Author's Note: I do not own South Park, or anything affiliated with it. The rights to it belong solely to their respective owners.

So, here we are again. This bit popped up in my head after playing South Park: The Fractured But Whole and seeing the ending. It remained in my mind long enough that I finally decided to obey my muse and write it out. Needless to say, this does have spoilers for both it and The Stick of Truth. You have been warned.

Summary: "No matter how hard you try to change the past, your dad will always have f #$%d your mom." The moment Professor Chaos said those words, he unleashed an evil he wasn't prepared for. When South Park's strongest hero becomes its greatest villain, can the Freedom Pals stop him? And if so, at what cost?

South Park: The New Evil

It was just another day for the Freedom Pals.

Dr. Timothy was looking for new assignments for the band of superheroes, Wonder Tweek and Super Craig were off having coffee together, and Human Kite (Kyle) was trying to get in touch with Netflix to see about getting that Netflix series for Mysterion.

But then, out of nowhere, they heard the alarm start to go off, and a light attached to Tupperware's computer started beeping, indicating that they were getting a message.

"What the hell? What's happening?" Mysterion (Kenny) asked gruffly, annoyed at having been interrupted during his break.

Tupperware (Token) unlocked his computer, saying "It looks we're getting a distress signal. And it's coming from…" Then he trailed off, and his expression became annoyed. "The Coon," he finished.

Toolshed (Stan) scoffed. "Just ignore. We already told that fat-ass that he's not allowed to play with us anymore after that 'Mitch Conner' shit he pulled," he said.

"Now hold on," Dr. Timothy said, speaking to them with his mind powers. "Eric knows quite well that we're still pissed at him. If he's sending us a distress signal, then he may actually need help."

Fastpass (Jimmy) stepped forward, the act made all the more noticeable by his crutches. "I'm st-still mad at him too. But it wouldn't to list- to listeee- to hear him out," he stuttered.

Tupperware sighed, but gave in and answered the call. Cartman's face instantly filled the screen, and he looked, for lack of a better phrase, completely freaked out. "You guys! Oh, thank God! We got big problems!" he said.

"If you're calling us, I don't doubt it. What'd you get yourself into this time?" Human Kite asked.

"Me?! I didn't have anything to with this! Just- Just look!" he said, and moved aside for them to see who else was in the Coon Lair.

When he did, the team of superheroes all gasped. Sitting in one of the chairs, completely unconscious, was Butters. He was wearing his Professor Chaos outfit, but his helmet was gone, he was covered in bruises, and both the outfit and his hair looked scorched.

"Jesus Christ! What happened to him?" Mosquito (Clyde) asked nasally.

Cartman held his hands up in surrender. "I've got no fucking idea! He just showed up at my door like this, said he needed help, and then just fell over. I brought him into the Coon Lair before my Mom could ask any questions, but he's not looking too good," he explained.

At that, the others traded glances. They wouldn't put it past Cartman to have beat up Butters himself and then set this up, all so that they would let him back in the franchise. Still… If there was a possibility that this wasn't a set-up, if some new threat actually had gotten to Butters while none of them were looking…

As superheroes, they couldn't take that chance.

Mysterion sighed. "Alright, fine. Do what you can for him, and we'll be on our way," he said, before ending the call. Once he was sure that Cartman couldn't hear them, he faced his teammates. "What do you guys think? Is this really another one of his schemes?"

"Maybe. But even if it is, we'll just kick his ass again. Either way, the situation gets resolved," Human Kite pointed out.

"I agree. Mysterion, you will go to Eric's house with Tupperware and Fastpass to investigate this. I'll see if any of the information we've gather will help with this. Mosquito, you go find Tweek and Craig and explain the situation to them. As for Toolshed, Diabetes, and Kite, you two should try and track down Call Girl. See if she knows anything," Dr. Timothy said, relaying orders to everyone.

Everyone nodded, and began to move out. But just as they were, Captain Diabetes (Scott) said "Wait. What about the New Kid? Where is he?"

