Hello my dears. I would like to thank OechsnerC and Meri Ley (Guest) for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.
So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it, and don't find Arthur OOC. This might be more how I wish he would be in this situation. But I can see him reacting like this, I hope.
I also want to say that I am moving house, and starting a new job within the next few weeks, so I apologise in advance if updates become sporadic throughout August. I try to update every Friday, but not sure how well I will be able to do that, so be warned.
Anyway, enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Merlin spent the night tossing and turning in his bed as he thought over what had happened in Morgana's chambers. As he remembered what his magic had shown him, and while he tried to decide if he was willing to give the price that was demanded to bring Morgana back to their side. Well that wasn't exactly true, because he knew, deep down in the core of his being where his magic resided, that he would be willing to give anything to prevent the horror Morgana could and no doubt would inflict on the kingdom he had sworn to protect. No it was more a case of wondering about what would happen if he failed. If he gave Morgana his heart, gave her himself completely and still he was not enough to turn her from her destined path. What would happen then? It had broken him to poison her, and that was before he hadn't allowed his feelings for the lady run free. Would he be able to do what was needed, if she still refused to join them? If he allowed himself to love her, would he be able to kill her? He didn't know the answer to that and it scared him as nothing had done for a long time. Because he knew if he took the risk, if he tried to save Morgana, he could be opening up Camelot, and therefore Arthur, to a danger he could not fight. No. He would always protect his friend. That was his destiny, to protect Arthur. And if that meant killing the woman who held his heart then he would do it. He would.
But even as he thought the words Merlin couldn't help but wonder if they were just bluster of a foolish man. He had once told Arthur he would willing be his servant until the day he died, and he stuck by that. He would willing give his life for the future he knew Arthur would bring once he became king… but was he also willing to give his heart? But on the flip side, was he willing to risk what would happen if he didn't take the chance his magic and destiny was offering him? Was he willing to let Morgana become their greatest enemy without a fight? Was he really willing to risk the future he dreamed of, just to protect his heart?
Arthur to, had spent most of the night thinking, though he was trying to work out what he was going to do now. Now he knew that something was going on between Merlin and Morgana. His first instinct was to order his servant away from the lady, tell him that there was never any chance they could be together. But even as he did so he remembered all the times Merlin had been there for him. Had stood beside him and given him hope that he could have future with Gwen, when he became king. Could he really tell Merlin that there was no hope for him and Morgana, when he himself longed for the day he could make Guinevere his queen? No. He could not tell his friend that there was one rule of him and another for everyone else. That was not the kind of king he wanted to be. Which left him with much to think about. Because if he wanted to be with Gwen, then he was going to have to accept the idea of Merlin being with Morgana. The idea made him squirm, she was a like a sister to him, and for her and Merlin to be together, til felt all weird in his mind. But he knew he was going to have to overcome that. Merlin had supported him with Gwen, he could return the favour. And hey, at least Merlin was no longer under that damn love spell. Oh he hoped he wasn't. No Gaius had found an antidote, right? that was what Merlin had said… but what if that had only been a temporary fix? He didn't like the idea of Merlin leading Morgana on if he didn't have feelings for her, and he remembered when he came into Gaius' chambers that Merlin clearly said he did not love Morgana. What was going on? But as he lay there in the dark of the night Arthur knew he didn't have any answers. All he could do was prepare to talk to Merlin in the morning. Yes, he would sit his servant, no friend, down and they would talk. He would get the answers he needed, and then he would work out how to go from there. With that decided he slipped into a fitful slumber.
Merlin came to Arthur's chambers as usual that morning, barging through the door with a breakfast tray balance precariously on his arms as he did so. But as he turned to the room he saw something he did not expect. Because Arthur was already up and dressed… well kind of dressed at any rate. He had to give him points for effort if nothing else. But no matter, he still plastered on his sunny smile as he spoke.
"Well prat, I'm surprised you are awake."
"I am capable of managing without you, Merlin. And you really can't call me that." Arthur replied turning from staring out of the window as he had been doing since he had woken with the break of dawn, his mind too full of things to allow him to sleep in.
"Fine, dollop head it is then. So tell me are you setting a new fashion trend or something?" Merlin asked placing the tray on the table and moving to make the bed.
"What?" Arthur asked with a frown, his eyes only concentrating on the food now on his table. He had not realised he was hungry until now. Who knew thinking caused such need for food?
"Well most people wear their shirts with the seams on the inside, but each to their own. I'm sure no one would question the prince of Camelot." Merlin smirked, taking great delight in how he watched Arthur rip of his shirt and turn it the right way round before pulling it back over his head. He knew he couldn't dress without his help, this just proved it in Merlin's mind.
"Shut up, Merlin, and get on with your chores." Arthur grumbled refusing to look at hi servant as he sat down. This was all his fault after all. He would not have put his shirt on the wrong way if he hadn't been so troubled with thoughts of him and Morgana throughout the night he was sure.
