Broken Wings chapter 6

A/N: Well it looks like no one wants to triad tattoos for chapters, damn! Oh well.

(Jade's P.O.V.)

Tori walked off, leaving me more confused then I was before. I kissed her, I don't know what came over me, but I kissed her, I don't kiss girls, I don't kiss anyone other then Beck. Shit. I think I've been standing here for like ten minutes before Beck shows up, I don't know if I should even tell him what's going on.

"Hey babe." He smiles at me, I try my best not to cringe at the hello, it just doesn't sound right. He leans down and places his lips on mine and that just doesn't feel right. Fuck!

I pull back, breaking the kiss that I really don't want. I know now that it is Tori that I want, the kiss just proved it. "Beck, we need to talk." I say, he lets out a deep sigh, he knows what's going to happen, I know he does, but he doesn't know why it's going to happen and I'm debiting if I should tell him or not. I grab his hand and pull him to the janitor's closet.

"Don't say it Jade." Beck firmly says as I close the door. "If we break up again, it's the last time. I'm not going to keep doing this." He waves his hand between us.

"I kissed someone, and it felt right. It doesn't feel right with you." He looked dumbfounded.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, not able to say anything. We stood there, in stillness for what seemed like forever, I was uncomfortable with being here and I could tell that he was too, but neither of us could bring ourselves to move. "Who is he?" Beck whispered, yet I could still hear the bitterness in his voice. I didn't say anything, just looked at him. It was a few minutes before he said another word. "I have a right to know who he is, Jade." His voice dripping with acid.

"It doesn't matter who I kissed, Beck. Just know that it is over between us and I need to be with them right now, just friends or more, I don't know, but I can't be with you when I know I have feelings for someone else." I looked him in the eyes, I wanted him to know that I needed this.

He sighed, deeply again. "I really think you should just tell me who the hell he is, Jade. No one is going to be happy if I have to find out myself." He stepped closer to me. "Just tell me." He leaned down coming face to face with me. "Now." He kept his voice low, and that scared me more then yelling.

"I told you, Beck, It doesn't matter." I kept my cold, on the outside, I wasn't going to let him know that I was, without a doubt, terrified right now. "Now, why don't you back up before I get my scissors out and make you back the fuck up." I tried to sound bitter with my words. I didn't want to go through this with him. I have before, him trying to get information out of me. He isn't as kind as people think.

"Fine." He said, backing up. He walked passed me, slamming the door as he left.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding, I didn't think he'd really give up so easily. I walked out the door and headed to class.

Sikowitz's class was starting and I hadn't seen Tori all day, I needed to see her. I sat in the back, I sat for about ten minutes before I left the class, Beck wouldn't stop glaring at me and it made me uncomfortable.

I went to the janitor's closet, not really knowing were to go. I opened the door and flipped the light on.

(Tori's P.O.V.)

I heard a bag drop to the ground causing me to look up, Jade was staring at me. I didn't think anyone would come in here, seeing as everyone loved Sikowitz.

I was sitting on an upside down bucket with my left leg crossed over my right, I had my pant leg rolled up just enough to give me access to the skin a few inches above my ankle. I had my favorite pocket knife with me and I was doing a number on my leg. I forgot that I was doing it when I saw Jade, so right now she was getting an eye full of the split flesh and blood.

She walked over to me, dropping down to her knees in front of me. She grabbed some paper towels that were on the janitor's desk, placing them onto my leg, applying presser. "Tori." She whispers, looking up into my eyes. "Why?" She asked, her voice full of concern.

"My problems are none of your concern, Jade. Why don't you just run along to Beck and fuck or something?" My voice wavered, I was trying to seem like I don't care, but I know she see through it.

"I'm not going anywhere." She places her hand on my cheek, looking me in the eyes. "Anyways," She sighs and removes her hand. "Beck and I are no longer together." She lifts up the paper towels to look at my leg, the cuts are deep, so they are still bleeding. "Tori?" She puts more presser on my leg, trying to get the bleeding to stop quicker. "Why are you doing this to yourself? You are so beautiful and amazing, you need to stop."

"I want to feel something other than emptiness and worthlessness, that's why I do it Jade." I sighed. "I can feel the pain of life depart as the blood runs down my skin." I reach over to my bag and pulled out a pack of Marlboro red 100s, pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "You can have one if you want." I told Jade as I sat the pack on the desk. She said she didn't want one, I was okay with that, more for me. I took a deep drag of my cigarette, looking at Jade. "Why are you here anyways?"

"I wanted to talk to you but you didn't show up to class." She removed the paper towels again, this time the bleeding had stopped. "Beck was giving me dirty looks, it made me uncomfortable, so I left. I was going to just go home, but something told me to come in here. I'm glad I did. Can I ask you something Vega?" I nodded, taking another long drag, inhaling the smoke that will one day kill me. "Why me? Why now? You have helped me get Beck back before, so why?"

I turned my head to the left, letting out the smoke I held in my lungs, I might see myself as a bitch, but, I didn't want to blow the smoke in her face. "Jade." I looked back at her. "I help you get him back because he made you happy, you wanted him. I have always loved you, from day one. You hating me pushed me harder to have you in my life." I took one last drag before putting out the cigarette.

She just looked at me, no anger, no hate, just love. I would be lying if I said it didn't scare me, a calm before the storm perhaps. "My turn." I said, throwing the bud into the trashcan to my right. "Why do you care so much?"

"I have always cared. Have you ever noticed that I would get upset if anyone, other than myself, messed with you? What's the saying, 'If a boy picks on you that means he likes you'? I guess that is what was going on. I always figured that my feelings for were just friendly, and I couldn't let you get close to me. So I pushed you away the only way I knew how to. I don't let people close because I don't want them to be disappointed when they really get to know me." She looks up at me again, she was still on her knees in front of me, and rolled up the sleeve of her shirt reviling tiny white scares coving her arm. "I quit some time ago. People tend to runaway when they see these, because only someone fucked in the head would do this to themselves, according to them. Beck ran once, I haven't really trusted him since." She rolled her sleeve back down. "After you kissed me the other day, and after I kissed you this morning, I knew I couldn't stay with him. It hasn't felt right for along time, it was becoming all about sex, just getting off, nothing more, nothing less. I don't want that to be my life."

"Jade, I-" I sighed, I was finding it hard to speak right now.

"You don't have to say anything, Tori." She looked deep into my eyes. "I want your knife." I had sat it on the desk after she came in, I had forgotten all about it, really. I reach for it, holding on to it for a few minutes as we sit in silence, it wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't comfortable either. I let out a breath and handed over the knife, I had another at home if I needed it but this one was my favorite, it was sharper. "Thank you." She whispered, kind of surprised that I gave her the knife without throwing a fit about it. "Where else have you cut?"

"Curiosity killed the cat." She looked disappointed, I sighed and stood up taking off my shirt, showing her my scares and the two fresh cuts over my breasts. Her face dropped, my entire abdomen was covered in little white lines and so was my chest. She got up off her knees, walked over to me, and lightly traced the scares.

"Is this the only place?" She asked, not taking her eyes off my abs.

"No." The word barely audible.

She looked up, her hand still on my scares. "Where?" She looks at me with a concern that I have never seen on her face before.

"You will find out one day, maybe, if you want to pursue whatever this is." I waved my hand between us.

"If you want this," She waved her hand between us this time. "You need to see someone first. I want you to get the help you need because I care about you and don't want to lose you before I've even had a chance to find out what this is." She must have seen my face fall because she rushed the last part out.

"Okay."