Looking around, Toolshed blinked in surprise. Scott was right; Butthole was nowhere to be seen. "Huh. Maybe he just went home?" he suggested.

"If he is home, we'll stop by after checking on Butters. Fastpass, Tupperware, let's go," Mysterion said, turning around and letting his cape billow out behind him, looking all cool-like.

The team of heroes left Token's basement and split up into their designated groups. Whatever had happened to Butters, they would definitely get to the bottom of it.

Cartman was surprisingly quick to answer the door once the trio of crime-fighters arrived. "You guys made it. Good. I've still got Chaos in the basement. I gave him some health Burritos and Antidote juices, but he's still pretty weak," he said, letting them inside.

Once they were inside, Tupperware looked back at him. "I'm telling you this now, Eric. If this is some kind of trick, you'll be more banned from being in the franchise than you were before," he warned.

To their even greater surprise, Cartman simply shrugged. "Fine by me. My hands are clean this time," he said, and walked in front of the basement door. After enter the keycode and listening to the keypad say "Fuck. You. Mom." before unlocking, he lead them into the Coon Lair.

True enough, Butters was still there, and looked slightly better than he did during the video call. Mysterion quickly approached him, and shook his shoulder. "Butters, are you there? Can you hear us?" he asked, lowering the amount of gruffness in his voice.

Butters groaned. "F-Fellas? Is that you? He asked, slowly opening his eyes. He did just enough for the overhead light to hit him, and he groaned even louder. "I don't feel so good…"

"I understand that, and we'll get you some help soon. But first, you need to tell us what happened? Who did this to you?" the dark hero asked.

At that, the former villain eyes went huge, and he screamed. "No! Don't me make remember that! There was fire, and then explosions, and the farts! Oh god, the FARTS!" he yelled, flailing around and falling off his chair.

Tupperware, Fastpass and Coon were quick to join in, the four of them each grabbing one of Butter's limbs and holding him down. "B-Butters, it's alright! We're you're friends! We're aren't gon-gonna hurt you!" Fastpass urged him.

After another minute, Butters finally calmed down, and the four of them let him go. As she stood back up, Coon said "Jesus, man. Whoever beat you must have really been trying to fuck you up."

Butters shivered. "Yeah, he was. But if my fears are correct, this may have been just a taste of what's coming," he said ominously.

The other four couldn't help but feel like a chill was going down their spines at that, and Tupperware said "L-Let's just sit down and start from the beginning. You can tell us how you got hurt."

Butters nodded and sat back at the table, the others joining him. There was a moment of silence, and then he started "It all happened so fast. Now that the crime in South Park is down, I was gonna go back to being 'Evil' Professor Chaos again. But Dougie didn't want to play anymore, so I needed a new sidekick. That's when I went to visit the New Kid's house…"

Having snuck in through the kitchen window, Professor Chaos did his best to remain unseen and unheard. The New Kid's parents were in the living room, laughing and cuddling together and staring at one another with lovey-dovey eyes. If he wasn't busy with being stealthy, he would have made a loud gagging noise. As it was, he kept it to himself and waited for Butthole to get home.

He didn't have to wait long. The New Kid walked through the front door, looking the same as ever—same messy brown hair and beard, a black shirt with red-and orange flames on it, light gray pants and gloves, and a pair of futuristic sunglasses on that made his look both smart and mysterious at the same time.

The Blaster/Psychic/Assassin/Elementalist didn't even blink at the sight of his parents on the couch, and instead stood there. Not having noticed him yet, his mother said, "You're the tickle bunny!" running her fingers up and down her husband's sides.

"No, you're the tickle bunny!" Chris replied, doing the same. After a second, though, he stopped at the sight of his son having made it back. "Oh! Hey, kiddo!" he said, waving.

Looking back, Kelly asked, "Been out playing with your friends, honey?"

Butthole didn't respond verbally, as usual, but he did nod. His dad smiled wider at that, saying "This is a great town, isn't it?"

