(A/N) Guest person: *pauses* Uhh, I dunno, was it a Star Wars reference? It wasn't intended… Other Guest person: Congrats, this is your ASAP! Four days later... Right, so yesterday, Family Means Nobody Gets Left Behind came out, so the first chapter of that is up. Sooooo many people liked it and I'm happy, and still vibrating cause people like it, and it's almost getting more attention then this, and I'm rambling. But I'm just so happy! You lot chose a three week updating roster, so congrats, you get four more stories, and an extra update of SDC! Check my profile for a new poll, and my updating schedule all laid out nicely for you to see. Ignore the bird, I'm being self indulgent. It's cute. Sorry it's so late at night, mother didn't let me on my computer all day, so oh well.
Shisui knew Inari was grating on Gaara's nerves by the agitated sand swirling around him. Itachi and Kisame were camping a little ways away, Kyu and Kurama were in Naruto's mindscape again, and Shukaku was also in Gaara's mindscape. Didn't need him trying to attack Inari's ankles. Or everyone's ankles.
"Y'know what, if you think we're all going to die so much," Gaara exploded during dinner, after yet another "give up you're all going to die" speech from Inari. "I'll show you what my sensei will do to any of our corpses, and how that'll be just as useful!" He picked Inari up by the scruff of his neck, carrying him off to the room they had been given to sleep in.
"Don't worry, he'll be fine. Probably," Shisui said, waving a hand. "A bit traumatized at most."
Tsunami looked at him, aghast. "A bit traumatized!?"
"Gaara's just showing him his puppets," Naruto dismissed.
"If he's being shown puppets, why would he be traumatized?" Tsunami asked.
"They're made with human corpses," Tazuna said, shuddering.
Tsunami's face went from agast to white with pure horror, and Tazuna patted her on the back sympathetically.
"Maybe we should've set Naruto and his Talk no Jutsu on him," Shisui mused. "Probably less traumatic."
"This is more fun," Naruto argued.
Gaara came back in, dragging a basically comatose Inari behind him. He dropped him back in his seat, and sat back down to finish eating.
Naruto patted Inari on the head sympathetically, then continued eating.
"So, d'ya think Gato will send more missing-nin people at us?" Naruto wondered that night in his mindscape.
Kyu, at some point, had decided he wanted to try long hair, and as such was brushing it on one side of the room. "Maybe, it's possible."
"He'll probably just send thugs. Cheap ones that come in large numbers," Kurama rumbled, his head resting on his paws. "That's what his kind of evil human does usually."
"I suppose," Naruto agreed, settling down on one of Kurama's tails.
"This belongs to you," Itachi said blandly, walking up to where their team was protecting the bridge, and dropping a bird in Naruto's hands.
Naruto blinked at Itachi, before looking down at the bird, a small white cockatiel. "Oh! Shio! Who let you out of your cage?"
Shio chirped accusingly at him.
Naruto frowned at the bird, turning to Itachi. "I apologize to Kisame for Shio."
Itachi nodded stoically, a very slight smile flickering at the edges of his mouth. "I will relay your apologies. Would you like his cage in your room?"
Naruto nodded, glaring slightly at Shio. The bird chirped unapologetically at him, squirming out of his hands, and perching on his shoulder.
Gaara dismissed the bird quickly, going back to watching the bridge. Shino watched it for a few moments, before doing the same.
"I thought you left that bird at the hideout," Shisui said.
Naruto nodded. "I did. Apparently he bullied Kisame into letting him out of his cage, and ended up following Itachi and Kisame to find me."
"Smart little bird," Shisui muttered.
"Dumb little bird," Naruto corrected. "You shouldn't have followed me Shio! You could've gotten hurt!"
Shio was rather unapologetic.
"Hey, are those the thugs Gato hired?" Naruto wondered, pointing to the mist just off the bridge. "I mean, it's kinda about time, cause the bridge is nearly done."
Shisui activated his Sharingan and glared at the mist. "Probably."
"The Sharingan can't see through mist," Gaara's deadpanned. "Why you have it active is beyond me."
"But maybe they can see me, and now I have glowing red eyes!" Shisui countered cheerfully.
"Then they'll just think you're a demon," Naruto deadpanned.
"Why did we let you walk off to Konoha again?" Kisame asked seemingly thin air. "You're like a comedy show that never bothers to end and will never leave."
