A/N: So…I'm 7 months sober and that makes me happy so I'm going to post another chapter. And I forgot to tell y'all ( ß My Texan is showing!) that the song I used last chapter is "Blame It On The Rain" by He Is We. I love that band…and that song….anyways, back to what we are all here for. Oh, and I put a Buffy The Vampire Slayer reference in this chapter. If you catch the reference, let me know, you will be come the winner of best friendship…

Chapter 3

(Jade's P.O.V. - Starting at the beginning of the day.)

Tori seemed weird today, well weirder than normal, she hasn't even looked at me. Normally I can't even get the woman to shut up and leave me alone, not that I really want to leave her to leave me alone. You see, I have been secretly in love with Tori Vega since day one, but nobody ever needs to know about that! Nobody. Ever!

Anyways…the day has gone by slowly, she didn't even Sikowitz' class she didn't look at me, I was getting worried. She was always trying to get my attention. And I heard what she said to Cat earlier today, that's how I really know something's up, she never blows off Cat.

The day came to a close and I stopped by my locker to get my things, ready to leave this place that I like to call the Hellmouth, I saw Tori looking at me for the first time today, but I really didn't think much of it, so when Beck came and stood next to me I kissed him. Don't get me wrong, I already told you that I am in love with Tori, I love Beck but I'm not in love with him, and I'm so far in the closet you need a weeks worth of food for your trip to find me. So, I just stay with Beck even if it kills me a little bit each day.

"Yo, Vega!" I yelled across the hallway, "Just because you have a thing for my man doesn't mean you can just stair at us while we make out. Creepy much." I had to say it, if anyone would have noticed that I noticed and didn't say anything, they would get suspicious, seeing as I "hate" Tori. She looked down and walked away slowly. "Vega, wait up." I was running towards her, I had told Beck to leave once I saw her leaving. "What's up with you? Not that I care or anything, but you've been acting weird lately." I was looking her in the eyes, because in reality, I do care. "You can tell me, I can't promise not to laugh though."

She stood there silent for a few minute, it felt like an eternity, because all I could do was look into her beautiful eyes. "Jade," She whispered, she wouldn't even gaze at me, it's like, for once, she didn't want to look at me while talking. "It's not fair if I tell you, just leave me alone." I was confused, this wasn't like her at all. A lot of people say that we are so different, but if you think about it, we're not all that different when it comes to saying what is on our minds, she's just nicer about it than I. She started to walk away and I couldn't have that, I grabbed her wrist and spun her back around to face me.

"TELL ME DAMN IT!" I yelled, trying to get her attention, really, I was sick of this shit. I wanted the old Tori back, not this disheartened girl that she has become, this isn't the Tori I fell in love with. She finally looked at me, like really looked at me, like she was debating something in her mind.

She leaned in and crushed her lips to mine, it impulsive and I liked it, at first it was rushed, but it soon became passionate and tender, really affectionate. I have never felt anything like I was feeling now, not even with Beck. Her hands burnt my skin as she grabbed my waist, pulling me closer to her, I didn't know what to do, I mean if I was seen enjoying it that would out me right? So, like a moron, I just stood there, I did kiss her back, but I didn't move my hands to her neck, I just didn't move unless she moved me her self. "I love you, Jade West, and I hate myself for it." Tori whispered against my lips, I stood there shocked at what she just said, I couldn't believe my ears. Tori turned and left before I could even stop her.

I couldn't believe that the woman I loved loves me too, this was the best thing that could have ever happened to me, really. It doesn't mean that I'll be coming out of the closet anytime soon, but I'll be trying my damnedest to be somewhat friends with Tori, the change wont be quick, I don't want her to know what I'm doing so quickly. I was still standing where she left me, lost in thought, when my phone went off. "Hello?"

"Jade, it's Trina, have you seen Tori? She hasn't come home yet and she told me this morning that she was coming home- Oh my god." she whispered the last part so quietly that I could barely hear her. "Jade please tell me Tori is with you?"

"No, she left like five minutes ago. I'm not her keeper Tri-"

Trina started yelling at me, "GET TO THE FUCKING BEACH RIGHT NOW, JADE. SHE'S GOING TO TRY TO KILL HERSELF! YOU HAVE TO HURRY. SHE'S GOING TO USE INSULIN. PLEASE YOU HAVE TO GET TO HER NOW." If she said anything after that, I don't know. I hung up the fun and started running.

When I got to the part of the beach that all of us hang out at I started looking around, I didn't see her so I started running down the beach, at one point I saw her car so I knew I was going in the right direction. I could her soft singing in the distains, I knew it was Tori, so I ran harder, as I got closer I recognized the song she was playing. It was a strange feeling, hearing her sing that song, I use to listen to it every night while thinking about her. "Vega." I whispered once she was done with the song. She didn't do anything, she just sat there in the sand, I couldn't tell what she was feeling, but I knew it had to be something, she was planning on taking her life, well according to Trina, and I believe her, she wouldn't have freaked out like that if she was trying to prank me. "Vega, look at me."

She slowly turned to look at me, when she made eye contact, I could see so many different emotions going on in her eyes. "What are you doing here, Jade?" It was barely a whisper, it looked like she was ashamed that I was here. I have never seen her look so weak and broken before, it scared me more that Trina's freak out on the phone.

"What does it mater why I'm here, Vega, where's the stuff?" I was trying to sound like my normal self, I wanted to be the strong one, I needed to be strong for her, but I don't think I was pulling it off so well.

"I don't know wh-"

"CUT THE SHIT, TORI!" I yelled at her. I couldn't let her lie to me right now, I couldn't handle it. I grabbed her arm and yanked her up. "Where is the insulin?" I asked, trying anxiously to get back to my cool, calm, self. She just stood there, staring at me like I didn't know what the hell I was talking about, I was losing it, "TELL ME!" I screamed.

"Why does it matter? You don't care about me, you hate me, we all know it. Why does it even matter?" Of course I care, damn it! I love her! She still wouldn't look me in the eyes, she was looking over my shoulder. I didn't know if she really thought that I didn't care about her, that I really hated her. I regret everything I have ever said or done to her now, it's pathetic that it has taken this to make me regret it.

I let go of her arm and started patting her down, I was a bit relived that I didn't feel anything on her body, I knew that that didn't mean anything, she could have it hidden somewhere. I grabbed her bag, "Jade don't!" she said, in a panic she tried to get it from me before I could go through it, I pushed her down, back into the sand. I found the bottles, I don't know how I was suppose to feel about this, I was mortified that it was true. I looked at her, down on the sand, tears in her eyes but not falling upon her cheeks. I turned and ran, I ran until I got near her car in the parking lot, I knew she was following me, I looked back, and she was there, but I didn't stop.

"What the fuck do you think you were going to do with these, Vega?" I turned around facing her, she was just far enough away to not see the tears forming in my eyes. "I would have never thought you, of all people, would ever think about doing this!" I smashed the bottles on the asphalt, I had to make sure I destroyed them, I couldn't risk her trying to get them from me. "Don't ever even think about this again, damn it!" I stood there, looking at her for a few seconds before smashing myself into her, I wrapped my arms around her waist. "Don't ever scare me like that again." I cried against her, nothing ever scares me, this did. I never wanted to feel that again.