Hello my darlings. I would like to thank Dinozzo1, OechsnerC, parrillaxrobbie (Guest), AndreKl, Meri Ley (Guest) and mersan123 for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you how have followed and favoured since my last update.
So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Merlin sat tending the fire in the camp, though he was watching Arthur out of the corner of his eyes. Something had changed, but he had no idea what it was. All he knew was that Arthur had barely spoken two words to him since they had moved away from the battle site. Instead he had kept to himself, leading the men from the front, and refusing to be pulled into any kind of conversation. Even Leon had been rebuffed by the prince. Something was on his mind, and it was weighing heavily, Merlin knew that much. But what it was, or where it had come from alluded him. Arthur had been fine at the end of the battle hadn't he? He'd called him down to tend to his knights, but after that, it seemed he withdrew. If only he would tell Merlin what was going through his mind.
With a sigh the younger man turned back to the fire hoping that once they returned to Camelot he would be able to get to the bottom of whatever problem Arthur was struggling with now.
Leon too, was watching the prince, but he was also watching his manservant. He had noticed how it seemed Arthur barely talked to him, and how it seemed he couldn't look him in the eyes. But when Merlin was turned away Leon also saw how Arthur stared at him as if he was some sort of puzzle he just couldn't figure out. He had no idea what had happened, nor when, but it made him feel uncomfortable. The idea that the two men who he held in such respect were at odds was wrong in his mind. Nothing should ever come between those two. He had tied to talk to Arthur about it, maybe see if he could get him to open up, but he had been turned away without care. It seemed he would not be able to help solve whatever this problem was. Leon just hoped that once they returned to Camelot, someone there would be able to succeed where he himself failed. He really hoped they could.
Arthur for his part was completely unaware of all those watching him, studying his behaviour, he was too far in his mind to take notice of outside influences. Because while he had decided there was no way Merlin could have magic, that there was no way his suspicions could in anyway be true, he still couldn't rid them from his mind. He couldn't not see the broken branch or the dropped weapons, couldn't not remember all the times things had seemed to go there way as if the gods themselves were smiling upon them. All the times Merlin had risked his life to save his. Why would an evil sorcerer do that? Why would Merlin drink poison for him if he practised magic? Why would he muck out his stables for that matter? His brain was a whirl of questions and suspicions and unanswerable doubts. And beneath all of those was the hurt of possible betrayal. The idea that the man who he had finally decided to honour and recognise could be hiding such a secret from him… it tore at his heart in a way Arthur had not believed anything ever could. It pulled at him to rage at the man, to take the pain he was feeling and return it tenfold. But he couldn't, because he had no proof, just a suspicion. And while that might be enough in his father's court to have a man put to death, it was not enough for him to turn on his friend.
And there was the other half of the dilemma he was facing. If he questioned Merlin, asked him if his suspicions were correct, then he would be honour bound to turn the younger man in. Be required by the code he lived by to hand him over to his father for his judgment… he would have to stand by and watch Merlin die. No. He couldn't. He couldn't lose Merlin, which meant Merlin couldn't have magic. Maybe if he told himself that enough he would drive out the insecurities in his mind. He hoped so.
He didn't know what to think or what to believe right then, and all he wanted to do was talk it over with the one man he discussed everything with. The one man who always gave him an insight he had missed. But he was also the one man he couldn't discuss this with. But he needed to talk to someone. Someone who would understand, someone who cared for Merlin as much as he did and wouldn't want to see him hurt. Someone who would keep his suspicions to themselves, while supporting him through his thought process. He just didn't know who that someone was.
Merlin lay on his bed roll, not being able to sleep. He knew Arthur wasn't resting either in the place he lay, the other side of the slowly dying fire. But he couldn't go to him and asked what was worrying him. It seemed as if some gulf had opened up between the two of them. As if the prince had closed himself off for some reason. Merlin tried to think what it could be, but he had nothing. Arthur had seemed fine about him and Morgana, supportive of their relationship, and he could think of nothing else that could cause the way Arthur was behaving. Oh well soon they would be back in Camelot and hopefully then he would get his answers. Yes back in Camelot, he would make Arthur talk to him then.
The victorious knights rode in the following afternoon to the cheers of the people who were always glad to see there prince return. Once they reached the courtyard they were greeted by the king himself, telling Arthur how proud he was of his achievements while Gaius took control of the two injured knights.
But Arthur really wasn't paying attention to any of this. Because as he had dismounted he had seen who it was that was standing beside his father. And he suddenly knew just who he needed to talk to about all the thoughts in his mind. Therefore as soon as his father returned inside he moved towards the lady standing on the stone steps.
"Morgana." He said with a smile to the woman he thought of as a sister.
