[Jess Arc]
"The Vampire and the Wolf"
"Neither one of you sees your natural boundaries."
– The Fox and the Hound
Chapter 6
Jacob was fast. I cursed as he cut off my path after I thought I put a mile of separation between us. My knees knocked together in retribution as I failed to attempt pivoting into a new direction. An annoyed grunt passed my lips before I commanded my legs to perform their duty to get me out of here. Jacob intercepted my path in my every attempt to dodge him. While I understood avoiding him was fruitless, I was sending a clear message. I DID NOT want to talk. After one too many rounds of failed dodging, I huffed and climbed up a tree. By the end of the climb, my muscles felt fatigued. It was not a physical onset. It was…an emotional one. My feelings were stringing to every movement of my body and attempting to prohibit it from escaping Jacob's presence.
The highest branch on the tree was not enough distance for me in the end from the wolf who hated my kind. I didn't bother to look down despite my longing to know if Jacob gave up or was waiting on me. I kept my eyes focused on the endless sight of trees surrounding me in every direction. I knew where I was, but I felt lost.
"I can't lose you again." I clutched the trunk of the tree for stability as Jacob's words sprinted into my brain. Avoiding obstacles stacking against it; refusing to let their meaning set in. He said again.
Why again?
"You have no idea what you're missing out on, Jessica. All the people you really left behind. I understand the lie they have sold you from what you've told me. But don't expect me for a second to believe you begged Alice to change you when you can't remember your damn past. That was a shotty attempt to hurt me." His voice was crisp and began to sharpen into a formidable blade. Ready to slice through my disillusions.
"I have been hurt worse...by you. You helped me get everything I wanted. Bella was my girlfriend but at the cost of losing you. Then we finally rekindle things and this shit f**king happens! You were one of my best friends. You were so different than anyone I ever knew. You cared so much, and you had so much you wanted to see and do. Your ambition was slightly frightening, but I knew my in with you is that I pushed you to really live your life. To take chances." I forced my body to sit on the branch beneath my feet. My legs were too unsteady to guarantee I wouldn't be sent flying over the edge.
"I am not going to force this on you. You will either remember, or you will ask me to fill you in on what you're missing, Jessica. I have to get back to my pack soon...not without trying to make you remember. I have selfishly overstayed my time because being with you, even this new you, was what I needed after all these years when I thought I lost you. Failed you. Remember, Jessica. That's all I ask. For me. For your family." Jacob's voice sounded strangled and its underlying message pleaded that I take his words at face value.
I was in a dream like trance as I climbed back down the tree to face Jacob. He was fully nude, but for once it didn't bother me. I ripped the bottom half of my shirt off for him. Jacob's eyes burned a hole through my heart as he took my shirt and wrapped it around his waist without ever breaking his gaze upon me.
Of everything he told me, I asked the least important question that for some reason unsettled me the most not knowing.
"You have a girlfriend?" My voice faltered in not sounding pathetic. Why do I care?
"Had." I gulped and felt my hands fidget by my sides. Relief spread through me and I couldn't fathom why.
I licked my lips and followed up with a pointless question that was prompting more background from him. "Had?" Jacob released a heavy sigh that carried the tune of annoyance before clenching his jaw. My eyes absorbed every muscle ticking and flinching in distress throughout his body.
"You know, I had a crush on you." My chest swelled with confusion by his deflection. I should have stopped prying at this point, but curiosity got the better of me.
I snorted to sound indifferent. "You did not."
"Don't flatter yourself. It wasn't big. Tiny. But still something." A cocky air exuded from Jacob. He must have had all the girls in the world wanting to date him before and now….
"You never acted on it?" I wanted to see how far he would draw out this game.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I liked Bella more." I can only presume that was the "Ex" he was with before.
"Oh." My tongue was flailing around in my mouth. It wanted to break free and ask more questions. I kept it locked in prison. Jacob took a confident step towards me and cupped my right cheek with his hand. His warm touch was the trigger to my tongues jail break.
"So, you're not still with her? Bella?" It was a redundant question, but I wanted everything to be clear. I needed to know.
A pinched, unhappy expression marred Jacob's beautiful face. His expression conveyed his words to follow would be straightforward. "No, we broke up a while ago."
"Why?" I felt a mix of unsettling emotions stir within me as I resisted from stepping forward to Jacob and…offering him a comforting touch. Of some kind.
"We didn't see eye to eye on something big."
"That big?"
"That big," he repeated to me with the assurance of a man who had no doubts over what happened. But I still felt a need to verify it.
"You regret it?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because it led me to where I am today."
"And where is that?"
"Right here. With you. My A-game Jessica." My head began to spin, and my body wanted to drift to the ground. Jacob's words were ammunition to take down the wall between fantasy and reality. I had a hint it was there, but I ignored it because I was happy with Edward, Alice and the rest of my family. I didn't understand how stifled I felt in who I could be until I started spending time with Jacob.
