Chapter 6 Le Tour de Koopa

One thing that stuck out more than anything else about Castle Koopa was the fact that it was dark. Actually, dark is not the write word to use. "Dark" is a word that it used to describe the sky after sundown. A more fitting word to bestow upon Castle Koopa would be "creepy."

Castle Koopa was creepy, one of the most creepy places that the Koopalings had ever stepped foot into. Superficially, it reminded Iggy of the interior of a haunted mansion more than it did a comfortable home to live. However, the creepiness, by itself, was not what Iggy found the weirdest. What weirded him out more than anything was the fact that King Koopa seemed to appreciate the creepiness.

"I like this Castle the same way the Mario Brothers like their sewage pipes; dark and dank," he told Iggy, Lemmy and Morton with a smile. Lemmy dawned a look of confusion.

"Why?" he asked. "What is so great about the darkness?"

King Koopa laughed, as if Lemmy had just said the stupidest thing under the sun.

"All koopas like darkness!" he said. Morton shook his head.

"I don't," he said. "I find darkness quite lonely, actually."

"The absence of photons puts my on edge, if I were to speak factually," Iggy said. "After all, there are so many health benefits to natural lighting. For example, light from the sun contains Vitamin D that is beneficial for both humans and koopas anatomically."

King Koopa turned toward Iggy with a glare of annoyance.

"Where did you learn that?" he asked.

"Well, I have utilized divers sources when conducting my research, such as books and scientific journals…"

"BOOKS!?" King Koopa bellowed. His voice created an echo that bounced down the halls. "Koopas don't read books! We are all lying, cheating, illiterates!" Then King Koopa chuckled. "Well, except for Kooky, but he is a special case."

Suddenly, a scream could be heard at the end of the hallway. Morton, Lemmy, and Iggy looked and saw a koopa boy being chased by a koopa girl. The koopa boy bore a strong resemblance to Morton,a nd the koopa girl bore an even stronger resemblance to Wendy.

"Big Mouth! Give it back!" The koopa girl said.

"Not on your life, Kootie Pie!" Big Mouth said gleefully. Iggy noticed that he was carrying a pink high heel in his hand. King Koopa, with a stern expression, stepped in front of Big Mouth, causing him to come to a complete halt.

"Big Mouth!" he said. "What did I tell you? If you're gonna steal something…"

Big Mouth sighed.

"Steal something worthwhile." Then the grin reappeared on his face. He turned and chucked the shoe directly at his sister, causing a red bump to form right in the middle of her snout. Kootie Pie screamed.

"Oww!" she said. "That's going to leave a mark! King Daddykins, I think that you should throw Big Mouth in the dungeons!"

King Koopa, despite the rotten attitude he had displaying the whole time, softened up completely.

"Now, Kootie Pie," he said gently. "Big Mouth doesn't need to stay in the dungeons. How about I just send him to his room instead?"

"NO!" Kootie Pie screamed as she stamped her foot. "I want you to send him to the dungeons! I want you, I want you, I WANT YOU!"

With that, Kootie Pie sprawled herself down on the ground. She banged her fists against the floor, her feet were kicking and flapping like the tail of a fish on land. And the sound she was making...it was enough to drive the most stable people to insanity! Iggy put his hands to his ears to filter out the heinous sound. He could see a wince pass over Morton's face, and Lemmy looked like he was just about to start crying himself.

"Alright, alright!" King Koopa yelled to be heard over Kootie Pie's tantrum. "If Daddykins' little princess wants her brother in the dungeons, then he will send her brother to the dungeons."

Kootie Pie stopped whining immediately and smiled up at her father. Big Mouth, on the other hand, looked horrified.

"What? The dungeon?" he asked. "No! I am not going to the dungeon! I can't go to the dungeon! It smells like burnt underwear and Kooky's hair! On top of which, it is so cold! Have you ever seen a polar bear, King Dad?! I saw a polar bear! I saw a polar bear the last time I was in the dungeons; it was that cold! On top of which…."

While he was still yapping a way, two green sledge brothers appeared from the darkness. King Koopa handed them both a pair of earmuffs, which they immediately put on. Then, one grabbed Big Mouth's left arm, while the other sledge brother grabbed his right arm. While Big Mouth yapped his gums like a steamroller, the sledge brothers dragged him away. King Koopa sighed in relief once he could no longer hear the sound of his frankly ear grating voice.

"I am so glad that he is gone," he said.

"Me too," Kootie Pie said with a smirk. "Het gets more annoying with each passing day." Suddenly, she spotted the three Koopalings who were being accompanied by "King Daddykins." "Whoa, Daddy! What happened to Hop; he got so much taller!" She looked at Morton and gawked. "WHAT?! Since when are there two Big Mouths?"

King Koopa chuckled.

"That's Morton, Kootie Pie. He along with Lemmy and Iggy are from another dimension."

Kootie Pie's eyes grew wide.

"Ooh, another dimension!" she squealed. "That must mean that Kooky's invention works!"

"It does," King Koopa said. "In fact, I was just about to take them to him."

Kootie Pie smiled.

"Can I come with?" she asked.

King Koopa smiled.

"Of course, babycakes," he said, although there was a drop of venom to his otherwise sweet tone.