Kelly nodded. "I love it here. I'm so glad that we decided to come clean about our child's past all those years ago. I feel like, like our lives were changed by that event somehow. I love you," she said.

"And I love you," Chris told her. The two of them moved even closer, and gazed into each other's eyes. There was a moment of silence, and then Chris said "In fact… Son, would you excuse us for a moment? Mommy and Daddy have a little business to take care of upstairs."

Butthole's eyes widened, and an array of expressions flitted across his fact. First there was shock, then horror, then desperation, before it settled back to his usual neutral expression. Neither parent noticed it, but Professor Chaos did, and grinned. This would be perfect! He couldn't have asked for a better moment!

As it was, Kelly said "Oh, you little sneak!" and the two of them walked upstairs.

Almost as if he were in a dream, the New Kid slowly followed, the meaning behind his parents' words all too clear. After everything that he went through, after all the things he had done, his Dad was still going to fuck his Mom. Just like he had all those years ago.

Sure enough, once he was close enough to their bedroom door, he could hear the creaking of the springs in their mattress and his mother moaning. Butthole stared at the door. This was just like in the backstory Cartman gave him. His Dad, the man he trusted, was fucking his Mom, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Not even his superpowers could undo it once it had been done. No amount of magic, crime-fighting, or spacetime-manipulating farts could fix it. Not this time.

While the New Kid just stood there, unable to tear his gaze away from the door to his parents' room, Professor Chaos appeared behind him. Choosing his moment, he began with a low, sinister laugh, one that caught Butthole's attention but didn't cause him to look back.

"Did you really think that you could stop bad things from happening?" he asked. The New Kid did look back at him, but said nothing. The villain continued "Now do you see? It doesn't matter what you say, or what you do. Sooner or later, Chaos will always catch up with you. That's why, rather than fight the inevitable, I embrace it."

Slowly, he approached Butthole from behind. "You've tried being a hero, and see what that got you. Right back where you started. Why not just give in for once, and let your darker side free?" he suggested.

The New Kid looked away and closed his eyes, gritting his teeth as he felt anger well up in him. As much as he didn't want to admit it, the Professor's words had a ring of truth to them. He hadn't expected for Mitch Connor to pull that move in sending them to the past, but at least then he had been able to prevent the tragic event that made up his backstory.

Only for that same event to play out here and now, in the present. It felt like… like no matter… "There's only one truth in this life, New Kid. No matter how hard you try to change that past, you Dad will always, always, have fucked your mom."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the phone!" Coon yelled, stopping Butter's in the middle of his recollection.

When the other heroes looked at him, he placed his hands on the table and leaned forward. "Are you telling me that you actually tried to convince Butthole to betray us? Dude, if he kicked your ass for that, then I am not sorry!"

Butters twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Well, yeah! I mean, having him join me as a supervillain would have been really cool! Not to mention it would have made a great plot twist for the franchise. So why not try to convince him?" he pointed out.

Tupperware sighed. "Dude, that's really the kind of thing you should clear with the Doctor first. Nowhere in the franchise plan he came up with did any of us turn evil!" he said.

"We can w-worry about that l-later. What happened next? Butthole sai-said 'no', right?" Fastpass asked.

Now looking even more nervous, Butters said "Well, you see, here's the thing…"

For a long moment, neither Professor Chaos or the New Kid said anything. Chaos wasn't surprised at not having gotten a verbal response, but he was waiting for an answer of some kind.

As for the New Kid, he was trying to push back the anger in him. As much as he didn't want them too, so many negative memories began popping up in his mind.

Clyde blaming him for getting banished from space and time. The security guard in front of Token's house hitting him with pepper spray. Princess Kenny's unexpected betrayal.

The time he had been forced to choose between ripping off his mother's arm with his own hands or cutting off his father's head with a laser. His parents constantly arguing before he changed the past. And when the other heroes even had the gall to blame him for sending them forward in time to when Mitch was already mayor.

When they were the ones that asked him to do that!

