Author's Note: I do not own Rick and Morty or anything affiliated with it in any version of reality. (Well, I'm sure there's at least ONE reality where I own it, infinite possibilities and all that, but this reality isn't that one.) The rights to this reality's version belong their respective owners, whichever timeline or reality they are currently inhabiting. (Actually, if there are truly infinite realities, wouldn't that mean there's infinite versions of me that own it? Huh.)

Summary: Winter Smith. Female, middle child of Beth and Jerry Smith, takes more after her grandfather in intelligence and not giving a f #$. Unless there's chaos and mayhem involved. These are the adventures of Rick, Winter, and her idiot little brother Morty.

What is the point to anything?

Chapter 1: Pilot

It was the stench of alcohol that clued Winter onto the fact that she wasn't going to be able to sleep in piece. Well, that and the fact that her grandfather Rick and shaking her awake.

"Winter. Come on, W-Winter. I've got *burp* something. Something I-I-I wanted to show you and M-Morty," Rick slurred, obviously drunk out of his mind.

Winter groaned and threw a pillow at him. Despite being drunk, he dodged it on instinct, as well as ignored her when she said "Can't it wait until morning, Grandpa? It's 3 in the damn morning!"

"Yeah, I know. I just finished the… the thing. Come on, come on, I got to show ya," Rick babbled.

Winder groaned more loudly but gave it, clapping her hands twice. The lights in her room turned on in response, making Rick curse under his breath from the sudden light. The lack of darkness also enabled the two of them to see each other. Rick's appearance she knew by heart, but after years of disappearance he was still trying to get used to how she looked.

Long blonde hair in the exact same shade as her mother's, only held back in a high ponytail. Having forsaken pajamas as a child, citing them as a waste of money and material, she wore her day clothes to bed. Which consisted of a white lab coat like her grandfather, except hers was buttoned closed, a black T-shirt beneath it, khaki slacks and white boots.

Yawning one more time as she wished her good night's sleep farewell, she stood up. "Alright, what's this big thing you wanted to show me and Morty?" she asked crisply.

"It's-It's in the Space Cruiser, in the garage. Let's go," he told her, walking out her room. She followed, clapping twice once more to shut the lights off. Morty was already in the ship, having been dragged out of bed in his underwear when he kept struggling.

Soon enough, the three of them were out and flying over the city, taking in the sights. Streetlights flickered on and off, people slept, homeless people wandered about. It was boring.

"What do you think *burp* about the Space Cruiser, Morty, Winter? I made it out of stuff I found in… in the garage," Rick told them, keeping the craft surprisingly stable for piloting it drunk.

"Uh, yeah, it's great, Rick. Is this the surprise?" Morty asked, still half-asleep.

"Morty, I-I had to do it, Morty. I had to, had to make a *burp* bomb," Rick managed to say.

That woke Morty right up and caught Winter's attention. "What?!" he yelled, while she asked "Really? How big of a bomb are we talking here?"

"A really, really big bomb. Yeah, I'm gonna, drop, drop it down there. Make a whole new start," he replied.

While that didn't help Morty's quickly rising panic, Winter's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "You mean 'fresh start' as in, you're wiping the city off the map, or 'fresh start' as in wiping out the entire human race?" she questioned excitedly.

"The latter, Winter The whole human race. Besides, M-M-Morty, it'll be great. But first, we have to go pick up your friend, Jessica," Rick said.

Morty's terror paused. "Jessica? From my Math class?" he asked.

"That's the one. When I drop the bomb, I want, I want to do-do the thing. And like, be a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be the new Adam, and she's gonna be the new Eve. That's the surprise," Rick revealed.

While Morty visibly contemplated the idea of enacting what was required to be the new Adam and Eve, his terror quickly reminded him not only what else Rick was doing and of his own insecurity. "Wait! No! Jessica doesn't even know I exist! B-B-But forget about that! You can't wipe out humanity!" he protested.