"Arthur, I am glad to see you have returned unharmed." Morgana replied, and for the first time in a long time she actually meant the words she was speaking. This was not an act but truth. She liked how it made her feel.
"My thanks, but you look pale. Allow me to escort you to your rooms so that you may rest. Merlin." Arthur shouted over his shoulder as he firmly took a hold of Morgana's elbow.
"I am fine, Arthur-" Morgana started to protest, wondering just what was wrong. But before she could say anything more the dark haired servant was standing before her, stopping her words with the look of endearment he had in his eyes as they met hers briefly before he turned to his master.
"Yes, Sire?" Merlin asked wondering just what Arthur wanted. I mean he hadn't so much as looked him in the eye for the past day, why would he call him now?
"The Lady Morgana is feeling faint. I believe it will take the both of us to escort her to her rooms." Arthur replied looking at tip of Merlin's ears rather than in his eyes. Not that the younger man noticed, as his eyes instantly snapped to the lady in question, running them carefully over her form to try and identify what was wrong.
"Of course. My lady? Do you require Gaius?" Merlin asked stepping forwards without though as he took a hold of Morgana's other elbow in a courtly gesture, but one that would also help her remain upright. He didn't want to let anything happen to her after all.
"No Merlin, I am fine. I do not understand what Arthur is going on about." Morgana responded glaring at her brother for making her sound so weak.
"I believe she has had too much sun. Let's get her inside." Arthur replied authoritatively, not looking at the lady or the manservant. In fact he seemed to be staring into space with a superior look upon his features.
Merlin for his part couldn't help but raise his eyebrow at that as he pointedly looked up at the cloud covered sky. What sun? But he wasn't about to question Arthur right then, so instead he steered Morgana towards her rooms. And he didn't even notice when Arthur fell behind to walk in step with Gwen, seemingly completely unconcerned with Morgana's health now.
And Leon watching couldn't help but frown in confusion at the scene in front of him. Because surely it should be Arthur leading Morgana, with Merlin and Gwen a step behind, not the other way round. Just what was going on? But no, he knew it wasn't his place to find the answers to that, he just hoped no one else had noticed. Or if they had they had believed Arthur's proclamation that Morgana was unwell. Even if she did look the picture of health to him. Therefore he turned back to his men, snapping out orders in the hopes to keep their eyes and their minds from what their prince was doing, or how he was behaving.
The four people walked to Morgana's room in silence. Arthur wanted nothing more than to pull Gwen apart so he could talk to her. Ask her advice and help with the troubles in his mind, but he first had to make sure his friend was occupied. And what better way to do that, than give Merlin a chance to greet his love upon his return home. It was genius planning in Arthur's mind and therefore he suffered in silence as he followed the lady and his servant, while walking at the side of the woman he loved.
When they finally made it into Morgana's chambers, Arthur pulled back on Gwen's arm when she went to follow the other couple deeper into the room.
"Well I think it's time we leave the lovebirds to it. Merlin, I expect you to bring me my dinner on time." With that, and keeping hold of Gwen's arm, he turned her back towards the door and walked out quickly, shutting it quietly behind them.
And Merlin watching couldn't help but raise his eyebrows at this behaviour. Because the one who had just left him alone with Morgana, was the same man who hadn't been able to meet his eyes in the last two days. What was going on with him? But he knew he needed to push that from his mind and concentrate on the woman before him. The one Arthur had orchestrated him some private time with.
"My lady Morgana." He said smiling gently as he stared into her eyes, wondering how she would feel about the way Arthur had behaved.
"Merlin. I am glad you came back unharmed too." Morgana replied moving to lay her hand upon his chest as she returned his stare. Looking into the mesmerising crystal clear blue eyes which seemed so open, and yet, also seemed to hold so many secrets.
"I will always come back to you, my love." Merlin answered, before bending his head and placing a gentle kiss upon her lips. One which he was determined to keep tender, and as such he pushed his magic back down when it tried to rise and take the reins from him. He and the lady in front to of him needed to talk, not get swept away in emotions and magic, no matter how appealing that sounded.
"I know." Morgana responded with a sigh when their lips parted, her eyes turning slightly to the side as she remembered that the man in front of her didn't truly care. He was only showing he did because of the enchantment upon him. No don't think of that now, but even as she pushed it to the back of her mind, she knew it would never go away. That no matter what happened between them it would always be there, the niggling truth that Merlin had no will of his own when it came to her.
"What is that troubles you, my lady?" He asked, running his finger down her jaw until it rested under her chin. He then used it to turn her eyes back to his. He needed to know what had been happening while he had been away. Needed to know what was going through her mind now.
As she stared into Merlin's eyes Morgana couldn't help but shallow at the intensity in them. The way he looked at her as if the words she was about to say were the most important things in the world to him. It caused her heart to skip a beat, and a feeling of some weight descend upon her shoulders. To have someone so reliant on her words… it was more that she had ever imagined.
