Chapter 9: Keepsake

Heart! We will forget him!
You and I—tonight!
You may forget the warmth he gave—
I will forget the light!

When you have done, pray tell me
That I may straight begin!
Haste! lest while you're lagging
I remember him!

~Emily Dickinson

It was dark when Wanda woke up. It had been so long since she'd slept in a real bed that at first she thought she was still dreaming, that it had all been a dream.

But it wasn't. This was the bedroom she'd been given in the Sanctum. She was wearing the bathrobe she'd found hanging in her bathroom after she'd returned from having tea with Wong. She'd fallen asleep in it after taking a very long hot shower.

Dressing in her clothes from the previous day, she ventured out of the bedroom. The building was dark, but she found the kitchen so quickly she figured it had to be some kind of magic. The clock on the microwave told her it was 4:45 a.m. She made a bowl of oatmeal and put on a pot of coffee.

As she sat at the table waiting for the butter to melt into the oatmeal, she fidgeted with her power, creating a small glowing red sphere in her palm and levitating it between her thumb and each finger, and back.

Strange and Wong were probably asleep. If she took a quick look at another world, would they know?

She sighed and let the glow flicker out. She had to be honest with herself; if she did it, she'd be lost in it for hours, her breakfast would go cold, and this was the first chance she had to eat a hot meal in months.

This world was cold, empty, and painful, but Strange and Wong had a point: she had to learn to live in it again. At least long enough to save it from becoming even worse.

She ate her oatmeal and drank a cup of coffee, and poured another. She was on her third cup when Wong walked in.

"Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"Better, I guess." She shrugged. "Having a solid breakfast helps."

"It's the most important meal of the day. A good breakfast starts the day off in the right direction." He sat down across from her. "How did you sleep last night?"

"I think I slept okay. I was really tired. Yesterday was a long day."

"Yes it was. The room was more comfortable than where you were living in Edinburgh, I hope?"

Her eyes dropped to the table. "I guess. It was warmer, at least."

"There's something I've been wondering about."

"What?"

"Well, you know we kept an eye on you since you started opening cracks in the walls between realities. We first found you in Florida, then you smuggled yourself to Spain, and you drifted around Europe, never staying in one city for more than a few days at a time. But then four months ago you went to Edinburgh, and you've been there ever since. Why there?"

"It was..." She took a deep breath before finishing her explanation. "Vision and I were in Edinburgh when we were attacked by Thanos's followers. We were on vacation. We had been there for two weeks, just the two of us, not worrying about him being a superhero and me being on the run. It was the last place I was happy. I guess I was trying to find that feeling again. And..."

"And what?" he asked when she trailed off.

"After we were attacked, we left Edinburgh without going back to the hotel for our things, and then right after that the Blip happened, and...anyway, the remaining hotel staff put everything left behind in one room and left it there, not knowing what to do with it all. I told them I was staying at the hotel before being blipped and I was looking for anything that might have been mine, and they let me look through the room. I found this." She took a dark blue booklet out of her pocket, where she'd tucked it when she dressed that morning.

"Your passport?"

"Vision's passport." She opened it to the photo page, showing Vision in his human mode. "When I was on the run, we could only meet in secret. We'd travel to wherever we'd arranged to meet, he'd get a hotel room, I'd sneak in. This passport is a record of places we've been together. I can see other versions of Vision whenever I want, but all I have of my Vision is memories, and many of those memories are in here. It's solid proof that those times really happened. Besides...this is something that belonged to him, that he held, that his fingers touched." Her own fingers traced over the page, touching the memory of his touch. "I know, it's foolish..."

"No. It's a keepsake of him. I understand." He leaned forward and read the name under the photo. "'Vincent Gervais Russell'?"

"His alias. He wanted to choose a name close to his own, but that wouldn't sound too suspicious. 'Vincent' sounds close enough to 'Vision' that he figured if I accidentally called him by his real name in public we could play it off as my accent."

"That was prudent of him."

Wanda felt the muscles of her lips contort into a smile even as tears tickled at her eyes. "He always was. He was so thoughtful, so intelligent, so kind. I never really understood what he saw in me."

"Love isn't about what you see in someone. It's a reaction between two people, not a decision you make by weighing a person's pros and cons."

The tears spilled over as she took the passport back. "I keep it on me most of the time. It's all I have that was his; I can't stand the thought of losing it."

Wong handed her a napkin.

She wiped her eyes and nose. "God, I'm such a mess."

The voice of Doctor Strange intruded from the doorway. "Do you know much about frostbite, Miss Maximoff?"

She looked over at him. He floated into the room, his cloak flowing behind him, and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"In extremely cold conditions, the water in your cells can actually freeze. It usually happens to the body parts furthest from the core: toes, fingers, nose, ears. Do you want to know the most painful part of frostbite? Thawing out. When your skin gets cold, it hurts at first, but then it goes numb. You could freeze to death without noticing. You don't have the luxury of numbness when you thaw out. I've heard patients scream when they start to feel the damage that's been done to them." He leaned against the counter and looked at her. "So of course you're a mess. You're healing, and you're starting to feel it."

She figured that this was as much of an apology as she could expect from him.

"Is that all you have to say?" Wong asked.

Strange downed the last half of his coffee faster than seemed humanly possible and put the cup in the sink. "I found a new lead. Last week a group of hikers in Argentina didn't return on schedule. A search party found three of them dead, two others severely injured, but not severely enough. They attacked the people trying to rescue them without explanation. A day later, the last hiker made it down to the nearest town, where he violently struck out at anyone trying to get near him, insisting they all had monsters inside them. Does that sound like the insanity you were talking about, Miss Maximoff?"

"Yes."

"That last hiker is in custody pending a psychiatric evaluation. I want you to see what you can get from his memories. We head out in half an hour."

Wanda went back to her room to get ready. After quickly brushing her hair and teeth, she paced the room, trying to mentally prepare herself for what she might face.

It wasn't like she had anything to pack. It would just be a quick trip down to Argentina with the sorcerers. They'd probably be back before lunch.

She took Vision's passport out of her pocket.

It would be safe if she left it here, she assured herself. The Sanctum was one of the most secure, secret places in the world. It would be there when she got back. She didn't have to hold onto the memory of Vision every second; she needed to focus on the present, focus on what she could still save.

She forced herself to place the passport in the desk drawer and walk away.