Chapter Six
Jason takes me to a small little clinic not too far from Gotham General. It's a quaint-looking little practice with a white picket fence and green shutters and it apparently belongs to a "family friend" named Dr. Leslie Thompkins. She seems surprised and almost shocked to see Jason, but quickly becomes amused when he explains why we're there.
"Have you never heard of protection, Jason?"
I want to crawl into a hole and die - just to get away from this embarrassment, and when she's done examining me she looks smug.
"You do know I'm not an OBGYN, right Jason?"
"Yeah, but you were the only doctor I trust, so . . ."
"Yes, well, when was your last period, Ms. Simon?"
This is mortifying.
"The middle of April, I think. Not since graduation at the very least."
"Do you know when -"
"It was the night of the earthquake." Jason cuts in.
"Are you sure?"
"It was the only time." I respond.
So mortifying.
She presses some keys on her computer then turns back to us.
"I'd estimate you're at about thirteen weeks with a due date of January twentieth. You're just about getting into your second trimester, so you should see the nausea go away soon. If you'd like I can schedule you for an ultrasound so you can hear the heartbeat -"
No, no, that won't be necessary.
"- and check for abnormalities, but we won't be able to find out the sex of the baby for at least another five weeks."
Five weeks. That's like the middle of August. Thirteen weeks. I'm - that's - what?
"But it was ten weeks ago, not thirteen . . ."
Because what the hell? Thirteen weeks seems a lot bigger than ten - and does that mean - fuck.
I can't be pregnant. Maybe I can just absorb the heartbeat like I did with Falcone? No one would even know and - and no one would have to find out about the-before-Annie. Because I'm still not convinced she's gone. Has she just been lurking here? Is she the baby? I don't even -
"We don't calculate based on the date of conception since most people don't know for certain. We calculate based on the date of the last period. Which is why you're entering your second trimester already."
That - February? It's already the middle of July and -
"So she'll stop throwing up and fainting?"
Dr. Thompkins stares at Jason for a bit. "Has she been fainting a lot?"
Jason won't know why - so I figure I ought to explain. Except - I've never really chosen to tell anyone.
"I mean I suppose? It's only been like three or four times, though and I haven't fainted in at least a week."
"Well, it should go away, but if it doesn't we'll take a look at what's going on. It could be something more serious."
Fantastic.
"The good news is at this stage, the chance of miscarriage goes down substantially. So, in the meantime, I want you to take some of these vitamins here to make sure that -"
I tune her out as she makes out a prescription for something that doesn't really need a prescription, makes an appointment for the third week of August, and insists on taking a look at my foot. I can't handle this right now. I don't even - I just got a job at Wayne Enterprises. I just graduated. I just got that bug into Luthor's computer. And Luthor! I can't be a mom.
How am I supposed to -
I can't be a -
And what if everyone finds out about Annie - the real Annie. Is it a girl? What the fuck am I going to do?
Dr. Thompkins takes a look at the stitches. "Who did this?"
"Dick."
She stares and almost seems to frown before Jason cuts in and amends my statement.
"Dick just patched her up - it was some girl who couldn't balance right on her heels."
"They were heels from hell."
Dr. Thompkins snorts and pats my foot after it's been rewrapped. "He did a good job. It shouldn't even scar too much, but you really need to be careful from here on out."
I ditch Jason at the pharmacy as he gets my vitamins and I make my way to Gotham General's Hospice Ward. I need to see Mrs. Janet one more time. The machines aren't keeping her alive, just comfortable while she's sleeping, and I watch the lines on the heart monitor thing (I think it's an electrocardiogram, but I'm not too sure) crest in time with the weak beating of her own heart that I guess only I can really hear.
"Hey, Mrs. Janet."
No answer. Of course there's no answer. She's unconscious.
"So. You - you got what you wanted, I think."
Her face is pale.
"Sorry you won't get to meet her. Or him. I'm - I'm -"
What am I even doing here? I can't be a mom. My hand finds its way to my abdomen. It would be so easy - to just stop the heartbeat.
"All my life I've been trying to find my place in the world. I'm no hero. I'm barely nice to the people I actually like. And there are people out there like Luthor, and fucking Joker who put you in here in the first place and I - I can't do this."