And now, with all that put together, when he heard Professor Chaos's words, he could feel something inside himself just break.

The New Kid's eyes snapped opened and he drew in a deep breath. Releasing it as a long, drawn-out sigh, he said "You're right."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm calling bullshit on that one! Butthole does not talk! That's one of his things!" Coon protested.

The others glared at him, with Mysterion saying "Would you shut the fuck up?!" before turning back to Butters. "And then?" he asked.

For a moment, Professor Chaos could have sworn his ears were playing tricks on him. Did the New Kid… just talk to him? But the New Kid never talked. Well, except for that one time when they threw the Stick of Truth into the lake and he said that he was going home. But besides that, never.

Before he had time to contemplate if that had indeed just happened, the hero spun around and punched him straight in the stomach. Chaos cried out in pain and stumbled back. The hit had been hard enough that he nearly felt like vomiting, and tears sprang up at the corners of his eyes.

"Douchebag! What the hell?!" he yelled, too stunned to even notice that Butthole had assumed a fighting position, indicating that they were starting a battle. Or that, since the New Kid struck first, he would have the first turn.

The New Kid gathered up his energy and placed his hand on the ground. Disregarding the fact that the floor wasn't made of sand, as well as the fact that they were on the second story of a house, a geyser of sand burst out of the floor and slammed into the villain. Butters cried out from the hit, but he managed to pull himself together in time for it to be his turn.

"Alright. If it's a fight you want, you've got one!" Chaos called. Holding his hands together, he formed a sphere of pure energy before unleashing it straight at the New Kid, who was struck in the chest by the blast. However, the New Kid didn't do anything other than grimace. Now that it was his turn, he pulled a trio of small bombs out of his pocket and threw them forward.

They landed right behind Chaos, and he had just enough time to yell "Aw, hambur-!" before they exploded, sending him through the air. He fell down in the spot where the New Kid had been standing, while the hero took his spot and turned invisible. "Dang it. How am I supposed to hit you if I can't see you?" he said, trying to think of what to do.

But then he remembered that he did have one power that didn't require him to see his foe, and would actually be a great help here. The Professor grinned, before calling "Oh, minion!" and whistling loudly. In response, a tall Mexican man appeared, wearing a black shirt and pants.

"Un trabajo? Ahora?" the minion asked in Spanish, before putting on a set of tin foil armor with the word 'Minion' written on it. However, before he could finish, they both felt a rush of air and saw a massive cloud of green gas burst out of nowhere. Chaos nearly gagged at the small of the gas, the whole cloud of it smelling like one giant fart. Which, knowing Butthole, it probably was.

When the gas cleared, however, Butters saw that his minion was nowhere in sight, and he blinked. "What the-? Did my turn just get skipped?" he thought aloud.

Apparently, it had, as the New Kid threw three fireballs at him that each hit, setting his outfit and hair on fire. Butters screamed in terror and pulled out an Antidote, quickly chugging it down and using up his turn to put the fire out.

With it now his turn yet again, the New Kid summoned the wave of sand again and dealt another solid hit, bringing Chaos's health down even further. But this time, the villain was able to strike back, and called "Chaos Confuse-O-Tron!" A pair of cardboard tesla coils wrapped in tin foil burst out of the floor on either side of the New Kid and started sparking.

Professor Chaos laughed and unleashed the energy in the machine, shocking and dazing anything within range of the move. Which, in this case, was the New Kid. Then the cardboard coils faded away, and the New Kid glared at him. He threw another trio of fireballs, setting Chaos back on fire even as he winced in pain from the static shock.

Butters panted, all the fighting and his injuries taking their toll on him. What was more, he honestly wasn't sure if he could beat the New Kid anyway. He had lost against Butthole back when they fought for the Stick of Truth, and again when he had his giant minion mecha fighter. Granted, he had help both times, but it was still the final result that counted.

'If I want to end this, I've got to end it now!' he thought. Reaching deep down inside himself, he called upon all his strength and yelled "This is the end, New Kid! For it is time that I unleashed… the Hammer of Chaos!"

