Once upon a time mario was just chilling in his living room, living an average, ordinary life alone and by himself as a bachelor. But then he looked up and saw something strange.

"Oh my god, the title says mario goes down a weed pipe, so i guess I better do that. Lets a go." said Mario, climbing up to the attic of his apartment and jumping down the old weed pipe he had gotten as an heirloom.

But all of a sudden, a sppoky ghost appeared in from of him.

"ahhhhh! Who are you?' said a pooked morio

"Im a your brother, Luigi, how could you forget me?" said Lugi

"oh yeah, I think im a going to go down your a weed pipe man." said mario

"why.' said luigi

"look at the title." said mario

"oh yeah, but you really shouldn't actually. I wouldn't want you to scrathc it." said Luigi

"why should you even care if it gets damaged? Your a goast." said Mario

"OK, you know what, whatever. But you haven't seen the last of me." said Luigi, as he was able to disappear because he was a ghoast.

"Ok, i gueass i should go in now." said mario as he jumped into his weeed pipe.

Now that mario was in his weed pipe, it reminded him of the good old days when he first whent in the weed pipe 28 years ago. The memories made him cry a little.

"now what was i supposed to do here anyways. Why would the title ask me to do this instead of living my mediocre life." said Mario.

Of course, this didn't matter to mario, he had done his job that was ordained to him by the Divine forces that controlled his very existence, or at least, that was how it seemed to him.

"Well, anyways, I guess i should go." said mario, feeling somewhat unfulfilled.

But as he jumped to get out of his weed pipe, he soon found out that he couldn't. It was stuck

"what is happening?" said mario

a little while before mario tried to escape on the surface world, outside of the weed pipe, princess peach had gone over to give her saviour mario a visit, because it had been a while since she had been kidnapped by bowser and she was lonely.

"mario, where are you?" said peach.

But mario was not there at the moment.

Peach looked around the house for mario, but didn't find anything of value. So then she looked in the attic, and guess what caught her eye? That's right, it was the weed pipe, you feel good about yourself now?

She walked up to it and said.

"what fine craftman ship, this could be worthy a pretty penny. Im sure mario wouldn't notice if this went missing." said Peach

"oh i need to seal up the top first to preserve the contents of this, it'll be worth more I think." said Peach, sealing up the weed pipe. And thats why mario couldn't escape

a few hours later, Peach went into the local pawnshop to sell the weedpipe for drug money.

"Here it is sir, just like you asked." said peach haning over the pipe.

"I didn't ask you for anything, but this thing has really fine craftmanship, and its contents are in good shape so I'll give you 4,000 american dollars for it." said the guy in pawn shop

"dang it, ok here." said peach taking the money, but she was sad because USD had a weak conversion rate to Coins.

Soon after, the guy at the pawnshop opened up the weed pipe and took a look inside, unfortunately he did not expect a smelly man to jump up at him.

"mama mia, its hot in there." said mario, looking really sweaty.

"Damn bro, u ok?" said the guy.

"Oh yeah, i was a trapped in there like a baby in a hot car. But now that im free i can go home and live my unfulfilling and thouroughly dissappointing life." said mario.

"Not so fast spaghetti boy, I was sold this pipe along with all of its contents. That is to say, everything inside the pipe, and since you were inside that pipe, that means you belong to me now." said the guy.

"Oh, mama mia! Is there anything i can do, or am i gonna be your slave until the end of time?" said mario nervously.

"Hmmm, well, I've never owned a slave before, now that you put it like that. I think ill keep you." said the guy.

And from then on, mario was nothing more than a pet to the pawn shop owner. He was kept like an animal in a cage, and only let out on specific occasions.

Needless to say, life was a little bad for mario, but he had a plan. He walked up to the owner and made him a deal he couldn't refuse.

"Here, $10,000 dollars in cash for that pipe, and everything it came with." said mario, handing the man a large pile of money.

"what the heck? Where did you get all that dough?" said the shocked man

"Hey, you shouldn't ask so many questions. There are many places you can get $10,000, but not all of them are legal." said mario.

"well, i guess i can't complain, money is money." said the owner

"haha! You idiot, now i have my pipe, and my freedom! See you later sucker!" said mario

now mario was free, and all it cost was $10,000, his dignity, and several war crimes.

As mario walked down the street, as he usually did, like always, he ran into peach.

"oh shit, mario, its you, where have you been, you've been missing for 2 months." said peach.

"Yeah, i was sold into slavery after being trapped in this weed pipe I got from some guy." said Mario

"Oh yeah, I did that lmao." said peach.

"lol ok." said mario, walking back home, alone.

But he wasn't alone long, as that ghost from earlier reappeared.

"whoa, a ghost." said mario.

"yes, its me Luigi, your brother. I told you id come back, didn't i?" said Luigi

"I have a brother?" said mario.

"bruh." luigi said

"Anyways, what did you want to tell me?" said mario.

"I just wanted to say I am disappointed. I mean, what the hell was that chapter? Slavery, really. And that whole set up was contrived as hell. This story really went downhill after I died, didn't it?" said Luigi

"ok boomer." said Mario, walking away

anyways, i couldn't think of a proper way to end this

the end