Chapter 18: Wakanda
Now the nights grow cold
and cold winds return to howl.
With you gone,
my whole life is torn by winds.
I wonder: do you sleep alone?
~Princess Yoza, Manyoshu 59, from Only Companion: Japanese Poems of Love and Longing, trans. Sam Hamill
Shuri had asked them to stay in Wakanda for a few more hours. She expected her treatment to heal T'Challa wouldn't take longer than that, and wanted them there for it.
Wong suggested they spend some time exploring the streets of the capital city of Wakanda. Doctor Strange had declined, choosing instead to observe Shuri while she worked out of professional curiosity. Wanda wandered off on her own in a pensive mood soon after they left the palace.
"I've never done anything like this before," Vision said, walking among other pedestrians, reminding himself people were glancing at him and Wong because they must make an unusual sight on the streets of Wakanda, not because he was a deep red killer robot. "I've never just...been in a crowd of people. These people look happy and secure, and nobody's trying to kill me."
"Wakanda is a wonderful country," Wong said, "but it has not always been as peaceful and happy as it looks this evening. They suffered terrible losses in the battle with Thanos. It takes the soul of a people a while to recover after something like that."
Vision thought of the humans of his own world. Would they ever recover from what he had done to them?
"In my world, Wakanda is only a rumor. The Ultrons were never able to find it, and warriors and technology from here were the greatest threats Ultron faced from the humans. Perhaps Wakanda will rise from the ashes to become a beacon of hope and a global leader, once they realize the threat of Ultron is really over. If they ever realize that."
Wong frowned to himself, perhaps at the reminder that he walked beside a monster wearing a thin veneer of humanity.
But then he said, "I feel sorry for you, Vision. You were born into a war you didn't choose. It's unfortunately a common human travesty. Very few are they who actually get to choose what side of a conflict to be on, and anyone who decides the side they were thrust into is the wrong side is labeled a traitor."
"Yes," Vision said. "A traitor. Ultron called me that. Thousands of times. And it's a charge I can't deny."
"You saved a world. Don't forget that."
"You can't claim credit for saving someone's life because you decided not to kill them."
"You can if it's war," Wong argued.
Vision didn't answer. He didn't want to think about his past right now. He wanted to forget about it, to watch the smiling, laughing, chatting humans on the streets around them, to soak in the happiness and warmth while he could. The glow of sunset clouds painted the scene in a rosy hue. They passed families out on a stroll, couples eating dinner at a cafe. A pretty woman at a book stand smiled at him.
She wasn't smiling at him, he reminded himself, but at a human male named Vincent Russell, the man whose face he was borrowing. He'd read through the numerous stamps in Vincent's passport, wondering about the life of the human whose image he'd inherited. Vincent had loved to travel, it seemed. He'd been all over the world. But according to his passport stamps, he'd never been here, never walked down these streets. He never would have experienced a moment like this: a rose-gold sunset on a warm evening after a decade of knowing nothing but gloom and cold, a moment of entirely undeserved peace after a lifetime of war.
Wanda walked from the palace to the Hall of Heroes, the memorial to those who had fallen in the battle against Thanos.
It was a large, airy building carved from stone and set in the middle of the field of the battle it commemorated. Just to the right of it as Wanda walked up the long ramp to the entrance was the ravine where she'd fought one of Thanos's lieutenants, when Natasha and Okoye had come to her rescue.
The memorial was closed for the evening. She flew over the gate blocking the entrance.
The names of the fallen were engraved in various scripts around the walls.
She had heard about this place, built during the five years of the Blip, but she'd never been here before. Her own name was inscribed on one of the walls, in a list of warriors who had been turned to dust by Thanos's snap. There was a stele in front of it commemorating the defeat of Thanos and the reversal of the Snap, and statues of Tony and Natasha, the heroes who gave their lives to stop Thanos.
She walked to the far wall, to a sarcophagus on a raised platform. Her fingers reached out to touch the name carved at the foot of it: The Vision.
His remains were inside this marble coffin, separated from her by only a few feet of rock, and by the barrier between life and death.
"Excuse me, the Hall is closed. You'll need to come back tomorrow."
She turned to see a security guard in the uniform of a Wakandan warrior. His eyes widened when he saw her face
"I'm so sorry; I didn't recognize you. Take as long as you want."
She didn't recognize him. She wondered if he'd been there that day.
He retreated before she could think to ask, with a speed she wasn't sure was out of respect or fear.
She walked to the head of the sarcophagus, to a marble statue of Vision, posed heroically, his cape flowing behind him.
The tears began.
"I'm sorry." She didn't even know what she was sorry for. For killing him? For living when he hadn't? For cheating him of the bereavement she owed him by spying on other universe versions of him? For letting her life fall to pieces just because he was gone? For everything?
For everything. She was just sorry.
She slid down the side of the sarcophagus, pressing her forehead to the cool marble, pressing her whole body against it as if even in death she was trying to be as close to him as possible.
"What am I going to do?" she sobbed. "What am I going to do? Vizh... The world may depend on me, and I can't do it. I can't do it without you. I don't know what to do."
