Chapter 7 Kooky's Contraptions

King Koopa and Kootie Pie led Lemmy, Iggy, and Morton into the underbelly of the castle. The darkness was strong, but not nearly as strong as the stench that Big Mouth had previously described. Lemmy felt chills run up and down and caress his spine.

However, that wasn't the only reason why Lemmy was feeling uneasy. King Koopa was leading them, and Lemmy had more than enough reason to be suspicious of him. The inflections in his voice, the fact that he got great pleasure in the rotten behavior of his children. It made Lemmy uncomfortable on an unpleasant scale.

"So," Kootie Pie spoke up, "you three are from another dimension, hmm?"

"Oh, yeah," Lemmy said, hoping that engaging in a conversation would help distract from his unease. Kootie Pie giggled.

"That's gnarly," she said. Lemmy was just about to comment on her use of outdated slang when she flashed him a cutesy smile. "So, what do you guys do in your universe?"

"Oh, not much," Lemmy said. "We mostly just hang out."

Lemmy could see that his answer did not satisfy Kootie Pie in the least. She opened her mouth to presumably ask another question. However, before she could say anything, King Koopa came to a halt at the front of the pack.

"Here we are," he said. They were right in front of a door that read "Do Not Enter: Genius At Work!" King Koopa completely ignored the sign and barged in to the lab.

The lab was a complete mess. All sorts of machinery was strewn about the room. There was a ticking time bomb with a million wires sticking out of it, as well as test coils going on and off. And right on the far end of the room was…

"Ludwig?" Lemmy, Iggy, and Morton asked.

It looked a lot like Ludwig, that much was for certain. The only differences were the fact that his shell was green instead of blue, and his hair was messier than a haystack. He turned and looked complete baffled at the sight of the three Koopalings.

"Who are you guys?" he asked. His voice was of a notably higher pitch than Ludwig's. Then he noticed that King Koopa was with them and groaned.

"King Dad! Didn't you read the sign?"

"Of course not, Kooky; you know I can't read." King Koopa stepped in front of Iggy, Lemmy, and Morton, making it impossible for Lemmy to see past his monstrous shell. "Besides, these three are far more important than any invention that you're currently working on."

Lemmy moved so that he could see Kooky's face. Kooky was initially looking at his father in annoyance, but upon seeing Lemmy, his expression shifted to curiosity. He came up and examined Lemmy. When he was done with that he examined Morton and Iggy.

"Amazing," he whispered. "They resemble Big Mouth, Hip and Hop. It's almost as if…"

"They are Big Mouth, Hip, and Hop!" Kootie Pie said. "You brought them here with your new ray gun."

"I did?" Kooky asked. Then his tone shifted completely. "Oh, I mean I did!" He let out a maniacal laugh. "I always knew I was a genius!"

"Yeah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that," Kootie Pie said with a role of the eyes. Kooky seemed to ignore her and smiled at the three Koopalings. Lemmy winced when he saw that Kooky had rotten and sometimes straight up missing teeth.

"So," Kooky said. "What exactly are your names, interdimensional doubles?"

Iggy stepped forward, and when he spoke he used the same formal tone that he used before.

"My name is Ignatius Magnolia Koopa. These two are my brothers; Morton Bailey Koopa and Lemonade Natalie Koopa."

Kooky smirked.

"What silly names!" he said. Lemmy had to take all of the self control he had at his disposal to not point out that his name was literally "Kooky." "Why would your version of King Dad name you that?"

"It was born of a tradition long withstanding," Iggy said as he stepped forward. "Koopas have been assigned middle names belonging to the opposite gender for generations."

Kooky, despite the malice in his inflection, looked genuinely interested.

"Fascinating," he said. Iggy nodded with affirmation.

"It is, especially when you take the time to study the biological and historical reasons that went into putting the tradition in place." Then he looked past Kooky's shoulder and let out a gasp. "Oh my goodness, is that a model of a 1969 XY microscope?"

Kooky smiled again, his eyes now directly on Iggy.

"Oh, it's not just a model," he said. "It is a fully functioning machine!"

Iggy let out a squeal of delight.

"Oh my developer, those have been obsolete in my universe for the past two decades!" Iggy went up and stroked the device lovingly. "I have been searching for one of these babies ever since I've turned ten, but nobody stocks them anymore."

"Yeah, well, I don't use it very often myself," Kooky said. "I prefer to use the microscope of my invention."

Kooky reached into his desk and pulled out a small device. It resembled a cigar more than it did a microscope, but if Lemmy looked closely, he could see that it had a glass lense on one side. Lemmy felt confused, and Iggy looked the same way.

"That's the microscope?" Iggy asked.

"Mmhm," Kooky said with a nod. "Why don't you give it a look?"

