I wake up with a start and a soundless yelp, breathing rapidly. My hands grip the soft blanket Mikey gave me, subconsciously looking for comfort. My lungs feel like they're collapsing, my heart beating so loudly it overrides all other sounds. Breathing starts to become painful, and my vision blurs in-and-out of focus.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I try to control my emotions, the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. God, why won't my head stop pounding-

I know that it's coming before the bile even begins to form in my throat. I wretch the blanket from my sweaty body, making a great effort not to trip as I sprint to the bathroom, doing so anyway and running into the wall with a loud thud as I do, sliding to the floor.

I pray no one heard that.

"What the hell was that?"

I can never have one thing.

I push myself up, willing myself not to groan as well and end up barfing in the hallway. Shaking the image from behind my eyes, I frantically get to the bathroom toilet and drop to my knees, shuddering as the vomit stings my nose and burns my throat. I barely made it. I groan softly as I lean across the tile to close the door and lock it. I can't have anyone come in. I need space. I try to even out my breathing, but instead, I start to dry heave. I lean my head into the bowl again, careful not to touch the vomit-water beneath.

"Dude, what was that?"
"Sounded like a 'thump' to me."
A half-asleep voice from behind the door, being followed by a gruff one. They're muffled.
"Is it Donnie?" the first one questioned, "Although he does keep a bucket in his lab.." A third voice hums, "Wasn't Casey sleeping in the pit?"

Shit, my mind was too foggy to decipher who was speaking, they're words mixing and slowly fading. My whole body was shaking, memories from my nightmare bubbling to the surface of my eyes. I cough and sputter, groaning in frustration.
A gentle knock makes me pause. I don't move.
"Casey?" It's kind. Who is that? Is it April? I slur my speech, attempting to mumble her name.
Another knock, harsher, more urgent, "Casey, are you in there? Raph, Mikey and I saw you run to the bathroom-"
"And run into a wall. Managed to wake up Mikey. Good job."
"Anyway, are you okay? Do you need...-unlock the door...-Are you listening?.."
I held my head in my hands, trying and failing to silent the ringing in my ears. I wanted to let them in, but my body was refusing to cooperate. So instead I sat on the cold tile floor, my arms wrapped around my abdomen. I lean against the tub, my eyes flickering around. I didn't bother to turn on the light, the room is pitch black except for the streak of light under the door.

"Hey, what's going on?" The voice was deep and caring.
Leo.
At least my mind was clearing.
"It's Casey," April replies, "He ran into the bathroom. It sounds like he's throwing up. Or at least was. "
I could practically see his snout crinkle. Raph guffaws, "Hah! Getting a little sick, Leo?" "Shut it. Is he responding?" April hums in a way that says no, and Leo sighs. "Maybe we should leave him be."
I nod in my head, 'Yes please go. I don't want anyone to see me like this, all weak and pathetic.'
Their voices echo and become distant, but I can't tell if it's because they're leaving or if my head is so cloudy that I'm losing my hearing again.
It was just a damn nightmare, why am I acting so dramatic?
I know the answer to that.
It was yet another dream about my mother, slowly decaying in a hospital bed, asking, no begging for me to promise to take care of Dad and Angel.
And by 'take care' meaning make sure he doesn't drink too much.
But if he does, keep Angel safe.
Let him use you as a punching bag.
Let him starve you.
Let him make you feel like it should have been you...
A sob escapes before I can stop it. I attempt to cover my mouth quickly, ignoring the vomit dripping down my chin.
Silence greets me from behind the door. Maybe they did leave. God, I hope they did.
"Casey?"
Damn it damn it damn it.
"Go away," I struggle to get my voice even, but it comes out strangled and raspy, "I'm fine." Someone scoffs, I think it's Raph, "Like hell."
A slow sigh through his snout, "Casey," Leo's voice is even, but in the way that it's like when he's trying to keep his emotions at bay. Despite this, you can still feel the underlying tension beneath his words. "We know somethings wrong. We just want to help, so if you'd unlock the door-"
"No." The growl is through my lips before I can stop it, " I don't need you! Piss off!"
My breath keeps catching in my throat, they're just trying to help, so why am I being such an asshole?
My hands scramble to my neck, where the air is refusing to get by. My vision is even blurrier now.
Shouts from behind the door peek into my fading mind. Something along the lines of "Break it down!" and 'What's goin' on?".
I jump as Raph, most likely, starts to pound on the door. The whole bathroom shakes. I realize with sudden horror that he's gonna get in, that they're all gonna see me, nothing but I pathetic puking mess on the floor. Nothing like the vigilante Casey Jones that they know.
The lock starts to pop off, so I curl into a ball in the back corner farthest from the door, knees to my chest and my arms wrapped around my head.
This is it, it's over.