Author's Note: I found this list I wrote two years ago, added an introduction to it, and decided to post it. Enjoy!

39 Uses for Stormtrooper Helmets

"Alright, kids," said Hera. "Your rooms are a mess. You need to be responsible for your things. I shouldn't have to tell you to clean your rooms! You're practically adults!"

Sighing, Ezra opened the door to his cabin and checked to make sure it was clean. None of his clothes were piled on the floor; all of his weapons were stored away safely yet conveniently. His gadgets, contraptions, and spare parts were in a box at the foot of his bunk, so he could build things whenever he felt like it. His collection of stormtrooper helmets was, as usual, in the far corner of the room. All was as it should be.

Hera walked by the room to check on his cleaning. "I don't see what the problem is," he told her, beckoning her into the cabin to show off its orderliness. He motioned at his bunk. "All my stuff is where it's supposed to go."

"Yes, that's the problem," said Hera. "Your stormtrooper helmets are all over the floor."

"But I put them neatly in the corner!" Ezra protested. In fact, he had spent a good thirty minutes arranging them in a pyramid with the Force.

"Yes, they're in the corner," Hera conceded, "but they still take up almost half the floor space of the cabin!"

"Well, where else am I supposed to put them?" Ezra asked. "It's not like we have a spare room I can put them in."

Hera eyed his extensive collection warily. "I think you might have a few too many helmets. After all, you only have one head. Maybe you should get rid of some," she suggested.

Ezra gasped. "What? Get rid of them?" He summoned the closest helmet with the Force and held it protectively; the pyramid of helmets crashed to the ground. "They're precious! Each one is a reminder of each mission I've gone on! I can't get rid of them!"

Hera closed her eyes and shook her head, trying not to look at the sea of helmets that now covered the floor completely. "I don't know what you should do, but you need to find another solution than just stashing them in the corner. It's a waste of space, and Zeb might want to put stuff in the cabin, too." The door slid shut behind her as she exited the cabin.

Ezra sighed, then closed his eyes and used the Force to rearrange his helmets into their pyramid. He then left his cabin and headed to the common room, taking his favorite helmet with him.

Sabine found Ezra sitting on the common room bench, studying his helmet. "What's wrong, Ezra?" she asked.

"Hera's making me get rid of some of my helmets," Ezra replied dejectedly.

Sabine's eyes widened. "That's…unfortunate. I understand why you keep them; I like to have things to remember past missions by as well, but my paintings don't take up that much room."

Ezra raised an eyebrow. "Um, I can't paint," he informed her.

"I know," Sabine replied, amused. "Maybe you could repurpose the helmets instead of piling them in a corner."

Ezra pondered the idea. "That could work, but I wouldn't know what to do with them."

"I have to go clean my blasters, but I can make a list uses for the helmets and give it to you later," she offered.

"Okay," said Ezra. "Thanks, Sabine." The Mandalorian left the common room.

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About an hour later, Sabine slid a piece of flimsi under Ezra and Zeb's cabin door. Ezra picked it up and began reading it.

39 Uses for Stormtrooper Helmets

1. Helmet- Put the helmet on your head (obviously). It will provide (some) protection from blaster fire. However, Mandalorian beskar helmets are more interesting, have more features, and offer more protection. The helmets are not guaranteed to absorb blaster bolts; you can still die though, you stupid nerfherder, so don't be too reckless.

2. Drums- Bang on it. Do not do this while people (ahem, Kanan and Zeb) are sleeping or meditating. Doing so may anger them, and ultimately cause your death. Buckethead Helmets Provider Co. is not responsible for your injuries or death.

3. Art supply holder- Turn the helmet upside down and put art supplies inside. Now people will not trip over rolling spray paint cans on the floor and break their faces open. Good for them. (I'd like to borrow a few, if you don't mind)

4. Lightsaber holder- Turn the helmet upside down. Make sure the lightsaber is deactivated then put the lightsaber(s) inside. Do not bisect yourself in the process; you're not Darth Maul.

5. Blaster holder- Turn the helmet upside down and put blaster(s) inside. Do not accidentally shoot yourself; it is not recommended for your health. Make sure blasters are easily accessible in case you need to shoot someone.

6. Bowling pins- Place ten helmets in the correct positions. Lob bowling ball (see number 7) at the pins, and count the number of pins you knocked over. If you are Sabine, completely dominate the game. If you are someone else, completely fail so Sabine can win.

7. Bowling ball- Fill the helmet with heavy stuff (like rocks). Duct tape the open end of helmet closed, and poke three holes in tape for finger holes. Add additional duct tape to make it more round. Then, throw it at bowling pins, other people, or annoying astromechs. (ahem, Chopper)

8. Dodgeball- Throw it at people. Then, run when they get mad. Bonus points if you use the Force. Double bonus points if you hit a stormtrooper. Triple bonus points if you hit the stormtrooper it used to belong to. Quadruple bonus points if they die.

9. Paint bucket- Fill the helmet with paint. Make sure it doesn't fall over and spill onto the Ghost's floor or Hera will make you scrub every drop of paint off.

10. Flower pot- Fill the helmet with dirt. Make small holes at the base for drainage. Plant the flower inside, water it, and make sure it gets lots of sunlight. I recommend getting an artificial plant light, because we are in hyperspace often. Don't let Chopper near the flower or he will kill it. Poor flower. Rest in pieces.