Talking to no one is odd. Mrs. Janet can't even hear me.
"I found out I'm pregnant. So - you know, the grandkids you wanted."
I'm so tired. Of all of this - all this crap. I'm a complete and total fraud.
"You should have never gotten hurt, Mrs. Janet. I'm so sorry. Joker should never have found you, I shouldn't be running with - fuck you never even met him, right? His name's Jason - the father of this . . . kid. And he's an annoying little shit. Like, you wouldn't believe how obnoxious he can be. But, he's - he's a huge nerd. He could probably major in English and not break a sweat. And he's - he's literally my best friend - which is sad, considering . . ."
I miss talking to her.
"Mrs. Janet, I don't know what to do. I'd be a terrible mom and - and - I want my mom back."
A cough interrupts my talking and I turn around to see Jason there.
"Hey."
He has a bag from the pharmacy.
I brush the tears from my eyes and sniff, trying to collect myself a bit. "Hey, sorry I . . . disappeared. Again."
"S'okay. I'm getting used to you going off on your own."
He walks forward, sitting next to me and leaning back on the chair.
How did I miss it? It must have been so obvious. Who else even knows?
"Does Bruce know?"
"Yeah, Martian Manhunter told him his suspicions."
Right - Annie. I'm such a fraud.
"And does everyone know or is it -"
"I'm honestly surprised you didn't realize. I thought you were being deliberately obtuse."
Right. Because it was so fucking obvious. Luthor probably even -
Luthor knew I shouldn't be sick. He said so at the Convention and recommended some of his labs and -
"Fuck."
"What?"
Jason's frowning and staring at me, even as I slowly register that Mrs. Janet's electrocardiogram, echoing the one I hear in my head, slowing down.
"Luthor saw me throwing up."
"What?"
"Yeah, it was right before that whole mess with my foot and - my blood was all over the floor."
Jason clicks his tongue and curses.
"Damn."
Luthor might know. He might have gotten my blood - would he use it to clone me? And how would that even work - and -
"Breathe, Annie."
Jason's hands are on my shoulders and he's staring into my eyes. "It's going to be okay."
But even as he says it, I can feel the tremors begin to shake the earth and -
No. This is probably not safe. I need to stop. Damn. I'd just started to make headway in my campaign against Luthor.
And even as I stare into Jason's eyes, trying to calm down, I hear Mrs. Janet's heart beat once and then stop. When I look over at the monitor it shows she's flatlined.
And she's gone.
I'm fucking crying again - because of course I am, and Jason's hugging me and - this is all bullshit.
All of it. How am I supposed to take care of a baby? I can barely take care of myself.
"You're going to be a great mom."
"No I'm not - just by existing, I'm putting this kid in Luthor's sights."
"Never figured you were one to let a billionaire walk all over you."
"I'm not." And how dare he?
"Then don't let him. You're going to do great."
And I can't even . . . this kid would be better off dead. Like Mrs. Janet.
I spend the rest of the week being good whenever Jason nags me about the prenatal vitamins. Not because I care about staying healthy for the kid but because he seems so excited. Jason is so goddamn excited about this. He's talking about how this kid - he's insisting it's going to be a girl, and what if it is - what if it's Annie - is going to be perfect and how he's going to make sure nothing happens to her. Not like with him. Not like with me. He's going to protect her.
And I just feel so guilty. Who's going to protect it from me?
We develop a bit of a routine with me going to work and coming home to Jason who's already made a crap ton of food - heavens know I need more of it now than ever - before he heads out to "take care of business."
I'm pretty "taking care of business" means he's out being Red Hood, but it's probably better that way.
He's gone for the fourth time this week that I log on to my computer and try to access LexCorp remotely.
And with a quick mark next to Tim's name on my shitlist (he's getting there in the redemption department, but he's still not off the hook for the papers I had to rewrite) I'm in.
I have to hand it to Luthor, he really has got his fingers in all sorts of pies. And there's so much data for me to sort through. There's his project, which looks interesting, and with my work at Wayne Enterprises I could probably make Luthor's life difficult. Or this one - and then I find it.
