Blueberry Vodka

Richie should've known that having drinks with Eddie when they were a day away from fighting a killer clown was stupid as fuck. He learned this the hard way when two things became quickly apparent to Richie. One; Eddie was a seriously confused adult. Two; blueberry vodka is strong as hell and the most sour liquor Richie had drank in a while. Somehow, Eddie had started the night off normally but before long, he had told a still mostly sober Richie that he was getting a divorce and didn't want to die without being in a good relationship. Two shots had taken Eddie into therapy while leaving Richie there to be an actual therapist because he knew exactly what Eddie had said; years of drinking away reality had given Richie a tolerance to pretty much every alcohol there was. Now it was time for Richie, who had taken another shot, to talk as Eddie downed his third for the night. Richie told himself to hide the bottle from his best friend so they could walk straight in the morning before he calmly explained what he thought of all Eddie had said.

"Eds, you deserve better than your mom-wife, so when we leave here tomorrow, go find someone new. Someone who appreciates all your weird little tendencies, like having to bring an umbrella even if the chance of rain is low or never putting too much ice in your drinks because you don't like the watery final sips. Just go be happy, man, I know I need to as well."

Eddie was drunk, yes, but he was still himself inside of his hazy mind. So when Richie's voice broke a little at the end as he glanced down at his large hands, Eddie was brought back to being sober enough to realize that something was wrong with his best friend. Eddie had known Richie for his entire childhood and they were closest with each other out of the Losers. Richie and Eddie had teased, wrestled, and talked with each other almost everyday. In all those years, Richie only cried twice. Once, when his sister fought with him, and then one day after Bowers had messed with Richie, he showed up sobbing to Eddie's door and held him in a hug so tight that Eddie was scared that Richie would die if let go. So Eddie knew when he saw the damp eyes behind the glasses that Richie had something that needed to be said.

"Richie?"

Richie didn't like that Eddie's voice was so smooth and clear, losing the slurred endings that had been there just a few minutes prior and it broke Richie's final attempt to end this deep conversation before it dropped off into the deep end. Richie looked over, tears streaming down his face quietly, and he just slid out of his chair to go to Eddie's open arms. He took a few steps to close the gap between them and curled into the smaller man's comforting embrace.

"Richie, what's wrong? You can't bottle it up, it's not healthy. We...might die tomorrow too."

Richie gripped tighter at the word die, trying to hold on to the moments that were right then, because Eddie was right. They might not have a tomorrow. So Richie loosened his grip and sat back, taking a deep breath and controlling his tears as he quietly spoke.

"Eddie, I never really felt loved. Not as an adult at least. My parents disowned me after you moved away, so I got my own place and worked as hard as I could to make it out of Derry by 18. My sister didn't really care much about what they said, so she still came to see me for a while, but not too long. She got tired of the jokes, moved away, and we haven't talked in years. I moved to LA, made the whole comedian thing happen, but I still didn't understand it. With money, fame, and happiness, what was missing? Well, I never could see it until I had a dream, about five years ago to this date. I saw you, in your pink polo and red shorts that were definitely too small for you by then, and I knew. I finally felt like I was home. I wasn't missing anything I didn't know, I was missing something I had known long ago: you, Eds."

Richie's mind shut down; five years of knowing what he was and not saying it to a soul out of fear for what would happen came crashing in. His instinct was to run, to hide, to go find the clown and just say 'eat me', but Eddie knew Richie well enough to predict that. So he took Richie's hand in his and rubbed his thumb along the side. Eddie had to say something, something that he had been hiding too.

"I dreamed of you too."

Richie's eyes looked up from the void of shame and fear and loathing to see that Eddie was really there. He wasn't drunk, he wasn't just the clown tormenting him, and he wasn't far away in New York with Myra anymore. He was just pure Eddie Kaspbrak, looking into Richie's red eyes and talking in such a serene tone.