That was when Winter spoke up. "Now, hold on a moment!" she exclaimed.

Rick glared at his granddaughter, all three of her that he could see. "W-What? You got a problem with the surprise too?" he demanded.

"Three problems, actually," the blonde stated, holding up her index finger. "One, a single bomb, no matter how cleverly designed, is not going to instantly wipe out the entire human race without causing enough damage to the planet itself as to render the effort pointless. Second," she raised her middle finger, "While I have no real issue with you starting over the human race with a new Adam and Eve, I do have issue with my brother being the new Adam! I mean, come on, he's Morty!"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Morty demanded.

Both Rick and Winter ignored his, as the elder scientist rebutted "Well, I was going to have you be the new Eve and-and someone else be Adam, but since you're not into *burp* into guys, I had to make do."

Ira glared at him. "Well, excuuuse me for being more attracted to other girls than I am to guys! And even so, couldn't we just take whoever the new Adam's sperm is in that scenario along with one of my eggs and make the child in vitro, without the need for sex?" she countered.

Rick paused at that, thinking as much as the alcohol would let him. "Huh. Yeah, I guess we could. Alright, you're right, forget Jessica. She-She-She's probably a bunch of trouble anyway," he decided, tossing his bottle behind him and then hitting a button.

"Arming neutrino bomb," the Space Cruiser declared.

Apparently, that was the last straw for Morty. "Alright, that's it, Rick! I'm taking the wheel!" he shouted and jumped out his seat.

Winter was treated to the show of a hammered Rick and exhausted Morty fighting over the steering wheel. Morty was calling both Rick and his plan insane, while Rick harped on about how, if Morty loved Earth so much, he should just marry the planet. How that would work out, since the Earth had no singular conscience—that she knew of, anyway—she didn't think the planet itself could participate in something like marriage.

Rick quickly grew tired off it and shoved Morty off him. "Alright, alright, Morty! I'll land, I'll land, I'll land the thing. I'll land the thing. Big tough guy…" he muttered angrily.

He flew them over some desert and them landed the Space Cruiser. Rick opened the door and feel forward, sliding down the avalanches of cans and beer bottles before landing on his back. Morty fell lover in relief while Winter sighed, regaining her sense of tiredness now that the fun was over.

"I-I wanted to know, Morty, that that was all a test, Morty. Just a big test to make you more… assertive," Rick stated.

Morty blinked. "It was?" he asked.

"Sure, why not? Listen, I gotta-" Rick managed to get out, before abruptly passing out and starting to snore loudly.

At that exact moment, the voice of the Space Cruiser declared "Neutrino bomb now armed."

"Uh, Winter? The bomb's still not off," Morty said, starting to panic again.

But she merely snorted, saying "And that's the third issue I have with this whole thing. If you're trying to build a bomb designed to wipe out all human life, why the hell would you make it release a shower of neutrinos, of all particles? Grandpa must have already been sloshed when he made it if he thought that was a good idea."

Having said her piece, Winter reclined her seat back and decided to resume sleeping, completely ignoring both her confused brother and the bomb.

The next morning…

The six of us were seated at the dining room table, enjoying a delicious breakfast cooked by Beth. Morty appeared to be fighting falling s\asleep with all his might, Summer was on her phone as usual, and Jerry was on his tablet.

"I see that the next episode of that singing show is on tonight. Who do you think's going to win?" he asked.

Winter raised an eyebrow and was about to comment about how a show consisting of one person's singing being judged by a panel of famous people did not objectively determine who had the best singing ability. Or at least, she was going to say that, until Morty lost the fight and fell asleep with his face landing in his breakfast.

"Oh, my god, gross! I'm gonna throw up," Summer exclaimed.

"Morty, are you sure you're not coming down with something. I told you not to practice kissing the living room pillow. The dog sleeps on it," Beth said worriedly.

"I'm not sick, Mom, I… I just didn't get a lot of sleep. Maybe my dreams were too loud or something," Morty managed to say, wiping scrambled eggs off his face.