It's labeled "JL Enemy SBM Experiments." Which isn't ominous at all. Before I dig right into the file and possibly trigger some alerts, but who the fuck cares, I grab Jason's computer (his work one he keeps connected to his lair) and try to find out who JL Enemy SBM is - because JL obviously means "Justice League." It's like Luthor's not even trying to be subtle.
I don't figure it out that night - because of course the Justice League doesn't use a number system for their enemies. And I don't figure out who Enemy SBM is that night, because Jason comes home. But I do find out about a lot of the Justice League's enemies - Jason's computer is linked to the bat cave and Batman has a lot of information on their enemies.
It's the second week of August - Dr. Thomkins set up an appointment for the end of the week - when I finally find out about "the fifth dimension," Bat-Mite (and isn't that adorable?), and Mister Mxyzptlk (which I won't even attempt to pronounce - that name needs to borrow a vowel more desperately than Thor's mjolnir). And if I squint and tilt my head a little I can see how it could fit into SBM, which just leaves S. I don't find anyone who could be S, so I go back to reading about the fifth dimension - maybe the S is for something else.
Apparently the fifth dimension has different laws of physics, which is just confusing. But what catches my eye is about how Mister Mxyzptlk once opened a portal to the sixth dimension, which nearly killed him (I guess the only thing that can actually kill him is vowels), but he survived and there was even a little bit of tissue left over from his little excursion.
That night I pull an all-nighter - work is dreadful the next day but it's worth it - to search "fifth dimension" in LexCorp's mainframe and I discover how Lex Luthor was once kidnapped by Brainiac and managed to escape with his life and Brainiac's DNA. This DNA was engineered with the DNA from the fifth and sixth dimensions and packaged into something labelled "Serum."
The informational file on Serum has most of this information along with a ton of chemistry technobabble, so I click into the next folder, which is full of files, each labeled with a number and a name. I click on the first and start reading.
The next fifteen files all tell the same story. They're not super interesting, but I find them incredibly sad. These are people. They had lives. They had people they loved and jobs and ambitions and dreams, and then they were taken away by Luthor and injected with this serum. Each has a detailed physiological report that I don't bother to read. Some of them were cloned. All of them died, even the clones. Not even special life-saving technology or magic could bring any of them back.
The more I read the more I want to break something. There is no JL Enemy SBM. Lex Luthor was trying to create it.
On the file window, I find the last column, labeled "Status." Each one on this screen says "failed." I scroll down. Failed failed failed. Failed failed failed failed failed.
Success.
In a sea of failure I find the one instance of success. I scroll left again, and it's me.
My report is dated two years after the one before it. When I click to open it, I find out why. And it's really simple: all the experiments and alterations of the serum had, to that point, killed the subjects without exception. The entire experiment was declared a failure and all future attempts were abandoned.
My file is different. The initial physiology section is much shorter, and the "preliminary" notes actually date after I woke up.
In short, Luthor used the serum to get rid of a "problem" and ended up creating the first "success." Me. I'm JL Enemy SBM.
Of course, since I wasn't an intended test subject - because I was supposed to die, obviously - they didn't have all the preliminary data compared to the actually intended subjects, and so they paid the hospital to have my records and extra blood and tissue samples sent over.
They wanted to study me.
There are notes on everything. There are notes about me and my grades - saying I'm smart and maybe I got something from Brainiac. There are notes about how unhelpful I've been. My threat to make Luthor's life hell if he attempted to adopt me after Mary Simon's death was particularly noted.
The next note makes me grit my teeth. Because now it's talking about powers, and how on Infinite Earths would they know I have powers? There's been absolutely no mention of it until this entry.
Going back to the file window and sorting it by "status" gives me my answer. There are, as it turns out, two successes, and the second one is Caitlin Jeffers. Of course it's Caitlin Jeffers. Her file dates back to when I was sixteen, just after I'd told Luthor to fuck off - which, fuck, means I caused this - and is bigger than mine, which makes sense because she lives with him and probably gives him all the precious data he could ever want. It's got an extra layer of encryption which somehow survived my Trojan horse's decryption algorithms, so I'll have to do extra work if I want to read it. I decide it's not worth it, not right this second.
When I go back to chronological view, I notice she, too, is the one success in a sea of failures. And what's sad is that the file name under hers, dated for the same day, is Stephanie Jeffers. A failure. That means I killed her sister too, I guess. Fuck. Her file is also encrypted, so I go back to mine.
