Joker leaned forward in his chair towards the controls, trying to fill his mind with the progress on the Normandy repairs rather than the event that went down a deck below. Today was a tough day, and he just wanted a clear head and relaxed enough to focus. But images of Tali running off into the elevator made that difficult.
Nobody had the heart to say anything afterward. They just left their Commander's nameplate there on the floor, and slowly went back to their duties, or to grieve in their own way. Or both. They would let Tali put it up on her own time. When maybe the wounds had stopped bleeding.
Joker, however, only felt guilt. The vision of the Citadel breaking apart as they fled the scene kept replaying back in his head. He kept thinking of the ways it could have gone, and getting angrier and angrier with himself at each one.
I should have known. I should have known! I should have just gone down there and stood by for pickup! Instead, I floated in space like a…a stupid coward! God damn it!
His hands went to his face as he rubbed his sore eyes.
Hey, what kind of pilot loses their Commander twice? The crippled one!
The anger caused him to yell in his throat behind a shut mouth. And a look at his empty copilot's seat gave him an urge to punch his console, bones be damned. He cursed his inaction and desired some kind of justice.
His hand went to his pocket where EDI's chip was stashed. Yet another cost of his cowardice. There were so many things he was willing to give to hear her voice again, but only in memory did it echo.
Get me to Tali.
Joker scoffed slightly. It was unknown how long until Tali would show her masked face again. And when she did, he certainly didn't want to add EDI to the list of things to repair.
Everyone needed time to heal. But time was something that was in short supply. They could die here, and EDI was invaluable in helping them get off-world.
Again, he was paralyzed by indecision. No—
Inaction.
The thought stung, and his stomach dropped low. He can't make the mistake again. But he didn't like the solution either.
It was difficult to not put himself in Tali's shoes as he visualized what he was essentially going to ask her.
Hey Tali, I know I was the one that could've saved Shepard, but if you could take the time to save my partner of romantic interest so that we don't all die on this planet, that would be just great!
Hell, he would've broken his legs, too.
His hand went to call the Commander's cabin. It wasn't hard to believe Tali would hole herself up in there. But as his hand rested on the console, he looked down at his legs.
Perhaps asking tomorrow would be better.
His hand rescinded from the intercom, and he instead let Tali grieve for Shepard while he looked over repair reports, remembering his own time in service with the Commander.