Winter sighed and reached into her pocket, pulling out a thermos. "If you're so tired you can't even make up a decent excuse, I might as well help. Here, drink some of this," she said, sliding it over to him.

Morty took it without protest and unscrewed the cap. He started chugging down the content, before sitting ramrod straight as his mind instantly snapped awake. "Whoa! What is this stuff?!" he asked.

The middle sibling shrugged. "Eh, not much. I took this energy drink called 'Bang'—stupid name, I know, but it's got 18.75mg of caffeine per ounce—and mixed it with Mountain Dew Baja Blast and some stimulants from Grandpa's garage," she explained.

While Morty was staring at the thermos like a gift from the gods, Rick glared at her. "You took some stimulants from the garage with asking me first? Those could have been lethal!" he said, not angry so much that his grandson could have just died but that he could have used those stimulants for himself once he diluted them.

While Winter shrugged, apparently unconcerned, Beth said "Wait. Dad, was Morty out all night with you again, and that's why he couldn't sleep?"

Rick frowned. "What, so people are supposed to sleep every night now? You realize that nighttime takes up half of all time, right? Spending all that time sleeping is a complete waste," he said flippantly.

Now Jerry was the one glaring, and at his father-in-law. "Rick, how is my son supposed to pass his classes if you take him out every night for a high-flying science fiction brouhaha and then have my daughter pump him full of stimulants to keep him awake?!" he demanded.

'Brouhaha? That word's not part of Dad's regular vocabulary,' Winter thought, before looking at his tablet to see that he had indeed Googled the word. Winter sighed.

Rick also sighed, though more theatrically. "Listen, Jerry. I don't want to step off the line. It's your house, your kingdom, you're the alpha and omega here. But school? It's a waste of time. People running around like headless chickens from class to class, guy at the front says, 'two plus two' and the rest of the class says 'fish'. Then a loud bell rings, you wander off to the next class, rinse and repeat until you can leave. It's not an environment for smart people. That's my take on the issue anyway," he rabbled, before standing.

Looking over his daughter, Rick's expression instantly softened, and he said "That was a fantastic breakfast, Beth. Those eggs were great. I only wish your mother was here to try them." Then he gave her a kiss and the head and walked off to go into the garage. Check exactly which stimulants needed replacing now.

"Oh, Dad…" Beth said, smiling and wiping a tear from her eyes.

"Wait. Seriously?" Jerry said, just now realizing how badly he had lost that verbal battle.

Winter chuckled and stood up as well, before grabbing the now hyper-awake Morty. "Come on, brother mine. I don't know how long before that energy cocktail wears off, so let's get you to class so you can at least fall back asleep there," she said.

Despite the fact she could have easily graduated early if she wanted, Winter subjected herself to the daily monotony of high school. The reason she did so wasn't to look after Morty, to 'get the high school experience' or anything like that. Rather, the only reason she was still at this joint was seated in the front row of Mr. Goldenfold's math class.

Normally, Winter wouldn't even be in this class at this time, being a year older than Morty and thus in a different math class. But she had managed to get ahold of a cloaking device (again, stolen from Rick's garage) that turned her completely invisible. So, while she had a robotic clone of herself sitting in Trigonometry (the third thing she had stolen today) taking notes over stuff she already knew, the real Winter could sit back and admire the biological marvel that was Jessica.

Yes, Winter and her idiotic brother both had a crush on the same girl. Then again, it was hard not to, according the blonde. She had the most beautiful orange hair, great figure, stunning legs, and a wonderful personality. She actually treated Morty nicely despite being much more popular than him and wasn't fazed when something strange or abnormal happened. If anything, she seemed to like it.

So, yes, the genius child of the Smith family had it bad for the same girl as her brother. However, as much as she didn't like it, she had to admit that Morty might actually have a better shot. In all the times that Winter, and Jessica had spoken or had lunch together—which was often, if not everyday—she had gotten no indication that Jessica was attracted to girls as well. In fact, her current relationship with Brad seemed to indicate the opposite. Or maybe she was bisexual and had just never opened up about it.