The reports are pretty scattered after my mom's death. There's of course my "fuck off, Luthor" note and some notes about failed communications attempts and one about how I'd cashed the last six cheques that Luthor had sent and a few about my grades in university - because fuck FERPA, I guess - and for some reason there's one dated the night of the earthquake that speculates on my powers some more.
And then. Then.
The next major entry is dated July 10th. The day after the Charity Ball.
It just confirms that they know. Luthor knows.
They know I'm pregnant. A blood test - that fucking Caitlin, I'm going to kill her - proved it, along with a detailed analysis of my vomit and cross-studies that show that nothing I ate could've possibly caused food poisoning. There are speculations about the kid -
I'm going to break this laptop if I read any more. I put it down and all I want to do is run away and scream my rage and destroy everything about Luthor right now.
When Jason comes storming into the apartment grumbling about how Bruce keeps picking up replacements and how "that demon brat is a little shit," I can't bring myself to bother him with this. I can't even let myself fall into his arms and cry like I want to - fucking pregnancy hormones - because he's got his own set of problems and I can't burden him with mine.
Because Lex Luthor is my problem.
If this kid is Annie - and even if it's not - I can't let Luthor get his hands on her - him - it. He doesn't need to be the kid's problem too. I can't let Luthor ruin anyone else's life. Especially not this kid - not Jason's kid.
I've never thought about stopping this pregnancy more than I do now. Not because I hate babies, but because I can't stand the thought of Luthor taking it away and doing who knows what horrible things to it. Of using it to get to me and. . . and hurting it in the process.
But then I look at Jason and how talking about our kid lights up his whole face, and there's no way I can do it.
That serum needs to be destroyed. Everything to do with that serum needs to be destroyed and Luthor needs to leave me the fuck alone because I am not about to bring the Justice League's attention on me anymore than necessary.
I wake up the next day to find Jason staring at his phone.
"What is it?"
"Bruce wants us over."
Oh. "Why?"
"He wants to introduce you to his little brat. And he probably wants to do something for my birthday." He's rolling his eyes and I'm not certain how serious he is about this.
"Wait what?"
"I'm turning twenty-two tomorrow."
"No - not that. I know - What do you mean 'his brat?'" I started saying one thing and ended up saying something else. I know his birthday is in August - Emma and Sarah never let me forget. I'm just not too eager to let him know that.
"Weren't you listening yesterday?" he sighs and turns over.
And therein lies the crux of the problem.
When he came home yesterday and started ranting, I didn't really pay attention. I was still trying to process the information I'd found out from LexCorp.
"I mean, I got that you were upset, but I didn't really understand what you were talking about."
"Bruce has a kid."
"He adopted someone else?"
"No. I mean he has a biological kid with Talia Al Ghul."
"Al Ghul as in the League of Assassins?"
Jason sighs, rubbing his face and looking tired and just done as he turns back to face me. "Yeah. You know I stayed with them for a while?"
"Yeah. You knew them, and the kid?"
Jason snorts.
"Yeah, this is going to be fucking awkward."
"Why would it -" I stop because there's really only one reason something like this would be awkward. "You slept with his mother?"
Jason refuses to look me in the eye. And I swear I'm not jealous. Why should I care?
"I definitely want to meet this kid then." I try to get up only for Jason to pull me right back down and I find myself staring up as Jason leans over me.
"You can't tell anyone."
"Oh? Can't even hint at -"
Jason starts to attack my neck and I almost forget what we were just talking about.
Almost, because Jason does end up pulling away and I'm reminded that he doesn't want to touch me - not really.
"Please don't tell anyone."
"Fine."
I won't tell anyone, but only because I don't want Jason to die - again. If this kid was raised by assassins, I'm quite certain it's capable of killing Jason and a well placed joke about his mother (who also happens to be an assassin) also probably would not go over well.
This time Jason doesn't take us to the batcave. Instead, like all those years ago on that one Halloween where I dressed up like Batgirl, we end up at the front door of Wayne Manor.
Jason seems to have forgotten all about that though.
"So I know this is the first time you've actually seen it from here -"
"I've been at this door before," I interrupt what Jason is saying right when he hits the doorbell.
