Holding on to Forever

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas

Thank you for your ongoing support and reviews, I am trying to remember to reply to them but do need to catch up.

As always I'm happy to have feedback on on improvements I can make, especially any technical/medical differences between UK and USA.

I am writing this as I can and it is difficult to write, and therapeutic, due to personal experience. Please be patient with me and I will update when I can. This has been delayed even more by my Dad being ill.

. . .

The team hadn't expected to be back and up in the air so soon, in fact at the briefing yesterday there had been nothing to signify the need for their urgent help. However the rapid train of events in Dublin, Ohio made it clear that every second counted, and the team had been called in. The spree killer had already hit twice in 24 hours and concerns was building as everyone tried to predict his next move.

The team had headed straight to the jet. Hotch had held the briefing shortly after take off. Now the team had their heads down, processing the information they had been given.

Derek was grateful for the distraction, even if he had preferred it not to have involved the deaths of innocent people. The week in the office had dragged, though he had kept his head down to avoid others. It meant for once he had caught up and even got all his consultations finished early for once.

The crime scene photos that had already been forwarded to them were harrowing, but nothing he unfortunately hadn't seen before. The killer appeared to be swift and brutal. His targets were indiscriminate. There seemed no reason for the choosing, making it near impossible to guess where he would strike next. The tenuous link between the first two kills were just that they were very public and busy, meaning maximum impact in minimum time.

The killer, a lone gunman, picked a sports bar on a Friday night, 6pm, full of workers celebrating the end of another working week before they headed home or out for more fun. Ten dead, and many more injured before he left. Meer minutes he was in, not long enough for security to process what was happening. CCTV showed him literally open the door and let blast with a semi-automatic. A hood and snapback cap obscured his face. Twenty hours later and he repeated his actions in a supermarket on the edge of town, taking out two security guards with his first blast then another 12 customers dead and multiple injured before he turned and walked away.

Derek flicked between the two videos. The gunman was confident, he knew what he was doing yet his actions were erratic and appeared unplanned. The killer was obviously use to guns and knew how to handle it to cause maximum impact.

"Are we thinking ex-miliatery? PTSD? Dishonourable discharge?" Derek voiced.

Rossi raised his head, "He sure knows how to handle a gun, it's possible. Something triggered his fight or flight?"

Tapping the screen Hotch spoke as soon as Garcia imaged appeared, leaving no opportunity for her normal cheery retorts. "Garcia can you search for any ex-military who are receiving treatment or counselling for PTSD in the area. Centres are not going to want to share their information so you may need to look for yourself!"

"Understood, Sir."

"Garcia, please ask first. If we are thinking it then the media should have given them enough insight to have them wondering if it's one of their clients too. They may be willing to share info to help us help whoever this is."

"Aye, Aye Captain, I will be my most pleasant and charming self, while I dig deeply through their unmentionables," Garcia replied with a wink.

Derek couldn't help but smile, she had that effect on him. He'd meant it all those years back when he'd called her his solace, she honestly was. He knew she had meant it the other night when she'd say she would be there whatever, whenever and he appreciated that.

"The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs estimates that PTSD affects almost 31% of Vietnam veterans. As many as 10% of Gulf War or Desert Storm veterans and 11% of veterans of the war in Afghanistan," Reid interjected, "Looking at the CCTV images I think we can rule out Vietnam veterans due to age."

"Careful Kid," Rossi smiled as he spoke, "Don't be too quick to rule out anyone yet. I own a hoody and a cap."

"Really?" Reid's face screwed up as it was obvious he was trying to picture it.

"It hangin on your wall with Cubs signatures over it, don't count," Derek teased.

Rossi's eyes narrowed, "So I own two then!"

JJ looked up from her screen, "I think it not just the clothes that suggest we're looking at a younger man, the way he walks, his agility and speed once he leaves the building. Maybe this guy hasn't been back home long?"

"If he is in the early stages of therapy then the triggers will be fresh," added Emily.

"Even more so if he is so recently home that he hasn't accepted the need for help yet," Hotch joined the conversation, "JJ can you work on a press statement with me, we need to appeal to families as they will know if their loved one is acting different. They may have suggested therapy, and had their ideas rejected. They may already who this is and will hopefully come forward with a name so we can help. We need to stop him before he hits again."

The team nodded their agreement and returned to the respective focus and task so they could hit the ground running. Time was of the essence if they were to avoid another hit like the two that had already killer twenty-four and injured many more.

Derek sighed, he glanced out the window. Glad to be working and busy instead of being sat at home brooding over the weekend, it helped, yet his Mom never truly left his thoughts. She was there constantly, as he still tried to think of what he could do, how he could make it all better. Of course he knew he was thinking the impossible but still he had to try. He had learnt to live with one parent but he wasn't ready to lose the other yet.