Winter's inner monologue was broken by the sound of the ball Wow, that thing is loud. Despite that, most of the class was already out the door, including Jessica and Morty. She sighed. Looks like her admiration time was over.

Exiting the classroom, she was treated to the sight of Morty being shoved against his own locker by Frank Paliky, the latest in a string of bullies that chose Morty as their target. He drew a switchblade, making Morty say "Aw, jeez, Frank. I-I don't think a knife is really necessary."

If anything, that just made Frank madder. "You trying to tell me how to bully people? Big mistake, Morty. Now I'm gonna cut you, cause my family is not poor-!" he started, before abruptly being frozen solid by some kind of ice beam.

She blinked and looked in the direction the beam had come from, Stranding there was Rick, putting away a slightly smoking cold gun. "There you are, Morty! Listen, I need to something in another dimension, I need two other sets of hands. I could graft some onto myself, but it'd be easier if I just had you and Winter come help me," he stated.

Winter's eyebrows rose. 'Uh uh. I wanted a peaceful day after last night. I am not getting dragged onto another adventure on the same day,' she thought. Only to yelp in surprise when Rick grabbed her invisible arm and dragged her closer.

"Oh, and another thing. I built that cloaking device you're using, so stop thinking it could fool me," Rick commented.

Winter sighed and deactivated the field. "Alright, fine. Let's go," she conceded.

"Jeez, Rick. I don't, I don't know. I can't leave school again," Morty said, trying to put up some resistance.

But Rick wasn't having any of it. "Morty, do you have any idea how much higher the stakes are, out there in the universe. What, do you think I *burp* could just *burp* could do it all by myself, Morty? Is that you think?" he fired off.

Like usual, Morty crumbled like a poorly-built house of cards. "Aw, jeez. I suppose I could skip history. But what about Frank?" he questioned.

Rick took one look at the still-frozen bully and said "I'll do it later. Now, let's go!" And with that, he took both of them by the arm and began running through the halls, leaving Frank behind. Less than a minute later, they could hear someone screaming—was that Summer? —and Winter assumed the ice statue had been found.

Once they found an empty hallway, Rick took out his portal gun and created a glowing, swirling green portal on the wall. On the other side was what could only be described as fantasy land. There were swirls of colors in the sky moving in an almost psychedelic pattern, the trees were beige and seemed to also function as houses, and the grass was blue.

Winter blinked and looked around. "Where the hell are we now?" she asked.

"This is Dimension 35-C. Its climate conditions are perfect for a special type of tree called a Mega Tree, and the tree has these fruits that have seeds, and I need those seeds for my research!" Rick told them.

Despite having already agreed to this, Morty and was still Morty, and thus said "Rick? Looking around this place, I'm starting to have seconds thoughts about this whole thing."

Rick groaned. "All right, calm down. Listen, Morty. I know that change or going to new places can be frightening. You look around, nothing's the same. But you got to meet that stuff head on, y-you know. Charge in right in. That's how we grow. Me, I'm no stranger to scary situations, I see and deal with them all-" he monologued, before he was cut off by a feral roar.

Looking in the direction of said roar, they saw some sort of alien with over a dozen differently-sized eyes, multiple rows of curved sharp teeth, and drooling saliva that dissolved the ground it touched.

"Holy crap! Winter, Morty, RUN!" Rick screamed, taking off.

Morty also screamed and started running. Winter joined them, casting her eyes towards the sky and wondering why these kinds of things always seemed to happen.

Yet another plot bunny to have infested my brain, this one coming as a result of binge-watching the entire Rick and Morty series in under a week. Now that it's out of my system, I can hopefully focus on other stuff.

Please review! If you flame me then Bruce Lee will smash you with his nunchaku. (I'm just kidding… or am I?)