"Cause we said pretty please!" Shisui chirped.
"He did," Itachi confirmed, also activating his eyes as the thugs walked out of the air. "Genin?"
Naruto snorted. "Nah, we'll let you handle it. You left Zabuza and his fake hunter-nin to us after all!"
"Haku," Gaara supplied. "Haku Yuki. I asked Zabuza."
Naruto waved a hand. "Right, Zabuza and Haku."
"I handled the Demon Brothers," Kisame protested weakly. Weakly because they all knew he'd go slaughter the thugs with a grin on his face. Except maybe Shino, but he looked like he was getting an idea of what was about to happen. Poor Shino, having to deal with the bloody comedy that was their lives.
"No, Samehada did," Naruto countered cheerfully. "Try again!"
"I'm happy to!" Shisui chirped, freeing his tanto from its sheath.
Shino took this as a cue to hurry Tazuna and the other bridge workers away from that end of the bridge, and into the mist so they couldn't see. A two-tailed Kurama went with him as backup.
"Did you want any, Gaara?" Itachi asked, sharingan spinning.
Gaara shook his head. "Mere thugs. Useless except as meat shields, and even then, wooden puppets work much better in that capacity."
"Alright!" Kisame said, grinning, well, more like baring all of his very sharp teeth. "Thug extermination. Easy as fish soup."
"You can't cook fish soup," Gaara said blithely. "You burn it."
"That's beside the point," Kisame said, pointing Samehada at Gaara."
"Sure it is," Gaara replied, deadpan. "It always is."
Itachi snorted softly, and Naruto reacted like he'd been stabbed. "Itachi! You reacted! Imposter!"
One particularly fool-hardy thug ran forwards, and Itachi dispatched him ruthlessly without even looking, one chakra charged poke to the forehead had the thug's brains blown out the back of his head.
"Not very smart is he?" Shisui noted.
"Considering his brains are splattered across the ground, I highly doubt that," Naruto said, grinning as Shisui and Kisame charged headfirst into the now very angry and charging thugs.
Shisui was more graceful than Kisame, who was often literally tearing through thugs, leaving organs, limbs, and assorted bodily fluids on the ground in the wake of his destruction.
Naruto happily cheered them on, and Gaara remained standing, watching the devastation with a slightly pleased look. Itachi busied himself weaving a genjutsu over the thugs.
A few minutes later, they were all dead, and the battlefield had been cleansed by way of high powered fire ninjutsu. The earth would be barren for a while, but that was easily fixed with a couple of earth jutsu, and a convenient raincloud by way of a water jutsu from Kisame.
Shino came back, Naruto having sent another Kurama clone off to get him. He raised an eyebrow at the bare ground, over which was a heavy and dark raincloud. There was also a very significant absence of Shisui and Kisame, who had gone splashing around in the ocean to get the blood off.
"You probably don't want to know where the thugs went," Naruto said helpfully. "Or where Shisui-nii and Kisame-nii went."
"They're in the ocean, the thugs went to where ever idiots like them go when they die," Gaara deadpanned.
Shino nodded slightly, not saying anything as he walked back to the bridge workers and Tazuna to reassure them the thugs were gone and they could continue.
"I have a thing to do," Itachi said suddenly, disappearing in a shunshin.
"I'm sure he does," Shisui commented from over the side of the bridge. It was followed by some splashing, and they assumed Kisame had ambushed him with a water fight.
Shio chirped from his perch on Naruto's head.
"Yeah, you're right," Naruto agreed. "I probably shouldn't have let you see that. You are a bird afterall."
"He seems fine," Gaara said, raising a nonexistent eyebrow.
Naruto shrugged. "Weird bird?"
Gaara rolled his eyes. "Weird bird," he agreed.
(A/N) So! Back to Konoha next time! Yes, Itachi is going to deal with Gato, ignore him, he's over protective and doesn't want to bother with more thugs. To those who read both this and Family Means Nobody Gets Left Behind(until more people get the reference, I'm not giving out it's actual nickname) Do I need to put an update date on that currently empty friday spot? Or will you manage for three weeks. *amused* Remember the poll, would'cha? I'm freaking curious about what you think of the titles I offered up. Side note, Did you want to see what Kakashi's team has been doing before the chuunin exams?