is, either they get the slip on us-"
"Or we get the slip on them." Soc said with a wide smile.
"What do we know so far about Group B?"
"Well…" Jacob said joining in the conversation."You're from group A. Said group is primarily made of boys and one girl. The Grove/ Drone/ Group C, was a bit of both. So thus I conclude, Group B, most be comprised of girl's and one male." He said with a yawn.
"That's actually the smartest thing you said.." Laughs Soc.
"For once your flexing a different muscle." Nyx join in the laugher.
"Shudup…" Jacob said embrassed as he punches Nyx in the shoulder.
Everyone gather for a light breakfast before taking needed refuge in the truck. Jane for once took the reins as Nyx sat up front with her.
She took her time getting us moving as Nyx helped her not to panic. I didn't mind the rather slow ride this morning, to much excitement of late. Here I was thinking on the couch about our next move. I didn't want us being blindsided by the other group. Just a little while to reach the Cure, we have been cutting it close. I stopped counting, but it hasn't been two weeks that's for sure. Cover as much distance as possible by truck. Once walking had to resume it would be no more taking it easy.
Despite although things may become difficult, fending off a group with larger numbers isn't going to work in our favor. Could there be room to hash out our problems, resolving them peaceably. Or would dire action be needed, if it wasn't for Tesla obvious betrayal, we stood a greater chance. I fear that Curie might have to stain her hands in blood and war. I can't afford her to go into battle, she reminds me so much of Chuck, that if anything happened to her. I'd lose my mind. I failed Chuck, I can't fail her. Not after all she's done to get us here. No more! I refuse to go quiet, I'll do what I must to protect those I care most about.
Give or take five miles later the highway was closing in, the sun at high noon. This was the last bit of refuge before the mountains. Jane was doing fine, just taking her time, which was fine. There are worse things to worry about then her driving. For instance the moral ambiguity I've been struggling inside with. I've killed people, and still plan on doing so, but it is a painful quandary.
If not them, then us. The true enemy hasn't been dealt with yet, and while we run through the wasteland, their plans increase more and more, to make hundred young men and women suffer for a plague that they didn't cause. As long as WICKED stands, bloodshed isn't unavoidable. They've made sure of that, and thus this will be their demise.
The further she drove out chances got wider to succeed. But I knew what was waiting in the dark, a variable. It's too predictable now. Yet I can't hide my fear, it's etch over my face, as I have to nod to the question am I alright? Honestly I'm not, haven't been since the factory, but I'm not allowed the chance to let fear rule me. It's too long in the game for that now, I'll mourn and suffer later. Living had to be the priority at this point, the long stretch just ahead and yet no true sign of Thomas or the others.
WICKED has to up the protection of their candidates, although it's from outside forces dancing to a different beat. The Right Arm has been a thorn in the side of WICKED for sometime. Posted out in the mountains it is the obvious notion that they've retrieve the gang, or WICKED has. Group B is a threat and yet they might not have any sense of team, the number game still favor them.
Bitting down on my lips, blood crimson and salty drips down my throat. I did it to make sure this was real. Self inflection keep my mind tethered to the ground inside the boundless sea of thought. I need to stop being so reclusive inside my mind. I must be of action and directive, unwavering hence forth.
Taking a snack for energy, I nibble on the crackers or the crumbs that remains. Taking my spear out, I take some of the tools we snagged and sharpen the edge. Over and over, sharpening the tip so's to be prime enough to cut purposely, no chances.
Once I had my fill of keeping active, I relax by taking a short nap, I would drive this evening it would be easier to avoid how I'm feeling deep down in my gut. I've become recluse and apathetic from this Trial. I feel sick emotionally, I'm sick of worrying about running out of water and food. I'm a nervous wreck waiting to happen, I fear that bad news is around the corner.
I've taken to long in finding Thomas. Should of I have abandon and betray everyone here, to pursue my group? I've never been so unasure of anything the long the ride gets.
Everyone at one point or another talks or think a big game, that is a far cry from the truth. Boy do I know that, yet what should I do? I could run off and let them handle the Trial, death doesn't seem so bad. Once I began to ponder it, it's just a slip up here, or self harm there. What ever is fastest, I'm all for it. My eyes strain in and out before I let my self sleep. If I could just stab myself in the heart when the others aren't looking, my spear would be the ticket to release. Yet something is holding me against the motion. A face in the dark… I would never see the others again, never tell Teresa how much I love her. I could never see Newt's smile or Minho bluntness. Worse I will have let Thomas die.
I wept heavily, before being held by the others. Was this a breakdown I've been heading for? Right now the warmth of my friends are rejuvenating. There is a inkling of strength burning bright embers catching flame in my heart. Stupid self doubt, I'm better than this, they know it, I know it. WICKED is eating this up, brain patterns it's what matters most. This suffering is getting them results, well screw them, I'm not letting them get the better of me.
One thing Janson said was true, don't trust what your hear or see. Now I know I can't trust what I feel. This is one giant ploy which I feel for hook, line and sucker.
"Dry your eyes, and rest up." Jacob said patting my back.
"You're right, I'm just over thinking things lately."
"Life has no certainty expect that we each will one day die. No need worrying about it, if it happens so be it. Momento Mori." Soc spoke reassuringly, it was a bitter truth. But the truth nonetheless.
"Remember you will die…" I said bitterly. "It's futile to resist what must be, the inevitability of death is factual. But it doesn't mean I'm giving up just because I have to die one day."
"So you understand then?" Soc questions.
"Of course, it just hurts to worry. I just need a nap to recharge myself." I stretch with a yawn and pass out on the couch.
"It's alright to plan ahead, just never let oversight blind you to the now." Soc said as my eyes close.
"Prehaps I've been to critical of myself. I need to let go of the past if we have a shot at the future." I said falling into a welcome slumber.
A/N: Tad bit depressing chapter, but all an all character development. See you all next chapter.