"And what do you think I'm doing?" Merlin groused back as he shook out the bedding before tucking it in.
"With you I never can tell." Arthur replied smirking as he bit into a sausage. Though as he did so his plan came back into his mind. It was time to set it into action, this was the only chance he would have to really talk to Merlin before the day truly began, for the both of them. Therefore swallowing the food in his mouth he spoke in a serious tone. "Merlin, join me will you?"
At that Merlin raised his eyebrows. What was going on? Arthur never asked him to join him. In fact Arthur never asked him to do anything, it was always an order. So why? Well only one way to find out he guessed. Therefore abandoning his current activities Merlin did as Arthur suggested and came and sat with him at the table.
But once he got there all that happened was a silence fell between them. It was starting to become uncomfortable and Merlin being Merlin felt the need to fill it. "So is this why you asked me to join you? So I could watch you eat? Is this a new form of torture in Camelot?" He asked jokingly.
At those words Arthur looked up with a frown before looking back at his full plate. It was the first time he considered that maybe Merlin hadn't had such a breakfast. The first time he had considered Merlin having breakfast at all really. He had always worked on the assumption that as prince, it was his entitlement and he never considered the servant. But considering his thoughts about the idea of maybe Merlin one day marrying Morgana, he needed to start treating his friend as more of an equal. If he was to become what would amount to his brother-in-law, he needed the kingdom, and Merlin, to see he thought of him as such. And while it might not be much, it would be a start. Therefore he waved his hand towards the platter of food Merlin had brought him.
"Help yourself." He said mildly, taking great delight in the shocked look Merlin gave him at his words. As well as enjoying how he cautiously reacted out and snagged on of bread rolls before starting to nibble on it like a scared girl.
Merlin for his part didn't know what to make of this. Arthur asked him to sit with him and offered to share his breakfast? What was going on? Was he ill… or enchanted? He hoped not. He had had enough of enchantments recently, but he knew something wasn't right. He let a little of his magic go, in the hopes it would reveal what was wrong, but he felt nothing unusual. Of course that did not mean he lowered his guard as he ate the roll he had taken.
Arthur finished what he could of his breakfast and leaned back in his chair. It was time for him and Merlin to talk, or more to the point, for Merlin to give him the answers he needed. "So Merlin, I wanted to ask, what is going on with you and Morgana." He asked in a casual tone, not wanting the younger man to go on the defensive.
"What?! Nothing." Merlin spluttered, choking on the bread roll so much that Arthur rolled his eyes as he handed him a goblet of water. If he hadn't he wasn't sure his friend wouldn't have stopped breathing.
"Merlin, I am not stupid, nor am I unobservant." Merlin couldn't help but raise his eyebrows at that one, because really? "I spent the whole meal last night watching Morgana stare over my shoulder, just as I was doing over hers. I know she was looking at you. I thought it might have something to do with the enchantment you had been under, as such I decided to visit her later that night… Do you know what I saw when I did that, Merlin?"
"Umm-no?" Merlin answered hoping against hope it wasn't what he was pretty sure it was. Because how on earth was he going to explain why he was in Morgana's chambers when everyone else was asleep? Oh why was it now that Arthur seemed to find it in himself to actually see what was going on around him? The one time Merlin really wished he didn't.
"I saw you leaving Morgana's room. What were you doing there, pray tell?"
"Gaius asked me to deliver a sleeping draft. You know she has nightmares." Merlin answered quickly hoping that would be the end of it, though at the look in Arthur's eyes he doubted he would be that lucky.
"I do, and I am sure that after her recent ordeal they are worse, but I was waiting outside some time. A lot longer than it would take to deliver a draft. So tell me, Merlin, what were you doing in there for so long?" Arthur asked with a raise of his eyebrows. He would get an answer from Merlin, even if they had to sit here all day while he waited for it.
At that Merlin scrambled to come up with some excuse, but as he did so another idea came into his mind. It certainly wasn't one he had planned, or even considered, but maybe, just maybe it would work. If he was going to get Morgana to fall in love with him while he gave her his heart, he was going to need time with the lady in question, and he was going to need it without the worry of getting his head chopped off for his efforts. Arthur could help him with that. Just as he covered for him and Gwen, Arthur could do the same for him and Morgana… but would he? If he told Arthur the truth, or a version of it, would the prince stand by him or would he warn him away? Would Arthur be the friend he had been to him with Gwen, or would he be all 'you're a servant and she is a lady, you never be together', as he had always been before. But that was before Gwen. Had she changed him enough that he would help him? And was he willing to risk it?