With that said, he glowed bright and grew in size, until the child Professor Chaos was replaced with a giant version of himself, one that was older, muscular, and a lot more intimidating. Chaos laughed and held one hand towards the sky. Several bolts of lightning shot down through the roof—somehow not damaging it in the process—and gathered in his palm. Once they stopped, they took the shape of a massive war hammer. "It's over, New Kid!" he called, swung the hammer down.

The New Kid's response? It was to smirk at him before unleashing another massive fart, one so large that it actually caused time to freeze for a span of several seconds. In that time, the New Kid wailed on Chaos over and over with his fists, the villain unable to stop it since he was frozen. And just before the time-freeze ended, the New Kid moved to side of where the hammer would land.

Time started back up and the hammer slammed into the ground, hitting the floor and doing absolutely nothing. Chaos stared in horror, but there was nothing he could do. His ultimate move spent, he turned back into his child self and fell on his ass. Meanwhile, Butthole was still wearing that smirk of his. Chaos quickly realized that, while he had just used up his strongest attack, the New Kid hadn't.

And sure enough, the moment it was his turn, the New Kid conjured a small ball of pure energy in hands before swallowing it. A loud rumbling filled the air as the energy when down his throat, pausing briefly at his stomach, and then racing through his digestive system. Then he turned so that he was facing away from Chaos and braced himself.

The moment the energy came into contact with his sphincter, the New Kid unleashed it all in an explosion of fire, wind and shit. It spread outwards and slammed into Chaos, dealing massive damage while simultaneously gassing him and setting him on fire. The Professor screamed in pain from the barrage and tried to hold on.

But it was no good. Not even he could withstand such an attack, and finally collapsed once the move ended. It was over.

The fight now done, the New Kid pulled out a taco and ate it, healing himself back up. Then he walked up to the unconscious form of Butters and looked down at him. Now that he had actually done it, he could see that the blonde was right. It did feel nice to let his anger out, to do evil and not worry for the consequences. So nice, in fact, that he wanted to do it again.

But he knew that the moment Butters woke up, he'd tell the rest of the Freedom Pals and they'd start looking for him. And with Dr. Timothy's mind powers, it would only be a matter of time before he succeeded. With that in mind, he reached down and yanked Chaos's aluminum helmet off his head, before walking away.

He had work to do.

"And after that, once I woke up, I was able to make my way here to Cartman's, since his house is so close to Butthole's. Thank God for that," Butters finished.

For a long moment, there was silence. Every hero present was quiet, trying to take everything they had learned in. The Amazing Butthole, the most silent but most powerful hero out of all of them, the one whose own farts could warp time itself… had turned evil.

"This is not good. Not good at all," Fastpass said, not even stuttering due to his shock.

"No kidding. To think that something like this could happen…" Tupperware said, looking at the floor.

Eventually, Mysterion was the first to come out of his funk, and said "We have to let everyone know about this. If any of them encounter Butthole and don't realize that he's turned on us, they'll be in real trouble."

"I agree. We should take Butters back to the Freedom Pals base as quickly as possible. That way he can tell everyone else too," Cartman added.

The other heroes looked at him, hesitating for moment. Coon was involved in this now, yes, but that didn't mean that they'd forgiven him for nearly getting them all killed—again—in his bid to make every day Christmas.

Still, this issue was bigger than their personal feelings, and they might need all the help they could get. Which was why Mysterion eventually nodded, and said "Very well. Fastpass, get us back to base as quick as you can. The sooner we can act on this, the better."

"R-Right away," Jimmy said, and they each grabbed a part of his shirt before the speedster blurred from sight, shooting out of the basement and running all the way back to Token's house.

And that ends this plot bunny. I'm not as hyped about this one as I have been the others, so if I do make a story out of this one, it won't be for a while. In any case, I hoped you enjoyed it!

Please review! If you flame me then the New Kid will fart on that flame while it's in still in your hand. (I'm just kidding… or am I?)