"What?"
But before I can answer, Alfred is opening the door.
"Ah, Master Jason. Ms. Simon. Pleased to see you."
"Great to see you too, Alfred. You got any cookies?"
"Of course, Master Jason. Would you like tea to go with that? I can have it brought to the library. Master Richard and Master Tim are there right now, if you wanted to see them."
"And the little demon brat?"
"He should be coming along shortly. Dinner will be served at seven, so try not to eat too many biscuits."
Jason snorts but drags me off.
The last time I was here, I was so eager to leave, I hadn't paid too much attention. But Wayne Manor is really nice. It's big, don't get me wrong, and beautiful, no one could ever deny that fact.
But to me, that's not what I think makes a place nice.
It's the lived-in feel. And somehow, despite the grandeur and the timelessness the whole place radiates, it does feel lived in. It's clean and organized, but the book on the table by the couch in the library has a bookmark tucked in, and coasters are set out with mugs of what smells like coffee.
It's . . . nice.
"Hey, Annie."
"Annie! How are you feeling?"
Dick's the one that asks the question, and I try not to roll my eyes at them.
"I'm fine."
"The foot okay, then?"
I roll my eyes and sit down, making a grab for the coffee. Only to have it pulled out of my reach.
"You already had your coffee today."
And no. Now Jason's between me and my coffee and I don't care if he's the father of this kid - I will murder him.
"Give me my fucking coffee."
Dick snickers and Tim looks alarmed, but Jason doesn't even seem perturbed as he downs the cup until it's empty.
"Why can't she have any more coffee?"
Yes. Thank you! Tim might actually redeem himself and get off the shitlist soon.
"Leslie told me she shouldn't have more than a cup of coffee a day."
Tim definitely looks horrified at that, and I'm definitely not okay with this.
"I've had coffee every day since I was five. Give me my damn coffee!"
Oh. Wait. Five in the other life. Not this one. Damn. Now they're all looking at me as if I'm insane. Mrs. Simon wouldn't have let her kid -
"Well, that explains why you were always unnaturally chipper."
Wait, what? Is he - is he talking about the other Annie? Right. . . he knew her . . . this is so fucked up.
"Who the hell are you?"
I hadn't heard the footsteps, because I guess the ninja baby lived up to the name. Even if the baby ninja is practically my height. I'm not intimidated. I'm not intimidated at all.
"Hey, brat."
"Grayson. Drake. Todd. Slut."
What the fuck. This - I'm going to murder him. He doesn't even know me! And he should talk! He -
"Not as much as your mom, apparently."
Oh fuck. I said that out loud, didn't I? Crap. Fuck. The kid looks like he's about to gut me and -
"Ahhhhh!" The kid lets out some sort of battle cry and is that a knife in his hands?
"Woah, there. No stabbing the guests." Dick somehow catches the little demon and hauls him over his shoulder. "Let's get you to the dining room before you insult anyone else."
"Let me at her! How dare you even insinuate - I'll kill you!"
I try not to shudder as the kid glares at me, and definitely don't flinch when Tim clamps a hand on my shoulder.
"Get your hands off her."
"Maybe you shouldn't have antagonized him, Annie."
"Don't fucking ignore me, replacement!"
"He started it!" I say, pointing at the squirming angry gremlin on Dickiebird's shoulders.
"Maybe, but like - we just got him a few days ago and he's still learning basic manners. What you said isn't really helping."
"Damn you all to hell. See if I bring you back here."
Jason's muttering as he walks away - somehow with his hand clasped around my wrist and dragging me along.
We get to the dining room without anyone dying and there are three more people already seated, or helping Alfred with plates.
"Babs, Cassie, Steph, this is Annie."
A girl I vaguely recognize from school that one time Tim interrupted us smiles widely and waves.
"Hey! I remember you! So you know our resident gangster, huh?"
"I mean -" is she talking about Falcone? Or Black Mask? "I suppose?"
"How'd you meet him?"
I'm not quite certain how to answer that, so I just stare at her blankly.
"Come on, Steph. That's a little rude, don't you think -"
"Dick, why is Damian tied to his chair?"
I turn to see Bruce fucking Wayne at the door staring at - oh Lord this is fucking hilarious.