"I have been thinking about what you said, that day in the forest." Morgana finally answered.
And though her words were barely above a whisper Merlin heard them as clear as a bell ringing in his head. This was it. The time when the path of their joined destiny could be changed, or cemented for all eternity. He found himself tensing, his whole body becoming as tight as a bow as he tried to force lightness into his tone. "And have you decided upon your answer?"
"I have." Morgana replied waiting a beat longer before putting voice to the decision the goddess had guided her too. "I will wait until Arthur is king. I will give him the chance to prove he is not his father and that he will give freedom to my people."
"Oh Morgana-" Merlin rushed to say, wrapping his other arm around her waist and pulling her too him, intending to kiss her with all the relief and passion her words had caused inside himself and his magic. To kiss her and allow himself to rejoice in what he had managed to do. Rejoice in how he had helped turn her from the path of darkness she had been so close to walking.
But before he could close the distance and press his lips on hers once more, Morgana placed a finger over them to stop him. She had more to say yet, and she wasn't sure how he would feel about her conditions, but she had to have them. There was no way she could stand by a watch all the death her father would bring upon her people without them.
"I will not stand by and allow Uther to kill innocent people. If he arrests anyone for the crime of sorcery, I will do everything in my power to release them. That is only way I can live with myself." She stated, waiting with baited breath for Merlin to make his decision on her announcement. To decide if he would help or hinder her. And in that moment she forgot that the enchantment Morgause had planted would make him agree to anything she suggested, or so she believed.
Merlin heard her words, and couldn't help a small amount of guilt to seep into him. Because that was exactly what he had been doing. Standing by and watching. Letting innocent people die so that he could guide Arthur to be king. He knew he had a reason for doing nothing, but hearing Morgana put into words that which he did, made him look at it in a different light. And it was one he did not enjoy. Therefore taking a deep breath he stared deeply down at the woman in his arms as he responded "I understand, and I will stand by your side as you do so, I promise. But only if they are innocent. I will not release someone who has used magic to hurt another, anymore than I would release a murder who had used a sword."
"I agree to your terms." Morgana nodded. That was acceptable. Together they would fight for her people, and help those who needed it most. And all the while she hoped Merlin could turn Arthur's mind to freedom for all those with magic. Turn his mind so that her dream could come true.
"And I yours." Merlin vowed, lowering his forehead so that it rested against her own, his hand still holding her jaw gently. And through that connection he felt the rush of magic from him to her and back again. It was as if somehow with the words they had just spoken they had formed a bond between them. A bond that they would never be able to break, no matter what happened along destiny's path.
And Morgana standing there, clutching at Merlin's wrist heard an unknown voice speak inside her mind. Emrys. He is your destiny, and your doom. She shivered at the words, having no idea what they meant, or who they referred to. Nor why they came to her now, while she stood with Merlin at such a touching moment. She wanted to tell him, to ask what he thought they meant. But even as she opened her mouth to do so she realised that she could feel a bracelet under her palm. The same bracelet she herself and placed upon the man in front of her to bend him to her will. Was that connected to why the voice spoke to her now? And if so, what was she to do? She wanted to utter the spell that would break the leather cord holding the bracelet tight, to release Merlin from the enchantment. But what would happen if she did? How would it change the agreement they had just made? What would it mean to the freedom of her people? And more selfishly, how would he look at her then? Could she really stand see the betrayal and disgust in his eyes?
No she couldn't. She was too scared, too close to having all she wanted to do that now. So instead she tilted her head up, closing the distance to kiss Merlin with everything she had. Putting into that embrace all the feelings she refused to name, all the emotions he caused to sweep through her, and releasing her magic, allowing all her power to run free and unchecked around them.
Merlin returned the embrace with the same intensity, letting his magic loose as well, feeling freer than he ever had when a wind wiped around them both, causing their hair and clothes to ruffle as it shook the bed hangings. For the first time in his life Emrys let himself be free in the arms of the woman he was coming to love. And it was… magical.
When their lips finally parted, their breathing ragged, they both kept the eyes closed for a moment too long. Letting the golden glow they knew would should simmer down, before green met blue once more.
"I… I am sorry, Merlin." Morgana started to stumble. She had never felt her magic so powerfully as she had when they kissed. And she hoped she had not scared the man whose arms she was still wrapped in.
"Never apologise for your magic, Morgana. It is part of you, embrace it." Merlin responded sincerely. No one should ever have to apologise for being who they were.
"Thank you, for understanding." Morgana replied smiling up at him, causing the guilt once more to rise in Merlin as he wondered just how she was going to reach when she discovered she wasn't the only one with magic. Oh he could not see that going well.