11. Explosives storage- Place explosives inside the helmet. Do not put the helmet on your head while it is filled with explosives (This should be obvious, but I am being cautious because you lack common sense, and I will not be held responsible if you blow yourself up). It will probably blow up and you will probably die. Then I will have to go to your funeral. I don't have time for that.

12. Laundry basket- Turn the helmet upside down and fill with dirty clothes. However, do not put the helmet on your head if it has had your or Zeb's smelly socks in it.

13. Trash can- Fill it with trash and stuff, like banana peels. Beware: Chopper will get jealous. He wants to be the only trash can on the ship.

14. Cooking pot- Cook soup in it, preferably meatloaf soup. Clean the stormtrooper sweat out first. On second thought, you could leave it in there to add flavor.

15. Target for blaster practice- Place it on a post in the ground and shoot the snot out of it! (Do helmets have snot?) Make sure not to shoot as poorly as the trooper who originally owned it.

16. Portable toilet- Hopefully you will not need a description for this.

17. Lampshade- Take the lampshade off a lamp and replace it with a helmet. Then it will look like it has glowing eyes. You can put the old lampshade over Chopper's head and call him Lamp2-D2.

18. Fishbowl- Fill it with water and dump random goldfish inside. Feed them and flush them down the fresher when they die. Also, clean their poop out occasionally.

19. Birdhouse- Drill a hole in the top and hang it from a tree with duct tape. Fill it with twigs, sticks, leaves. Then, the birds will come and you can name one Star, so it will be a Star bird.

20. Alarm clock amplifier- Turn helmet upside down and the place alarm clock inside so it echoes. You could also add an electroshock prod so it zaps you when you try to hit the snooze button (I want to hear your screams).

21. Speakers- Place your holo-radio inside and play it loudly so it echoes and disturbs a certain grumpy Jedi's meditation.

22. Mando helmet- Give it to me and I'll spray paint it to look like a Mandalorian helmet. It won't be as protective, cool, or efficient as real ones though, like mine. Mine is cooler than all of your helmets. It also doesn't smell like stormtrooper sweat.

23. Bucket- Fill it with random stuff, like water, sand, or holofilms. However, Chopper will get mad if you fill it with bolts. He is the only bucket of bolts on the ship, and he wants it to stay that way.

24. Fencepost decor- Put on fence posts. It looks cool. It looks even cooler if you put googly eyes or wigs on the helmets. Or a squeaky clown nose.

25. Cereal bowl- Fill with Vader-O's. Then add blue milk. Then, either eat out of it or put it on Ezra's head, so he will be a soggy blueberry.

26. Jewelry box- Fill the helmet with jewelry, like bracelets or necklaces or whatever it is that normal girls wear. I prefer to wear armor and vibroblades.

27. Barf bucket- Barf into helmet. Say hi to the partially digested carrots. Then, barf some more and dump it on Zeb. Then, run.

28. Pet's water/food bowl- Fill with motor oil and give it to Chopper. He will thank you by electrocuting you but will secretly be happy.

29. Christmas decorations- Make a fake beard out of cotton balls and it tape to the helmet. Then put a Santa hat on it. Or, you could get two branches, tape it to the top, and give it a red, squeaky clown nose.

30. Cookie jar- Fill the helmet with cookies. Hide it from everyone except me, and let me eat them before Zeb does.

31. Jack-o-lantern- Paint it orange and draw weird faces on it. Then, put it over a flashlight or lantern so it will have glowing eyes. Add wigs, makeup, and fake mustaches. Stir well and bake for twelve minutes at 195 degrees celsius. Just kidding.

32. Trick-or-treat bag- Use duct tape to make a handle and decorate it to your liking. Then, go around and make people give you candy.

33. Backpack or purse- Make straps or handles out of duct tape. Put your blaster inside, along with explosives, your comlink, a fake id, your dark/lightsaber, spray paint, vibroblades, your credits, and a pack of Hoth-mint gum.

34. Possessed helmet- Place over a holovid, so it will look like it has flashing blue eyes. Prank people with it. ("Hey guys, I'd like you to meet my friend, Bob." *uses the Force to bring possessed floating head into room*)

35. Milk jug- Fill it with blue milk and add a duct tape handle if desired. Give it to Zeb, bet him that he can't drink a gallon of milk in less than 10 minutes without barfing, and chant, "Chug! Chug! Chug!" (it is physically impossible to drink a gallon of milk in ten minutes without barfing. Even for you, Zeb. (see number 27))

36. Prank a clone trooper- Steal Rex or another clone's helmet and replace it with a stormtrooper helmet. Be sure to give it back, unless you want to end up dead like the majority of the Jedi.

37. Popcorn popper- Fill it with corn kernels, and hold it over a fire (with or without the Force). Then, eat the popcorn. Add salt and butter as needed. Do not burn yourself. The last thing the Galaxy needs is another Anakin.

38. Basketball hoop- Use a light (or dark) saber to cut the top off. Then attach it to a door, tree, or random tall post and shoot some hoops. Don't actually shoot it though; that's what number 15 is for.

39. Artist canvas- If none of these appeal to you, give it to me and I'll paint it!

l-o-l

Author's Note: If you choose a favorite use out of this list in a review, I will write a chapter based on it. Thank you for reading!