Though even as he thought that Merlin knew deep down that if he was going succeed he would need Arthur's support, without it his plan would fail. Because the only way that he could get Morgana back to their side would be if he could offer something. More than just himself, he would need to be able to give her the position she currently holds. Offer her the influence in Arthur's court that they all knew he would hold. He would need Arthur to bring him out of shadows so that they could be together. Would Arthur do it? Did the prince realise how much advice and help he gave him? Was he ready to ask for that now? But he knew he had no choice. If he was going to try and save Morgana, and thus save them all, he needed to know. Therefore taking a deep breath he spoke.
"I lied yesterday, when I told you Gaius had found an antidote-"
"I knew it, you're still enchanted-" Arthur interrupted standing quickly about to start pacing as he tried to think of a way to save his friend. But he was stopped by Merlin's next words.
"No Arthur, I'm not. The enchantment was broken, just not in the way I told you."
"Then how?" He asked still not sure whether he needed to worry, but hoping that Merlin had some explanation that would make sense to him. After all Merlin had not seemed enchanted after he had told him it had been broken, so…
"True love's kiss. When I went to see Morgana yesterday we kissed, and it was broken." Merlin said, causing Arthur to sit back down rather heavily as the ramifications of that sentence set into his mind.
"You are in love with Morgana?" He asked not without a slight tone of incredulousness. He couldn't wrap him mind around it. Oh sure, he had thought it was possible, had even been considering the two of them married, but to hear the words from Merlin's own mouth brought it home in a way that academic speculation never could.
"Yes." Merlin whispered, realising it was the first time he had admitted to that out loud. This was it. The point of no return. It was the first step on the road he had decided to take, he just hoped it was the right one. He hoped this was the right path, and that it wouldn't end with heartbreak and death because that was what he was trying to avoid. He wanted to keep everyone safe, and make up for his own mistakes and failings.
"Okay… okay." Arthur said nodding as he ran his hands through his hair still stunned that Merlin had admitted it. But then this was Merlin, he wore his heart on his sleeve, he was such a girl.
"I… I know that nothing could ever come of it, Sire. You do not have to worry-" Merlin started to ramble keeping his eyes firmly on the wood in front of him as he wondered what Arthur's reaction to those words would be. Would he agree, or argue against him? Would he be the king Merlin saw, or the arrogant prince he had once been?
"No. Merlin I… you're right that nothing can happen. Not while my father is on the throne." Arthur said stopping for a moment before he said anything more. Because what he was about to say was big. It was changing the customs and rules of Camelot big, and he needed to take a breath before he could force the words from his lips. Before he could willing declare himself to a course of action that could upset the order they lived by. Oh he knew if it became a major issue Merlin would never hold him to the words he spoke now, but as his friend, as his future king, he would hold himself to them. One more deep breath and he finally felt able to continue. "When I come to the throne I hope to change that. You know of my affections and desires for Gwen, and I cannot in good conscious not afford you the same wishes with Morgana. Therefore when I am king, if you and she feel as you do now, then I am more than happy to give my permission to your courtship, and marriage."
Merlin sat there blinking at Arthur as he said those words. He tried to work out when it was that he had become so… he didn't think he had word to describe what it was Arthur had just said. It was momentous. This was the same man who refused to talk about his feelings for Gwen because he claimed it could never be… but it seemed Merlin's words had gotten through to him after all, and now… now he was offering that freedom to Merlin himself. He never thought the day would come when Arthur did this. When Arthur showed him that he thought of him as more than just his servant. Oh he knew he did, he knew they were friends, but that was something they kept behind insults and orders. To hear him say that he willing to let him marry Morgana… no more than that. That he would make it happen when he became king, it made a wide smile spread across Merlin's face. Because he knew the man sitting in front of him wasn't a prince, but the king he would become.
"Thank you, Arthur." He replied sincerely his twinkling with joy at how accepting he had been about his relationship with Morgana. Because it made Merlin realise for the first time in a long time that when the day came, Arthur might just accept everything else there is to know about him. It gave him more hope than he had felt in such a long time, it made his heart sing.
"Yes well, until then, I need you to…" and with that Arthur gave off a long list of chores he had for his manservant, but even as he did so he couldn't hide the smile that was on his lips at the look on Merlin's face. It made him feel good, and that feeling made him know that this was the right decision. That giving his friend the chance of love he deserved he had somehow done something that made the gods themselves smile upon him. He knew that was a delusional idea, but the way Merlin was looking at him… it was the only way he could describe it.
At his words Merlin stood and got back to work, but even as he did so his smile did not dim. The future looked bright, and he couldn't wait to see it to completion. It wasn't until he was taking Arthur's empty breakfast plates down to the kitchen he remembered what he would need to do to make what Arthur proposed a reality. He still had to convince Morgana to join them. But after speaking to Arthur, even that didn't seem such a massive task as it had before. He could do this, he could save her, and everything would be right. The time he dreamed of would become reality, and he would have Morgana at his side as it happened.
