Daine leaned against the railing, watching the squall approaching in the distance. She tapped her fingers against the banister, her restlessness mirroring the ominous shadows dancing across the waves. Her hair was heavy and damp with salt water, and her shirt clung to her as rain droplets joined the ocean spray.
It had been a year since they'd last been at the tower, a year since they'd been alone there together, and nearly that long since the smell of whiskey had reminded her of anything but his lips on hers. It had been fleeting and clumsy, and the feeling was seared into her memory like a ghost that would not leave her be.
Like so many other things it had never been acknowledged. Time passed and unspeakable moments mounted between them-a tenuous understanding forming that threatened to both cleave them apart and pull them into one another. Individual moments-brief and as ever-shifting as the shadows before her-that were easy to pass by one-by-one seemed to lay in wait for the dark, quiet moments where there were nothing but thoughts to fill the time.
The ride there had been much the same. An entire company of riders under the hot, late-summer sun was more than enough to distract from the lingering touches and nagging interactions. There was always an explanation, a trick of the light, or a possible misunderstanding to explain away each passing interaction.
And then in a dark, quiet corner of an inn that unspeakable understanding found them both. A rainy night, an inn full of riders, and a warm hearth had been a welcome change of plans for all though not entirely unheard of. Sarge had yelled at the recruits to get to bed as the hour crept on and the officers followed shortly, the fatigue of a long journey not erased by a few hours of warmth and song.
Daine and Numair followed and he walked her to her room-something he'd done a hundred times before in a hundred different inns. This time, however, the sounds of the tavern below were erased by that of raindrops on the old tin roof and the unlit candles did nothing to stop them from sinking into the shadows at the end of the hall. And then, instead of his normal goodnight he paused and the world stopped with him.
They stood there, the tiny bit of light reaching from down the hall allowing her to see the question in his eyes-the one he would never ask and the one she would say yes to but not out loud. The shadows between them receded, pushed away as they moved closer. She had looked up at him, stubborn chin tilted in a challenge she wanted to lose. He swallowed, the sound nearly audible, and dropped his gaze as he patted her shoulder and moved away from her and that dark, quiet moment.
"Numair," she had sidled up to him as he saddled Spots the next morning, trying to catch him before the day carried them both away.
"Daine, please." He struggled to meet her eye but shook his head in an almost imperceptible motion. She had just nodded as he mounted Spots and retreated into their familiar pattern.
And now, in the seclusion of their home, there was nowhere to turn when nothing but scant distance and a few unlocked doors separated them. Daine had brought Numair tea that morning, as he had taken to eating his meals in the study, to find him leaning over his desk with his face in his hands. She placed a hand on his shoulder and a gesture that once would have brought him comfort seemed to burn him as he jerked away, standing to place the desk between them and toppling the tea from her hands. She recoiled, shocked at his reaction as he stood across the desk with his back turned to her. Tea spread across the desk, soaking his notes and bleeding the ink into illegible shapes.
He swore softly, having turned back to see the damage but not meeting her eyes.
"I'll get-"
"I've got it," he headed her off and she bit her tongue, shaking her head and leaving without another word.
The squall pressed on towards the shore, seeming to gain speed as it moved. Movement in the corner of her eye tore her attention from the approaching storm. Numair settled against the banister, mirroring her stance but several feet away. She turned back to the water when he did not speak, as lost as him as to how to fill the space between them.
The wind rose, bringing more moisture to chill her to her bones-a harbinger of the downpour to come.
"Hag's bones." It came from him suddenly, a defeated sigh escaping him as he strode across the gap. She turned just in time to be taken into his arms as he covered her mouth with his own. He was rough, and wanting and she returned in kind. They broke apart just long enough for her to take a gasping breath before she closed the distance once more. Hands traveled anywhere they could reach, desperate to explore and grasp each other closer. Rain was coming down in earnest now and he pushed her sodden curls back from her face and neck. She moaned, softly, when his hand gripped the back of her head and he deepened the kiss.
She tugged at his shirt, wanting to be closer than their garments would allow-not caring of their location or the rising storm surrounding them. He broke away again, drawing gasping breaths. She tugged on his shirt, pulling him back to her but he did not follow. She tugged again, confused at his resistance and by the fact that he would not meet her eye.
His hands came back to her shoulders, and he leaned in. She tilted her chin, but he rested his forehead against hers and did not fully close the distance.
"I'm sorry," he kissed her forehead, "I can't." As suddenly as he had appeared he was gone, disappearing into the tower without so much as a glance back. Daine shivered, the cold finally creeping into her bones. A long moment passed as she collected herself, rain falling hard and pelting her already soaked body. She turned back to the water, only to find that the storm had shored.