Not only is the brat tied to the chair, but he has a rag stuffed in his mouth. I hadn't noticed until just now.
"He was threatening Annie with a knife."
I could have taken him. I'm pregnant, not helpless.
Everyone stares at me - even the brat stops struggling, and - Fuck. I said that out loud, didn't I?
"Ummm. Congratulations?"
The brat huffs, slumping in his seat and no longer struggling against the ropes or rag.
"You hear that, Damian? No stabbing the pregnant woman. That's going to be your niece or nephew."
Bruce sighs, Alfred smiles widely, the other women at the table look apologetic and -
"Wait - is that why Jason said you can't have more coffee?"
"Jason's a killjoy. That's why he won't let me have more coffee."
"You're lucky I let you have any at all, the way you were throwing it all up last month."
Tim nods along in sympathy, not even sparing Jason's words a moment.
"Yeah, I totally get that. Jason can be very unreasonable."
"I'll fucking kill you, replacement."
At this point, Alfred's removed the gag from the brat, and everyone else has somehow made it into their seats.
"Why does he get to throw around threats?"
"Because I'm older than you, brat."
"What does that have to do with anything, peasant!"
Huh. The kid vaguely reminds me of Loki, with that superiority complex.
"So, Ms. Simon, when can we welcome the happy bundle?" Alfred's pouring water in the wine glass. I'm not insulted. Maybe a little. I still take a sip with a sigh.
"Apparently she's at like seventeen weeks and due sometime in mid to late January."
Yeah, sure. Let everyone know. What the hell, Jason.
Dick sighs. "First Bruce, now Jason. After all Bruce's lectures about using protection -"
I choke on the water I'm sipping and begin coughing. I can't - I can't breathe.
"Are you okay?"
No - that - that's hilarious!
"Seriously - is she going to be alright?"
"Dinner is served."
I manage to get my breathing and coughing under control after a few moments, and somehow survive the dinner despite the snide comments being thrown my way by the child in the monkey seat.
The drive back to the apartment is quiet, as I mull over the encounter with the child assassin and his eyes that were practically daggers as we left.
And my slip up. I can't believe I mentioned I'd had coffee since I was five. Jason knows I had amnesia after the accident. Everyone in school knew. And -
"Sorry dinner was a mess."
"Sure you are."
The climb up the stairs is annoying as usual, but I'd forced myself to keep going quickly because I can tell Jason wants to ask me about the "coffee since I was five."
"No really."
"You drank my coffee. I see how fucking sorry you are."
I couldn't keep my mouth shut, could I?
"Coffee's not good for you right now. At least not in the quantities you drink it in."
I can't even - I unlock the door to my apartment and try to close the door in his face. It doesn't work. He steps in regardless.
"Coffee is life." And I'm going to drink some if it's the last thing I do. Before I die. Before he figures everything out. Because he will. Jason's not stupid.
As I'm reaching into the cupboard to grab the coffee - he leans over me and pulls it out of my reach.
"Hey! What are you -"
"Look, can't you just believe I'm just trying to look out for you?"
"Why?" Just give me the damn coffee.
"Because I l-"
No. No, he can't. "How can you - you don't even really know who I am!"
He doesn't look impressed. "Who are you, then?"
I can't tell him and I need to tell him and fuck. This is all so messed up.
"From where I'm standing, you're Annie Simon, right? I've known you since you were five. Yeah, there's a whole lot I don't know, but there's lots you still don't know about me, too. The whole thing with Luthor is weird, I'll admit it but -"
Everything about Luthor and me - it explains everything and he doesn't even know the half of it!
"The Annie you knew - I - I'm not - I'm a fraud. I'm not Annie."
He stares at me for a solid minute and I don't think he really understands what I'm talking about. "Just because you don't remember anything from before you were nine -"
"I'm not Annie. I do remember. That's the problem. I just don't remember Annie."
The coffee he's been holding out of my reach before comes down and I make a grab for it.
"You mentioned you've had coffee every day since you were five, earlier."
He didn't even try to stop me from taking it, and I turn around pulling the machine toward me.