Had T'Challa been right? Could she have killed Thanos in Wakanda if she'd only been as motivated to protect as she was by revenge? She could have saved Vision. She could have prevented the Snap and saved everyone. She could have saved the universe, and she had failed.
She was the reason his body was sealed in this sarcophagus.
She shook with sobs.
When she was too exhausted to cry more, she just lay there, curled against the sarcophagus, feeling small and weak, too drained to even think.
"Did you read the plaque?"
Doctor Strange's voice was unexpected. She hadn't sensed his approach, and had no idea how long he'd been there.
She wiped her face on the sleeve of the Wakandan shirt Shuri had given her before looking up. Strange was looking at a bronze plaque on the wall above Vision's sarcophagus, bearing text written in several languages.
"No," she said.
"It tells Vision's life story. How he was originally made by Ultron, brought to life by the Avengers, saved the world from Ultron, served humanity, died nobly in the battle against Thanos. The world's first synthetic human. It says since the vibranium used to form him came from Wakanda, he's buried in his motherland. That's a sweet sentiment. It's unfair that it doesn't mention you. You were probably the most important person in his life. You're the one who gets to carry on his memory."
"I failed him. He's dead because of me."
"No. He's dead because of Thanos."
"I could have killed Thanos. You said yourself I almost killed him by myself at the compound."
Strange tilted his head, thinking her point over. "During my time as a neurosurgeon, I performed hundreds of operations. I saved hundreds of lives. But some of my patients died despite my best efforts. Could I have saved them if I knew more, if my brilliance had provided me with the right solution at the right time? Probably some of them. But that doesn't mean I'm responsible for those deaths. I did the best I could, the very best I knew how at the time, just like you did. It is not your fault."
She rested the back of her head against the sarcophagus and let her aching eyes close. "How can I know that? How can anyone ever really know that?"
He didn't answer for several seconds. When he did, his voice was quiet. "We figure it out as best we can, and we don't let ourselves be haunted by the ones we couldn't save."
"How can you do that? Just...not be haunted?"
"You find a way to survive and wait for it to get easier. We should go; the king wants to see us."
Wong and Vision walked into the throne room a few moments before a portal opened to admit Strange and Wanda. T'Challa was looking out the window, but turned to greet them. Princess Shuri stood beside him.
"Your majesty," Doctor Strange greeted him.
"Thank you for coming." T'Challa looked between the four of them. "I wanted to extend my gratitude to all of you for answering my sister's distress call. She has filled me in on the nature of the threat as you explained it to her, Doctor Strange. I understand that you believe only sorcery is an effective weapon against it, but any assistance Wakanda can offer is at your disposal."
"Thank you. Shuri has already provided assistance that may prove invaluable" Strange said.
T'Challa nodded, then looked at Wanda. "Miss Maximoff. I'm happy to see you safe. Your unexpected disappearance last year was quite concerning. I hope you don't mind if I tell Sam I have seen you. It would take a terrible weight off his mind."
"I'm betting Clint has already told him," she said. Her eyes were red and puffy. She kept them averted when she spoke to him. "Sam's going to be ticked that I didn't call him myself, but...go ahead and tell him next time you talk to him."
"I wanted to thank you especially, Miss Maximoff. I don't remember anything about the events of today, but from what Shuri and Doctor Strange have told me, you are the reason no one was hurt."
She looked keenly uncomfortable at the praise. "I'm just glad everyone's okay."
"And thank you, Wong, and..." He looked at Vision for a moment. "Have we met?"
"I don't think so," Vision replied slowly. "Not until today. My name's Vincent."
"He's a new recruit of ours," Strange said.
"Well, I would like to formally extend my gratitude to you as well, Vincent." He paused. "Are you sure we haven't met? Something about your face seems familiar."
"You met him in battle earlier today," Shuri suggested. "Even though treating you required erasing your conscious short-term memory, your subconscious may retain an impression of it."
T'Challa didn't look entirely convinced, but seemed to accept that explanation.
"Forgive us for cutting this meeting short, but thanks to Shuri, we have a new lead that may get us to the source of these attacks. We need to get back to work," Strange said.
"Of course."
"I'll continue to study the data you've provided me," Shuri added. "I'll contact you if I come up with anything else that might help you."
Strange nodded to her. "Thank you."
He turned and, with a wave of his hand, opened a portal to the New York Sanctum.
"What did Shuri help you with?" Wanda asked once they were back.
"She found the research ship we've been looking for. She used Wakanda's satellite network to contrast images of islands in the Southern Ocean for the last date the research ship checked in and the date the survivors were found drifting in their life raft. She set a computer program to highlight any changes. It located the ship in minutes. If we can retrace its route, we may be able to triangulate the Source."
"Good."
Strange checked his watch. He bit his lip thoughtfully. "Let's try to get a few hours of rest. We may be gone a while this time. Dress for the cold."
After Wanda and Vision headed to their rooms, Wong commented, "I think Vision enjoyed his time in Wakanda. But Wanda seems a little shaken up."
"She went to Vision's monument. She was feeling guilty because she thinks she should have been able to kill Thanos herself."
"She's conflicted, mourning one Vision and figuring out how to feel about another one."
"They're both coping as well as can be expected."
Wong dropped his voice. "When are we going to tell them the real plan?"
"Not yet," Strange answered.