"It was three years ago for me. I was in a dirty, disgusting house and all I could feel was pure fear. It was so powerful that I was about to give into it, but I saw your face as a child. The broken Coke bottle glasses, button up Hawaiian shirt, and dark messy hair. I didn't know who you were or why I was so afraid, but I can still recall the exact things you said to me. 'Eds, look at me! You're brave, smart, and so caring. I'm here, just look at me. Just look at me.' After the Chinese restaurant, when I got in my car, I realized it was a kind of altered memory, I was in pain from my broken arm and I was horrified because the clown was right there, but you had said those things to me. And when I asked you why all those decades back? You had said you wanted to at least die looking into the eyes of someone you cared for. So I know, Richie, that I might not be brave, or smart, or even that caring anymore, but I can still say that I would rather die looking into your eyes than go home to New York and live until I'm 90."

Eddie's tears and Richie's tears fell together for an instance, but both men knew that they wanted each other more than anything else at that moment. So Richie put his hand on Eddie's uninjured cheek and wiped away the tears. Eddie nuzzled into the touch. They both felt more safety and love than they had ever felt in over thirty years. So when Richie's other hand slid behind Eddie's neck, pulling him in close in a deliberate way, Eddie let himself be led into the trashmouth. Eddie had kissed Myra and a few other girls, while Richie had kissed a few different people, but both of them had never felt the way they did in right then. A passionate and deep-rooted emotion came to them and their lips stayed locked in a sweet way. There wasn't any lust or tension, just release. A release of secret glances at each other. A release of dancing around to old songs in each other's bedroom. A release of movies with the Losers where Eddie had to hold Richie's hand or he'd be too scared to watch. A release of everything they'd never said or done.

Finally, they weren't like the blueberry vodka they could taste on each other's lips; they had let go of the sour, harsh way that they'd lived. All because they finally had each other back as a best friend and now as soulmates.

Of course, Mike had a certain skill of showing up at the right time, and he'd heard a majority of their confessions and had his phone in his hand. So he made sure it was silent and there was no flash. He readied his arm and as soon as they were kissing, Mike took a picture. It turned out perfectly, showcasing the love between the two that was so adorable that Mike almost cried. Then he heard the stairs creak as Ben and Beverly came down the stairs to get a drink too. Richie and Eddie pulled apart quickly, Richie trying to act natural as he almost face planted back into his seat and Eddie trying to get the tears off his shirt from where Richie had been sobbing into it. They honestly made Mike laugh, which was when he got caught by their embarrassed and nervous eyes. So he went ahead and started to walk toward them. Richie's natural ability to play off everything kicked in as Beverly and Ben walked into the inn's lounge and bar room too.

"H-hey Mikey! What brings you here right now?"

"I had some extra supplies for tomorrow that I wanted to give everyone. I also wanted to check in on how everyone is."

"I think we're all shaken, but at least we've got each other, right guys?"

Beverly's innocent question was all it took for Eddie to break. He had never been very good at hiding things, especially since he lived with such a crazed mother and then wife.

"I've got to say something to the group, so where Bill?"

"I'm h-h-here."

He came in from the outside, looking a little shaken, but holding a paper boat. It was clear that he had just returned from finding his token, which the other's had finished long ago. Mike wanted to ask about it and the other's were worried, but they knew that if Eddie didn't say what he had to say, he'd end up flipping from the inside out.

"I'm getting a divorce and going to live with Richie when this is over."

Richie was mortified when Eddie said he was sharing something. He didn't think he was ready to leave the closet yet, only letting Eddie know it because he loved Eddie more than the familial way he loved the other Losers. So he let out a sigh of relief when Eddie finished, but then realized the others expected him to speak too.

"Yep. I've got some room, even if the walls aren't thick enough to drown out the sound of…"

"Beep beep, Richie!"

It wasn't that bad of a sexual joke in Richie's mind, but Eddie and the others all just laughed that they all felt the same way towards his humor. And while the others started to talk to Bill about his day and token, Eddie and Richie just looked at each other and smiled, knowing that even if they died in less than 24 hours, they had lived their last day together.

And for them? That was enough.