"Yes, but that . . . that wasn't Annie. I wasn't Annie back then. I was . . . someone else. Someone whose name wasn't Annie. Fuck I can't even remember her name. I don't know who Annie Simon was at all before she died that night - the night the car crashed into Luthor's. She wasn't even . . . Annie's just . . . Annie was a nine-year-old girl and she died that night - the night the car crashed into Luthor's. And I took her place. Because I died too."
Jason's stepped back, and I can't help thinking that's good. Now he knows and - fuck. I'm crying again.
I abandon the coffee to go to my laptop.
"This is what Luthor was trying to do." I show him all the failures and - "He was trying to kill Annie Simon for good. All the other subjects were failures. Except for me."
He spends a good ten minutes going over the files, and I lie down on the couch trying to not look at him. Until finally, he pulls away from the laptop.
"All this stuff Luthor did to you - it doesn't change who you are."
Once again he is missing the point. "You don't know that. You don't know who I am."
"Who do you think I think you are?"
I try not to sigh too exasperatedly. "You think I'm Annie - the girl who had a crush on you in elementary school."
His lips quirk up in the corners a bit and then he asks me another fucking question.
"Are you the Annie from fifth grade - or sixth - or seventh, whatever - who gave me lunch money?"
What is he getting at?
"What does that have to do with -"
"That's - Are you the Annie I helped with English papers and who makes amazing pie and -?"
"What does this have to do with anything?"
"If you are that Annie - you're my Annie and I don't care what -"
"I'm a fraud!" Because he can't be saying that! "You think it was just by chance that I figured out Bruce Wayne is Batman? That you were robin? I mean not that you yourself would be robin, I only figured it out after you died because I didn't pay attention when you got adopted, and I wasn't that big a fan of the Batman comics but -"
"That's normal, a lot of other people in other dimensions are known to have a telepathic connection to another world and they make stories of it - it's not unheard of - so it was a- "
"You don't understand! It wasn't just - there were two publishing companies - Marvel and DC and I read Marvel comics. Because I liked the movies - I grew up on the movies. They started when I was five. So I read the comics. I thought it was fake! Gotham never existed in my world! It was just a story. And I was a fan of - of the competition. I knew practically nothing coming into this world."
"So you're like the rest of us then, congratulations."
Ugh! He doesn't fucking get it!
"No I'm not like the rest of you. Because I know enough to get myself into trouble. And I'm not Annie. I've never really been Annie."
"You want me to call you something else, then?"
Oh fuck this. I get up and stomp over to the kitchen to get a mug, because the coffee's ready, and in my frustration it shatters into a million pieces.
"Fuck! No! That's not the point! The point is I'm - I'm not so certain Annie's as dead as I thought she was? What if this baby is - is Annie and -"
"If it is, then we'll deal with that, but you're my Annie. You don't get to decide you're not my Annie on your own - it's you that doesn't understand."
"What don't I understand, Jason? I'm a fraud! I've always been a fraud. And I've been lying - you know I told my mom - Mary Simon who I was and she didn't care that her daughter died. She didn't care that -" my voice cracks as fucking tears spill down my cheeks. "She told me she thought that I'm just another part of her Annie."
"Maybe she's right."
"Well. I don't fucking know if she is because now I have this other - Martian Manhunter said there was another consciousness. How can a fetus have another consciousness like that? That's not normal!"
"Annie, normal's overrated. You know all the thoughts I've ever had of -" he pauses, as if he almost doesn't want to admit it. "All the times I've thought of fucking you - they were all after you were you. Not the other Annie - I didn't even really like her. If she really is another person."
Wait what?
"Excuse me?"
"She was - I thought you were a spoiled brat. I mean, you were better than a lot of the girls at Gotham Academy, but -"
"What are you -"
He looks frustrated. As if he didn't really mean to say that.
"Look, Annie, that's not the point. The point is - I don't want the other Annie. I don't know the other Annie. The other Annie - if she died at nine years old - I don't know her. I know you. And so it doesn't matter to me if you're a fraud or if you're the 'real Annie' as you say. You're real to me."
"But - you can't."
"Annie, I'm trying to tell you I love you."
Blood is dripping from my hand from the shattered mug and -
What? What does he mean? How can he mean that?
A/N: I've been sick and when I wasn't sick I was working overtime, so thank Snickie for coming over and kicking my ass to finish this chapter. Chapter 7 is practically done and should be out next week.