Iggy peeked into the device and gasped in astonishment.

"Wow! This is so cool!" he turned to Morton and Lemmy with a grin. "Lemmy, Morton, you've got to see this!"

Iggy came over and handed the device to Lemmy. When Lemmy looked through it, he himself let out a gasp. He could see so many different things floating in the air, such as tufts of pollen and airborne bacteria. Lemmy handed the device to Morton.

"Woah," Morton said. He pulled his face away from the lense. "That's one way to make me paranoid."

Kooky laughed.

"What a fantastic idea!" he said. "I can use a device like this to strike fear into the hearts of the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom!"

Now Iggy looked interested, if not a slightly bit startled as well.

"You guys have a Mushroom Kingdom in your world?"

Kootie ie snorted.

"Of course we do!" she said. "We also have a pair of Mario Brothers, as well as a snooty Princess Toadstool."

Lemmy looked at Kootie in confusion.

"Princess Toadstool?" he asked. "Is that the name of Princess Peach here?"

A look of defiance and confusion flashed across Kootie Pie's face.

"You mean Princess Toadstool?" she asked. Lemmy shook his head.

"No, I mean Princess Peach."

"You're wrong!" Kootie Pie shouted. "It is not Princess Peach, it is Princess Toadstool. So there! Haha on you!"

Lemmy winced. How old was Kootie Pie exactly? She looked to be about sixteen, but not many teenagers that Lemmy knew would have such a childish attitude, or throw temper tantrums on such a grand scale. It was confusing, to say the least.

"The name of their princess doesn't matter, Kootie Pie," said King Koopa. "What matters is the dastardly deeds they do to her." King Koopa looked down at the littlest Koopaling. "Is there anything of note that you do to your princess?"

"Well, we do kidnap her once a week," Lemmy said after a moment of hesitation. King Koopa smiled.

"Incredible! I never even considered kidnapping my princess. I just want to take over her kingdom."

Iggy gawked at King Koopa in terror.

"What? But in our universe, such a desire lead to the Great Koopa Mushroom War!"

"A war, you say?" King Koopa asked. "Why, that sounds like a spectacularly slimy idea!" King Koopa laughed, a guttural and scratchy noise. Iggy looked like he would faint, an expression that perfectly mirrored Lemmy's own feelings. Morton stared at the green koopa king in bafflement.

"You mean that you would be willing to start a war?" he asked. "That's insane!"

"Exactly!" said Iggy. "Not to mention the casualties of a war on the scale of the Great Koopa Mushroom War would be cataclysmic!"

"Pfft," King Koopa said with a nonchalant wave of the hand. "Why should I care about casualties? All that I care about is having Toadstool's kingdom in my possession."

"Ooh, I just got an idea, King Daddykins!" Kootie Pie exclaimed. "Why don't we take over both worlds?"

"Yeah!" Kooky said with a smile."We could take over both Mushroom Worlds. That way you'd be the king of not just one kingdom, but four!"

King Koopa smiled.

"An amazing idea! I'm so glad I thought of it!" Lemmy, Morton, and Iggy all gawked at him in terror.

"You can't do that!" Lemmy said.

"Precisely!" Iggy said. "That Mushroom World is our home! You can't just take it over!"

King Koopa grinned wickedly at Iggy. he then pinned his arms behind his back. Iggy wriggled and squirmed, trying to get free.

"Let me go!" he screamed in fright.

"I will in a minute," King Koopa said. He turned to Kooky. "Kooky, get the Lame Brainer for Iggy."

"Why of course, Pop!' Kooky said. He picked up a device laying on the floor. It was a white helmet with a blue tube snaking around it and a yellow light bulb protruding from the surface. Iggy continued to struggle as Kooky placed it on his head, and Lemmy and Morton watched in horror and shock.

"No!" Iggy screamed. "Please, you can't do…"

Iggy stopped mid sentence. He turned to Lemmy and Morton, and Lemmy gasped in horror when he saw that his brother's pupils were red with mindlessness.

"Iggy?" Lemmy asked. King Koopa laughed.

"He's not Iggy anymore," he said smugly. "Now he is my drone." He turned toward Iggy. "Take these two to the dungeon and lock em up."

"Yes, King Koopa," Iggy said. There was something metallic about his voice, something robotic. Iggy grabbed his siblings by the arms and started to lead them away.

"No!" Lemmy cried. King Koopa turned to Kooky and Kootie Pie.

"You two get Bully and Cheatsy," he told his kids. "You four are about to go dimension hopping!"

Lemmy stared at the Koopa King as he was dragged away. Before, he had felt a little uneasy and suspicious about this king's character. At first he had dismissed them, wanting to believe that King Koopa was really a nice guy. But now...he knew that King Bowser Koopa was truly an evil foe.