I folded my arms over my stomach and bent slightly forward, not ready to submit to Jacob's verbal assault. Yet.
"Give me more," I said in a quiet voice. Jacob's warm touch flitted around my back in aimless circles. I didn't want his physical comfort. I wanted his words or my memories.
"More?" Jacob's voice was cautious in attempting to understand what I needed from him. I gripped my stomach tighter to hold myself together while my body began to rock slightly. Something was being cut up. Stitches were coming undone and I felt like I was shattering.
"Why…" I began to croak out before falling to the ground. Jacob's arms caught me before I dropped to the grass. He gently set me on the ground and my chest tightened. I focused on that and not the fact I was falling apart and couldn't understand the underlying reason.
"A-game Jessica?" I finished my question barely above a whisper. Jacob smirked but his eyes were clouded with concern. He drew my head to his lap and began to smooth my hair with his hands. The repeated patterns of his soothing warm touch offered a calming effect. I felt my pieces freeze from their ever-evolving crumbling into dust that would blow away with the next gust of wind.
"It was a snide remark at first. Then evolved into an endearing nickname of your constant support in my endeavor to win over Bella. After you…" Jacob's dark eyes attempted to mask pain, but it was there. Poignant and asking for me to take notice and to not be fooled. I swallowed before slightly bobbing my head to see what would come next. He was allowing me to steer what I wanted to know without added pressure of just telling me.
"After you were gone, I realized it was because you should have been my first choice. Not Bella." Jacob offered me a careful smile that fueled my anxiety after he spilled a secret that should have been kept a secret. I shot up out of Jacob's lap and put as much distance as I could between us in half a second. My brain began to scramble for a logical excuse of why Jacob would bring this up. I was with Edward. He knew this.
"Why would you say that?" I hissed at Jacob as he remained sitting on the ground. Exactly as I left him.
"You broke up with him before you went missing." Jacob followed up with a deliberate, angry shaking of his head. My mouth went dry as I processed Jacob's words and actions. I wanted to beg him to stop. He was pushing me too far now. "In our last interaction, you had just returned from going A-wall for a few days over the shock over dumping Edward. But you seemed accepting of it and said you wanted to step out of the super natural world. This was TWO DAYS before you went missing. Tell me that doesn't sounds fishy, Jessica."
"Edward and I are mates," I insisted in a shaky voice streaking with self-preservation and loyalty.
"Are you married, Jessica? I never see you wear a ring." I bent my neck down as that one deep, dark secret of my own rushed to my mind.
Jess-
Your marriage certificate isn't valid because they didn't use your real name. I won't say more. If you ever want to talk, come find me. Otherwise, keep up your bliss with the Cullen's.
-Rosalie
P.s. Burn after reading. I don't know if Alice will see this and I am trying to cover my thoughts from Edward.
I assumed it was a cruel joke in the beginning given the fallout Rosalie had with my family. I had burnt it after reading and never told anyone in my family about it. Not even Edward.
But my time spent with Jacob made me question if there was truth to it.
"No, I am not…" Just four worlds, but I stumbled over admitting them and what that meant. A relieved smile began to spread on Jacob's face.
"I can show you Forks. It's where you grew up. Maybe something can trigger your memories for you…"
"Jake, no! I have my family here. As vampires, we only get one mate!" I insisted in a desperation that made no logical sense to me.
"Says who?" Jacob's questioning tone pulsed dread in my chest. I didn't have a good retort besides what I knew from my family.
"Is it not the same for wolves?" Jacob darted his gaze away from me for once and guilt etched his handsome face. "You do!?" I shouted in triumph. Then the implication of my words sunk in and I stumbled back into a tree behind me.
"It can happen," Jacob reluctantly admitted. "It hasn't for me, and it will never!" Jacob snapped and re-fixed his gaze on me with an emboldened confidence.
"We all get one! That's it!"
"Says who?!" Jacob roared.
"Says me! We get one family and one mate!"
"You f**king left your family behind with this life. Your mom, dad and Daniel!" My nostrils flared while my body began to wrack with confusion. "If you want just one mate, fine!" Jacob snarled in contempt with dark, vulnerable eyes. "But your family deserves better, Jessica Stanley."
My body collapsed to the ground.
AN: Okay, I don't know why but it's a struggle to get to the ending I want for this story. Nothing I write seems to flow like it did my first few chapters. I struggle with what makes the most sense to me. So, just going to do my best here. I feel like if I really f**k it up, y'all will make note of it in a review maybe? Otherwise I will just keep on! I strive to make my stories realistic in the "fantasy fanfic" world sense lol
LalaLand972's response to review:
WPear: Yay I am happy you were excited for the last post ^_^ I was unsure of where I was leaning with this story, but decided I am going to get Jessica to remember. I don't know how much. But I can't figure out what is going to make the big connection for her *_* I will figure it out eventually though! P.s. The Phoenix will be updated by end of the month. It is a big chapter, so I actually enlisted a BETA for it :O lol